Enigma (31 page)

“She has her own mind. Of course she wants to do it. She loves me. This is her decision and I’ll stand by her.”

“Kate, this is serious. Do you want to live forever?” Seb asked me.

Again, I couldn’t answer. I just prayed that this new information wouldn’t push Seb to expose our secret. If Jack found out that I didn’t have any feelings for him, he’d die, and every lie I had told would have been for nothing.

With the reality of immortality sinking in, all eyes were on me. I knew if I decided not to go through with the adrenalization that Seb wouldn’t think any less of me. I wasn’t convinced that Jack was of the same mindset.

“Kate, think about this. Honestly, if I had the choice, I can’t be sure that I’d choose to live forever. It’s fine if you change your mind. We’ll find a way to deal with the curse,” Seb said.

He was so selfless. I smiled at him, floored by his concern; he loved me enough to sacrifice his life for mine, and stood before me offering his unconditional love.

“Nothing has changed in my mind. I still want to do it. I said I’d take all the risks and I will—every one of them, the known and the unknown,” I answered.

“This is crazy, Kate. You deserve to live a normal, happy life. Don’t do this to yourself,” Seb begged.

Jack glared over at him. “Seb, give it a rest. She’s made up her mind. We’ll be quite happy living together—forever.”

“You’ll be living together forever, but remember that Kate won’t be able to give you children. After what happened to Alissa, it’s too risky,” Marcus reminded us.

Jack walked over to the wooden box again, unaffected by what Marcus had declared.

“Jack, I think you need to take this a little more seriously. Did you hear what I just said?”

Jack looked over at Marcus. “You tell us that you’ve tried to kill yourself, but to no avail, yet you insist that our mother died giving birth to us. How does that make any sense?”

Jack began rifling through the wooden box. I couldn’t believe that he didn’t believe Marcus; you only had to look into his eyes to know that he was telling the truth.

“Jack, it’s natural for you to be in denial, but I can assure you it’s true. Your mother died in front of Jonathan. I was too weak to be beside her and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

“Marcus, if you want to believe that, then go ahead. But I don’t believe it,” Jack said.

“What about my mother? She gave birth to me and survived,” Ethan said.

“That’s because Shelly wasn’t adrenalized, Ethan,” Marcus answered.

Jack stood up, holding the small, tattered book, and turned to Marcus. “None of this makes any sense and, just to mention it, how could you be so incredibly selfish? You say you loved us. You had two sons who needed their father, two responsibilities, and you tried to kill yourself.”

“Alissa is dead, Jack, and I wasn’t fit to raise two boys alone. I gave you both to Lindsey and Jonathan for your own sakes; they could give you the life you both deserved.”

“You gave us to them out of guilt for cursing Lindsey.”

“I feel terrible for cursing Lindsey, but I wouldn’t have given you up if I could have raised you. I’m sorry for letting the three of you down.”

“It’ll take more than an apology for you to make up for eighteen years of abandonment,” Jack said.

“I know. And if you give me the chance, I’d love to start making amends.”

“You can make amends by helping us find our mother.” Jack turned his back on Marcus to retrieve the other tatty book from the wooden box.

“Jack, you have to stop this nonsense. There is no way your mother could possibly be alive. If there was any hope of that, I would search to the end of the earth to find her.”

“Please don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t believe. I have every right to believe that my mother’s alive.”

Marcus’s eyes glazed over as he spoke. Seb noticed this too. He looked over at Jack, trying to warn him to back off. Either Jack hadn’t seen Seb’s warning glare, or he may have not cared. He stared back at Marcus, walking closer to him.

“She’s dead, Jack!” Marcus yelled, a purple tinge appearing in his eyes. “She’s dead and there’s no question about it!”

Jack stood with me firmly tucked behind him, telling Marcus to back off, when Seb walked over to us.

“No, I’m going to find my mother and prove that I’m right!” Jack yelled.

Marcus lunged at Jack. Seb tried to pull them apart but with such force between them, he was struggling to control the fight. I intervened, but Marcus knocked me down and I slid across the floor, hitting my head on the corner of the door. Wincing, I felt my head and noticed that I was bleeding. Seb tore off a piece of his T-shirt and placed it on my head. Jack and Marcus stopped fighting when they saw me lying on the floor. Jack rushed over and picked me up while scowling over at Marcus. I held onto him and endured the pain in my head as blood trickled down the side of my face. But it wasn’t over; Jack was going to get the last word.

“Look what you’ve done, Marcus. You’re insane. There’s no way I’m going to allow you to adrenalize Kate; I’m not letting you anywhere near her.” His loud voice made me wince.

“I’m so sorry. I lost control for a split second. Kate, I’m so sorry. Please wait. I can help you. I’m a doctor.”

Marcus’s offer was exactly what I needed, but I wasn’t sure if Jack would be selfless enough to back down.

“Jack, she’s bleeding badly. Let him look at her. Remember that she’s still human,” Seb pleaded, his face full of concern.

There was a lot of blood, and once Jack saw this, he reluctantly walked over to Marcus and laid me on the steel bed. Its musty odor made me nauseous. Marcus looked at my head before heading over to the tower of drawers. He pulled out each one, found a needle, and then walked over to me.

Jack stood up, seeing the panic on my face. “What’s that?” he asked.

“It’s a painkiller, Jack, that’s all. She needs stitches and I don’t want it to hurt her.”

I felt woozy at the sight of the needle and then everything went black.

CHAPTER 30

A
s I regained consciousness and opened my eyes, I was in Jack’s bed and he was sleeping beside me. My head was sore and I struggled to get comfortable, but lying next to Jack made me feel awkward. Because of my impending adrenalization, I kept waking up throughout the night, having to wipe beads of sweat off my forehead. I must have drifted off to sleep again, but when I awoke, the sun was rising and Jack was gone.

I jumped in the shower, washed my hair, and wrapped it up in a towel to dry. I brushed my teeth and, wearing only my underwear, I opened the bathroom door to find Seb sitting on Jack’s bed. Knowing that I could lose control at any moment, I ran back into the bathroom. My heart was racing when Seb knocked on the door.

“Kate, I just want to speak to you alone, just for a moment. Jack went to the beach for a swim; he won’t be back for a while.”

“Seb, you should go.”

“I have to know why you agreed to marry Jack. How are you going to get out of that one after the adrenalization?”

I leaned against the door. With everything else going on, I’d completely forgotten that I was now an engaged woman.

“If I’d said no, he would have been suspicious. We agreed that I should still act like I’m in love with him. It’s only an act.”

Seb sighed. “I know, but I think an engagement has taken it too far.”

I agreed with him, but I was trapped.

“It’s so hard seeing you with him, Kate. It’s becoming unbearable.”

“Seb, you have to go. I’m sorry, but in a few days all of this will be over and I’ll be able to break up with Jack.”

“Please come out of the bathroom. I just want to look at you.”

“Seb, you know I’m only wearing my underwear.”

“I know. I just want to look at you so I can lock the image of your beauty away in my mind until I can have you.”

“I don’t know if I can trust myself.”

“Please come out.”

If I was going to expose myself, then I was going to look my best. I removed the towel from my head and ran my fingers through my hair. I adjusted my bra and checked myself in the mirror. I opened the door and Seb was standing in front of me.

“You’re so sexy.”

Seb held his hands behind his back and observed every inch of my body. I knew that if he touched me, I was going to lose control. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anybody, but for now, I would have to satisfy myself with only daydreams of us lost in the moment and sharing each other’s aching bodies. Seb sighed and with trembling lips, he turned away and left the room.

With Seb gone, I got dressed and tried to get myself together emotionally. I walked downstairs, picking up my pace when Jack appeared. He almost knocked me down when he brushed past me at lightning speed.

“Hello, sleepy head,” he said, smiling. “I’m starving. Let’s get coffee and some breakfast.”

Marcus, Ethan, and Seb were sitting at the kitchen table. They all held cups of coffee, and three crumb-filled plates sat between them.

Marcus stood up and offered me his chair. “How’s your head Kate? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“We’ve all agreed to keep our cool from now on.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that.”

Marcus took another chair and sat down. “I haven’t had the chance to properly apologize to you boys. Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to make up for my absence. But I at least owe you the truth. I’ll answer whatever questions you want to ask me.”

Everyone fell silent for a few minutes before Jack spoke.

“I want to know what my mother was like.”

Marcus looked sad. “I’d been expecting that question. Your mother was, and still is, the love of my life. She was extraordinary, full of life, and she lived by the motto: to dare is to do. She thrived on anything risky. She didn’t have any fears.” He smiled, remembering his wife.

“It sounds like she was a lot of fun to be around,” I said.

“She
was
fun; her love of life was infectious. She could light up your life in every way. I’d love to see how your mother lives on in you both.”

Ethan looked a little put out.

Jack’s eyes lit up. “Maybe—”

I nudged him with my knee under the table and spilled my coffee. I knew what he was about to say, but I didn’t want him to finish his sentence. I didn’t want a rerun of yesterday. Jack took my hint and stayed quiet.

“Tell me what you remember about my mother,” Ethan asked.

“Well, your mother was—”

“Save it!” Ethan stood up. “She was just a cheap night for you.”

“No! Your mother was a wonderful woman.”

“Yes she was, and she deserved to have a respectable partner, but you took that opportunity away from her. After having me, she didn’t trust anyone and spent the rest of her life alone.”

“Ethan, I’m sorry,” Marcus said.

“I’m going outside to get some air,” Ethan said, and walked out the back door.

“I should go after him,” Marcus said.

“Actually, I think he could use a little space,” Jack suggested.

Marcus looked embarrassed, but Seb was eager to ask another question.

“Where do you live?” It was a simple question, but one that we should have all been thinking.

“Everywhere. I always rent. When you’ve been thirty for the past twenty years, you have to move around before anyone gets suspicious. At the moment, I’m living here. I’m here to help you, to give you whatever you need, for as long as you want me here.”

I hoped that his statement included helping with the adrenalization.

“So, you don’t have a home?” Jack asked.

“No; the only home I ever had was the one I shared with your mother. I still own the house, but haven’t been back there for a few years now. It’s too painful.”

Jack stared at him. “Be honest: would you have ever come back for us if Jonathan hadn’t died?”

“Jonathan and I have been in touch for years. Lindsey had no idea. He thought it was best not to upset her and disrupt you boys.”

“So she has no idea that you’re back?” I asked.

“No. I haven’t seen her in sixteen years.”

“Then you should probably leave. After all, this is her house and I doubt she’d want you staying here,” Jack said.

“I’m happy to stay in a motel. But I’m not going anywhere until I’ve helped you out. It’s what Jonathan wanted.”

“Who gives a crap about what he wanted? He’s six feet under, where he belongs,” Jack said. “We’re better off without him and we’re better off without you. I’ve heard enough. Come on, Kate. Let’s go.” Jack took my hand and we excused ourselves; Seb followed.

Jack wanted to walk to the beach, and I obliged. Seb got on his bike, waved, and rode past us. I lost myself in the fantasy of wrapping my arms around his waist until Jack waved his hands in front of my face.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I think you should know that when I find my mom, I’ll prove that we’ll be able to have a family. Don’t mention it to anyone.”