Enlightened (Red Flags) (13 page)

"Hello, Gorgeous."  I heard him purr, with that entirely too sweet level of southern drawl that he often used when speaking to me.  I felt his hand glide over my back, and just as it settled, Damian moved his. 

Even though we were standing outside, I fell short of breath.  The multitude of faces surrounding me instantly became a blur, as Jason's face was all that I could concentrate on.  My melting emotions were betraying what I wanted to feel.  I had always pictured in my mind, a perfect scenario where, if I ever ran into Jason again, I would take my palm to his face and yell all sorts of obscenities at him for not staying away, then promptly remove myself from his presence.  So far, I was 0-3.  I couldn't help the fact that over the past few weeks, his incessant displays of affection--even though they were ignored--his persistence, and his ability to leave me with a bit of space, had begun to shave off some of my newfound, hardened exterior. 

His gloriously, messy brown hair had grown a bit, and the way it flopped all over his head made me smile.  He had even grown a bit of facial hair, and the mature look it gave him pulled at my heart.  As our eyes met, I was once again introduced to the seduction in the gleam of his eyes, those same brown eyes that had seduced me the night I gave in to him in our management class.  He looked like he had allowed a slight bit of stubble to grow on his face, and my fingers ached with a hunger to touch it, but I refrained.  The all black ensemble he wore quickly took me back to my birthday party that he'd worked so diligently putting together for me.  His pants hung just right on what I knew to be the V at his hips, hidden by his clothing.  Every part of my triple beating heart was pushing me to just throw my arms him, and kiss him with the passion that I so desperately wanted to feel from him, but I once again kept those feelings at bay and stood where I was.

"Bradley?  What are you doing here?" Damian asked, a hint of arrogance flying from his tongue.  I watched him and Jason eye one another with looks of suspicion darting between the two.

"Wait.  You two know each other?"  Chelsea chimed in, focusing on the two of them while trying desperately to scour through this tension wrought situation.

"Hunter's father sent the invitation to all Bradley employees.  And yes, Damian and I know one another very well."  The sneer at the mention of Damian's name told me that they weren't best friends who went way back--there was something more to them.

I watched as Ryan and Mila stood close together, impassive looks on their faces.  Chase stood quiet, looking as if he wanted to bolt just as I had earlier. 

"Can we talk?"  Jason asked, effectively removing himself from the group conversation.

"Now isn't a good time, Jason.  I'm here to celebrate Hunter's and Chelsea's engagement," I answered back, stealing a look at the happy couple who couldn't have shared more polar opposite expressions.  Chelsea stared daggers into Jason, while Hunter stood with a look of empathy.  Their expressions were my heart split in two.  I felt wrath and love all at the same time--something I wasn't entirely sure could even exist.

"I won't take much time.  Just give me a few minutes, please?"  The plea in his eyes shifted me over to Hunter's side of compassion, and I agreed, much to the dismay of Chelsea, and the bewilderment of Damian.

Jason kept his hand on the small of my back and led me to an area towards the side of the house, where barely any of the guests had congregated. 

"You look so damn beautiful, Cara," he said, as we stopped in a spot to finally speak without peering eyes watching us.  "I love the new hair." 

"Thank you," I replied, after blowing out the breath that had long been held inside on the walk that felt like it would never end, "Why are you here?"

He looked surprised by my question. 

"What do you mean?"

"You and Chelsea don't like each other.  Why would you come to her parents' house for a party in her honor?" I asked, clarifying the obvious for him.

"I'm here for Hunter," he said, smiling innocently, "And I'm also here because of you."

"Me?" I asked, feeling as if I had missed something.

"Yes. You.  Chelsea's your best friend. I knew you'd be at her party, and since I couldn't get you to speak to me any other way, I figured a night of celebrating her was worth the suffering to be able to see you."

A hint of a smile spread across my lips, but I quickly tucked it away.  I didn't want him to see how easily his off kilter charm could work its magic on me.

"Well, you need to say what it is you came to say.  I didn't come to this party to be cornered off away from my friends."  I put as much attitude in my retort as possible.

"I know," he said wearily, running his hands through his incredibly sexy, messy brown locks.  "Look, the truth is, I've been miserable without you.  What you said to me the night you left, you might as well have sliced me open and left me there to bleed."

"What did I say?"  I interrupted, knowing exactly what he was about to say, but just wanting to hear it for good measure.

"You said I was already dead to you." 

I watched him close his eyes and swallow hard.  When he opened them, they glossed with the threat of tears and my heart began to ache for him, but I didn't want to let that be known.  I didn't want him to swoop in and sweep me off my feet, even if it was what I was feeling. 

"Jason, you hurt me.  You embarrassed me, and you betrayed me," I spouted out at him, regaining the anger that was boiling deep down under all of the sentimental feelings that I felt for him.  "You hid so much shit from me, only to have it blow up in your face, and you want me to feel compassion for you?  Where is your compassion for me?"

"It's all over me.  It consumes me," he said, taking my hands in his.  "I wanted nothing more than to wrap you in my arms that night and let you know that everything would be alright.  That we would be fine together, but I didn't get that chance."  Passion radiated from his eyes.  "You ran out before I got a chance to tell my side of things, and I've been slowly trying to make my way back to you ever since."

I sniffled and blinked hard, desperately trying to keep my tears away.

"What did you expect, Jason?  I had just had my world flipped upside down--in front of people I didn't even really know.  I wasn't about to stand there and have all of my dignity ripped to shreds."

"You could have left them and come to me.  We could have talked about all the bullshit that was thrown out that night."

"I didn't want to.  I was physically ill just hearing about you, your past, Heather, and of course, the damn bell ringer, Stacey."

"I should have clued you in on my past, Cara, I know that.  I was so ashamed of it, that I couldn't bring myself to tell you."

"You didn't think it would be wise to tell me that you were still pining for your brother's wife?  So you found someone to suit your infatuation?"  Recalling that fact made my stomach roll.

"Fuck Jacob.  I did not go in search of someone who reminded me of Heather."  He stopped and narrowed his eyes at me.  "Is that why you have this drastic hair change?"

I felt a bit sheepish by his question, but quickly answered, "Partly."

"I had a feeling.  I love this look on you, but I loved your curls even more.  Please don't listen to Jacob.  He's a dirty, fucking gutter rat, who knows nothing about me."

"He knew enough," I thoughtlessly blurted out.

I watched Jason internally debate with himself before saying, "I really just need some time with you.  Now really isn't the time or place for this."

I nodded my head, finally able to agree on something with him.

"Can you please give me more time, say, tomorrow, or Monday?" 

"I don't know, Jason.  I'm not sure that there is anything else to discuss." I told him, betraying the feelings eagerly awaiting release.

"Please, Cara.  I'm not above begging."

He took my hands again and just as he was about to drop to his knees, I tugged on him, signaling him to stand up.

"I'll text you tomorrow.  Right now, I just want to go and celebrate with my friend."

"Thank you," he said, as his lips curled into a soft smile.  "I'm gonna go say my goodbyes."  He leaned in a planted a soft kiss on my cheek.  The familiar sparks that I often felt when he was in my presence came rushing back, and while I was working overtime to protect my heart, my heart was beating in a way that begged to be released.

I watched Jason walk away and give Hunter and Ryan the guy-hug and then leave the party.  I waited a few minutes, hoping to regain my composure before making my way back over to the group.  When I finally got there, Mila gently grabbed me by the arm, wanting to know what had happened in our momentary absence.  I gave her a brief overview, making sure that she was aware that we were in no way back together.  It would take more than a few sweet words for Jason to wriggle his way back into my heart.  The only problem was, Jason had never left it.  I didn't admit that to her, but the look she gave me told me that she already knew. 

"I understand the apprehension, Pinks, but either deal with him, or totally cut him loose.  This lingo is going to drive you nuts." 

"I know," I answered, making sure to put conviction in my voice.

"Oh, and that damn Rossi guy.  I don't like him."  Her face contorted into a sour faced scowl.

I couldn't help but laugh.  She looked as if she'd bit deep into a lemon and couldn't remove it from her mouth.

"You just met him."

"Right.  So that should tell you something," she said, smirking wryly.  "I know you want to be cautious, but I'm telling you that, Ryan and I think you really need to sit down and lay everything out on the table with Jason.  If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but bottling up your feelings is doing nothing for you.  I saw the look in your eyes when you saw him.  I saw passion."

I subconsciously placed my hand up to my chest.  How had Mila seen all of that?  I thought for sure the eyes and the labored breathing were tucked into the realm that only Jason and I had entered.  She smiled at me, then led me back over to the awaiting group.  Damian gave me a puzzled look, but didn't say anything directly to me.  I grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the passing servers and downed it like it was a shot.  My mind was all over the place.  Between Jason's words, Damian's stares, and Chase's hopeful glances, a whirlwind of emotions were swirling through me at a speed capable of knocking me off my feet.

Chapter 11

Sunday morning came, greeting me with a pounding headache.  Thinking back, I contributed this nuisance to not only the abundance of champagne flowing at Chelsea's party, but also to Chase, Damian, and of course, Jason.  To say I was shocked to see Jason at the party was an understatement.  In fact, I would have never guessed that he would show up at an event for Chelsea, no matter if someone else was involved or not.  Jason and Chelsea shared a mutual disdain for one another and it was blatantly showcased.

I trudged into my bathroom, searching the medicine cabinet in hopes of finding some Aspirin, but coming up empty.  I slowly walked out of my room, past Chelsea's empty bedroom and down the stairs to find that I was all alone in the condo.  I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and pulled down the medicine container from the cabinets, tossing two Aspirin into my mouth and swallowing them down with one large gulp of water.  I stood next to the island, and replayed my conversation with Jason over in my head.  He still had the same charm and edge that initially drew me to him, and while I wanted nothing more than to call him and listen to what he had to say, I knew that running back into his arms was the worst thing I could do right now. 

Damian and Chase were a whole set of other problems.  The fact that Damian and Jason, somehow knew one another--and obviously not in a good way--was an unsettling thought.  I'd be an idiot to say that I wasn't attracted to Damian.  His disturbing good looks would make most women swoon, but I didn't feel the sparks like I felt for Jason. 

  Chase, on the other hand, didn't fit into either category.  He was just my friend. My friend who wanted to be so much more, but just my friend, nonetheless.  I felt I had made my feelings for him known, but he was still holding out hope, which made me feel like a bitch since I obviously hadn't let him know well enough.

Just thinking about the three of them made me want to pop a couple more pills, but I didn't.  I settled for the water and went to lie down on the couch.  After blankly staring at the TV for the next hour or so, I found myself drifting back to sleep.

Waking to the buzz of my cell phone, I found that Chase had texted me a couple of times, as did Jason. My headache had somewhat subsided, but I cautiously opened the text messages, fully aware that whatever they contained could very well spark the dull pain once again.

  from Chase

Just wanted to say hi.

from Chase

Call me when you can.

from Jason

You looked knock out gorgeous at the party. 

From Jason

I really hope to hear from you.  The agony of not being with you is killing me.

I Love You

I sat my phone down without responding to either.  I felt emotionally drained by the thought of them, and didn't feel like engaging in any sort of conversation.  Life had gone from carefree and easy to hectic in a matter of a few days.  Most girls would have been flattered with the excess attention, but it was making me want to hide away from all of them.

<>

Soothing the ache in my head was much more important than texting either of the guys back, so I finally listened to myself and shut my cell phone off for the rest of the day.  When I walked into the office Monday morning, all I wanted to do was dive into work and consume myself with it. 

Riding up the elevator, I stood and stared blankly. The steady pattern of people coming and going hindered my want to be at my desk, submerged in all things Tide.  The ding of the fifth floor woke me from my lethargic reverie, and I walked out, past Amanda's empty desk and slipped into my own office. I closed my eyes and let out a frustrating sigh at the sight of seeing Amanda going over some calendar details with Damian.  They both looked up and smiled, upon seeing me walk in, Amanda's being genuine and Damian's being wickedly seductive.  Irritation flashed across my face, and Amanda quickly dropped what she was doing and walked over to me with concern etched into her.