Eternal Seduction (12 page)

Trinity sighed, long and loud. “I don’t really expect you to. Just keep this in mind, if he was so bad do you think I’d call him Dad? Or that Kerestyan would call him Father? That should really tell you all you need to know.”

Logan stood and narrowed her eyes on Trinity. She’d called someone dad once too, but in the end, he’d been anything but. “I don’t care what you call him. You’re not in my shoes right now, and I’m not in yours. After talking to you, I understand a little better why I can’t go back to my old life. For you, as a vampire, it’s all about your survival. I can respect that, but I don’t have to like the situation your need for survival has put
me
in.”

“I understand. I don’t expect you to like what’s happening. I didn’t like being plucked out of my bed one night six thousand years ago and being turned into a vampire, either. Like I said, none of us Nelek kids got a choice when it came to immortality. But each of us makes the best of it, and to this day I don’t regret it.”

Logan straightened as Trinity stared into her eyes the way Kerestyan had when they’d first met in the alley. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

She smiled in an eerie way that sent a chill straight down Logan’s spine. “The key to getting through withdrawal, and I know because I’ve been there, is finding the brightest part of your life and holding onto it with everything you have. No matter how much your body hurts, no matter how close you think you are to dying, keep a hold of it and don’t let go.”

Logan blinked at her. She needed to stare at her to come up with that? “Could you be any more ambiguous?

“Believe it or not, yes.” She smiled again, which she seemed to do a lot, and then extended her hand, which Logan accepted. “It was nice to finally meet you. And though I don’t think you need it, good luck. It’ll be nice to have another girl in the family.”

Logan returned the smile. “Thanks for the whole
Servio
explanation, I appreciate it.” She arched a brow when Trinity released her hand then took a few steps back as a cold breeze wafted across the room. “Are you going to disappear, too?”

Trinity’s smile turned into a lopsided grin, very reminiscent of Odin. “Yes, all the Nelek kids can. Oh, and don’t forget to thank Kerestyan for the steak. I did come all the way from Chicago to drop them off.” She winked. “Ordering dinner from seven hundred miles away just to make a girl happy…he must really like you.”

“I don’t think that’s why…”

Trinity disappeared in a burst of wind.

Bitch.
Logan inhaled a deep breath and blew a sigh. It would’ve been a lot easier to go back to the kitchen and face Kerestyan had Trinity kept that last sentence to herself. She liked him, she really did, and he was definitely nice to look at – but she didn’t have any illusions about what was happening between them.

She shook her head as she opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Truthfully, they were both a threat to the other’s survival. He lived his life by blending in with humans, and she lived hers’ by staying as far away from them as possible.

Kerestyan looked up from his steaming goblet of blood as Logan walked back into the kitchen. Her green eyes appeared more distant than usual, but he hadn’t heard any screaming, which meant whatever words Trinity had chosen went over far better than the previous discussion about her addiction.

He picked up the shot glass he’d placed next to the bottle of Vodka she’d requested and tapped it against the table. “You look like you could use a drink.”

She gifted him a faint smile before she curled herself into the chair across from him. “Thank you for the steak.”

He mirrored her gesture. “Trinity told you?”

She nodded as she twisted the cap from the bottle. “Yeah, she said you had it specially delivered from Chicago.”

“Well, someone once told me Chicago had the best steaks. And I said to myself, because I often talk to myself, that you should have the best steak I could procure. So I called and had them flown in.”

Her smile grew a bit. “Oh, really?” She filled the shot glass to the brim. “I heard you sent Trinity on a windy mission spanning 700 miles. Give or take a few.”

He watched as she tipped her head back and swallowed the clear liquid, admiring the graceful, enticing column of her throat. Remembering what it felt like to run his tongue there, how much he’d enjoyed pulling her body against his.

How much he enjoyed her.

“Trinity gave away all my secrets, didn’t she?”

Logan blew out a breath and scrunched up her face. “She might have spilled a few of yours, but she did a pretty good job of sticking to her own. Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me about the teddy bear you sleep with.”

He arched a brow. “But I don’t sleep with a teddy bear. I’ve never even owned one, and I don’t sleep but for a few hours once every six to seven months.”

Her lips finally widened enough to show her white teeth. “I was just checking.” She poured herself another shot, but her perfect smile faded as she stared down at the glass, twisting it between her fingers. “So tell me about Lord Stefan Nelek. Tell me what you think I need to know to make it through this.”

Kerestyan took a sip of his chosen drink then set the blackened goblet back on the table. “He’s very hard to explain. I’ve heard him described as an angel twisted with a nightmare, as a tyrant whose mailed fist hides a velvet glove. But in the same breath, I’ve watched him be called a monster, a creature, a relic who should have met the sun long, long ago. Yet I…I call him Father.”

“Do you love him?” she asked in a quiet voice.

He relaxed in his chair. “That’s an extremely difficult question to answer. Love changes when you become a vampire. It takes on a different texture, a richer but far more complicated hue and taste. I respect him. I obey him. I would follow him into battle and die to protect him and what he represents to me. If, to you, that means I love him, then I would say yes, I love my Father.”

“Do you fear him?”

“No. I believe fear blooms when you either can’t, or choose not to understand something. And while I may not understand each and every way his Ancient mind functions, I understand him enough to know why it is he does the things he does, and why he lives the way he chooses.”

She still didn’t raise her head. “What do I have to do to stop him from killing me?” Her soft voice wavered at the end of the question.

Kerestyan fisted his hands. He hated hearing the fear in her voice, hated feeling it radiate from her body, but despised the thick scent of it even more.

He closed his eyes when, for the second time in her presence, the beast inside him unfurled deep in his stomach. The first time he’d felt it shift, it’d done so from the pure desire ebbing in his blood. From the burning need he’d felt to touch her, to taste her skin mixed with the small, crescent shaped smear of blood just above her lips.

But now it uncoiled in anger, and its focus was no other direction than inward.

Logan may have been a threat to his better sensibilities, but she was not a danger to the vampire population as a whole.

Had he left her in the alley where he’d found her, she wouldn’t be terrified now. Had he not allowed curiosity to cloud his judgment, she’d be in whatever building she called home for the night, continuing to keep the immortal secret she’d stumbled upon. She wouldn’t be sitting across from him now with tears swimming in her beautiful eyes, staring through a glass setting atop a table built long before any human had thought to believe in a single entity called God.

“Kerestyan? If you have any advice, I’d really like to hear it.” The desperate note in her voice tore at his insides.

“Answer the questions he asks you as honestly as possible, Logan. No matter how much you don’t think he’ll like the answer, or how much you don’t like your own answer. If you lie, he’ll know you are before the words ever pass your lips. That’s all you can do. I wish there was more, I truly do. But due to your human state, honesty is all you have to offer him.”

She finished her shot and sat up straight. “Okay. Then that’s what I’ll do.”

He studied her as she spun the cap on the bottle then unfolded her legs from underneath her; watched closely while she carefully pushed the chair in and began walking back towards the hallway to her room.

Leaning forward, Kerestyan rested his elbows on the table. “Logan, can I ask you a question?”

She stopped and slowly turned to face him. “Considering how many I’ve asked you, I suppose you deserve
one
.” The corners of her lips rose slightly, but her smile went no farther.

“What happened to make you see the world the way you do?”

Silence stung the air as she lowered her eyes to the floor. She stared down at the tiles for a few moments before she turned to give him her profile, a breathtaking masterpiece of haunted distance. “There’s a moment when you realize all your worst fears have come true. When the fat girl stuffing her face in the corner finally recognizes food gives her the comfort she can’t find in anyone else. When the gorgeous man with the body of a God realizes he changes women like shoes because he’s scared one won’t find enough reason to stay. When you see the world for what it really is, see it for all the horrors the news can’t or won’t report. There’s a moment when you realize and accept that
you are
the worthless piece of shit your father always said you were, because even a diseased crack-head wouldn’t kill their own sister. It was a moment, Kerestyan, a defining moment…an epiphany of imperfection.”

Kerestyan felt a sting in his chest as tears filled her eyes. The last thing he’d meant to do was conjure a memory that hurt her. He wanted to know more, but he didn’t dare ask. “I’m sorry if my question upset you.”

She wiped a tear away as it fell on her cheek. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.” She slowly approached the table and sat down on the edge closest to him, her eyes searching his face. “Do you ever regret what you are?”

He reached out and took one of her hands in his. Never once, not even by his siblings, had he ever been asked such a question. “No, I can’t say I do. I regret some of the terrible things I’ve done in my past, but I can’t remember a time when I ever felt pity for what I am.” He stilled as she flipped his hand over and traced a warm finger over the faint scar marring his palm. “When I was turned, there was no greater honor than being chosen for immortality. Giving up the sun and the fruit of the land was a small price to pay in return for what I was able to do for my family and my people.”

“Your people?” One corner of her mouth curved up. “You weren’t named Moses in another life, were you?”

He chuckled. “No. I wasn’t Moses.” He laced his fingers between hers and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “I used the gifts my Father’s blood granted me, my superior speed, strength and resilience, to defend my family and my lands. Back then, vampires didn’t hide from humans as we do now. They knew we existed the way they knew it was morning. We, rightfully or not, were cherished. Some of us were worshiped as Gods for our abilities; others didn’t want the sacrifices or glory.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “So that’s why Odin is
Odin
.”

He studied the back of her hand, admiring the intricate framework of light blue veins beneath her soft, pale skin. “Yes.”

“But you were one of the others.”

He nodded as bittersweet memories flickered in his mind. “I didn’t want my name scrawled across the pages of history. I fought for what was right, what I believed in. I wore the armor of a knight, in a time when causes were more than empty words and broken promises.” He raised his head when he felt the heat of Logan’s eyes on him.

Her expression lingered between understanding and puzzlement. “Do you wish you could go back? To those times?”

“Some days I do. Some days I wish I could step into the night and smell clean, crisp air again. Feel a warm breeze on my skin from when the world was fresh and pure, before cars and pollution and smog. But there are other days, mainly during spring and summer, when I walk through this city just after sunset, while the pavement is still hot and I can feel the heat through my shoes. Those days, I marvel at all humanity has accomplished over the last few centuries. Even in its darkest hours, this world still amazes me at times.”

For an instant, her green eyes shimmered with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. But as quickly as it appeared, it faded. She slowly shook her head. “We definitely view the world in a different way. I’m not sure I could ever step outside and feel like that.”

“Why?”

“Because,” she exhaled a fractured breath, “I’ve seen what happens when people think no one’s looking. I’ve seen homeless people killed for no reason. Bums lit on fire by gang members because they think it’s funny.” She lowered her eyes. “I watched a little girl, who couldn’t have been more than six, get shot in her front yard during a drive-by at one o’clock in the morning. I used to ask myself why a kid would be playing outside at that time of night, especially in Brooklyn, but there’s no good answer for it. There’s never a good answer. I think that’s why after a while…I just stopped asking questions.” She sat quiet for a moment before she slipped her hand from his and slid off the table. “I’ll be right back.”

He watched as she walked away and turned down the hallway to her bedroom. Only once in his life had he felt the way she’d described, as if the world around him couldn’t possibly become any darker, filled with any more hate.

It was the night he’d stumbled off a blood soaked battlefield, clutching the mortal wound in his side, only to fall at the feet of the man he now called Father. And the first demand he’d made after pulling his bloody wrist from Kerestyan’s mouth, was that Kerestyan remove the armor he died in – and never put it on again.

Kerestyan pushed the memory aside as Logan walked back into the room carrying the dirty coat he’d found her in. Tears shined in her eyes as she reached into the pocket then set a worn syringe and a small bag of white powder on the table in front of him.

She stared down at the table, her green eyes more distant than ever. “I don’t know how after all this time you can still see the world the way you do. But, if there’s even a small chance that someday I could see it like you do, I don’t want to pass it up.”