Equation for Love (15 page)
feel. Safe. Cherished. Not alone. All the things Skye loved most about how he felt when he was with Liam. More than the pleasure, more than the lust and the physical eroticism, Skye loved the way Liammade him feel warm and not alone and like he mattered for reasons with nothing to do with solving equations or positing theories. Liam liked his brains, but more than that, Liamjust liked him.
That revelation was new and intoxicating for Skye and he focused on the feeling now as Liamfinished with his wrists and forearms and began winding the same rope--goodness, it must be long--in tight loops around Skye's upper chest.
He glanced up as Liamcame around infront ofhim. The expression on the other man's face was breathtaking. Intent and veryserious, Liamwas focused entirely on the task at hand, and Skye found his heart racinginresponse to his unwaveringattention.
"I...I saw pictures of this," Skye blurted. "On the Internet."
Liam met his gaze with a slow smile. That devastating smile always made Skye feel as though he needed to sit downand catchhis breath.
"Did you? Tellme what youthought."
Skye swallowed, trying to remember. "I...I thought it was pretty. I thought there was a sort of...art about it, almost. And I wondered what it felt like."
"How does it feel?"
Skye let out a soft sigh, meeting Liam's eyes. "Like you're holdingme."
Liam's expression softened, and he leaned in to kiss Skye slowly before pulling back again. "That's how it should feel. The ropes aren't just a decoration, they're sort of...anextensionofme, I guess."
Skye considered that as Liam continued. He liked the idea the ropes were an extension of Liam. It helped make them easier to accept as Liam continued to wind and wrap and knot and twist, the sensation gradually shifting from merely sexy to confining and intense in a wayhe hadn't expected somethingso prettycould be.
The ropes were tight, but not painfully. Enough to constrict his chest, but not his breathing. Skye trembled as Liam bent to wind the rope between his thighs, breath catching when he fashioned a single knot at the back that nestled directly against his entrance.
Oh, evil, evil man.
Then Liamfinished things off by securing that rope to Skye's wrists and he straightened, looking thoroughlypleased withhimself.
Skye shivered, though he wasn't cold. Now what? Liam was just looking at him, with this simmering, unreadable expression. Did he like what he saw? Skye hoped so. Skye certainly liked how it felt. He couldn't shake the feeling something was off, though, with Liam. He seemed...disconnected somehow and it made Skye nervous and anxious in a way he shouldn't be, he didn't
"Are yousure you're okay?"
Liam met his gaze, brows furrowing. "I'm fine,
Skye."Then he leaned in to kiss Skye again, just like he
had earlier whenSkye had asked.
When the kiss ended, Skye felt as hazy as he
usually did after one of those mind-bending kisses, but
he forced himself to shake it off, frowning at Liam.
"You're doingthat onpurpose,"he accused.
"Doingwhat?"
"Kissing me silly!" He scowled, the constriction of
the ropes suddenly not so pleasant as the doubt and
anxiety crept in and crumbled the trust he'd clung to the
entire time. What was going on and why was Liam
tryingto confuse and distract himfromwhatever it was? It was then, realizing Liam was trying distract him,
that a bit of panic began to set in. He was completely
helpless, unable to defend himself...his safeword
flickered to the forefront of his mind, unbidden, but the
rational side of him protested it was absurd even to
consider that he was in any danger. Liamwould protect
him. Skye trusted him. But why was Liam acting so
strangely--not acting strangely, exactly, but Skye could
feelit inhim...somethingwas verywrong.
Skye didn't even notice his breathing had gone
shallow and too rapid until Liam's expression changed
to true concern and he reached for a pair of scissors
Skye hadn't even noticed on the nightstand. Oh, noooo,
Skye's mind cried as Liamsnipped the pretty rope here
and there until, in just a handful of seconds, it lay in bits
around them on the bed and Skye was free. He was
too busy trying to catch his breath and being clammy
and shakyto mournthe loss, though.
Liam wrapped his arms around him, but Skye
shoved at his chest, shaking his head. "Stop it." Liam's
arms dropped, and Skye felt instantly cold. He met
Liam's gaze out of the corner of his eye. "What just
happened?"
Liam looked...sad? What on earth was he sad
about? None ofthis made sense.
"What just happened is the result of me getting too
emotionally invested. I'm so sorry, Skye. I shouldn't
have attempted the shibari under these circumstances. I
don't know what I was thinkingand I'msorry." Skye blinked. Too emotionally invested? What
circumstances? He shook his head. "I don't understand
what you mean." Skye had never seen that expression
on Liam's face before. He looked...devastated. Guilty.
Ashamed, even.
What
was goingon?
Liam's hands shook as he raked them through his
hair. He seemed so upset by the scene falling apart that
Skye couldn't help the clawing need to comfort him, to
say it was okay and would be fine. He wasn't sure
anything
would
be fine, though. He wasn't even sure
what had caused the problem in the first place. Finally, Liam seemed to steel himself and stood up from the bed. "I think we need to move up our end date, Skye.
What youhave left to learn...I can't teachyou." Skye's heart kicked up, panic flooding through him.
"What? No, Liam, I don't want...we had a deal," he
finished clumsily. What he wanted to do was blurt out
how he felt, that he loved Liamand didn't want to learn
anything from anyone else. If Liam couldn't teach it to
him, thenSkye damnwelldidn't need to know it. But he
couldn't saythat, no matter how muchhe wanted to. Liam shook his head. "The deal's off. I'm sorry."
And then--oh, God--he started putting his clothes back
For a second, Skye thought he'd gotten through to him because Liam paused and then nodded. "You're right. I can't just walk away." He strode over to the nightstand, where a small pad of hotel paper and a pen emblazoned with the casino's logo sat, bending over to scribble somethingonit.
Any other time Skye would have been ogling his gorgeous ass bent over like that, but right then he was too terrified of what was going on to appreciate the spectacular view.
Liamturned and held out a piece ofpaper. "Here." Skye frowned and approached almost warily, worried about what might be on the slip of paper. He took it and glanced down, brows knitting when all he saw was anaddress. "What is it?"
dressing. He wanted to beg himnot to go, some part of him afraid if Liam left he wouldn't come back, he wouldn't see him again, but the paper in his hand grounded him. Liam didn't break his promises, so he nodded, licking his dry lips. "Okay. Liam, I..." But he didn't know what to say.
Liam met his gaze and, for a moment, Skye swore he wasn't the only one feeling like the world was somehow ending. Then Liam gave him a charming smile--even if it didn't seem to reach his eyes--and touched his cheek lightly. "See youtomorrow, Skye."
It wasn't until he was gone and Skye sat on the edge of the bed in his hotel robe with the remnants of rope scattered around him, frayed and empty, that Skye gave into the burningfeelingand let the tears come.
He was a fool. He'd somehow convinced himself Liam wasn't going to be able to let him go when the time came and it'd all work out like in the movies. Instead...Liam not only was
able
to let him go, he was doing it early. Skye glanced down at the cut bits of rope, reaching out to brush his fingers over one segment. Liam had said the ropes were like he was holdingSkye.
Chapter 13
Skye glanced up at the building, for a second sure he'd gotten the wrong place. The address was right, however, so he climbed out ofthe taxi. Before he could even begin to wonder what to do next, he spotted Liam approaching. He must have been waiting and watching for him.
"Hey." He wasn't sure what to say; things had been left awkward and uncertainthe night before.
Liamtook his hand, and Skye clung to the contact, relaxing a little. "Hey. Come on, it's hot as hell out
"A BDSM club,"he whispered, like it was the promised land. It sort of was...he'd been curious and wondering what a place like this was like ever since Liam had decided Skye was a submissive. "Why's it called Bitten? Sounds vampire-ish,"he teased.
Liamsmiled. "I hear the owner has a fetish." "For vampires?"It seemed odd.
"For biting."
Ohhh.
Skye shivered a little. He wouldn't mind at
all if Liam decided he wanted to take a few bites. He held onto Liam's hand as he flashed a membership card at the bouncer. Skye began to worry he hadn't dressed appropriately. He'd always imagined a BDSM club full of mostly naked people in leather and those heavy stompyboots and such.
He was relieved when they got inside to see plenty of people in normal clothes. Oh sure, there were some wandering the club and in small alcove play areas dressed to the fetish nines, but there were just as many guys injeans or girls innormalclub wear.
He met Liam's gaze, the music here not as loud as at the nightclub, though it was definitely dimmer, with a reddish tinge to all the lights. It certainly set the mood, for sure. Skye felt wicked already just being there. He was beginning to lose some of the anxiety and worry of the last twenty-four hours.
"What are we here for?"What lesson?
"We're here to find youa new Dom, Skye." So much for the anxiety and worry being gone.
Oh, he was serious. As a heart attack. Liamdid his best to appear calm and collected, not at all bothered by the idea of picking out a man to take his place as Skye's Dom. This was what he'd been hired to do and he was going to do it. Then he was going to let Skye go while he stillcould. Ifhe stillcould.
Skye shook his head adamantly, the stricken expression on his face making Liam's heart twist. "No. No. I won't do it."
Liamlifted his brows. "This is what you hired me to do, Skye. To prepare you for your perfect partner, right? Your perfect partner is a Dom, and this is the best place to find him."
He did his best not to react when Skye jerked his hand away. He hadn't expected Skye to like the idea, but it was precisely because Skye didn't want another Dom that Liam knew he needed one. He'd gotten too attached, theybothhad, and it needed to stop. Now.
"Don't cause a scene, Skye,"he murmured in a low voice. Liam met the other man's dark eyes, throat nearlychokingonthe words.
Skye bit his lip, breathing fast. "What are you going to do?" he whispered furiously. "Walk around offering me to guys until you find one willing to take me off your hands?"
Liam stiffened, eyes narrowing. "That's insulting to both you and me." He took a deep breath, feeling like this was about to escalate out of control. "Listen to me, Skye. I want the best for you. How many times have I stressed to you not to settle when you start looking? Not to let anyone treat youlike anythingbut a prize?"
Skye swallowed hard and glanced around before meeting Liam's eyes. "Maybe I already know what the best for me is."
Liamshook his head, his chest tight. "No. Youhave to trust me, Skye. Yousaid youdid. Don't youstill?"
It wasn't fair and Liam knew it, but he didn't know how else to convince this stubborn man to do what had to be done. As expected, Skye tensed and glared, but after a moment he nodded.
"Fine, but you don't get to choose, Liam. I do. If I sayno, I meanno."
Liam nodded, relieved. "Of course." He did not intend to try to force Skye to accept anyone he didn't want. He only wanted to show himthere was more out there. That Liam wasn't the only man or the only Dom who was going to want him. He didn't think Skye believed that and it was time to prove it to him.
Skye huffed a little and even with the stress, Liam couldn't help but smile. He'd have to be sure Skye's new Domliked bratty subs. Someone who wouldn't try to force, but knew to cajole and seduce instead.
"Well, I don't know how you're going to just find me a new Dom. It's not like orderingout ofa catalogue, I assume."
Liamchuckled. "No, but that's why you have me. I know what to look for and I can tell which ones might like what you like. First, I want you to look around and tell me if anybody jumps out at you. Not necessarily physically--this is not a beauty pageant--but someone whose energydraws your eye."
Skye looked like he might protest, then sighed and turned to glance around the club. A second later, he shrugged. "I don't know, maybe the guy in the corner, withthe boyona leash?"
Liam shook his head. "No. That boy's his permanent sub. You don't want to be anyone's second string, Skye." He let one hand trail down Skye's back to rest onhis waist. "Tryagain."
Skye squirmed, meeting Liam's eyes. "This is stupid, Liam. I don't want any of these guys. I don't care if I'd be their first or second string. I don't want to playwiththemat all."
Liamtook a deep breath. "Then what are you going to do? Go back to what you had before this? Your numbers and your theories and your work, but no life?" That wasn't what Liam wanted; it wasn't what Skye wanted either, for God's sake. "I'll have failed you then. I'mtryingveryhard not to failyou, Skye."
Skye didn't say anything at first. He stared at Liam and he looked torn between running out and maybe punching Liamjust to get the emotion out. Finally, Skye exhaled and his brows furrowed, glancing around again. He nodded to the corner. "That one. He's very... Is it okayto sayhe reminds me ofyoua little?"
Liam didn't know whether to be grateful Skye was finallytakingthis seriouslyor whether to stalk across the club and knock the other guy in the teeth. He pulled back on the possessive jealousy and nodded. "Fine, Skye. Do youwant me to go bringhimover?"
Skye made a face, turning to Liam. "No. Liam, I don't want to do this. I don't
want
one of them. Why
won't you listen to me? I want
you.
" He shook a little,