Edie Amelia and the Runcible River Fever (7 page)

C
heesy was waiting for Edie on the front steps of the Highland Fling Centre. She seemed agitated and was fiddling with her left plait. Edie had lost track of the Blank Marauder when her motor had momentarily faltered on Swift Street. She scrambled out of the pram and went up to Cheesy.

‘What took you?' said Cheesy.

‘I needed a few minutes to crack your code,' said Edie. ‘HFC?'

‘Highland Fling Centre,' Cheesy said, gesturing to the hall behind her.

‘ASAP?'

‘No explanation required, part of the common vernacular. Seeing as we are working on Operation Flan Plan, I thought it best to be covert,' said Cheesy. ‘Now, as much as I hate to admit it, you were right. My dad's up to something . . . I just don't know what. This fell out of the pocket of his jumpsuit.' She held up a scrunched envelope.

‘He was just at our house “borrowing” some sugar, you know,' said Edie, raising an eyebrow. ‘Quick. Give it here.'

Cheesy handed her the envelope, which had what looked like a shopping list scrawled on the back. Edie held it with her tweezers and examined it through her magnifying glass.

1000 p j s

BT

2+prop and O
₂
canisters

12 rolls gut

key

w'worm repell.

‘Dad's been in the basement,' Cheesy said. ‘I could hear the sewing machine going down there. He made a call and soon a dozen volunteers from the local Emergency Sewing Repairs Agency arrived in their van and Dad showed them down into the basement, telling Mum they were from the furniture removal company.'

‘I told you he was up to something,' said Edie.

‘Mum paid no attention to the bunch of bearded bikies, grannies and computer nerds traipsing down the stairs. Then I heard the sound of a dozen sewing machines going nonstop. Dad was upstairs, checking his watch, scratching himself, listening to all the radio reports about the Fever. He muttered something about a reward.'

‘What about all the people sewing?'

‘After an hour they all emerged coughing
and spluttering. Dad went down and came back up carrying something shortly after. It was in a big plastic bag with KEEP OFF written on the side. He put it in the car trailer—' Cheesy broke off, looking towards Mister Pants, who was waiting at the bottom of the steps. ‘Holy haggis. Is he wearing an eye patch under that bonnet? And what on
earth
have you done to my antique pram?'

‘I'm sorry about the outboard motor but I thought under the circumstances—'

‘No, no,' said Cheesy, ‘I
love
it. What a marvellous modification.'

Edie pinched herself on the wrist to check she wasn't dreaming. A month ago Cheesy would have thrown a pink fit about Edie laying a finger on her precious possessions.

‘So where's your dad now?' said Edie just as Mister gave a rare bark, his warning signal. She looked around just in time to catch the Blank Marauder parking his lawnmower in the bicycle bay and slipping through the Highland Fling Centre's fire-escape door.

‘Do you think the Blank Marauder's going to find whatever it is he's looking for here?' said Edie.

‘Pardon?' said Cheesy.

Edie started filling Cheesy in on everything that had happened at the vet's and afterwards, but soon their conversation was interrupted by a man wearing a name tag which read
Norbert McGuigan
.

‘Come on in,' he said, ‘the Mayor will be here any minute.'

‘Shh, boy,' said Edie, wrapping Mister in the floral cloth and using the bonnet to conceal his face. Until the Fever Dog was found, it seemed safer to keep him covered up, especially since the Mayor had ordered all dogs to be kept at home.

Inside the hall tartan flew and bagpipes bleated. Heels and toes tapped to the music. At once Edie knew where lots of the other pleather jumpsuits had found a home: on the members of the Highland Fling Society, many of whom seemed to be coughing. Edie, Cheesy and Mister Pants scurried through the dancers then huddled under a trestle
table covered with a Napier tartan cloth, upon which stood a large urn and a jar of tea bags.

‘Let's just watch a minute. I'm sure your dad will surface,' said Edie, surveying in wonderment the rainbow blur of pleather and rich red tartan. ‘They usually
all
wear kilts, not pleather all-in-ones,' said Cheesy.

A glamorous woman in a shimmering gold pleather jumpsuit stood near the stage where a microphone and lectern had been set up. She was surveying the scene around her and taking notes.

‘Look. That's Trudy Truelove from the
Bugle
,' said Edie. ‘She must be reporting on the Town Meeting.'

‘She's even more glamorous in real life,' said Cheesy.

‘What is that thing she's looking at?' Edie asked, pointing at a small round shield with a sharp steel spike projecting from its centre, smack bang in the middle of the dance floor.

‘It's a targe,' said Cheesy. ‘In the olden days, male warriors used to perform the
Highland fling around it after returning from battle. Part of the challenge of the dance was avoiding that spike,' she added.

‘As if the dance moves weren't hard enough,' said Edie. ‘Cheesy, did the spikes usually have notes attached to them?' The girls peered through the dancing feet to the targe. Sure enough, the spike did seem to have a piece of paper impaled upon it (which is just a dramatic way of saying the spike went right through its middle). Edie took her binoculars from her kit and had a closer look. There was writing on the
note but she couldn't make it out from that distance.

The music came to an end and the dancing stopped. Trudy Truelove walked towards the stage, pulled out a small recording device, spoke into it, then played it back as if to check it was working. Edie, Cheesy and Mister ducked when they saw a stampede of pleather and tartan coming their way.

‘Sidestep it, Chompster,' Edie said, grabbing her friend by the sleeve and Mister by his bonnet. ‘Let's take a closer look at that targe.'

‘I still can't see my dad,' said Cheesy, looking around.

‘Come on. Let's get that note,' said Edie. When she reached it, she removed it with her tweezers and read aloud.

A CATCH!

A WORLD RECORD!

A BREAKTHROUGH CURE!

FOLLOW ME.

RRV > RRFD > RRFDD

YOU'LL SOON SEE,

HC

‘May I see that, girls?'

Edie and Cheesy turned round. A tall woman wearing long robes, a puffy hat and a gold chain was standing right behind them trying to read over their shoulders.

‘You mustn't say no to the Mayor, now,' said one of the two policemen who stood behind her.

Edie surrendered the evidence after committing the details to memory.

The Mayor inspected the piece of paper and handed it to the police. After conferring with them, she walked briskly to the stage, took the microphone from its stand and gazed out at the townsfolk. Trudy Truelove clicked a button on her miniature recorder and flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

‘Attention, ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls and, er, baby,' said the Mayor.

Mister Pants snuffled.

‘Thank you all for coming to the Town Meeting and thank you to the Highland Fling Society for agreeing to host it in these trying times. I'm afraid we must now put an end to the entertainment. Sadly, the Fever crisis is escalating. One hundred more individuals have been hospitalised this afternoon and we have simply run out of beds, so our Chief Medical Officer has declared a complete lockdown in the city of Runcible in order to contain the problem. Until the Runcible River Fever Dog is captured and an effective treatment for the illness is developed, everyone must go home and stay indoors until further notice.'

The members of the Highland Fling Society began to panic and bolt for the exit, where they came face to face with the two policemen who stood before them with their arms crossed, shaking their heads.

‘Calm down, everybody,' urged the Mayor. ‘Before you leave, there is one final matter to attend to. A new piece of evidence concerning a world record and a Fever cure has just been uncovered. It is signed with
the initials HC. As a result, the police will be interviewing you all, very briefly, before you go home.'

The Blank Marauder sprang from behind the tea urn and ran to the fire escape. Not waiting to hear what the Mayor had to say next, the girls ran outside after him. Out on the footpath, they saw him trying in vain to kickstart his mower before abandoning it and bolting after what must have been the last 322 bus before the curfew came into effect. Its destination was Runcible River Valley.

The three adventurers huddled around the pram, watching the bus disappear. ‘Jump in,' said Edie. ‘We're going for a ride.'

A
lthough the motorised pram was weighed down by its three occupants, Edie managed to keep a tight tail on the bus. She could even see the Blank Marauder, who was sitting slumped on the back seat, his shoulders heaving. She wondered whether he might be crying.

They lurched to and fro as the pram made its winding descent on the deserted road into the valley. From behind the canopy the girls could see into the backyards of the houses which dotted the hillside. Lights shone from kitchen windows, and abandoned swimming pools and empty clothes lines could be glimpsed between the trees. The residents of Runcible Valley were shutting up shop for the night.

Suddenly a long, lonely howl echoed
around the valley and Edie heard someone shout, ‘It's the Fever Dog! Get inside!'