Dusk (Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (21 page)

My insides seemed to tear in half, ripping and shredding my soul in the process. Choose my father and lose Adrian? Choose Adrian and give up the chance to have my dad back? How could I make a choice like this? The thought of either caused more pain than I’d ever imagined was possible.

Tears streamed down my face, the questions playing relentlessly in my mind. I couldn’t even give voice to the pain blazing inside me.

“My heart wants to beg you not to do this, not to leave me,” he said, blinking in an unsuccessful attempt to keep the tears from falling. “But I won’t play with your emotions that way. I can only tell you, in as unselfish a way as I know how, that manipulating time this way can have far reaching consequences. Repercussions that can echo forever, and completely change the fabric of our existence.”

“Don’t let him fool you.” My father’s voice echoed from across the chasm, booming in my ears and zinging along my nerves. “His intentions are not honorable. He only wants you for himself.”

Something wasn’t right. The voice was my dad’s, but the words didn’t sound like him, and the motivation behind them felt wrong.

“Remember what I told you, Zoe,” Adrian said. “The
inhabiter
deceives.”

I closed my eyes, all at once unable to process one more thought. Somewhere in all this chaos was the truth. I just had to find it.

“Zoe, listen closely.” My father’s voice. Not the one from the other side of the massive crack in the ground, but the one I’d just heard as we said our last goodbye. His words were as clear as anything I’d ever heard, except that I wasn’t hearing them. They were in my head, as if he could somehow communicate with me in thought.

“Keep your eyes closed and don’t say anything,” he said. “Don’t let them know I’m talking to you. That
thing
inside Courtney is evil. You have to know that. And it isn’t telling you the whole truth. Adrian has warned you about the dangers of manipulating time. It’s so much worse than either of you could imagine. I’ve seen the possibilities, Zoe. That projection of me standing across the chasm from you? That’s the me that would return. Surely you can see he’s not the same. And think back on the day I died, before you found out I was gone. Do you remember how you felt about me? You were so angry, rightfully so.
That’s
what you’d go back to. You’d still be furious with me, simmering with all that anger and disgust. You’d be right back where you started. So would your mother. And how long do you think it would take you to forgive me if I was like that imitation over there? Could you ever? Would I even try to earn your forgiveness as that egotistical imposter? What would happen to you if I treated you with callousness and never earned your forgiveness? What would become of you if you had to live with that hatred for the rest of your life?
That’s
what the
inhabiter
wants. He wants you to trade your life for what you
think
you want most.”

Dad’s voice fell silent but I could still feel him there, inside my mind. Trying to sort through all that was swirling in my brain, I did what he said and thought back to the day he died. I’d woken that morning the same way I had each morning since he split our family apart with his infidelity. Angry and hostile, lashing out at anyone and anything. Swearing I’d never forgive him. Not caring about a single thing in my life.

If I returned to
that
, would I ever move beyond it? Especially if Dad was right and the version of him in all black standing on the other side of the chasm was the one who came back? And could I really send Mom back to that place of such betrayal and devastation?

“I’m not telling you my death was designed for some great purpose. That’s not how things work. It wasn’t a pre-planned destiny for me to die and leave you fatherless, with all this baggage to overcome.” Dad’s voice spoke again to the thoughts racing through my mind. “But I’ve seen that purpose can be given to even the worst of circumstances and that good can come from things that began as mistakes. That’s how good Adrian’s Boss is. Tell the
inhabiter
that you will not change this destiny. It’s the right thing to do.”

Doubt fled.
This
was my father. The one who would sacrifice his own life for my happiness and well-being. When it mattered most, Dad had been there for me, to help me make the most important decision of my life.

Resolve filled me. Opening my eyes, I turned to Courtney’s form, stared into the eyes of the evil inside her, and spoke the words my dad had instructed.

“I will not change this destiny.”

T
hunder exploded in the meadow, and the imposter of my father disappeared in a burst of black smoke. The ground shifted violently beneath my feet, and I struggled to keep my balance as the enormous crack began to close.

Courtney’s form went limp and would’ve fallen to the ground had Adrian not appeared behind her. He grabbed her and flashed immediately out of view, both of them vanishing from the meadow which was quickly returning to the way it had looked when the vision began.

Seconds later, Adrian returned as the last of the chasm closed, the ground looking like nothing had ever disturbed it.

“I took her home,” he said. “She won’t remember any of this.”

I nodded, still in shock from the events that just took place. He stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around me, holding so tight I could barely breathe.

Not that I wanted to. At this moment, I needed him to hold me more than I needed to take in oxygen.

A rustling in the grass beside us caught our attention. We both looked up, though his arms did not leave me, and watched as my father took form in front of us.

He smiled at me, the kind of smile that tells a daughter’s heart all she needs to know about her father’s love. To Adrian he nodded, as if to say he approved.

“Thank you,” Adrian whispered, his voice stumbling over the words as emotion got the better of him. “I’ll always take care of her. I promise.”

“You saved me, Dad,” I said, drawing his gaze back to me. “I love you.”

He smiled again and lifted his hand to wave, as his form began to shimmer and dissipate. I waved back as I watched him disappear. I knew it was the last time.

In the next moment, Adrian and I were back in the clearing, the meadow and all that it had contained erased from my sight. I was in his lap, plastered against him, as our arms tangled in our attempt to stay close. The tiniest strip of orange light glowed at the horizon, reflecting in the water of the creek.

I had no idea what to do or how to proceed. I felt too much to say anything.

Adrian’s hands moved to my face, cupping my cheeks and bringing me eye-to-eye with him.

“You were so strong,” he said, kissing my forehead then both cheeks. “So brave.”

His lips found mine, fierce and intense, blazing with the emotion of all we’d just experienced.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, pulling back to look at me once again. “And I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” It was all I could mutter after he’d just stolen my breath with that kiss.

“I should’ve done more to warn you,” he said. “Should’ve told you how evil could inhabit someone familiar.”

“How could you have known what would happen?” I whispered, finally finding the rest of my voice.

He shook his head. “And I should’ve gone to the meadow with you in the first place. I wanted to give you privacy, but I should’ve gone. I should’ve been more careful. I knew something like this was possible.”

He was blaming himself, allowing guilt to creep in. I knew first hand the damage that could do.

“Stop this,” I ordered, taking his face in my hands the same way he’d done to me. “You know how you’ve been telling me for weeks that I’ve got to get over all this guilt and forgive myself? Well, don’t you fall into that same trap.”

“But –”

I stopped him with a finger on his lips. “You gave me what I thought I’d never have. Closure with my dad. Yes, the
inhabiter
tried to sway me, but you were there, along with my dad, to help me make the right choice.”

I pressed a soft kiss to his lips, bringing tenderness to a moment that had become unbearably intense. “And you succeeded. Look around us. Look at me.”

His blue eyes fastened on mine, a lock of beautiful ebony hair falling across his forehead, and what lived and breathed inside me for him grew inexplicably deeper.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, his voice throaty and gruff. “If I’d lost you –”

“You didn’t,” I said. “I’m here to stay.”

“I was so afraid I’d fail you.”

“Your first assignment was a success.” I tilted my head and grinned at him.

“You know you’re more than an assignment,” he said, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. “So much more.”

“Are you going to get a new assignment now?”

“I haven’t been given anything yet, so I figure I’m staying put. At least for a while.”

“Do you need a partner?” I asked, my voice coy even though I desperately wanted him to say yes.

“I’ll always need you.” He kissed me, his lips slow and soft, completely unhurried. “Always.”

I
t seemed my first class would never be over. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to hurry up and end or to drag on forever. Second period was the senior class ceremony in the auditorium, and I couldn’t decide how to feel about it.

The results of student government elections had been tabulated. Even though I was running unopposed for class secretary, I’d still be announced, along with the others who’d been elected to class offices, in front of the entire senior class.

Inside I felt solid and renewed, but as I remembered the way I’d spilled my guts during my speech, I couldn’t help but be a bit nervous about getting up in front of everyone again.

“Stop fidgeting,” Vivian whispered. “It’s all going to be fine.”

I smiled, grateful all over again for my reconciled friendship with Viv. I was just about to respond when the intercom beeped.

“Faculty, students,” came Principal Burton’s voice. “We are now under lockdown procedure. There is no emergency, but students should remain in classrooms and all doors should be locked until this lockdown is over. Thank you.”

I cut my eyes toward Viv.

“Drug dogs,” she whispered.

I nodded, figuring she was right.

Once or twice every school year, law enforcement officials brought drug-sniffing dogs into the school. Students never knew when they were coming, and we always went into lockdown mode so that no one had a chance to run to their locker, grab their stash, and flush it down the toilet.

Through the small, rectangular window on the door I caught a glimpse of a small group of people walking down the hall. Other students noticed as well, which prompted the whispering and speculating to begin.

“Let’s get back to work,” Mrs. Harvey instructed. “I’m sure we’re all aware of the reason for the lockdown, but you still have an assignment to complete.”

With nothing to do but go on about business, I turned my attention toward my writing assignment and tried not to totally stress out about the student government ceremony next period.

Mrs. Harvey was cool about letting us have our cell phones on our desks, as long as we did our work instead of wasting time. As I continued writing about the nature of Lennie and George’s friendship in
Of Mice and Men,
I kept up with the time by glancing at my phone. Counting the minutes until the ceremony was stupid, but I couldn’t help myself.

The flash of an incoming text caught my eye and I looked at my screen.

Adrian.

Hope the lockdown doesn’t cut into next period. Anxious to see you accept your student gov’t office.

Smiling, I considered replying, but thought better of it as Mrs. Harvey made her way down my row in her normal classroom patrol.

I was just putting the finishing touches on my essay when the intercom beep sounded again.

“The lockdown is now over,” Principal Burton said. “At the end of first period, all seniors should report to the auditorium so that we may begin the student government assembly as quickly as possible.”