Etched (16 page)

Chapter 28

Once again Kane sat at the worn wood table and stared toward the door of the cottage.  His shaking was uncontrollable, his hands an unnatural blue.  He went to the fire to get warm and sat rocking back and forth in his state of confusion as he watched the flames dance before him.  He stood, waiting for his balance to return, before walking towards a shelf with a row of pictures and letters scattered about.  The keeper was there with his wife and daughter, such a beautiful little girl, he thought to himself.  He ran his battered hands over the picture.  He wondered if his brother and
Rayna would live to be able to have a family and grow old.  He closed his eyes and silently prayed for them again.  His hands were unsteady and in his clumsiness he knocked the picture over.  As it landed the force sent a single letter from the shelf flying in slow motion towards the ground.  It sailed back and forth gently through the air until it landed at his feet.  His body ached beyond reason, his bones feeling as if they were breaking beneath his skin, and yet he still bent to retrieve the fallen letter.  He could see the juvenile print across the page and assumed it was a letter from the keeper’s young daughter.  As he went to place it back on the shelf something caught his attention and he pulled it back within his view.  It was a simple letter, short and concise that said she missed him and would see him at Christmas.  It was dated two years prior and was signed
Susie Stroud
.  He stared at the name, so beautiful upon the page, her S an overdone calligraphy of art. 
Susie
, he mouthed the name and smiled.  Instantaneously he had a flash of blonde hair and bright green eyes.  He could hear her laughter and his senses were filled with the smell of lavender.  His eyes flashed open and he blinked rapidly.  He placed the letter on the shelf and picked up the picture of the little girl.  She had big brown eyes and long dark hair, a stark contrast to the woman from his vision.  Thunder cracked in the sky above and drew Kane’s attention to the kitchen.  He looked out the window, clutching the heavy wool blanket around his bare shoulders. He turned to the table, his eyes fastened on the items scattered about.  He reached for the knife and turned it over in his wounded hands.  His sadness overwhelmed him as he went to the window and lifted his mangled hand to etch in the glass there.      

After her forced exercise in meditation, Susanna took a nap in the bedroom she shared with Kane.  She could smell him on the sheets and it did give her some comfort and helped her fall asleep.  She slept for nearly two hours, before the clock struck 4:00 p.m. She was amazed at her ability to function with so little sleep, something she had never quite mastered before.  She got up and went to the kitchen in order to dig through the cabinet in search of something to make for dinner.  Chicken, it was easy and everyone eats chicken, right?  She found an old white tablecloth and some placements and laid them out on the table along with two of the finest matching plates in the cabinet.  She carefully folded the napkins and placed the old silverware atop them and lit a candle in the center of the table.  She smiled at her handiwork deciding that he was the only missing piece.   After deciding on the menu and doing what preparation she could she decided that she would have a leisurely bath before sunset. She started the process of boiling the water and taking it to the tub.  At home she would have never settled for a bath that bordered on warm to luke warm but since her stay at the lighthouse she had acquiesced to the comforts of a warm bath.  The effort was time consuming, and made even longer once she dipped her finger in and decided that she needed one more bucket of steaming hot water.  Once the water was as perfect as she could make it, she shed her clothes and hung them on the back of the door before stepping in.  Susanna sank into the oversized tub, resting her head on a towel she had folded behind her.  Although at that moment, the bath was the epitome of comfort, she couldn’t help but covet a long hot shower.  She sank into the water to submerge her hair and then returned to resting her head on the towel.  Her eyes were closed as she enjoyed the music coming from her phone which was a playlist of her favorite movie scores.  Her arms were outstretched on the side of the tub, her fingers lightly strumming to the music as she relaxed. 

“This could possibly be one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in my entire life.”

His voice sounding from the doorway didn’t startle her in the least, a slow smile spreading across her damp face was the only sign that she had heard him at all, “I’m lucky you’re so easy to please.”

Kane walked towards her, his hand burying in her hair as he tilted her face towards him to kiss her, “Good evening,” he whispered as his lips touched hers.

“Good evening,” she smiled in return.

“Miss me?” he grinned wickedly.

“Every second.”

“Do you require assistance?”

“I was just about to wash my hair,” she answered, reaching for the shampoo.

“Ah
. Allow me,” he took the bottle from her and put a small amount in the palm of his hand before situating himself behind her and lathering up her long hair.

Susanna shoulders slouched in content as she allowed his fingers to kneed and lather her hair, “You’re very good at this.”

“Thank you.”

“Have you had a lot of practice?” she opened one eye to peek at him.

“Not really, but I could make up for lost time like this,” he winked at her.

After massaging her head for a few minutes, Kane reached for a decorative pitcher on the shelf to rinse her hair.  Susanna tilted her head back as Kane carefully allowed the water to cascade down her head and back.

“How did I do?”

She smiled at him, “Perfect.”

Kane reached for a towel to wrap around her as her as she stepped from the tub.  “I saw the table, very nice.”

“Thank you,” she took the hand he offered as he assisted her from the tub.  Reaching for her brush she brushed out her hair and then began to towel it dry. 

“How was your day?” he asked, leaning casually in the doorway.

“Good,” she looked in the mirror as she applied some lotion to her face and some lip gloss.

“Hopefully you ate and got some rest?”

“I did
. I got a lot accomplished today.  I sent an e-mail to Michelle asking for more time here and I spent some time talking with Emma. I also took care of the sheep and took a walk around the island.”

Kane nodded, “Sounds like a busy day.  What did Emma have to say?”

Susanna smiled, “She wanted me to meditate on our situation and she told me she had done some spiritualistic meditation herself and after each time she went to her deck of cards and chose one and each time she did, the same card popped up.”

Kane’s eyes narrowed, “Almost impossible odds.”

“She thought so too. But she doesn’t understand the significance of it.”

“She places a lot of weight
on those cards. I’m not sure they mean anything at all.”

“She thinks they do.  The cards she chose for me before I came over here certainly seem to
hit the nail on the head,” Susanna kissed him quickly as she scooted by him towards the bedroom to put on the clothes she had laid out on the bed before her bath.  Kane followed her, relaxing against the doorframe.

“So what does she think it means?”

Susanna dropped her towel and reached for her clothes, “She said something about rest and recovery for someone who has heroic accomplishments.”

Kane scoffed, “Sounds very broad.”

“They usually are, I haven’t seen the card but she said it shows the tomb of this person with swords hanging on the wall above them.”

“A tomb?”

“Yes. The hero is in a tomb in the basement of some sort of church.  But she said not to focus on the fact that he is deceased, because just like the death card, the cards don’t always convey what the picture shows.”

“Let’s hope not,” Kane smiled.

Susanna turned to him as he stood in the doorway smiling, “You’re grinning from ear to ear. Not sure I’ve ever seen you smile that big.”

“I’m just quietly enjoying the scenery,” Kane’s eyes danced
and smoldered with fire when he answered her.

Susanna gave him an innocent look, “Should we skip dinner?”

“Don’t tempt me,” Kane warned, his eyes raking over her.

“I’ve worked hard on your dinner, Mr. O’Reilly.
”

“Then we shall eat … quickly,” he added boldly.

She slipped into her clothes and then stood on her tiptoes and offered him a kiss, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m happy you did better today
. It will never be easy to leave you but it does help to know that you are doing better while I’m away.”

“
I am.  But no talk of you leaving until at least 4am.  I want to have a nice night without all that hanging over us.”

After dinner they relaxed in the living room with a glass of wine before the fire. 

“Did your employer answer your request?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t checked, but I probably should,” Susanna answered, reaching for her laptop and powering it on, “I’ve gotten terribly lazy at checking my e-mails since I’ve been here.”

Kane watched Susanna over her shoulder, “I’m sure this assignment was not quite what you expected.”

Susanna looked at him with a mixture of humor and disbelief, “No, not at all what I expected.”  She went back to scanning her e-mail, “No reply yet.”

Susanna plugged her computer into the wall outlet and went to the shelf to grab something before settling back on the couch with Kane, “So, I had Emma pick up two of my favorite movies for us to watch
. I didn’t think you’d seen too many of them out here without a TV and all.”

Kane looked at the two thin boxes she held in her hand, “
There’s a film in there?”

“Yep
. Two,” Susanna attempted to subdue her laughter.

“I never saw a film,” Kane said, turning the boxes over in his hand.

“Well, it was a hard decision to make but I’ve got the two extremes here. So it’s up to you to decide which one you want to watch.”

“Me?”

“Yes. I’ve seen both and love both, so it’s either a high violent drama movie or a sappy love story girlie movie,” she said as she held up both boxes.  Sleepless in Seattle was in her right hand and in her left was The Godfather.

“How about sappy love story girlie movie,” he clumsily repeated her phrase which caused Susanna to giggle.

“Perfect.”

Chapter 29

The two hour movie took close to four hours to watch because Kane had a question about everything he saw in the film.  From the cities to the building and the houseboat to the plane ride, there wasn’t a single question that went unasked.  He was fascinated by nearly everything he saw.  Susanna happily indulged his questions and
paused the movie over a hundred times in order to answer him.  Some things she actually looked up on her computer so she could show him.  She even had to read him the construction facts of the Empire State building and the Space Needle.  She found it humorous that he was less concerned with the story and more interested in everything else. 
Men haven’t changed that much
, she thought to herself.

Once the movie was over Kane pointed to the screen on the computer, “Show me something else.” 

Susanna pulled up her home town in Florida and then where she worked in Atlanta.  She was even able to find pictures of her apartment building which Kane thought looked luxuries compared to the lighthouse. 

“Seriously, there is not much out there that you can’t find on a computer,” Susanna said plainly. 

Susana pulled up old black and white photos of Boston which induced Kane to reminisce about his time there.  He was able to point out old buildings and various street corners and shops he saw on the screen.  He seemed to thoroughly enjoy looking through all the old pictures and reading about the past. 

“Can you show those cards that Emma uses?”

“Cards … the tarot cards?” Susanna asked.

“Yes.”

“Sure,” she said as she typed them in and watched the search results spring to the screen.  She clicked on pictures and an array of colorful images came up.

“Which one is it, the one that she kept picking over and over yesterday?”

“Hmm … Four of Swords was what she said. Let’s see if we can find that one,” Susanna murmured as she narrowed her search.  She quickly found the card and pulled the image up, scrolling to make it larger, “Here it is,” she said, pointing to the monitor.

Kane leaned in closer as did Susanna, “
It appears a bit ominous, does it not?”

“Like I said
earlier, she said that they don’t always mean what you think they do.”

Susanna looked at the image before her depicting a coffin or tomb with
three swords hanging on the wall, each of them pointing towards the deceased and one lying horizontal on the tomb.  The tomb and effigy was a bright yellow, the wall from where the swords were hung was a brilliant purple.  The room was bare except a colorful stained glass window on the back wall which was the only sign it was in a church. 

“I can’t imagine what it would mean,”
Kane said, “maybe she will have some sort of epiphany about it in the next day or two.”

“I’ll have to be honest
. The meditation that I forced myself to do today didn’t help me see anything more clearly. Although, I’ll have to say it was deeply relaxing.”

“You meditated?”

Susanna rolled her eyes, “The days are long when you’re not here. I was looking for a way to fill the time, which is why when this situation is more permanent, I’ll have to find work somewhere out there,” Susanna pointed towards the town.

Kane’s look faded into a grimace, “I don’t like not being able to provide for you.”

Susanna immediately sought to console him, “Times have changed, Kane.  The man doesn’t have to be the one to support a family anymore.  I’m more than capable and willing to support us.”

“But I can provide nothing,” Kane wasn’t satisfied.

“Not true,” she closed her computer and turned to face him, “You can cook, clean, chop wood, catch fish, fix stuff …”

“How very valuable,” he scoffed with a smile.

“It is! I couldn’t run this place without you!”

“And you’re content to be here in this cottage, forever?” his
liquid brown eyes narrowed at her.

“With some modern adjustments I think we can make it work.”

“Like?”

“Like running hot water for one.
  I don’t want to carry heated buckets of water to a tub forever.  And when we have kids running around this place, it will be even more difficult.”

Kane’s look softened
and lines formed at the corners of his eyes as he smiled slowly, “Kids?”

“Of course
. Two … maybe three,” she answered, “So I hope
you’re
content with all this,” she turned his own words on him.

“
Content beyond my wildest expectations,” he answered as he threaded her fingers in his and raised her hand to his mouth for a kiss.   

Susanna opened her laptop to scan her e-mails as she sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea.  She saw a few from Google Alerts which made her realize that she had not opened a single news website since she’d been here.  She chuckled to herself as she thought about how disconnected she was from the world in the tiny little lighthouse.

“Something funny?” he asked her from the kitchen.

“Me, I guess.  Normally I read the news all day long and then I come here and I have no idea what’s going on in the world,” Susanna laughed, “What’s funny is, I didn’t miss it.”

“I’m sure if something earth shattering had happened we would have heard from Emma.”

“I’m sure we would have,” Susanna answered, opening up an e-mail from her parents.  She could tell her mother had written it because it went on and on about how they never see her anymore and they would like for her to visit more often.  Veronica also went on to tell her that the Peterson’s, her parents next door neighbors, had been asking about her and that she should visit them the next time she’s in town. 

“Oh mom …” Susanna sighed.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Susanna waived towards the computer, “My mother seems to think that I should visit more and make time to see the neighbors the next time I’m down. She’s in for a shock when she finds out that she’ll have a twenty-five hour car ride the next time she wants to see me.”

“That’s a very long way,” Kane frowned, “Will she be terribly upset when you tell her?”

“Oh, I’m sure.  She’ll want to know all the details which of course I won’t be able to tell her
.  My dad will want to just move out here which I also can’t allow because then they would want to meet you … which isn’t possible.”

Kane continued to frown.

“I’ll find a way around it.  They’ll stay there and maybe I can go down once a year or something to see them.”

“Once a year?”
Kane was surprised.

“Yes,” Susanna looked up from the computer, “I’m not going to leave you every few months to see my parents.”

“They’ll miss you terribly, Susanna,” he countered.

“They’ll be fine.”

“What about your job?  Any word?” Kane stood at the counter and placed one of the delicate pieces of china in the cabinet.

“
Not yet, but I’m wondering if I should just go ahead and resign instead of asking them for another week.  It doesn’t seem right.  I already know I’m not coming back. It doesn’t seem very fair to ask them to pay for me to stay here another week when I know for sure I’m staying here.”

Kane appeared uncomfortable, “Maybe wait until you hear from her.”

“Maybe. I guess I’ve already asked, but one more week is not going to make a difference. It’s just dragging out me telling them really.”

Susanna was focused on her screen and did not notice the wavering smile that had faded on Kane’s lips.  His expression was pensive as he continued to put away the dishes in the small kitchen.  Afterwards, they both went to the living room and sat before the fire.

Susanna watched Kane from the corner of her eye as she closed her laptop.  She could sense something was different and yet she couldn’t quite put her finger on what.  He was just as attentive, just as loving and yet at times she could swear he wasn’t meeting eyes with her.  He would pleasantly smile when he was asked a question or laugh at a remark but she couldn’t help but feel he was holding something back.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, rubbing her hand along his leg.

“Of course,” he smiled without raising his eyes to her.

“I feel like something is bothering you … like something is off,” she narrowed her eyes at him.

Kane finally raised his eyes to hers, “Everything is fine, Susanna.”

She wasn’t convinced, “Are you worried about my rant earlier? 
About the work stuff and my parents?”

Kane hesitated, “I don’t like that I’m cause for turmoil in your life.”

“It’s not you, it’s the situation.”

“I’m the situation,” he cut her off.

“My job will get over it and my parents will get use to it. It’s as simple as that.”

“Your life, if you chose to live it under these circumstances, will never be simple again,” Kane shook his head.

Susanna was frustrated, “I shouldn’t have even told you …”

“I just worry that you
’re making this decision too quickly,” Kane tried to reason with her.

“If I went back home for a year my decision would still be the same
. I would always come back.  I’d be miserable anywhere else if I knew that you were here alone every night.  The only way I wouldn’t want to be here is if
you
weren’t here, and that’s never going to happen.” 

Kane reached out to rub the back of her neck, “Enough.  Let’s not think of tomorrow.”
  He guided her face towards his and kissed her gently.  “I don’t like you mad at me.”

“No more doubt, okay?” she pleaded with a smile.

Kane nodded, “No more doubt.”

H
ours later as dawn approached, Kane left Susanna in front of the fire after telling he wanted to secure the door to the tower due to the coming storm.  Susanna was sleepy and nodded to him as he disappeared around the corner.  She rolled to her back to look out the window for the first signs of light.  Seeing none and silently grateful for the last few minutes she would have with him she rolled back towards the fire and waited for his return.  Within minutes he was back, lying beside her. 

“Fixed?” she asked with a yawn.

“Fixed,” he murmured.

Susanna felt his arm slide around her waist as he pulled her closer to him, “No matter what, you know how much I love you, don’t you, Susanna?”

She smiled, “I do.”

“I just want you to be happy and have the life you deserve.”

“I will,” she patted his arm, “That life is with you.”

She felt Kane kiss the back of her head and nuzzle into her neck.

“I love you,” his voice was soft and cracked with emotion.

“I love you
. I’ll be fine, it’s only a few hours,” she said as she attempted to blink away the sleep that threatened to overcome her.

Kane was silent for a few moments before simply saying, “Sleep Susanna.”