Eternal Flame (Eternal Flame #1) (13 page)

Kristen casually shrugged and took another sip. Joy quizzically looked at her. “What about Diego?”

Kristen almost choked on her coffee. She wiped a drizzle of the liquid off her lips and assessed Joy. “What do you mean?”

“Are you going to tell Roman you went out with him last night?”

“He already knows.”

“So, what happened with you and Diego? Did you guys have a good time?”

“We did.”

“Are you seeing him again?”

“Yes. Today.”

“What did you guys do last night?”

“We went out to eat. We went to see a movie. We kissed.” Kristen paused as she sipped more coffee. “Several times.”

Joy slapped her hard on the arm, shaking some of her coffee out of the cup. “What?”

Kristen averted her eyes away from her and Joy teasingly frowned at her. “Slut.”

“Don’t go there.”

“Why would you kiss him knowing how you feel about Roman?”

“I don’t know Joy! I got caught up in the moment. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. And, I was trying to see if I’d feel something but I didn’t. He’s a good kisser but it didn’t take my mind off Roman. I feel bad I did it though, because I know Diego really, really likes me.”

Joy shook her head. “Kristen-“

“Don’t start with me Joy. Especially with the mess you’ve made for yourself. So you tell me Ms. Three o’ clock in the morning. What did you and Beau do last night?”

Joy avoided her eyes and greedily gulped her coffee, almost choking herself as it went down the wrong pipe.

“Joy,” Kristen said in a warning tone.

Joy looked around the room and ruefully twisted her mouth.

Kristen closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose. “Noooooo.”

“Yes.”

“You slept with him? You slept with Beau?”

Joy slowly nodded and tried to hide a smile. “I fucked his brains out. Or rather he fucked mine out.” She touched her hand to her head and playfully rubbed.

Kristen looked Joy over and noticed for the first time she was still wearing her dress from the day before.

“Jesus, Joy.”

“Don’t start Kristen, don’t start.”

Kristen put her hands up, pursed her lips, and shook her head, letting it go. “Where did you guys do it at?” she asked Joy.

“At his house.”

“Does he have a nice house?”

Joy deliciously smiled and turned her eyes skyward. “Didn’t really notice Kris. Wasn’t paying attention, considering. I mean, I guess.”

Kristen shook her head. “So where do you guys go from here?”

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to see Damian this afternoon.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“Do you think Beau will tell him?”

“Hell no.”

“Well, do you still like Damian after sleeping with Beau last night or have your feelings changed?”

“The weird thing is… they’re more intense for Damian as ever.”

“What?”

“Seriously! I don’t understand it. I couldn’t stop thinking about him all morning. Even all night last night after me and Beau did it.”

“Why do you have to make your life so damn difficult?”

“I know, right?”

“How many times did you do it?”

“Just once. Once, that’s it. Honest.”

“Well, so much for not fucking on the first date.” Kristen mischievously looked at her and smiled. “So, how was it? Inquiring minds want to know.”

Joy paused dramatically. “Fucking fantastic! He was rough girl and you know I like it rough! All that built up sexual tension just poured out of him like hot lava.”

“Dayyyummmm…”

The two girls shared a hysterical laugh. Kristen stopped and sympathetically looked at her. “Seriously Joy. What are you going to do?”

Joy’s doe eyes held hers. She sadly shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Kristen took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“What are you going to do?” Joy countered.

Kristen sadly smiled. “I don’t know.”

“Do you still like Diego?”

“Not as much as I did before spending all that time with Roman.”

“Then why did you kiss him? Was it just that you didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or-“

“No, no. It wasn’t just that. I do like him still. Just not as much as I like Roman.”

Joy squeezed her hand back. “Welcome to the world of making your life difficult.” She looked down at her waist as her phone vibrated in its holster. She pulled it out and looked at it. Her eyes brightened as she looked at Kristen. “It’s Damian,” she mouthed.

Kristen waved for her to go ahead and Joy kissed her on the cheek before getting up off the bed and leaving the room. She put the phone on her shoulder and grabbed the door handle with her free hand. “Hi baby,” she cooed as the door closed. 

Kristen shook her head and got up off the bed, setting her cup down on the night-stand. She shuffled into the adjoining bathroom and turned on the light before going to the toilet to relieve herself. After she washed her hands, she grabbed her toothbrush from her travel bag, put some toothpaste on it, and began quickly brushing her teeth. She stared at herself in the mirror as she brushed, marveling at how much her life had changed in less than 24 hours.

After taking a long, hot shower, Kristen agonized over what to wear for thirty minutes before finally settling on a short pink lace strapless sundress and a pair of strappy 3” white sandals with a gladiator wedge. The shoes gave her ass just the extra bump she needed and the sundress accentuated her enviable curves. The heels added height to her short frame and complimented her shapely legs. She decided to let her naturally curly hair air dry and put it up in a high loose ponytail, with a few tendrils hanging loose around the frame of her face. She wanted a natural look so she declined wearing makeup and instead put on a thin coat of sheer lip gloss. 

She finished getting ready just as there was a knock on the door. She almost jumped out of her skin and willed herself to calm down. Grabbing her purse and phone off the dresser in her room, she walked into the living-room. She didn’t go to the door right away because her knees were shaking so bad. She was glad she had some time alone to gather herself. Joy had left to join her mother downstairs for the free complimentary breakfast so she didn’t have to worry about them being in her ear bugging her and giving her unwarranted advice. There was another knock and she silently counted down from one to ten before continuing to the door. She grabbed her umbrella out of the hall closet in case it rained; then stood at the door counting again. She gathered herself together and blew through her lips, bracing herself as she opened the door.

Her eyes widened with excited lust as she gawked at him. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Forget a dream; had she ever see an orgasm walking? Because that’s what that beautiful man looked like standing on the other side of that door. He was wearing another v-neck shirt, this one ocean-blue, which showed off the mouth-watering patch of wavy hair at the top of his shirt like the one he’d worn the day before. He had on a light beige jacket, a pair of relaxed blue jeans, and brown leather walking shoes. His hair was still wet and combed back off of his forehead. The thin hair on his cheeks and above his lip looked so tasty and immaculate she wanted to run her tongue through it. The man was beyond gorgeous and could make a simple outfit look sinful. Even with her heels on, he towered over her 5’6 inch frame and she loved the feeling of vulnerability it gave her.

Roman didn’t speak to her at first, just slowly scanned her from head to toe with narrowed, penetrating eyes. His eyes looked like they were about to bug out of his head as he looked at her and it made her heart soar. When he finally looked into her eyes again, her insides quivered with a desire that was almost excruciating. She wondered if he felt too.

Roman licked his full lips and blinked a few times. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “Hi,” he said in a strange, high voice. “Hi.” He pulled her out of the suite and closed the door. “Hi.”

Kristen weirdly looked at him. “Hi.”

His eyes focused on her hiked up breasts and he blinked fast again. He looked into her almond-shaped eyes and gave her a delicious smile, showing off his bearded dimples. “You ready?”

“Of course.”

He reached his hand out to her and she readily took it, steeling herself against her racing pulse. His hand felt strong, soft, and so good in hers.

Roman glanced down at their adjoined hands and slightly smiled before turning and walking to the elevator. He pushed the down button and turned to her, still holding her hand. “It’s good to see you,” he huskily replied.

That damn voice of his.

The ride to the restaurant was short and sweet. They rode in comfortable silence as they listened to an easy listening station. When they arrived at the restaurant, Roman exited the Hummer, came around to her side, and helped her out. Kristen looked at him in pleasant surprise as he took her hand again, holding it as they walked inside the restaurant.

They were seated promptly and ordered their drinks and food. Kristen looked around the restaurant as they waited. It was cozy and laid-back with contemporary tables and chairs and pictures of old Hollywood movie stars and yesteryear musical greats like Frank Sinatra and Billie Holliday on the walls. Kristen appreciated Roman taking her there. It was definitely a better choice than the hole in the wall he’d taken her to the previous night.

Kristen shifted in her chair as she felt Roman’s leg bump against hers and quickly grabbed her glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, greedily taking a sip.

“What time are you leaving Sunday?”

Kristen looked up to see Roman keenly looking at her. He was leaned back in his chair with one arm on the table, mindlessly playing with a pack of sugar as he waited on her to answer. She sat her glass back on the table and leaned back in her own chair, getting comfortable. “We’re not leaving Sunday anymore. We’re staying until Monday.”

Roman’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “Oh?” He sat up and took a sip of his own juice, gulping most of it down. “What are you plans, outside of today and tomorrow?”

Kristen nervously chewed her lip. She pondered whether or not to tell him about Diego but decided it was not the right time yet. “Nothing in particular,” she casually said.

Roman assessed her and leaned back in his chair again, drumming his nails on the table. “Kristen…”

Roman cut himself off at his phone began to ring. He looked down at it on the table and grimaced. He picked it up, hit the ignore button, and slammed it back on the table face down. Kristen blandly stared at it, her chest constricting with jealousy. She knew it was that girl calling him back again and she hated it. She didn’t have proof that it was a girl but the way his phone had been endlessly ringing the last couple of days…

Roman cleared his throat and started again. “Kristen.”

She attentively looked at him.

“That song I let you hear last night,” he earnestly began, “I started it two years ago. I never finished it, and I haven’t written a song since. Last night when I left you and went home, I tried to watch TV for a while, but I couldn’t get the song out of my head. It was like it kept calling me. I put it on and I listened to it a few times. Then I sat down at my dining-room table and started writing. Once I started, I couldn’t stop.”

His eyes were intense as they held hers.  “I wrote all night, all the way up until six this morning. I made myself go to sleep for an hour; then I woke up and started writing again. The crazy thing is, I’m not even tired. I feel rejuvenated.” He leaned across the table. “I wrote twenty-one songs.
Twenty-one
. Kristen, I haven’t written a song in two years. I never had a desire to. I was starting to fear I’d never write again. Then I met you and…” His voice trailed off. He swallowed hard and nervously took a sip of water.

“Anyway I wanted you to know that.” He looked down at the table and tightly rubbed his lips together.

Kristen emotionally looked at him. Her breath came out in small pants and her hands opened and closed beneath the table. She wanted to cry but she didn’t dare. Her mind was blown. This man had started writing again because of her. Because of her! She inspired him. And he wanted her to know it.

Emotions Kristen never knew existed flowed through her body like liquid heat. Her core tightened. Hope danced and did cartwheels in her chest. This was all happening so fast. So fast she couldn’t wrap her mind around it. But she was thankful. It was amazing. Roman Dean had started writing again because of her. She made Roman Dean feel things; she had broken through the darkness that had held him captive for two years of his life.

In that moment, she knew what she wanted. She had to call Diego and tell him the truth.

Roman looked up at her and Kristen swallowed the cry forming in her throat. The look in his eyes had changed. His eyes were no longer vacant and tormented. They held life. Renewal. Appreciation. Hunger. It was the same hunger she had almost witnessed the night before but it was more intense. More primal. And it could only mean one thing…

They both involuntarily jumped as the phone began ringing again.

“Gotdamnit,” he viciously swore as he yanked the phone up. He hit ignore and slammed it down again.

“Is that your ex?” Kristen quietly asked him.

He hesitantly looked at her for a second then nodded in the affirmative. “Yes.”

“Does she want you back?”

A pregnant pause. “Yes.”

Kristen swallowed hard and pushed a stray curl out of her eye. She avoided looking at him as she asked the next question. “Do you want her back?”

Just then, the waitress brought their food over and the subject was dropped. They blessed their food in joined silence then began eating. The phone rang again and Roman groaned angrily. He picked it up and shut it off. He placed it in his holster and resumed eating. Kristen lost her appetite and moved her food around on her plate. Roman noticed the tension on her face and reached over to softly touch her hand.

“It’s been over for a year,” he softly insisted. “Really.”

The fact that he felt he should explain himself to her was bewildering but reassuring.

“She broke your heart.” It was a statement.

Roman took his hand away and sipped his juice. “She did.”

“What happened?”

He started eating again and didn’t answer.

This time she touched his hand. He stopped and looked up at her, his eyes leery. “Tell me,” she gently urged him. “Please.”

Roman sat his fork down on his plate and finished the rest of his juice in a slow gulp. He placed the empty glass to his forehead and closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. “I was gonna marry her,” he momentarily began. “We were engaged after about a year of dating. Not long after I proposed, she told me she was pregnant. A few months into the pregnancy, she went into premature labor on my birthday last year. The baby didn’t survive.”

Roman placed his glass on the table then wearily leaned against the table on his elbows and put his mouth on his hands. He sighed heavily into them and squeezed his eyes shut. Kristen could tell the pain was still eating him alive and her heart went out to him. She put her hand on top of his and tenderly ran her fingers over his face. He stiffened but he didn’t move.

He sighed heavily again and continued. “Not long after that, she admitted to me she was in love with someone else and didn’t want me anymore. The baby was his. She had a funeral for the baby and even though I’d been her man for almost two years, even though I’d believed all that time the baby was mine, she wouldn’t let me come to the funeral. She wouldn’t let me come to the funeral.
She wouldn’t let me come to the funeral
.
She wouldn’t let me
…”

He stopped and sat up suddenly, hitting the table hard. Kristen jumped but kept her hand on his. She looked around at the other patrons and they were staring curiously, some of them whispering and pointing. She ignored them and continuing rubbing Roman’s hand, coaxing him on.

“I can’t even begin to tell you what that did to me,” he said in a haunted tone, his eyes dimmed with hurt as he stared into space. “That almost took me out of here for real. It nearly killed me. Not just because of the baby’s death. Not just because she’d cheated. But it was the way she behaved afterwards. She was so cavalier about everything. She stopped talking to me. She wouldn’t return my calls. She blocked my number.” He stopped and shook his head, rubbing his eyes hard with his fingers. “A couple of months ago, I felt like I was finally getting my life back. Getting to some new kind of normal, finding my way again. I still couldn’t write anything but the guys and I started working on new music and it rejuvenated me. Excited me. We came up with this contest idea and I thought it was fantastic. Then, a few weeks ago, she started calling again.

              “I’m not going to lie. I talked to her. I missed her. I really did. In spite of everything, I felt like I wanted her back in my life. I even entertained the idea of getting back with her. But now…” He adamantly shook his head.

“So you don’t want her back?”

His eyes were tender as he looked at her. “No.”

Kristen unflinchingly regarded him. “What changed your mind?”

Roman started past her head for a minute; then looked at her. “Common sense,” he finally said. “Growth. Knowing better. Accepting her for who and what she is. She hurt me bad Kristen. So bad. Women like that don’t change. I don’t ever want to go through that again, with anyone. Ever again. I honestly don’t think I could survive that kind of betrayal again.”

“What was it?” she whispered. “The baby?”

Pain shone in Roman’s eyes again. His bottom lip trembled and he bit it to keep it still. “A boy,” he choked out.

Unexpected tears formed in Kristen’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Roman.”

He solemnly smiled at her and uncomfortably looked around the room. He looked back at her and lightly shrugged. “Me too.”

Their eyes found one another again. A newfound level of respect, commonality, and understanding passed between them. They soon started eating again, letting the subject go for the moment. They ate in restored silence.

“You look very pretty,” he suddenly said.

Kristen looked up at him, her eyes wide and bright. “Huh?”