Edge of the Past (17 page)

I made a swift turn toward the small office off the foyer and poked my head around the doorway. “Hey, Dad.”

He looked up from the fat textbook he was reading, and his pale blue eyes lit up. “Hey, I was hoping you’d come to dinner.”

I met him behind his large mahogany desk and soaked in his extra-long hug. When we broke apart, I leaned against the desk. “Mom said dinner’s in an hour.”

“How’s the dress looking?” he asked.

“It’s done. Louann did an amazing job.”

Dad patted my hand. “I don’t know how I’m going to walk you down the aisle without getting emotional.”

The upbeat tune on the stereo faded away, and “I’ll Be Seeing You” began. The slow romantic song was one of my favorites from the era, but as I listened to the lyrics now, they reminded me of Sergei and Elena, seeing each other in those familiar places in Moscow. Tears welled in my eyes, and I dipped my head.

“I, umm, I’ll let you get back to work,” I croaked, scooting away from the desk.

“Shoot, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Dad said.

“It’s just been one of those nights. Emotional bride-to-be, you know?” I pretended to laugh it off and then snuck out before Dad could question me.

In the kitchen, Mom was crushing cloves of garlic on her butcher block chopping board. I climbed onto the stool next to the island and watched her rub the garlic over slices of ciabatta bread. So many times I’d sat in that seat while Mom cooked and dished out advice. But this might be one time my problems were beyond solving.

“Have you told Sergei your concerns about Liza and Elena moving here?” Mom asked.

I traced my finger between the squares of the tile counter. “No.”

“You need to talk about this with him.”

“I know, but when I think about my concerns, they just sound so selfish. Is being afraid of all the changes or wanting Sergei all to myself really a valid reason to keep Liza away from him?”

Mom wiped her hands on a dishrag “Any hesitation, any doubts you might have, you can’t ignore them. You have to be honest with him.”

“I don’t know what to tell him. I mean, if Sergei
didn’t
want his daughter in his life, he wouldn’t be a man I’d want to marry. But he’s so consumed with being a father to Liza that sometimes I wonder…” I stopped tracing and rested my head on my hand. “He says he still wants a future with me, but he has other priorities now, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not one of his top ones.”

“How does Elena play into this?” Mom asked. “Do you think there’s anything unresolved between her and Sergei?”

“I think he still feels the need to take care of her. Old habits die hard,” I muttered.

“He probably feels guilty that he couldn’t take care of her when she needed him the most,” Mom said.

I raised my head to look at Mom as a sobering thought accosted me. What if this was about more than Sergei making up for lost time with Liza? What if it was also Sergei’s chance to have the life with Elena that was denied by her father? I’d thought I was Sergei’s destiny and his mistakes had served a purpose – to lead him to me. But maybe fate had a different plan all along.

Chapter Sixteen

The ice lay before me like a blank canvas, ready for me to create the program I’d been imagining the past few days. Skating around my training mates, I stopped at the center of the rink and waited for my CD to begin playing. I’d finished my usual routine for the day but had stayed on the ice to work on the show program. Liza was also still practicing, and Sergei watched us both from behind the boards.

Every time I listened to the music, I found more nuances to explore. I flew across the ice, putting together the steps I’d envisioned and adding small movements to accentuate the highs and lows of the piece. Everything was so natural and easy, and I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom, like I was opening up and letting go of every emotion inside me.

As the music ended, I released a long breath and stayed in my final pose. My skin tingled with invigoration. I hadn’t expected to be so energized, so inspired. The only question was if I’d feel the same once the spotlight came on.

I cooled down and skated over to Sergei, whose eyes followed me with an admiring glow.

“That was beautiful. What’s the music?”

“’The Crisis,’” I stated in a clear voice.

He turned pensive as he appeared to recognize the meaning behind my song choice. Sliding back into a slow smile, he said, “You’re going to be the highlight of the show.”

“If I don’t have a panic attack before I skate.”

“You won’t.” Sergei leaned forward on the boards and gave me one of his pep-talk stares that always grabbed my attention. “You’ll be strong and confident and ready to show everyone this amazing program.”

I smiled, feeling more excited about debuting my creation. Not wanting to leave the ice just yet, I set off on another round of easy stroking. Liza crossed over from the opposite side of the rink and fell in step with me.

“I love your program,” she said. “You have some really cool moves.”

“I thought I’d play around with some things I don’t get to do with Chris.”

“Can you teach me how to do that spiral when you’re in a split?”

“The Charlotte? Sure. Can you do a back spiral well?”

“Uh-huh,” Liza answered quickly and bobbed her head up and down.

“Well, you balance your weight the same, on the ball of your foot, and you have to make sure your balance doesn’t shift forward when you move into the split position.”

“Got it.”

I performed the move slowly and explained each step before I let her try the split while stationary. When she’d demonstrated her ability to balance, I gave her the okay to try the move in motion.

Liza was off and gliding before I could say another word. I chased after her and circled around as she worked up speed and skated in reverse into a regular back spiral, extending her left leg above her hip. She leaned forward and lifted her leg higher, stretching almost into a complete split. I raised my hands to applaud but froze when Liza’s momentum took her too far forward. Her stomach struck the ice first, followed by her chin. She lay sprawled on the cold surface, gasping for air.

My heart leapt into my throat, and I sprinted over to Liza like a speed skater, kicking up a shower of ice when I braked beside her. Kneeling next to Liza’s head, I slid my hand under her chin, and warm, sticky liquid touched my cold fingers. She was bleeding.

I put my other hand on her back as her breathing slowly returned to a normal pace. “Is anything besides your chin hurt?”

She gave me a slight head shake. Meanwhile, Sergei had made a quick shuffle across the ice in his loafers. He squatted on Liza’s other side and caressed her hair.

“Can you sit up?” he asked, taking one of her tiny hands.

I kept my fingers cupped under Liza’s chin as she rose to her knees, while Sergei reached inside his jacket pocket and extracted a packet of tissues. I pressed one to Liza’s wound and she winced.

“Let’s see how bad the cut is.” Sergei peeked under the tissue as Liza tilted her head back, revealing a ragged gash. “Doesn’t look too bad. Might need just a few stitches.”

I recognized the tone of voice he used. It was his I’m-worried-but-I’m-not-going-to-let-the-kid-know tone that he used when one of his students took a bad spill. And in this instance, he sounded like he was trying extra hard to cover up his emotions.

“Liza!” Elena ran up to the boards, out of breath. “I watch upstairs. You are hurt?”

“I’m okay,” she said in a small, shaky voice but her eyes watered with tears.

Elena walked along the boards and reached out to Liza as soon as we stepped off the ice. “So much blood,” she cried, nudging herself between Liza and me.

“She’ll probably need just a couple of stitches,” Sergei said.

Elena zeroed her eyes on me. “Why you teach her that move? She have trouble with back spiral.”

I glanced at Liza, and she looked down at the concrete floor. “I asked her if she could do it well, and she said yes.”

“And you do not make her show you? Of course she tell you yes. She want to do everything you do.”

The freedom I’d enjoyed on the ice minutes earlier evaporated, and all the negative feelings twisted together again in my stomach. I backed further away from Elena, seeking space to breathe.

“It was an accident,” Sergei said.

“Accident which should not happen,” Elena snapped.

Liza sniffled as she kept her head down. Sergei pulled out a fresh tissue and held it to Liza’s chin while he glared at Elena. “We should get to the hospital. Em, can you handle Court and Mark’s lesson?”

“Sure,” I mumbled.

The three of them left the rink, and I dropped onto the first row of bleachers. With my head bent, I heard the click-clack of Courtney’s skate guards before I saw her.

“Is Liza okay?”

She sat next to me, and I straightened up. My eyes drifted to the spot on the ice where Liza had fallen. “She might need stitches.”

“Ick.” Courtney leaned over to retie her laces. “Are you still gonna have her birthday party tomorrow?”

“I would think so. Of course, her mother might have other ideas,” I muttered.

“I got her this really cute beach bag,” Courtney rattled on. “Since she’ll probably be here for summer.”

I jerked my head to face her. “Where’d you hear that?”

Courtney hesitated at the sharp tone of my question. “Liza said she heard Elena and Sergei talking about it. She said Sergei wants her and Elena to move here.”

Oh, man. Liza wasn’t supposed to hear that conversation.
“I don’t think Elena’s made a decision yet.”

“Well, I got the feeling Liza thinks it’s happening for sure,” Courtney said.

I looked at my palms and realized they still held traces of blood. After a quick search for my skate guards, I excused myself and walked carefully in my boots to the restroom.

While washing my hands, I glanced at myself in the mirror and sighed. I was so tired of seeing the weary, worried look in my eyes.

A piece of Sergei’s heart belonged to Liza now, and he wasn’t going to let Elena keep her in Russia without a fight. If I kept focusing on the negatives of the situation, I’d just make myself unhappier. I had to believe that Sergei and I would come through this stronger, just like we had after every storm we weathered. There were two options before me – I could continue to stress over the changes in my life or I could accept them and try to be the best stepmom possible.

The hot water stung my skin, and I rubbed my hands together, scrubbing them clean. It was time for a fresh outlook.

****

I placed my phone in my purse and turned to Aubrey. “Liza had to get five stitches, and she also has a mild concussion.”

“Oh, no.” Aubrey pulled open the door to the Cape Cod Mall. “I thought she just cut her chin.”

“Her head started hurting, so they checked it out.” My shoulders slumped as I followed Aubrey inside. “I never should’ve tried to teach her that move.”

“She said she could do the spiral.”

“I know, but…” I stopped at the entrance to the department store. “I shouldn’t have taken her word for it.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t let Elena get into your head.”

“I just feel so bad. Now Liza has to stay off the ice for a week, and she won’t be able to practice for the show.”

“Then we’ll have to make her party extra fun.” Aubrey linked her arm through mine. “First on the list – some fabulous gifts.”

We snaked through the store to the children’s section and flipped through the racks of tiny T-shirts, skirts, and dresses. Aubrey eyed a purple ruffled skirt. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pink,” I said, swiveling toward the display of bathing suits. “Courtney said she bought Liza a beach bag. What if I got her a suit? She could use it if she’s here this summer.”

“Is that definitely happening?”

I picked up a one-piece with three red hearts sewn together on the front. Running my fingers over the glittery design, I said, “It would mean the world to Sergei, so I’ve decided I’m going to try to make the best of the situation.”

“I doubt Elena will have the same attitude,” Aubrey said. “She’s all about the drama.”

“Is she? I hadn’t noticed,” I said dryly.

“Sergei owes you the most spectacular present ever. Something very sparkly.”

I didn’t want anything sparkly. I wanted normalcy.
Remember your new attitude
–
adapt to the changes.

I turned back to the racks and held up a pink polka-dotted bikini. “How cute is this?”

“Oh, you have to get that.” Aubrey grinned with approval. “And we can find some pink sunglasses to match.”

I laughed. “She’ll be a little fashionista.”

After we found a pair of sunglasses and had the two items gift-wrapped, we swung by the bookstore and picked up a couple of new mysteries I thought Liza might like. Sergei’s SUV was parked at my house when Aubrey and I returned, but only Liza was in the living room, reclined on the sofa and watching a cartoon on TV.

Aubrey reached for my shopping bags. “I’ll take these upstairs.”

“How’re you feeling?” I sat beside Liza. “Sergei said you have a concussion.”

“My headache’s better.” She lowered her gaze to the blanket covering her legs. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I wish you would’ve told me you weren’t totally comfortable with the spiral.”

“I can do it!” She lifted her head. “I was just going too fast.”

I spread my arm across the back of the couch and gave Liza a smile. “It’s okay if you’re still working on it. Once it gets really strong, I can show you the Charlotte again.”

Liza bit her lip and slid her knees up to her chest. “Elena said I can’t ask you for help with skating anymore.”

Heat tinged my face. Elena’s reaction wasn’t shocking, but it still disappointed me. A snarky response sat on the end of my tongue, and I ground my teeth together. I couldn’t say anything to Liza.
Make the best of the situation
, I reminded myself.

“Maybe she’ll change her mind. She was just really scared when you got hurt.” I looked toward the stairs. “Do you know where she and Sergei are?”