Everything Carries Me to You (Axton and Leander Book 3) (63 page)

Two cell phones chimed at once. Axton was the only one who didn't have a phone on him. It was a tough habit to get into, when you were used to running around on four legs through the wilderness.

"See?" New York said, smugly, face bathed in the glow of his phone screen. "She's fine."

"Let's go pick her up before she murders us remotely," Leander said.

"I'm not getting murdered remotely," Axton said. "I didn't do anything. You two are the guys that ran out of the bar."

"You followed," Leander said.

"But at a leisurely pace," Axton said, and he hooked his arm around Leander's as they emerged from the dark, "like so."

They meandered back towards the bar, met Sarah outside, and then everyone went home.

Meaning, in this case, that New York went to Sarah's home.

"I need a drink to recover from my time at the bar," Leander said, as he closed the apartment door behind them.

"No you don't," Axton said "You're just grousing for fun."

"It's less fun if you don't play along," Leander said.

Axton shrugged and fell back against the wall, shaking his hair out so that it settled over one of his eyes.

"I mean, if that's what you want to do with your night," he said, feigning judgmental disappointment.

"Are you sexy posing at me?" Leander asked, drawing closer, but not within touching distance. "Is this a seduction?"

"It's also less fun if you don't play along," Axton said.

"Who says I'm not playing along?" Leander asked, shifting forward and reaching out with one hand, resting it on Axton's hip.

"Oh, I'm supposed to deny it's a seduction? Sure, if that's your fetish."

"Your
face
is my fetish," Leander said, in the same voice he would have used to tell a
your mom!
joke.

"Oh, yeah, well, fuck you too," Axton said, "and your stupid handsome everything."

"Them's fighting words," Leander play-growled, crowding Axton up against the wall.

"Yeah, big man?" Axton baited. "And what are you going to do about it?"

"This, mostly," Leander said, dipping down, yanking on Axton's leg, collapsing his posture so that he could fit Axton's hip over his shoulder. When Leander stood up, he had Axton slung over his shoulders. "And now I stride off towards the bedroom, in the manliest fashion."

"You know, I'd talk shit, but it's really hot when you do that," Axton said, "like it wouldn't be usually, but given that we're basically the same size--"

"Yeah, yeah," Leander said, "this is what your buff guy fetish is for. I know."

"It is not--" Axton started, but then he was being unceremoniously dumped on the bed. Before he could stop himself he was laughing and couldn't manage the right faux-indignant tone he wanted. "Given that graceless transition there, you're going to be docked a few hotness points--"

"That's fine," Leander said with confidence, stripping his shirt off. "I'll still have a good score. I'm going to sleep with the judge."

Axton was going to offer a retort, he really was, but then Leander was on the bed, and then they were busy.

Wolf's schedule: Axton woke up at dawn despite still being in his human shape. He was surprised to see Leander awake already, quiet and pensive in the grey light of early morning.

Axton rolled over and nudged Leander's thigh with his nose to let him know they were both awake now. It was an unconscious mannerism, more canine than human.

"Morning, babe," Leander said, but he seemed distracted. His voice was not rough with sleep--he had been up for a while.

Axton yawned. Was something wrong? He hoped there was nothing wrong. He was too well fucked and sleepily content to deal with a crisis right now. Reluctantly, he sat up, sheets pooling around him.

"Morning," he replied.

Leander risked a smile.

"Your hair is adorable and fucked," he said.

Axton scrubbed a hand through it.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"I like it," Leander said.

"I like you," Axton said, squinting his eyes as he scratched his scalp some more, "but you have something on your mind."

Obligingly, Leander reached out to scratch behind Axton's ears.

"I do," he said simply.

Axton flopped across Leander.

"Mm?" he inquired, vague but encouraging.

Leander laughed.

"You're in no shape for a serious discussion," he said.

"So it
is
serious," Axton said, and he sat up immediately.

"Oh, trickery," Leander allowed. "I didn't expect that from you. At least, not right now."

"I'm awake," Axton said.

"But so cuddly," Leander said, reluctant.

"Easy enough to solve," Axton said.

They shifted around a little, until they sat cross legged, facing each other with some space between them.

"Well now it's extra serious," Leander said. "Fancy. All this ceremony."

"Come on, hit me," Axton said. "I know when you're winding up for a mood breaker."

Leander made a sweet little disgruntled noise.

"No, really," Axton said, "go for it."

There was silence in the bedroom. The sun rose a bit higher in the sky as they waited.

"There's something sick about cities," Leander said finally, "something about how unnatural they are."

"Of all people, I didn't expect you to say that," Axton said, "and come to think of it, of all things, I can't believe you're being all serious business at me about cities."

"But you agree," Leander said.

"Not exactly," Axton said. "I know there's something sick about cities for
me
. I don't know if that's something generally true."

"It seems to be generally true that werewolves aren't suited to cities," Leander said.

"Sure," Axton allowed, with a hand gesture of concession, "that's generally true for the general population of werewolves. Generally speaking."

"But humans aren't really suited to cities, either," Leander said, "and I don't just mean because of disease vectors, though the way infections tear through large population centers is part of it. Plagues happen quicker, but psychiatric diseases do, too--or if not quicker, then they just happen
more
. Paranoid schizophrenia rates go up in cities. Or think about Dunbar's number. We evolved to live in small groups and most of us can't really care about more than 150 people at a time. And that's without even getting into the pollution, or disruption of circadian rhythms..."

"I'm still surprised to hear
you
come out against cities," Axton said.

"I'm only urban compared to your hermit ass," Leander said. "To most people here, I'm a weirdo who bought a cabin in the middle of nowhere just to trek out there for a few weeks at a time and do nothing."

They exchanged quick glances.

Axton drummed his fingers on the mattress.

"Say I accept your premise," he proposed, speaking slowly, "then what?"

They looked at each other for a heavy minute.

"I don't want to be here," Leander said. "Not now, not for a while. And you don't really, either. You just want to be--"

"With you," Axton finished.

Leander smiled. Axton marveled at how two tiny words had the power to make this strapping, confident man just--stop what he was doing, completely derailed. The conversation crumbled for a moment: Leander smiled at him so fondly that Axton leaned in closer, just to really see, and then Leander was cupping a tender hand around his jaw and bringing him in for a kiss.

They shared air, slow and gentle, eyes closed as they tasted each other as if it was the first time--carefully, thoroughly, intent on not missing anything.

What power that was, in a way, what power in just two little words. Axton felt a deep and quiet thrill rush through him, all gratitude and awe that yes, this was love, and love was a marvel.

When they parted, Axton blinked his eyes as if he was just waking up again.

"Can we go to Montana for a while?" Leander asked.

"Yeah," Axton breathed. "Did you expect me to say no?"

"Maybe," Leander confessed. "I don't know. It seemed possible. Maybe you need time alone or something."

"There might be squatters," Axton said thoughtfully, "and there's a lot of work to do. I've been gone for so long..."

"I think we can handle it," Leander said, "given all the other shit we've handled lately."

"Structural repairs," Axton murmured. "Catching up on routine cleaning. Updating the population numbers...the census is horribly out of date…and what about the bears…"

"I see," Leander said, something rich and amused in his voice. "You're saying this isn't going to be a honeymoon."

"Huh?" Axton looked up. "What? Sorry. I was thinking about my cats. I hope they're okay. I think I made sure they were self-sufficient. Mostly. Right? I didn't kill them by rescuing them from floods all the time?"

Leander laughed.

"Let's go," he said. "Let's go and check on your cats. I can follow you around while you ignore me utterly, consumed with your handywolf to-do list. It'll be great."

"You can clean your own gutters out, you mean," Axton said. "That's what you meant to say, city slacker."

"It's going be like prison work camp," Leander said, "so awesome." He sounded genuinely enthused, and he tackled Axton, dragging him back down on the bed and planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"You sound like you might even enjoy it," Axton said, as Leander grinned and pinned him down, wrists over his head.

"I will," Leander said.

"You love me," Axton said, grinning back at Leander, feeling crazy giddy with it.

"I do," Leander confirmed. "I do."

If he'd had the right mouth for it, Axton would have howled in triumph. He'd have to settle for the next best celebration, instead--

Smiling into each other's mouths, they kissed.

No man is an island and any author is only as good as their team. When I first started writing this series I was a stressed out, over caffeinated, underprepared mess. NOW, I am a stressed out and over caffeinated mess with a wonderful group of people helping me out. Without these guys I would do literally nothing but write half a book and then cry into my empty coffee cup. All remaining flaws are my own and these good people probably tried to talk me out of anything I've fucked up on. KB, Mimi, and Hunter: you are all actually the best.

KB, general literary problem solving and crisis management: I can't say anything to convey how grateful I am, so I'll just bring you some gluten free waffles later. They will not be frozen.

Mimi, editing, cheerleading, and crisis management: hahah oh god you have saved this book from not happening at least a dozen times. Thanks for keeping me emotionally honest. I never understood the big deal about the bond between author and editor, until now, and it's like I'm an easily startled horse and then you whisper things.

Hunter, cover art and carrot on a stick: everything you do is gorgeous and I come to you only near the end because getting some beautiful artwork is
my
reward for actually finishing a thing. Thanks for sticking with me for three whole books.

Not for this book in particular but in general, I'd also like to thank a certain K. West, who pretty much single handedly inspired me to write again a few years back. M.B., you cheered me on before I was anywhere near gay werewolves. Praise Batman.

Also, hey Dad, thanks for being a cool dad.

To my dearest readership:

I love each and every one of you. This book took way too long to happen, and I'm incredibly grateful, every day, for those of you who didn't forget me, and who sent me encouraging messages. I've been through some heavy emotional shit this past year, so I didn't write back to as many of you as I wanted to, but please know that I read every message and all of them touched me deeply. Even when I was being a high strung hermit avoiding all human contact. Especially then.

In particular, I'd like to thank Angela and Kevin for being wonderful, understanding people who put up with my shit. Angela also gets the Fanartist Prime prize. Kevin wrote me the most politely disappointed e-mail I've ever received. It was magical. I consider you both dear friends.

I would also like to thank Lirtle, from
Prism Book Alliance
, for letting me do
an amazing interview
.

No, and yes, meaning: you will see Axton and Leander again,
soon
. The main series is over for now, but there's going to be something else. Something shorter and maybe more light-hearted than the book you just read. It's different. Fun different. You'll like it. Check for updates
here
.

any other projects?

YES, and thanks for asking. Besides the secret fun-different Axton and Leander project, I have something else going on. In the next few months I'm running an experiment. I'm going to be switching formats, at least for a while, because I think working on a story as a serial will play to my strengths and also be way better for my audience. Writing a novel, especially a long novel like this, is a lonely slog. It's an endurance run; it's cross country shit when I'm more suited to being a sprinter. It means I write a lot less than I otherwise would, and a lot slower. Instead of one book a year, I want to release episodes/chapters on a much shorter regular basis. Less wait, less cliffhanger frustration (MAYBE), and no hysterical author disappearances. At this point, I think you guys can trust that I will finish a story--given that I have now produced several hundred thousand words of a continuous series--so you can trust me to work on a serial. Part of the experiment is that I'll be putting up a patreon account and seeing how that works as a distribution channel. I'm still figuring this author thing out. Finished stories will also be released as e-books for those of you who are binge readers.

so what's this serial about?