Eloisa James - Duchess by Night (13 page)

He was so angry at himself for knowing what Cope smel ed like that he stalked out of the room without another word.

Friendship in an Unexpected Place

S o have you been regaled by dancing girls yet? Vil iers was reclining in bed, looking as haggard as it was possible for someone so beautiful to look.

Harriet sat down. Its been a grave disappointment, but no one performed at breakfast. How are you feeling?

He grimaced. That pestilent Scottish doctor of Jemmas, Dr. Treglown, advised me not to travel and, though it pains me to admit it, he was right. More importantly, how is manhood treating you?

Being a man is exhausting, Harriet said with some feeling. My rear hurts from riding, and my arm hurts from rapier play, and al my other muscles are sympathetical y twanging as wel .

I gather that Strange took my dictate to turn you into a man seriously. Youd better watch out; hes likely to introduce you to a demi-rep this evening. Part of the training.

Its al very wel for you to laugh, Harriet said. Then she put on a lofty air. As it happens, I already have a lady friend interested in my company.

No! How I wish I could get out of this damned bed. Promise me you wont dismiss her, at least until I see you being wooed.

I ful y intend to avoid her.

That wont be easy, Vil iers said. Stranges house parties are surprisingly large and yet intimate. I didnt think youd visit me.

Harriet looked up. Why not?

You have every reason to hate me. He said it without any particular inflection. But there was much unspoken: the evening when he rejected her advances and dropped her out of his carriage in the middle of London, the fact that her husband committed suicide after losing to him at chess.

I did hate you. It was strangely restful to admit it. I spent a great deal of time brooding over revenge. It was easier to hate you than to accept that Benjamin chose to leave.

Chose to leave is an odd way of talking about suicide.

How else would you describe it?

He hesitated. He real y had amazing eyes, black as pitch.

You think suicide is cowardly, she said when he didnt speak immediately.

Am I wrong?

I thought that at first too. I raged at Benjamin the first year: for being such a coward, for not loving me enough, for caring so much about chess that he gave his life for it, for being such a fool. But then I started to think that cowardice is just a point of view.

The counterpoint to courage? His eyes were sympathetic but unconvinced.

Something like that. Benjamin cared most in the world for chess. I hated that fact while we were married, but it was true. Though he was always amiable, and was certainly fond of me in his own way.

Vil iers didnt say anything. Harriet made herself continue. But chess was his passion. And while he was very good at it, he wasnt the best. So lets imagine that he had been that wildly in love with meDont laugh! she said fiercely.

He raised an eyebrow, surprised. I havent the faintest impulse to laugh.

If he had been madly in love with me, or some other woman, and had kil ed himself because he failed to win her, would you cal him a coward?

Merely a fool, he said flatly.

Perhaps. Harriet couldnt think where this argument was taking her. But not a coward, she persisted.

It would have to be a grand passion, a love so great it was intolerable to live without the other person.

Yes, and everyone would have felt the grief along with him. Whereas if a person commits suicide for love of something other than a woman, no one shares their grief.

I count myself lucky to have escaped such a passion, Vil iers said. I can picture it, but I havent been afflicted by it. Have you?

I Harriet stopped. I loved Benjamin. He was the first man to pay me any attention.

Then hes not quite the fool I thought, Vil iers said, more gently.

You neednt.

Neednt what?

Give me that practiced flummery youre so good at. We both know who I am, and exactly how attractive I am to men. Not to mention the fact that I am now wearing breeches.

Dont underestimate yourself, he said. Nor your breeches. Your derrière is a pleasure even for me to behold and believe me, my wish to bed a woman is at an lifetime low.

You never wished to bed me, she pointed out.

I actual y did, Vil iers said thoughtful y. When you kissed me, years ago, I was quite happy to reciprocate. But the fact that Benjamin was my friend leaped into my mind and I admit it took the pleasure out of it.

I cant believe I did that, Harriet said miserably. I would have loathed myself if I had been unfaithful. I real y did love him.

Rage, I expect, Vil iers said. Did you try to seduce anyone else, or was I your only foray?

She felt herself flushing. You were my only try at adultery, though the fact doesnt reduce my shame.

I am the more honored, he said.

Dont be. I chose you because you were Benjamins closest friend and I wanted so bitterly for him to notice me. To put me before a chess match, even just one time.

Vil iers nodded. But his silence said what she knew: even had she slept with Benjamins friend, it wouldnt have meant she was loved above chess. Or even accounted above a good win at the game.

Wel , she said brightly, this is a dismal topic. When do you think that you might be able to rise?

A day or two, Vil iers said. I wish I were better. Im worried that you wil be discovered long before you wish to be. Are you quite sure you wish to stay here?

I love being in these breeches, Harriet said, looking at them affectionately. And not because my derrière shows to advantage, but because it makes me feel free. It is very nice not to be Benjamins widow for a time.

Is it so terrible? he asked.

Everyone loved Benjamin. He was always cheerful, always friendly, always ready with a kind word or a loan, if it came to that.

That was easy, because he didnt care deeply for people or money. Only for chess.

Its an il ness, Vil iers said.

She stood up and grinned, looking down at him. No chess for a month. I count it as my revenge.

He groaned. Im reading.

Not chess books, I hope.

The History of Tom Jones.

Whos Tom Jones? A politician?

Its a novel, not a real history. So far hes a naughty sort who has stolen a duck and seems doomed to be hanged. Given the length of the novel, I shal be surprised if he escapes the scaffold. Do go amuse yourself. Stranges house parties exist for that sole purpose.

It is enormously fun to be male, Harriet agreed. You can have no idea. Unless you tried to be female.

His heavy lidded eyes lowered a bit. Id rather not.

From what Ive seen, Stranges party is not so different from any other house party, beyond the fact that I cant name everyones lineage. Should any dancing girls appear, Il send you a message.

And wil you pay me a visit and tel me how your manliness develops?

Harriet smiled faintly. Saving you from the high moral tone of that book?

At least tel me how it goes with the young lady who desires your further acquaintance. I am like to die of boredom here without He stopped.

Without chess, Harriet fil ed in. Its al right. Im used to men who cant stop thinking about the white queen. At least you havent acquired a wife, only to slight her for every chess match within three counties.

I have tried, Vil iers said.

You were briefly engaged to Jemmas ward, werent you?

She threw me over for Jemmas brother. Then I thought I was making inroads on a certain Miss Tatlock, but she threw me over for my heir. The mockery in his heavy-lidded eyes almost made her laugh, despite herself. Do you suppose that theres something intrinsical y wrong with me?

A chess malady. The irrevocable inability to make a woman believe that he wil love her more than the chess game. No woman wants to be ranked below a set of toys, Vil iers.

I suppose youre right. Wel , Mr. Cope, go forth and be wooed.

The Tahitian Feast of Venus

I dont know if I can make it downstairs, Harriet moaned. Everything hurts! I cant lift my arm. My bottom is in excruciating pain.

I couldnt possibly go to the Feast of Venus by myself, Isidore said, looking a little panicked.

Why, Isidore, Harriet said, laughing. You look a bit nervous.

If only Vil iers would get up from his sickbed! I think hes malingering.

I doubt it. He looked played out, and hes not the sort to lie down if he didnt have to. What are you worried about?

Lucil e said that there is to be a dance performed by six virgins this evening. Apparently there were supposed to be twelve, but they couldnt locate another six girls who would agree to the label.

Harriet snorted. It sounds dissolute enough that Strange wil enjoy it.

Why do you say that? Dont you like him?

Hes a typical male: arrogant, irrational, and rather snappish. He likes to make me feel like a fool. You should have seen how chagrined he was when I managed to prick him with the sword, though it was entirely his fault for insisting we didnt need rapier caps. At any rate, whats frightened you about the six virgins?

The obvious, Isidore said. A French demi-rep put on some sort of impromptu performance here last month that involved a visiting sugar baron from the Americas. I am not ready to witness that.

Neither am I, Harriet said, pul ing out a cravat so that Vil ierss man could tie it for her. If it looks as if the six virgins have found close friends, wel leave.

Perhaps we should just eat in our room tonight.

Is this the brave Isidore, who wanted to create a scandal large enough to bring the Duke of Cosway back from deepest Africa?

Its one thing to create a scandal and another to see six virgins losing their status.

Harriet couldnt help laughing. I thought you were so sophisticated. Frighteningly so.

I put on a good show, Isidore said, with her lightning quick smile. But in fact, Im a good daughter to my Catholic mother. She was very protective. I love to flirt but thats al .

I promise Il drag you out of the room if it looks as if the entertainment is turning salacious. Il probably need you to rescue me, anyway.

Why? Is there a man after you? Isidore said. You know, I wouldnt have mentioned this, Harriet, but I have a funny feeling about Lord Strange. She lowered his voice. He looks at you in such a way

No, he doesnt, Harriet said. He finds me incredibly irritating, but Vil iers told him to look after me, so he has to do it.

I dont know, Isidore said dubiously. Are you fol owing what Im saying, Harriet? He My problem is Kitty, Harriet interrupted.

Kitty?

One of the Graces. Have you met them?

Isidore wrinkled her nose. I met Caliope. She has the biggest breasts I have ever seen, and she wears such a rigid corset that they swel up around her chin.

Harriet laughed.

Truly! She must have a very short neck. Whats Kitty like?

Very pretty, rather sweet, andand interested.

Isidore started hooting with laughter. You have a suitor!

Harriet stood up, wincing from al her sore muscles, and looked at herself in the glass. Tonight she was wearing black silk breeches with a scarlet waistcoat marked with a border of embroidered silver chains. Do you think I look too gaudy? Finchley says that I cant possibly dress al in one color, though I think that the Duke of Fletcher looks wonderful when he does it.

No one wears a plain suit, except for Fletcher, Isidore said. I like the embroidery on your waistcoat. It marks you as a protégé of Vil iers, which is important. No one could think that Vil iers would sneak a woman into Stranges house in disguise. What coat wil you wear?

Velvet, Harriet said, turning to the table where it was laid out. Scarlet. Im a scarlet woman, in every sense of the word.

Lovely embroidery around the buttonholes, Isidore said. I do wonder how Id look as a man. You look utterly delicious, Harriet. Im not at al surprised that Kitty is chasing you.

Harriet pul ed on the scarlet coat and then glanced at herself. Even sore in every muscle, she lookedwel good.

Isidore appeared at her shoulder. Please dont be insulted, but I think you make a lovely boy.

Im not insulted, Harriet said. Just sad that I cant dress like this at al times. Ive always disliked my hair, but I love it pul ed back in a simple queue.

You could dress like this. Its merely a matter of eschewing ruffled and ribboned gowns for a more masculine style. You could set a new fashion!

Harriet shook her head but she couldnt stop herself from smiling. Its just so ironic. I feel beautiful, for the first time in my life. But no one of the right sex is interested in me!

Do you want me to scare off Kitty by tel ing her you are mine and only mine? We should probably go downstairs now, Harriet.

That gong went off at least an hour ago.

I can manage Kitty, Harriet said, loving the fact that she didnt have to pick up a knotting bag or a shawl, but could just strol from the room.

Povy was outside the bal room doors when they arrived. The entertainment is about to begin, he whispered. If you would be so kind as to stand in the back, Il seat you shortly.

Thank you, Harriet said, remembering at the last minute to al ow Isidore to walk through the door before her. As Duchess of Berrow, she was used to taking precedence over almost every woman below the level of nobility: it was hard to remember that a male always fol owed a female, with no regard for rank.

The company was assembled on rows of gilt chairs facing a raised platform stage, so Harriet and Isidore moved to stand behind the last row. One side of the bal room was lined with tal narrow windows looking onto a formal garden. It was undoubtedly quite handsome in the summer, but at the moment it was a few degrees above arctic, due to a draft stealing under the windows.

On the stage a young woman glared furiously at the heavens. She flung out her arm and cried: Bright star of Venus, fal en down on the earth, how may I reverently worship thee enough?