Dusk (Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (20 page)

His lips came down on mine, his arms tightening around me. Lifting me off my feet he twirled us there in the water, fast enough to make my head spin but slow enough to keep us upright. His lips never leaving mine, he walked us toward the creek bank.

As my toes touched the grass, Adrian lifted his head and just looked at me. Behind him, the sun sank lower and glowed a bright orange, the brilliant color creeping into the clearing through the branches of the trees that surrounded us.

Dusk
, I thought. That time of the day when heaven seemed closest to earth. When anything was possible.

When love could bloom.

“I don’t deserve you,” I said.

“Don’t say that.” He lifted his hands to my face, threaded his fingers into my hair. “Never say that. You
do
deserve love. Everyone on this planet deserves love.”

“I think I finally believe that,” I said.

He smiled, resting his forehead against mine. “Are you ready to tell your dad that?”

“Yes.” And I was. I really, really was.

W
e sat facing one another, on the same blanket we used the last time we’d come here. Adrian held both my hands in his as he explained a bit about what would happen.

“I’m taking you to another plane of existence,” he explained. “That sounds really fancy and official, but it’s not really a place. Not physically anyway. If that makes any sense. It’s sort of a realm between here and the afterlife.”

I nodded my semi-understanding. As much as science and physics were not my thing, I’d watched enough science fiction on TV to know what he was talking about.

“This isn’t a skill we use often,” he continued, his thumbs stroking back and forth on my hands. “I’ve only seen my dad do this a couple of times.”

Knowing that this skill was used sparingly made me all the more grateful that he was giving me this opportunity to tell my dad face to face that I’d forgiven him.

“We can’t stay long, though,” he cautioned. “I’m sure you’re aware my Boss has people working against him. Crossing to different planes is one of the places that the enemy is able to intercept us, so to speak.”

“Is it dangerous?” I asked, though the uncertainty would not be enough to stop me from doing this.

“Not really,” he said, shaking his head. “The enemy can’t touch you. You don’t have to worry about being physically hurt or anything like that. But he can deceive you. That’s what he does. He twists words and ideas until he deceives you into making a choice that’s wrong.”

“Sounds like I’ve had experience with him already,” I said, thinking of my reckless summer.

Adrian nodded. “He used Nikki and Courtney to get to you. May have even been responsible for the upsetting visions you had of your father. But when we do this… when we cross to another plane, it’s possible he’ll approach you in a different way.”

“How?” I whispered, wanting to somehow be as prepared as possible.

Adrian shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not one specific way. Sometimes he’ll appear as a random person you’ve never seen before. Sometimes he speaks through someone you know. Other times it’s just an audible voice. If it happens, you’ll know immediately that it’s not part of what I’ve done. And I’ll be right here.” His hands squeezed mine. “I won’t let you go.”

“I can handle him.” Nothing was going to keep me from seeing my dad one last time.

“We may not even encounter him,” he said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. “That’s what I’m praying for anyway.”

“Me too,” I said, sending up a prayer that all would be well. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Here goes,” he said with a wink.

A meadow appeared all around me. I could still feel myself sitting with Adrian in the clearing, but when I looked around I saw that I was standing in an open field. The grass was soft and cool on my bare feet. Even though he wasn’t in the meadow with me, Adrian’s gentle breeze moved across my skin, filling me with his soothing presence.

The sun blazed high in the sky, as bright as midday. Across the meadow a small stand of trees swayed in the gentle wind. As I watched their movement, a figure materialized in front of them. Almost translucent at first, the colors began to come into focus, details became visible, and before I could blink, my father was there, walking across the meadow toward me.

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breath. My heart pounded and my mind raced. After all these months. All the hurt and all the guilt. He was here.

And he was smiling.

I wanted to weep, both for the joy of seeing him again and the sadness of knowing this was the very last time. How could I be given this gift but have it yanked away so quickly.

Yet still, I was so very grateful.

“Dad,” I managed, before I broke into sobs and ran into his arms.

His arms pulled me in, his embrace warm and familiar. I wanted to stay there forever. Suddenly it didn’t matter what he’d done or how badly I’d wanted to hate him. Regardless of all that, he was my dad, and I loved him.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, burying my face in chest and struggling to get a hold of myself. “All those awful things I said. I didn’t mean them.”

“I know that, sweetheart.” He pulled back and tilted my face up to his. “I always knew that.”

“Dad, I don’t have much time here.”

“I know that, too,” he said, his eyes softening. “Give Adrian my thanks for giving us this moment.”

“I forgive you, Dad,” I blurted, needing to say it worse than I needed to take my next breath. “For everything. I forgive you. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course, Zoe.” He wrapped his arms around me again, placing a kiss on my temple the way he always used to. “Of course.”

“I miss you so much.”

“I’ve heard that you have someone new to help you with your math homework.”

I felt the rumble of his laughter as he held me and my heart was simultaneously joyful and broken.

“You’re a wonderful young lady, sweetheart,” he said. “And you’re going to be an amazing woman. I’ll be watching the whole time.”

“I can’t believe this is the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“Be glad we had this time,” he squeezed me tighter. “I am. I’ll be with you every moment.”

He stepped back, smiling at me as his form began to fade away.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, fading more with each second. “And I love you so much.”

“I love you, Dad.”

He smiled once more, and then he was gone.

Falling to my knees I gave over to the torrent of tears that had never truly subsided. Adrian waited for me in the clearing, and though I could feel his presence, I knew he was giving me this moment to grieve.

Sadness coursed through me. The kind of sadness I hadn’t allowed myself when Dad died. The natural sadness that followed the death of a loved one, rather than the bitter, toxic kind I’d wallowed in at the time. But even through the sadness, I felt the unburdening of my spirit, the heaviness being replaced by a lightness that I’d not known in months.

Adrian’s words returned to me then.
You forgive for yourself, for your own well-being. Love can’t grow where bitterness takes root.

He’d been right. I felt love begin to fill the emptiness that had ached inside me for so long. Love for my dad. For mom. For Adrian. The love had been there all along, but my guilt and hatred had hidden it.

Now it had room to grow.

Though I knew a part of me would always be sad for the loss of my father, I knew I was ready to return to Adrian and begin the process of going on with life the way Dad wanted me to. The way
I
wanted to.

I got back on my feet and took a deep breath. Just as I was about to ask Adrian to bring me back a loud cracking noise thundered through the meadow.

I looked around, confused and uncertain, and noticed the earth splitting in front of my feet. I jumped backward, afraid that the hole in the ground would swallow me. The deafening splintering continued, growing so loud I covered my ears and slammed my eyes shut.

“Zoe,” said a familiar voice.

Opening my eyes, I saw that what had been a peaceful, serene meadow was now a wide chasm, so deep the bottom could not be seen. Jagged edges of the ground jutted out in front of me, and I wondered if hell was what lay at the bottom of the pit.

A movement to my right caught my eye, and I turned to see the source of the voice, shock slamming me in the chest.

“Courtney?”

H
ow could she be here? Though everything about her seemed normal, a dark and ominous shadow darkened her form.

“In body, yes,” she replied in a voice that sounded like hers, but was somehow different, more sinister. “In spirit, not so much. I am the
Inhabiter
.”

Just as Adrian told me, I realized immediately that this was not part of what he was showing me. Not part of his plan. Though I could no longer see the clearing, I reached back into my mind, pictured the two of us as I knew we were, sitting on the blanket holding hands. Focusing on the physical sensations, I felt his hands grip mine, tight and secure. His strength seeped into me, and I found the fortitude to continue.

“Who are you?” I breathed, not exactly sure if I wanted an answer.

“You know who I am!” This time, the voice that roared from Courtney’s throat was not hers, and a chill ran up my spine. “I’m the one who can give you your father back.”

My heart lurched then seemed to stop altogether. What this
inhabiter
said was not possible. My father was dead. If there was a way to bring him back, Adrian would’ve told me.

“Your little
Messenger
didn’t tell you that, did he?” the voice inside Courtney sneered. “Of course he didn’t. His kind aren’t ones to offer you what you actually want.”

Could it be true? My mind raced with the possibility and I struggled to maintain my balance.

“All you have to do is wish it,” the
inhabiter
said, the voice now a smooth, inviting tone. “Just say the words, and I can make it happen.”

Pictures bombarded my mind. Dad at my graduation. Dad walking me down the aisle at my wedding. Dad with my children, delighting in being a grandfather. Dad reunited with Mom, living their golden years together.

Was it really true? Could I have those things?

“Zoe.” Adrian appeared on my left, a bright, glowing light surrounding him, so different from the shadows that darkened Courtney’s presence. His eyes fixed on me with an intensity I’d never seen.

“Is this true?” I whispered.

“In a way, yes.” He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “To accomplish it time would have to be manipulated and changed. I’ve told you that is a tricky thing, something we use sparingly and only for the good of the person we’re helping. In the hands of one working from the opposite side, the ramifications would be unthinkable.”

“How could it be bad to have my father back?” I asked, my voice pleading and desperate.

“It’s not that simple,” Adrian said.

“But it is,” hissed the voice of whatever was inside Courtney. “Say the words and it will be so.”

My father took form again, across the chasm from me. He looked entirely different than before, this time dressed in black from head to toe.

“I can come back to you,” his voice called to me. Though he was far away, I could hear him as if he stood right next to me. “Say the words and time will return to the day of my death, except I will not die. The accident that took my life will not occur.”

His voice sounded different.
Off
somehow. It reminded me of when he’d laughed at me in the school bathroom, while I sat devastated and broken.

Courtney or whoever she was at this moment stepped toward me. “This weak-minded child has been
inhabited,
to offer you this chance.”

I looked at Adrian and begged with my eyes for him to tell me something that made sense. Somewhere in my mind I knew that the
inhabiter
was pure evil, but how could I say no to the very thing my heart desired? Would I ever recover from it? Or would I live with a new kind of guilt for the rest of my life?

“Look at him,” he said, point across the chasm to the figure of my father. “Really look at him. You’ve seen him before. In the bathroom and again at Deke’s.” Stepping so close our noses practically touched, Adrian whispered to me in a voice so impassioned that I couldn’t have taken my eyes from him if I tried. “If you do this, everything since that day will be erased.
Everything.
Your father will still be alive, but nothing that’s happened since then will be the same. The forgiveness you worked so hard for? Gone. The mend in the relationship with your Mom? Evaporated. Me? I will never have come to Rison. You won’t remember me. You’ll never even have known me.” His eyes became glassy with unshed tears as he whispered his next words. “But I will
always
remember you.”