Dusk (Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (5 page)

“A
re you going to let me read the texts?” Viv asked, voice singing with excitement. She hadn’t even said hello. Just ambushed me at the locker Monday morning and started in immediately on the fact that Adrian and I had been texting most of the weekend.

Because, yes, I’d texted her Friday night and told her about my Pre-Cal tutor, and the fact that he’d wanted my number. I remembered enough of my pre-family-crisis life to know that there was some sort of rule that said girls talked about boys. Although, Viv hadn’t shared anything about Brett yet, but that was going to change in a matter of moments if I had anything to say about it.

“There’s nothing scandalous or earth-shattering in there,” I said. “Just a lot of stuff about helping Ms. Turner with the wedding cake, and a few things about his parents.”

That much was the truth. We hadn’t shared any great secrets during our text exchange, but Adrian had been quick with the replies and quite funny as he described the goings-on at the wedding reception. And he’d continued to text on Sunday after church. So even though I hadn’t really learned any more about him – other than that he
did
keep his word – I’d become pretty comfortable talking to him.

“So where are his parents?”

Together, we turned to head for homeroom.

“Budapest,” I answered, lowering my voice. I didn’t want any of this overheard and making its way back to Nikki. She didn’t need another reason to hate me. “His dad is teaching English over there.”

“That’s so exotic!”

“Let’s talk about you and Brett Martin,” I whispered, nudging her in the shoulder. “I saw you two in the hall on Friday. Why didn’t you tell me you had something going on with him?”

“Because I’m not sure there is.” Viv blushed a bright red and giggled. “But I really want there to be.”

“When did this start?” I asked. Talking boys with Viv felt both good and weird. Good, because boy talk was normal and I’d had way too little normal lately. Weird, because part of me still felt I didn’t deserve
normal
.

“A couple of weeks ago. We ran into each other at the community picnic and just started talking.”

“Nice,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows at her. “He’s always seemed like a great guy.”

“He is,” she sighed, a dreamy smile on her face. “I keep hoping he’ll ask me out, but he hasn’t yet.”

“He hasn’t made any secret about your
friendship,
” I said, emphasizing the last word. “He was smiling at you like a goofy kid the other day.”

“And you spent the weekend texting with the hot new biker guy!”

As we neared our homeroom, I decided we should put a hold on the conversation. “Let’s talk about this later. Don’t want anybody overhearing all this girl talk.” I nodded toward the group of kids gathered around the doorway.

Viv got the hint, and as we stepped into class all talk of boys ceased until a safer moment presented itself.

*     *     *

I dreaded talking to Mr. Austin about student government elections, but I knew I had to. After class, I forced myself to approach him.

He shuffled a stack of papers on his desk into a neat pile then closed them in a file folder. He looked up as he saw me approach, and I decided to just spit it out.

“I can’t run for president again.”

It was kind of like ripping a bandage off you skin all at once for the sake of getting it over with. It stung for a bit, but was better than prolonging the inevitable.

He nodded, like he’d been expecting it. “Care to tell me why?”

“Too soon,” I said. “After everything, I just can’t imagine being in the spotlight.”

“I understand you need some time,” he replied.

A lump formed in my throat, both because of Mr. Austin’s kindness, and the fact that he had no idea exactly
why
I needed time.

“The deadline is in two weeks.” He pointed toward the student government poster. “You’ve got some time to consider. Just give it some more thought.”

I couldn’t imagine a scenario when I’d feel comfortable in front of people, the way the class president role required, but I nodded anyway, because I didn’t want Mr. Austin to be too disappointed.

Vivian hadn’t waited for me. I’d told her to go on, since I needed a moment to talk to Mr. Austin. When I stepped into the hallway a few kids remained, wrapping things up before leaving for the day. One stop at my locker and I’d be ready to go.

“You sure weren’t thinking about running for office when you met up with us that first time.” Nikki’s voice came from behind me, just as I was throwing my backpack over one shoulder. “Or the second or third time. All you cared about was getting smashed.”

Apparently they’d eavesdropped on my conversation with Mr. Austin. Perfect. However, Nikki was sort of right. Maybe if I acknowledged that she’d go away.

“You’re right.” I shut my locker with more force than necessary. “I didn’t care about anything but forgetting.”

“And you were all too happy to let Nikki buy the liquor and drive you around,” Courtney sneered.

Ironic, that Courtney would accuse me of taking advantage of Nikki, and all the resources her stinking rich horse-trainer dad could provide, when Courtney herself was the original coattail rider. The fact that Courtney was the daughter of a single mom who jumped from man to man and didn’t care enough about herself or her daughter to stay clean and sober was not what made Courtney trashy. It was the way she super-glued herself to Nikki in order to maintain her social status. In the crazy, backwards way of obtaining popularity in high school, Courtney would’ve been nothing without Nikki.

On the other hand, Nikki was a real bitch who thought her rich parents could get her anything. Or
out
of anything. Like drunk driving charges.

“And wouldn’t the voting public like to know that the class president spent the summer getting totally wasted?” And she just proved my point. “Maybe we should just let that secret out.”

“If you listened in on my conversation with Mr. Austin, you already know I’m not running for president again,” I said.

“Still it would be quite the scandal,” Nikki suggested.

“Yeah.” This from Courtney. She was
so
brilliant.

“Why do you two want to torture me over this?” I pushed away from my locker and stepped away. “I did not abandon you on purpose, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be sorry I escaped the fallout. Both of you would’ve done the same. Even if I’d gotten caught with you, you’d still be in the same trouble you are now. I wasn’t driving. I didn’t wreck the car, and I didn’t have weed on me. That night was a wake-up call for me. It should be for you, too. The charges could’ve been even worse, or we could’ve all been dead.”

“Whatever.” Wow. Another intelligent response from Courtney. “You’ll regret skipping out on us.”

Time for this to end. And I would end it on my terms. I would have the last word this time.

“You drove drunk.” I pointed at Nikki. “And you had marijuana in your purse.” I pointed at Courtney. “Both of you just suck it up and deal with it. And leave me the hell alone.”

Nikki was closest to me, so I shoved her hard with my shoulder as I pushed past, leaving them in the hall while I made my way to the front sidewalk.

My phone buzzed just as I caught sight of my mom in the line of cars. A text from Adrian. I clicked to open it.

Hey Zoe. You ok?

Glancing toward the parking lot, I saw him standing next to his motorcycle. Had he waited for me? Or worse, had he overheard the confrontation with Nikki and Courtney?

I texted back.

Fine.

I watched him read the message, and sent him a small wave when he looked back up at me. He nodded and smiled, and a sense of comfort flooded me. He seemed
so
familiar, like I’d known him for years? How did he happen to show up or text at just the right moments?

As Mom and I pulled out of the school, another text arrived.

Call me if Pre-Cal gives you trouble.

My heart did a flip in my chest.

Sure.

I
managed my homework with only a couple of texts to Adrian. I really wanted him to come over, Pre-Cal or no, but I didn’t want to come across as desperate. I was also trying very hard to keep all things Adrian in the proper perspective.

Trying and failing miserably. Because the truth was, I was as taken with him as any girl had ever been with a boy.

Mom came home at her regular time and busied herself in the kitchen, while I sat on the couch with my cell phone, willing it to flash with an incoming text, and forcing myself to resist the urge to text him first.

On the mantle above the fireplace, the last family photo of my mom, dad, and me stared down at me. I rarely looked at it, instead choosing to forget about it. But in quiet moments like these, it was there, reminding me, mocking me, showing me all I’d lost, pointing out all my mistakes. On the lamp stand next to the sofa sat the only other picture of my dad still displayed in the house. I was four years old, and Dad and I were flying a kite together. Mom had removed the other pictures after the shit hit the fan, but she said she thought it was important to keep these two out, so that we wouldn’t forget that things had once been very, very good.

Yeah right. All I was remembering these days were the last few months. And they’d sucked. Big time.

“Have you met Mrs. Turner’s nephew?” Mom’s voice interrupted my gloom and doom.

“Adrian?”

“Is that his name?” she asked. “I guess if you know that you must’ve met him.”

I nodded. “He’s helped me with my Pre-Cal homework.”

“That’s nice.” Mom sat down on the couch with me, in that gesture that said she was about to open the lines of communication.

I stared at the aged blue upholstery of the sofa and resisted the urge to groan out loud. I did not want to have a heart to heart.

“I guess student government elections will be starting up soon,” she said. “That ought to keep you busy for a while.”

“I’m not running.” Closing my eyes, I did my best to prepare for the onslaught of questions.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want all that attention. I can’t handle it right now.” I still had not looked up from the couch cushions.

She didn’t immediately respond. I heard her take a deep breath, like she was gathering thoughts with which to berate me. I turned my cell phone over and over in my hand, wishing it would ring and give me an excuse to stop this conversation. I just didn’t have the ability to make small talk – or meaningful dialogue – with my mom.

“Zoe, you can’t hide forever.”

I didn’t know why the hell not. I said nothing, hoping she’d get the hint that I didn’t want to talk. No such luck.

“What happened with your father happened,” she said. “And it was awful. But you have to go on with your life sweetheart.”

I didn’t want to do this. Didn’t want to talk about this. Didn’t want to argue with my mother. Could she please just leave it alone?

My non-response did not deter her. She plowed right on. “He’d want you to.”

“Move on?” I snapped. “Maybe you can. You’d already separated. You’d already removed him from your life. I didn’t get that luxury.”

“Luxury?” Mom sounded incredulous. “Zoe, it wasn’t…”

“Do you know how bad I wished I could divorce him the way you could?”

“We hadn’t decided to divorce. We were just…”

But I didn’t let her speak. I barreled on. “You have no idea what it’s like to know that I wanted him gone from my life, but knowing I could never get rid of him. I
hated
him. I wished I’d never have to see him again! And then to have that actually happen?”

“Zoe, I’m so sorry.” Maybe she was sorry for pushing the issue. Maybe she was just sorry about the shitstorm that had rained all over our family. Either way, it looked like she finally got the point.

“Don’t lecture me about moving on with my life.” I managed to lower my voice enough that I wasn’t yelling anymore.

“I know this is complicated for you,” Mom whispered. “I just want to help.

“Then just stay out of my head.” I headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk.” I said. “I need some space.”

She didn’t try to stop me.

*     *     *

I’d always been glad that the paddocks of Bryton Farms were an easy walk from my house. The sight of the horses calmed me. The earthy smell of the grass sometimes helped put things in perspective. I leaned against a fence, gazing out toward a beautiful chestnut stallion, wishing I could think of nothing besides the gentle giant now strolling in the field.

The exchange with my mom still loomed heavy in my mind, and putting space between us hadn’t helped much. She wanted to help – I knew that – but I resented her interference just the same.

The rumble of a motor sounded in the distance. From the corner of my eye I caught sight of a shiny black motorcycle glinting as it topped a small rise in the road. Somehow I wasn’t surprised. Just one more example of Adrian’s uncanny ability to show up at the perfect time.

I stayed where I was, leaned against the fence, not even turning around as he pulled the bike to a stop. Happy as I was to see him, it wouldn’t do to act too excited, because that would give too much away. Plus, excitement was just not in my mood profile at the moment.