Etched (13 page)

Chapter 22

They spent the afternoon outside in the brisk but bright afternoon sun.  They again walked the length of the island and actually ventured up into the tower for the first time since her fall.  It was not quite as daunting and creepy in the daylight.  Once they reached the top she was amazed at the distance she could see across the water.  The cars and buildings in town looked like miniatures from her view.  She could clearly make out Emma’s Bed and Breakfast with the flag flying high above the small cottage.  She remembered her solitary night she spent there and the first time she had seen the bright lamp of the lighthouse from her window.  Little did she know what that light would bring into her naïve little world.  The wind whipped around them as they stood in the small circular gallery.

Susanna looked at the massive lamp encased in aged glass, “So this is what does it?  This is what brings you here every
night … to me?”

Kane nodded, “It is.”

“Bill told me that have had dozens of people work on it to try to fix it and that it has a mind of its own.”

“It worked when I first saw it.  I was freezing in that water, nearly immobile with the pain and scarcely able to lift my arms to swim.  I just kept swimming towards the light, thinking that if I made it, everything would be okay,” Kane looked over the edge and pointed to the jagged rocks below, “Little did I know I had
that
waiting for me.”

Susanna peered over the edge at the rocks, “I don’t know how you did it.”

Kane shook his head, “I was unwilling to die until I knew Liam and Rayna were safe.”  After a few seconds he continued on, “When the keeper saw me at the door, I think he thought I was a ghost.  I was pale and nearly frozen solid, I must have looked like death.  I was able to tell him our predicament and bless him he immediately put on his coat and went after them.  It was a horrible night with a winter storm already hitting during a frigid time for this area.” 

“So what did you do?” she asked.

“I wanted to go, demanded to go with him but the old man said no.  He told me it was more dangerous to have someone out there that was already wounded and ill,” Kane lifted his hands, “My hands were bloodied from the rocks, nearly torn to shreds from climbing.”

Susanna shook her head as if to erase the thoughts he evoked.

“So he went out there alone to save Liam and Rayna.  And he did, but not before losing his own life,” Kane shook his head in sadness.

“So you were here and nobody knew it?”

“No.  And when the keeper left he took the only boat from the island.  Even if I had found the strength to walk to the dock there would have been no way to escape.  And the storm just got worse and worse.  I would have never made it to the mainland in that weather.  So I just waited, thinking that I would get better and they would come for me.”

“How long did you make it?”

“I have no idea.  I was delirious with pain and hypothermia.  I was tired and confused and my body began shutting down from the moment I jumped in the water.”

Susanna wrapped her arms around him, “And you relive that every night you go back?”

Kane’s hand buried in her hair and he held her tightly against him, “Yes.”

“
But you have no memory of being here with me when you go back?”

“No
. But the second my feet touch the ground when this lamp pulls me forward, I do.  It all comes back to me.”

“Thank God for that,” Susanna said, “As crazy as it may be, that is the one saving grace to all of this madness.”

“I wish that I did have my memories from here when I went back to that night, it might make dying a little easier,” Kane laughed but the seriousness of his statement resonated.

“We have to find a way to stop this,” Susanna took his hand and pressed it to her face, “
We have to.”  She was thoughtful for a moment before continuing, “Emma asked me today if I was prepared for the outcome if we did find a way to stop it.”

“What outcome?”

“She asked if I was prepared to never see you again if the curse was broken and you died in your time, forever,” Susanna shivered in fear, “I told her that as long as you didn’t suffer anymore in your time that I would have to make peace with that and be okay with it.”  She looked up at him, “I would suffer way more than you if that is the outcome.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you would have no memory of me to miss as you were dying, and I would be left here with nothing but memories of you and no way to ever see you again.”

Kane kissed her forehead, “It is a possibility, Susanna.”

“I know.  But there is also a possibility of never breaking this curse at all.”

“That is the worst outcome for me
.”

“Why is that?” Susanna questioned.

“Stuck in this abyss of a journey that goes nowhere?  Without you, without the hope of human contact ever again.”

“Why without me?” she stopped him, “I’ll stay
. I’ll be here every night you return.”

“And leave your family and job and your
entire life behind?  I can’t allow that, Susanna.”

“You don’t have a choice,” she shook her head
adamantly, “It’s my choice.”

“You can’t mean that.  Think about what you
’re saying,” Kane pleaded with her.

“I have thought about it.  I’ll quit my job and move here.  I’ll find something to do to make what little money we need in town.  Emma would allow me to live here, I know she would …”

“Susanna,” Kane cut her off, “You deserve more of a life than I can give you.”

“But that’s the life I want,”
Susanna was unwavering in her response, “I’ll stay here and wait on you every night of your life until I am old and gray.”

Kane shook his head, “You
’re an obstinate woman, Susanna Shaw,” Kane took her hand and led her from the tower down the stairs, “No more talk of the future, let’s just live for today.”

Kane and Susanna went downstairs and stoked the fire in the fireplace before Susanna went in the kitchen and started to prepare spaghetti for dinner.  Kane went outside to chop more firewood while Susanna watched him from the window.  He also tended to the sheep and secured the shutters against the storm that appeared to be slowly approaching from the east.  They ate their dinner without speaking a word of their circumstances and stood side by side as they cleaned the few dishes.  Afterwards they went to the living room where Susanna turned on her music and played a few songs they could dance to ranging from Frank Sinatra to Sting.  She asked him about the music from his time and he told her that he remembered dancing to the song
By the Light of the Silvery Moon
shortly before he and his brother had sailed from Boston.  She easily found it on iTunes and downloaded it to Kane’s utter amazement. 

“Teach me how to dance the way you did,” she said, holding up her hands.  Kane walked into her embrace and showed her the steps to a gentle waltz.  She was astounded at his gracefulness as he led her through the steps of the formal dance.  She imagine
d herself in a full gown as she danced with him in a ballroom. 

“You’re smiling at me,” Kane whispered as he swept her across the room with the fluidity of a performer.

“I’m just imagining us back in your time, dancing like this in a ballroom,” Susanna smiled.

“
Oh you are?  Well, there would be no cars, only horse pulled carriages, no running hot water and very little medical care.  The streets would be horribly polluted with various refuge and horse manure.  There would be no days and nights to be dallied away because we would be poor due to the fact that I’m am a furniture maker instead of a solicitor or bank mogul.  And you would probably die young due to giving birth to our dozen or so children considering there wouldn’t be adequate medical care to keep you healthy.  Does that sound at all pleasant to you?”

Susanna closed her eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry, all I heard was something about having a dozen of your children.”

Kane grinned at her, “You’re impossible.”

“Insatiable?”

“Ravenous,” Kane growled playfully near her ear.

“Starving,” she whispered
in return.

Kane pulled away from her, “How long has it been?”

“Too long,” she shook her head.

“Quantify
,” he challenged.

She rolled her eyes impassively, “Two years … or so.”

Kane made an ill fated attempt to hide his shock, “Only two?”

“I dated a guy about a year ago, his name was Rob.  He was a nice enough guy, lived in my building but we never quite clicked … in that particular area.”

Kane chuckled, “Interesting way to put it.”

“You know what I mean.  We went out, had dinner and stuff.  He was always really, really nice and it was fun to hang around with him but it just wasn’t there.”

“So two years?” Kane mused.

Susanna looked up towards the ceiling, “It could be longer.  Once it got past a certain point it got too depressing so I quit counting.  What about you?” Susanna looked up at him with doe eyes but there was a hint of playfulness on her lips.

Kane gave her a knowing grin, “It’s been a while,” he dipped his head and ran his teeth along her neck, “I lost count myself but since I’ve met you I’ve started counting the
seconds.”

Susanna’s head fell back, “The future of that particular endeavor is in your capable hands.”

“You jest but you know my reasons.  What happened today is a clear example of why.”

Susanna sighed, “Do you think that one act alone will make it
all that much worse when you’re away?”

“I’m not worried about when I
’m away in the past, I have no memory of my future, remember?”

Susanna was confused, “So what are you worried about?”

“I’m worried for the day when you’re not here with me … in the present.  That could be fifty years from now or it could be tomorrow.”

“It won’t be tomorrow,” she answered confidently.

“And what if you become pregnant?  How will you explain your condition to your family and friends?” his eyebrows raised in question.

Susanna flushed a little at his question but answered it head on, “There are ways around that.”

“And do those ways exist in this house?  In your bags?” he pointed to the bathroom.

She bit her lower lip, “No … not at this exact moment
. But it could be taken care of in the future.”

“
A future is the one thing I feel sure that I have and yet there is an irrefutable fact about it.  If you decide to stay and greet me here every night I come through that door,” he pointed to the bolted wooden door that led to the tower, “there will be a day when you’re not here.  You are not immune to time as I have been.  You will age and grow sick and die one day Susanna, and I will mourn you for eternity, alone in this house once again.”

It was the one simple fact in her entire scenario that she had not considered.  What would happen as she aged and he stayed thirty-one forever?  The thought caused her
a great deal of sadness and she instantly sought to lighten the mood, “I can’t imagine you would want to spend your youth with an old woman.  My mom has aged beautifully but my dad’s side of the family is pretty scary.” 

Kane smile
d at her attempt at humor, “I would carry you around this house when you’re too frail to move and worship you until your final day, but you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” she stood on her tip toes and kissed him, “I just hate to think about what our life will be like in fifty years
, which is really a shame.  When you fall in love you’re suppose to fantasize about what your future will be like with the one you love.”

“If you fell in love with a normal man, yes,”
Kane twirled her around in a circle as the song ended.

“
Well, guess what?  I never was into normal.”

“Lucky me
,” Kane grinned broadly.

Chapter 23

They danced and made each other laugh in the glow of the firelight in the small living room.  As the hour got late and the clock chimed 4
:00 a.m., Kane forced Susanna into her pajamas and convinced her it was time to sleep.  He slipped into his cotton pants and joined her under the covers, immediately wrapping around her for warmth. 

“I
t was a nice day … well, the majority of it was nice,” Susanna said as she snuggled into his chest. 

“
It was as perfect of a day I’ve had my entire life,” Kane answered in the darkness, “And I’ve been around a while.”

Susanna smiled at his ever present humor, “I’m not sure how we
’re going to top this tomorrow.”

“If I’m granted another day, I’m sure we’ll find a way.”

Susanna sighed at his
if
.  She found his hand in the darkness and entwined her fingers in his.  She traced the outline of his hand, slowly running through the slopes of his fingers and back up again.  He spread his hand wide for her and she dipped her finger to his palm and traced a slow and deliberate figure eight there.  That slight touch was intoxicatingly erotic given his demand for physical distance in the bedroom.  To her surprise, he in turn traced the outline of her fingers, repeating the pattern she had done moments before. 

“What are you thinking about?” he whispered, their faces inches apart.

Susanna didn’t answer him, but took his hand and placed it over her heart that was beating wildly.  She pressed his hand hard into her chest, holding it there with her own, rolling to her back as she did. 

She lifted her hand and rested her arm over her eyes to try and calm herself, letting the other one fall to her side.  Kane
held his hand in place for a few moments before trailing it upward toward her face.  His thumb swept over her full lips in the darkness. He propped up on an elbow and pulled her closer to him before leaning towards her open mouth.  His kiss was gentle and seductive, slow and passionate and left her lightheaded.  She didn’t move a muscle as he hovered over her, his mouth devouring her until she was winded with hunger. 

“Are you alive?” he asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I’m scared to move, I’ve already been chastised for my boldness … and”

“And what?” his mouth dipped to her throat where he ran his tongue in circles over the vein
that pounded there. 

“And frankly, I’m not sure how much more I can take
. I feel like I’m going to die,” her voice was barely a whisper.

Kane’s mouth curled into a smile
against her neck, “I don’t think anyone has died from desire, Susanna, or am I mistaken?”

“I think I might be the first,” she answered, her entire body covered in chills from his touch.

Kane chuckled as his lips moved back to hers, “I haven’t touched another human for a century,” he whispered against her open mouth, “I’m just enjoying the sensation of your skin against mine,” his lips recaptured hers, more demanding this time causing Susanna to moan deep in her throat, “and the taste of you,” he said as he pulled away. 

“
This isn’t fair,” she whispered weakly.

Kane slipped his free roaming hand under her shirt, “Nothing about my life is fair.”

Susanna shivered as his fingers crept across her stomach and moved slowly upward until they lightly traced the curve of her breast before circling its taut peak.

Susanna lifted her hands to his shoulders but he stopped her with his
deep and formidable voice, “Don’t … Don’t move at all.”

“Why?” she whimpered.

“I want to be in complete control of my self-discipline,” Kane whispered, his lips touching hers, “So, your hands stay down.”

“Not fair,” she said again, her body shivering as his fingers still traced and cupped her gently.

“No,” Kane answered, hovering over her.  Her vision was now adjusted to the darkness of the room and she could make out his features in the bright light of the full moon cascading through the window. His eyes were sharp and assessing, boldly holding hers in the shadows.  She did as she was told and lowered her arms to her sides.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Susanna swallowed hard, her resolve crumbling, the chills across her body betraying her since she felt she was consumed by fire.  His fingers became bolder, his touch more powerful as he explored her body.  Susanna could feel his breathing become more laborious and unsteady and all the while she forced herself to lie perfectly still.  His hands slipped under her back and lifted her up against him and traced downward under her hips.  Impulsively she arched against the bed and raised her left leg.

“Careful,” he scolded her softly, his voice a throaty whisper, “I already tempt myself more than a body should allow and that,” he traced his hand along the curve of her leg, “feels like an invitation.”

“You have to stop, I can’t …” she stumbled over her words.

Kane pressed his lips gently to hers, “Breath, Susanna.”

“How can you … endure this?” she asked him, trembling slightly as his fingers traced her stomach where the loose waist of her pants rested.

Kane
’s mouth sensually moved over hers in between his answers, “I want to touch you, taste you, feel your warm soft body.”

“How can you not want more?”

Kane smiled against her lips, “I want more, Susanna.”

“You’re killing me,” she answered, her teeth tugging at his lower lip.

Kane pulled away from her, his tongue ran slowly over his lip where her teeth had left their mark.  He leaned down and kissed her gently, “It’s never my intent to cause you pain.”

“You are,” she answered, her voice heavy with frustration.

Kane slid his finger under the band of her pants, testing their flexibility.  Susanna raised her hips as he did, drawing her left leg up even more.

“Pain
?” he whispered, his mouth on hers, “Where?” his hand slid inside the front of her pants, his fingers sliding across her pelvis and lower until he found what he sought.  With agonizingly slow precision his finger slid inside of her.  She raised her hips up to meet him.

Kane let out a guttural groan of pleasure, his lips hovering above hers, “Is this where you ache?” he taunted gently as he moved
skillfully.

Susanna gasped for air, her hips rising off the bed and meeting every stroke of his fingers.

“You’re so warm,” Kane growled against her mouth.

Susanna’s mind was spinning, the familiar pressure building, when she reached for him.  Her arms slipped around his shoulders, tugging his face closer when suddenly he stopped.  Through her haze of pleasure she could see him looking up towards the window and he
r first thought was that everything was brighter than it was a few moments before. She saw Kane look down at her, a tormented look spreading across his face.

“No …” he whispered, “No … no … no.”

Susanna opened her mouth to answer him when to her horror he started to fade from her view.  Before she could even form a single word he was gone.

She sat up in bed and reached for him as if she could stop the forces that were pulling him away, “Kane!” she cried out in
desperation but it was met by thin air.

Susanna screamed
aloud in anguish, her voice piercing the dawn as it tumbled into the empty room.  She jumped from the bed and ran from the room towards the wooden bolted door that led to the tower.  Flinging it open she took the steps two at a time.  Her chest was heaving under the pressure, her lungs crying out with pain, when she reached the top.  She flung open the door to the gallery and was met with the icy cold wind of the empty space.  She screamed again, an agonizing sound that echoed across the island before sinking to her knees on the cold stone floor.  Curled into a ball she laid on the floor of the tower crying until the first drops of rain began to fall and drove her back inside. 

No matter where she looked in the tiny cottage she saw him and it felt as if her heart was being torn
from her chest.  She couldn’t eat or drink as she went from room to room sobbing at the loss of him.  The rain pelting the windows of the cottage did nothing but echo her sadness.  She had never been more miserable in her life.  She reached for the phone, dialing Emma’s number.  When the woman answered all Susanna could do was sob into the phone.  Emma knew, without having to ask, what had brought on her distress.

“I’m so sorry my dear,” Emma said in an attempt to sooth her, “Remember to be thankful for every second he is with you.”

“I thought since he was here the last two days that this part was over at least.”

“There is no reason for this madness that he lives with every day,” Emma answered
, “Tell me what I can do for you dear.”

“Bring him back,” Susanna let out an almost hysterical laugh through her tears.

“If I could I would make all this go away, you know I would.  I have been meditating on this for ages and I just can’t seem to break through the barrier that makes it clear to me.”

“I know you would Emma,” Susanna said, “I guess I just
needed to vent to the one person in the world that knows our situation.”

“I’ll listen to you all day if you want.  I’ll even have Bill bring me over there if you want company.”

“No, not in this weather.  But I appreciate the offer,” Susanna was forcing herself to sound calm so that Emma would be less concerned for her welfare.

“I know it doesn’t help to hear it right now, but he is just a few hours away from returning,” Emma reminded her gently.

“I know you’re right, but at this moment five minutes without him seems like an eternity.”

“I wish I could do something else to help you.  I feel completely useless.”

“As do I,” Susanna answered.