Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3) (10 page)

Closing my eyes, I blow out a breath. I can’t fuck her, yet. She needs fucking rest, especially now. She played a sick show today. Sophia’s probably going to be pissed, but I don’t really give a shit. She’s carrying our child now, so certain shit’s gotta change. I’m gonna have to call Lux and make sure he ups security more at shows and around her. I’m not fucking risking anything like the last tour. No doubt, if anyone were to hurt her… I would fucking go to prison for what I would to do them.

I don’t really know a whole lot about babies and shit, but Sophia needs to see someone soon, I do know that. We’re supposed to play at Download this summer, but what if she’s having the baby then? See, shit like this I gotta know. A smile creeps onto my face. I can’t fucking believe my girl is knocked up and that I’m actually fucking excited about it.

************

Well, she’s not pissed... more like getting ready to rip my face off. Since I didn’t really sleep, I ended up sending Lux a text. By the time Sophia got up around ten, I had already planned for this Sue chick to come over to the bus. The bus took off sometime during the night, so I’m not really sure where the fuck we’re at right now.

Sophia didn’t say anything, probably embarrassed because she knows she has to let her boys know soon, or I will. I know they look after her, but now they really gotta up their big brother shit. I’m not taking any chances. When Reeve gets the message from Lux, he finds a truck stop and pulls off the highway. Everyone is still passed out except us, so I don’t know why she’s freaking so bad. They’re not gonna know shit yet.

Sitting out on the couch, I rest my arms on the tops of it as I wait for Sue to arrive. Sophia went to the bathroom then right back to her room. Even though she heated me up yesterday by lying to me, I know fucking better than to try and start anything with her right now.

A couple light knocks hit the door.

“Can I come in?”

Getting up, I step in and push the door open for a middle aged woman with graying blond hair and light eyes.

“Good morning,” she chirps up at me.

Susan smiles again as she stands in the doorway. “Oh shit, right,” I say, taking a step back and out of her way. I must’ve zoned out again. I nod at Sophia’s door with the side of my head.

“She’s back there.”

Susan walks past me, holding the strap to her brown messenger bag. I follow her down the aisle. She uses the back of her hand, strumming her knuckles against the door before sliding it open. Sophia is standing over by her little desk, sorting something. After she puts it down, she faces us.

“Hello, Sophia. Lux already told me some things, but I want to hear from you, too. Now, I don’t have too much on me at this time, but we can at least go over your vitals and start you some vitamins. You can go see a gynecologist in a couple weeks when you get a break before next leg of the tour.”

“Okay.” Sophia answers in a small voice.

Turning around, I walk back out of the room. Let them talk about whatever they gotta talk about. Some weight is lifted from my chest for now.

What a lying little thing,
I laugh in my head.
Fucking going around telling us some dumb infection bullshit!

Stretching my arms over my head, I hang out here for about twenty minutes. Soft mumbles drift out of Sophia’s door.

“Take care and if you need anything, just let me know.”

“Thank you.”

Sophia walks out first and heads over to the fridge as Sue leaves. When the bus door closes, my eyes find that tight ass of hers as she reaches inside. Fuck! Those little plaid shorts are fucking killing me right now.

“Stop staring at my ass.”

The corner of my mouth lifts up. Sophia stands and shuts the door, spinning on her heel. My gaze roams up to her chest in that tight tank top. Fucking beautiful. Making a disgusted sound, Sophia turns around and throws whatever she had in her hands into the sink. My eyes snap up to hers and when I raise my eyebrow at her, she puts out her hand.

“Don’t ask.”

She stomps her way over to the other side of the booth. Sliding into it, she runs her fingers through her hair.

“You should eat something.”

Twisting her face at me, she shakes her head.

“No way,” she groans.

I press my lips together. I don’t like that she’s not even trying. Glancing over to the sink, I see there’s fruit spilled out of a plastic container. How can fruit be making her sick? Tipping my head to the side, I scratch the back of my neck.

“You need anything?” I ask her.

She shakes her head no, staring out at the highway as the bus takes off again. She just sits there quietly with her arms crossed, pushing up those damn tits of hers. Not in a bad way at all, but fuck… I can’t get enough of her.

Walking up to the booth, I rest my hands on the table, leaning into Sophia’s space. Those lush thighs of hers clench when I breathe over top of her, blowing pieces of her brown hair. Sophia shakes her body away from mine, pressing herself into the backrest.

“Tristan, we need to talk.”

What the fuck? Her blue eyes are flat, but her bottom lip starts trembling. Pushing myself off the table, I cross my arms over my chest, kicking my leg out a little. This shit is going to be dumb, I can already fucking tell. She stares back at me, and I just widen my eyes, indicating that she go on with whatever she wants to “talk” about.

“What the fuck are we gonna do, Tristan?”

Her voice only breaks for a second before she strengthens it again.  Is this what really has her so fucking worked up right now? I can’t stop the cackle that comes out. Sophia’s eyes widen, like she’s just seen a lunatic.

“Relax, babe-”

“Tristan. This is some serious shit we have to talk about.”

Shaking my head at her, I swipe my hand down my mouth, grinning wider.

“You’re freaking, my girl.”

“No, I’m not,” she pouts.

“Yeah, you are.”

A disbelieving chuckle slips out of Sophia’s lips.

“How do you fucking know?”

Running my tongue over my bottom lip, I tip my chin up at her.

“Because you’re gonna marry me.”

Sophia’s chest shakes as she laughs, putting a spark back into those sapphires of hers. Biting the corner of my lip, I roll my neck around my shoulders.

“Fuck that,” she laughs, scooting her way out of the booth. Stepping in close, I block her body from getting out.

“Marry me.”

I drop my smile and stare down at her. Pulling her lips into her mouth, she shakes her head no. Reaching down, I tuck some of her soft hair behind her ear.

Whatever. She said no. Doesn’t mean I’m done asking yet.

Chapter Ten

Sophia

“What the fuck are you watching now?” Tristan groans next to me, trying to tug at my waist to lie back down.

“Reality Bites,” I tease, grinning as I press play on the screen because I know damn well Tristan doesn’t really care for those kinds of movies.

Well, it’s more like he would rather ‘dig his eyes out and bash his head against a cement wall’ as he put it when I made him watch Labyrinth a couple nights ago, after we had just fucked and I knew he wouldn’t be getting up for few hours. Oh my God, the look on his face was so funny when he saw David Bowie, I mean, Jareth, sing
Dance, Magic, Dance
in those ridiculous cup-bulging pants.

“Fuck that!”

He peels himself off the bed and grabs his shirt off the floor. A giggle tickles my throat.

“Come on, baby. Stay back here with me.”

I stretch my arms out for him, giving him a playful grin. Tristan stills with his back to me as he slides open my door with one hand. He uses the other to tug the smooth, black material of his shirt down his back. Twisting his neck over his shoulder, Tristan’s dark eyes glisten and he gives me this dangerous, half smile, showing only half his open mouth. Fuck…

“You keep talking like that, Sophia, then everyone on this bus is going to hear me fuck the shit out of you,” he warns me seductively.

Holy shit!

I gasp, my heart stopping and my core clenching at Tristan’s brutal words. I’m sure they probably have already heard us quite a few times, obviously, but with how Tristan’s staring at me, with his eyes penetrating mine, I just fucking know he would have something up his tattooed sleeve for me to lose total freaking control.

“Fine, then.” I lean back, trying to brush it off. “Go out there and play warfareness.” I gesture with my hand in the air in front of me.

I have no clue what kind of games my boys play. Anything with guns, I know that. Tristan slides the door shut behind him, shaking his head ‘no’ at me.

“I don’t think so.” His deep voice sounds rich with warning. “Now, I’m thinking I just want to play with you.”

“YO!” Roger’s voice booms through the bus.

That stops Tristan, but he’s still giving me that piercing look that sends shrills throughout me.

“Y-yeah?” I choke out.

Tristan’s grin grows wider ’til it reaches his signature, all-teeth-showing, dropping-my-panties-anytime-anywhere style smile.

“Shut up,” I whisper yell at him.

Reaching behind me and grabbing a pillow, I chuck it at him my hardest, which right now just so happens to be lame. He chuckles and turns back around, sliding the door open right before Roger comes up to it.

“Just wanted to see if you guys want in on this jay before we get to Milwaukee?” Roger twists his wrist around, showing not a joint, but a blunt, to Tristan and me.

Tristan’s back tenses for a moment, then he shakes his head.

“Nah.”

Roger’s face drops.

“Really? Nah, you guys must be fucking, right?”

Roger glances over Tristan’s shoulder at me, confusion and maybe even a little concern on his face. Almost two weeks of turning down pot, along with my fake diagnosis and staying camped up back here for the past couple days as we drive from Houston... I know shit is starting to look weird.

“Okay…” he says slowly.

“Give us a sec,” Tristan mumbles.

Roger slides the door shut behind him when he leaves. Tristan turns back around, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his eyebrow up at me.

“What?” I shrug my shoulders. Shit.

“What?” 
Tristan mocks.

Cocking his head to the side, he points his chin at me.

“Think you better get your ass out there with me right now and have a chat with your boys.”

I feel blood draining from my face. Stunned silent, Tristan shakes his head at me. Unfolding his arms, he walks over to the other side of the bed I’m sleeping on and leans over me to give my back a reassuring rub.

“Fuck, Tristan. I know,” I say in defeat and look down, my hair falling around me.

Tristan stands back up and gestures at my door with the side of his head.

“Come now.”

“Shit, Tristan. Just give me five minutes,” I say, frustrated.

“Nah… you don’t need five minutes,” he says back cockily.

“Quit telling me what I fucking need, okay?” My voice rips with anger.

I glare up at him and he smirks back down at me, some of his thick hair falling in his face. Tipping his chin up, the loose pieces fall back. Uncrossing his arms again, he jabs his index finger in the direction of the door.

“My girl, I’m going out there, and you’re going with me.”He motions between our bodies with the same finger he just used for the door. “We’re letting them know, now. Can’t fucking hide this and I don’t want them getting high all the damn time when you’re in here!” he finishes strongly.

“Oh, come
on,
” I wave him off.“I always come back here and shut the door when they do it. Now I even have them cracking a window open out there, too.”

“That’s not fucking good enough! Shit’s gotta change!” Tristan bellows back.

Shit. I’m pretty sure the boys heard that.

“Stop being so fucking bossy all the damn time. Please…” I try to lower my voice. Smooth the situation over.

Not giving another word, Tristan abruptly picks me up off the bed by my waist. I yelp when he does.

“Shit, Tristan.”

Cradling me against his chest, he doesn’t say anything and stomps his way over to the door. With my arms around his neck, I try to wiggle my body in his arms.

“Fine! Fuck! Just put me down!” I say to him with annoyance.

Setting me down right in front of the door, Tristan keeps his right arm curled around my back, and throws open the door. Smoke from the weed billows around us.

“Fuck,” Tristan hisses, gently shoving me to the side. “Stay fucking back here and open that fucking window up.” He nods to the one directly behind me.

Tristan steps through the door and slides it shut with a little more force than necessary. I know he’s just trying to look out for the baby, but he better not take this shit out on my boys. They have no fucking clue.

Spinning on my heel, I take the few steps over to the foot of the bed and crawl across, almost losing my balance as it feels like the bus must be taking an exit ramp. Reaching the window, I slide the glass plate open as far as it will go. I sink against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

I’m trying to listen, but it doesn’t sound like he’s saying anything to them yet. Just laughing about something. Tristan must be getting high. Fucking jerk. Well, he'd better enjoy it, because it’s gonna be the last time he enjoys pot for awhile. If I have to change, then so does he, damn it.

I mean, it’s not fair that I have to go through so much alone, right? Damn it, it’s probably my hormones setting this shit off again. I heard from Susan and she said that Lux has set it up for me to get some blood work and an ultrasound done while we’re in Milwaukee tonight. How fucking crazy is that? I thought for sure I would have to wait a couple more weeks ’til I got back to L.A. to make an appointment and find anything out.

It’s not a full-blown first baby appointment anyways, just trying to find out how far along I am and if certain levels of something are normal. I don’t really remember what Susan was saying, I was just shocked that I was going to be seeing my static little fuzz of a baby.

I wait back here in silence for about another fifteen minutes scrolling through some messages on my phone, when the door slides open. Tristan’s eyes look to be clear, but I’m not quite sure.

Tristan stands by the open door and waits, just staring at me. I quirk my eyebrow up at him, then stare back down at my phone screen.

“All clear, sir?” I look back up at him and smirk.

He doesn’t smirk back this time, but turns around and fades into the dark aisle of the bus. Ah, shit. Here we go.

I toss my phone down on the mattress, where it bounces lightly. Standing up beside the bed, I run my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans, my fingers getting tangled in the old, weathered material. There’s not even rips anymore, but massive shreds. Dragging my feet up to the door, I catch my reflection in the full mirror by it. My eyes widen when I notice the tops of my breasts popping out of my tank top. Hurrying up, so Tristan doesn’t come back here again, I yank up the material, trying to cover my freaking boobs better. I swear, they must have gotten almost a cup size bigger already. That shit is scary. I’ve been well-endowed in that department since sixteen, but this is just ridiculous.

After fixing my top, I run both hands through my hair on the sides of my head, pulling it away from my face. I exhale a long breath I must’ve been holding in. All right, time to get this shit over with.

Coming out of the aisle and into the living area, I smile when I see Tristan hanging with my boys. He takes up most of the couch with his massive body. Roger is sitting on the coffee table with his back facing me, playing one of those games I was talking about with Jeff. Matt and Jared are sitting in the booth, turning their heads my way when I approach.

“Hey.”

Matt tips his chin up and Jared quietly nods, smirking at me before looking back down at his phone.

“I can’t figure out what the fuck that was called.” He goes back to saying something to Matt. My eyes go from them and find Tristan’s, which already have found mine.

“Come here, my girl,” he mouths to me.

My eyes scan the room real quick to see if anyone caught that. Nope, they’re all into their own shit, just hanging out like we normally would do.

I start to step over Jeff’s long legs to make my way to Tristan, but Jeff moves them over to the side so I can get by better.

“Sorry, Sophia,” he mumbles, totally involved with the game right now.

“See that? That’s what I was fucking talking about. Shit, I’m gonna die,” Roger says more to himself than anyone else, really.

When I finally step in front of Tristan, he takes my elbow gently and turns me around so that my back is facing him and guides me down onto his lap. Taking a seat, Roger just so happens to glance over.

“Oh, that’s fucking cute,” he chuckles, then goes back to his game.

Smiling at his back, I roll my eyes at him. The gruff, couple days out whiskers on Tristan’s cheek brush against the side of my face.

“Okay, baby,” is all he says before he clears his throat loudly to get everyone’s attention.

“Hey.”

Oh, shit! Tristan grips my waist more firmly as I try to scoot off of him. I don’t really want to be sitting on his lap when we tell everyone. I mean, if we were together for a while longer and the circumstances were different, then maybe. But this is still a kind of fucked up situation to be in.

“Yeah, man?” Jeff asks, his eyes still on the screen, but Matt stops and Jared is staring right at us.

“Ah…” Tristan mumbles and this surprises me.

Quickly turning my head, I glance up at Tristan and a slow smile starts to split my face. He kind of looks nervous now. See, not so fucking easy, is it? I’m savoring the fact that Tristan is uncomfortable.

“What’s up, Soph?” Roger’s voice brings me back.

Snapping my head in his direction, I notice that they actually paused the game and both he and Jeff are now staring at us. Panic starts to make my blood race. I feel Tristan's body tense as we scan each one of the guys’ faces. And they…well, they’re looking at Tristan and me as if we’ve grown a third fucking eye or something.

Biting my lip hard, I pinch my eyes tight, pretending I’m the only one here.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words just fall off my lips. Tristan’s body relaxes slightly, and I slowly open my eyes. The first thing I notice is Jeff smirking with his hat tipped over his eyes. My eyes scan slowly to the left. Roger’s face kind of reminds me of how I must have looked when I first found out. All color has drained from his face and his mouth drops open. Not giving him time to say anything, I glance over at the booth. Matt’s and Jared’s eyes are both wide like Roger’s. Jared looks quickly from me, to Tristan, and back to me while Matt just kind of shakes his head in disbelief, chuckling.

“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Just. Say?” asks Roger in a low, shocked voice.

Bringing my eyes back to his, I feel a deep rumble from Tristan’s chest behind me as he sits up more, answering Roger.

“Sophia’s pregnant,” Tristan says matter-of-factly, his confidence clearly coming back.

I’m starting to shit myself on the inside as I take in Roger’s still confused face. Pinching his eyebrows together, he looks up like he has to think about it.

“Well, congrats, you two,” Jeff pipes up in the background.

“Um…” Jared taps on the table with his finger. Tristan and I both crank our necks back to see what he has to say.

Jared keeps his eyes down, still tapping the table.