Everything Carries Me to You (Axton and Leander Book 3) (59 page)

"Yeah, you're not sarcastic at all, babe," Leander said innocently.

"Stop helping," Axton snapped, but then he paused and eyed Ilias warily.
Babe
. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, and he wasn't looking at Leander. "Why did you come? Why did you come when you had to know?"

"You asked me to," Ilias said, but he looked away.

"And that's all?" Axton asked incredulously. "I asked you for plenty of things before. I asked you to let me stay home. I asked you to not condemn me to live in exile. I asked you to forgive me, even though I shouldn't have had to ask that. I asked you to
love
me--"

Axton was panting hard and he could feel tears gathering from the tightening in his throat, and that made him furious. He could not be this, he could not be this lost and sad and pathetic person who still wanted--

"That was then," Ilias said, standing up.

Axton shot up to his feet in response, batting Leander's cautionary hand away. He was shaking.

It was humiliating.

"And this is now?" he demanded, sharp and quick. "That's all, time passes, tempers cool, let's pretend it never happened, la la la?"

"Time passes. Minds change," Ilias took a step forward.

Axton ached, ready to run or fight, wanting to do both, either, neither, something. Ilias was coming closer and Axton was trying to time it, trying to make sure he could go wolf before the fight started.

"So what?" Axton said, voice shaking as it rose. "So things are just fine, just like that, and I should just--"

"No," Ilias said, "but we have the future. I'm sorry, Axton. I missed you, my son." And he held out his arms.

Axton shuddered and shook his head, feeling the pain in his heart as a physical twinge in his chest--

And he threw his arms around his father and buried his face in his shoulder and tried not to cry.

"I missed you, too," he said thickly.

"I'll just let you two have a moment, then," Leander said, retreating tactfully.

The party atmosphere was still going strong, so Leander acquired a beer and wandered around the impromptu bonfire, hailing people with his red solo cup and smiling at everyone. Dana stood at the edge of the fire, still with a gentle, happy sense of wonder about him.

Perfect
, Leander thought.
Perfect
.

He raised his cup to Dana and walked over to stand by his side.

"Congratulations," he told Dana, for maybe the third time.

"Thanks," Dana said, a little awkwardly, but still clearly pleased. "I appreciate how...what you...that," he settled for, "I appreciate it."

"Welcome, man," Leander said, sounding off hand and like it was nothing, as if he'd just bought Dana a sandwich or something.

"I'm sorry about, uh," Dana tried, "trying to kill you. And breaking your legs."

He really is grateful
, Leander thought.
How sweet
.

"Hey, no problem," Leander said. "It's complicated. I get that."

"You do?" Dana asked, surprised.

"Sure," Leander said. "You're under lots of strain. And my dad was killed on duty, so I know some of the feeling, the injustice."

"Huh," Dana said, like he was struggling to come to terms with everything. "But still, I...mighty fine of you to look past all I done."

"Anytime," Leander smiled, taking a drink from his cup. "I know you'll be a good leader."

"Thanks," Dana said, sounding newly surprised.

"I'm sure you'll handle the new load of responsibility very well," Leander went on.

"Yeah," Dana agreed, a tentative smile on his face. "I think I--"

"Leading by example," Leander continued. "I think you really have the chance to change things around here, you know? Everyone will be looking at you for guidance. Watching what you do."

"Looking to me," Dana corrected, unsure of where Leander was headed. "Yeah, of course."

"And now that you're top dog--so to speak--you can have other people do all the assignments Dru used to run you ragged," Leander said. "You can really focus on spending a lot of time here, making sure everything runs smoothly, making sure everyone gets along."

"Assignments," Dana said slowly.

"Sure," Leander plowed on. "You get to delegate now! That's awesome. It's an important skill for a leader to have. Since there'll be so much to do, around here. With everyone. All the time. Looking at you. For guidance."

Dana's eye widened in realization.

"No more running around, going places by yourself," Leander finished cheerfully. "With nothing to do, just trying to fill the time with whatever. You're the man of the house now! Congratulations!"

Dana's mouth opened, but he didn't seem to know how to respond.

Leander beamed and clapped Dana on the back.

"You're welcome," Leander said as he left, smiling as he sipped from his cup.

The big house was quiet.

"You seem pleased," Axton said, as Leander hummed to himself and stripped off his shirt.

"Only because I am," Leander said serenely. "I've got my boyfriend back. I pulled off an extremely complicated plan. I got to explain to my enemy how he was bested. There are two hot slim brunettes on the premises and they obviously both find me attractive."

"Two?" Axton asked.

"You and Trevor," Leander said.

"Fridge Guy?" Axton said. "You
were
being all flirty with Fridge Guy, now that I think of it."

"Fridge Guy?" Leander asked.

"I mean, he's not my thing, but---huh," Axton said thoughtfully. "That's a relief."

"It is? What is?" Leander asked. "Why is he Fridge Guy?"

"You have a type," Axton said. "I'm kind of thrilled, actually."

"I'm not a werewolf fetishist," Leander said.

"No, I mean," Axton gestured to himself, "similar builds, similar coloring."

"Is that what you think?" Leander asked. "I mean, yeah, that helps, but it's also…the boyish kind of, what, innocence, maybe…but only when it's next to...competent outdoorsy manly shit, I guess. It doesn't come up in my life a lot."

"It's just that if you're actually attracted to a guy on the planet besides me, I feel a lot better about it," Axton said.

"Ah," Leander said. "You worry about that? That this is some sort of anomaly?"

"Sometimes," Axton said.

"
Seriously
?" Leander asked. "After all the shit I've been through? Holy balls, babe."

"Well," Axton hedged, "more from before…everything…all this."

"Ah, you worried about it
before
we went on our grand adventure. I see."

From his place sprawled out over the bed, Axton raised an eyebrow.

"Adventure? I'm glad that you found the events of the night so refreshing," he said, but his heart wasn't in it, and he sounded mournful instead of biting.

"Aw, babe," Leander said. "Please don't be mad at me."

"No, why would I be?" Axton mumbled, closing his eyes, throwing an arm across them. "Just because you've been constantly exposing yourself to danger and I've had countless nightmares about the possibility of your death?"

Leander sat on the bed next to him.

"I guess that was kinda dumb, huh?" he said softly.

"Stupid action hero shit," Axton said.

"Yeah," Leander said thoughtfully. "But also no. Mostly I just talked my way through it."

"And my dad, fuck," Axton said. "Like, how to put the rest of me through the emotional wringer, what little bits of me weren't utterly consumed with worry for you--have me go fucking home, talk to my estranged father,
ask
him for help, ho hum, why not?"

"That seems to have gone fairly well, though," Leander said cautiously.

Axton flopped out across his lap.

"I'm so tired," he said honestly.

"Yeah," Leander said throatily, "me too."

"I don't even know what to do with myself now," Axton said.

"You wanna get out of here tomorrow?" Leander asked, losing his fingers in Axton's hair, scratching at his scalp.

"Where are we going to go?" Axton murmured.

"Home," Leander said.

"Where's that?" Axton asked, turning over slowly to blink his gold eyes up at Leander.

"Wherever you want it to be," Leander said.

There was a slightly ceremonial handing over of the prisoner, and then it was time to say good bye to Ilias.

"Thanks again," Leander said. "I owe you one."

"You do," Ilias said, "and I do have need of a persuasive envoy from time to time--"

"No," Axton said.

"Werewolf to hunter relations are improving," Ilias said, "and are about to come to a critical tipping point."

"No," Axton said.

"I would love to be a human cultural attaché," Leander said.

"No," Axton said.

"I have extensive experience doing legal mediations," Leander added.

"Mediations," Ilias repeated. "Yes."

"Send New York," Axton said.

"Think it over," Ilias said.

"New York probably would," Leander said, shaking hands with Ilias and then retreating.

Axton stared his father down.

"Would you rather I reminded you that you are my sole heir?" Ilias asked gently.

"You're angling for continued contact," Axton said, "when you could just ask me."

"Could I?" Ilias asked.

"Yeah," Axton said, and he braced himself, because for once, he wasn't going to be the one surprised by the hug, "and yeah."

They stayed together for a moment, and then Ilias canted his head to the side, obviously and oddly lupine as he looked away.

"Good bye, my son," he said.

"I'll call you," Axton said.

As Ilias drove off with Dru, Axton and Leander stood and waved--or rather, Leander waved. Axton just watched, with an expression on his face that was not easily readable.

"So," Leander said, still looking in the direction the car was going, "I've been trying to figure out when to tell you this--"

"Oh good," Axton said, "news of the
I've been meaning to tell you
variety. Is someone dead or pregnant?"

"Honestly?" Leander asked.

"No, lie to me," Axton said. "Let's throw everything we've been through away for an easy lie in a critical moment."

"Dead, then," Leander said. "I figured I would wait for the action to stop, but talk to you while there was still a chance to run down your dad and demand answers if you wanted." Leander turned towards Axton, gaze downcast but then glancing up at his eyes. "Your mother wasn't a werewolf."

Axton hadn't been moving much, but for a second, his stillness was absolute.

"She was human?" Axton clarified, looking for confirmation.

"Yes," Leander said. "So your dad was feeling sympathy about you and me, if that changes how you feel about him showing up."

"He told you this?" Axton asked. "He told you instead of telling me?"

"Well," Leander pointed out, "I don't think I was supposed to tell you. But fuck not telling you things. That's dumb."

"I--" Axton exhaled sharply and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "Fuck. Fuck. Okay." He opened his eyes. "That makes more sense than it should, really."

"Yeah?" Leander asked.

"How none of the pack had ever met her--why Father was wandering in the first place--how I never, ever met anyone from his past." Axton scrubbed his fingers across his forehead and then straightened with a sigh. "And lots of stuff about me, I guess."

"Going to run him down and ask questions?" Leander asked. "You can probably still make it if you go wolfy."

"Wolfy," Axton echoed. "Is that what we're calling it now." He looked off in the direction his dad had disappeared, squeezing his arms together as if he was cold. Leander knew that he was not, and the agitated foot shuffle Axton stuttered through next was also unrelated to the temperature.

"I'll hold your things," Leander said.

"No," Axton said. "I hear you, it's just--I have a lot to process right now. I'm not going to go after him." Hesitation, then decision. "I'll talk to him again. Soon."

"All right, cool," Leander said, "because I didn't want to say anything, but the car we're supposed to drive off in doesn't turn on and I know fuck all about fixing it."

"I'm on it," Axton said, relieved.

"I'll catch up to you," Leander said. "I have to do my good byes. It'll be a while."

The scent reached Axton through the cold winter air quickly, but he still closed the car door quietly, refusing to be rushed.

"Dana," he said.

Dana hung back, shaking his head.

"You won," he said.

Ah, awkward. It shouldn't have been, but it was. Axton stuck his hands in his pockets and looked away.

"I guess," he said, not looking at Dana. "Doesn't feel like that much of a victory. I shouldn't have had to fight for it in the first place."

"Your man--" Dana started, then he, too, had to look away. "Persistent fucker. Clever, too."

"I know," Axton said, but then, a shade defiantly, "It wasn't all his idea."
Come on
, he thought,
give me some credit for knowing you, Dana.

"You'd punish me like this?" Dana asked, "by giving me what I want?"

"Oh, is that so much of a punishment?" Axton asked, and now he looked at Dana, eyes bright and accusing.

"It is," Dana said weakly, and he leaned against the side of the car, next to Axton but far enough away to not even accidently touch. "I never woulda thought. But it is."

"Why, Dana?" Axton said. "Why?" He wasn't even sure what he was asking.

"I love you, Axton," Dana said. "Even now. You tied my hands with literally everything else in the world I care about, so if I come after you now, I'm admitting I'm a crazy man. I'd have to throw my life away first. All of it."

"So don't," Axton said.

"I won't," Dana said, looking down. "You know me well enough to catch me in a trap, Ax. But if you think this changes how I feel, then you don't really know me at all."

"I've never been able to force your emotions, Dana. Not one way and not the other."