Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) (21 page)

His eyes looked up at me then across to the window. “Three weeks after Gary’s death, I got a note he’d written for me in the event that he didn’t come back.
He asked me to take care of ‘his Kara’ for him and keep her from harm. I really wanted to honor that. I loved Gary, he trusted me with her, and he was a fucking hero. I figured he died for his country, protecting all of us. The least I could do for him was to protect and take care of the one person that meant the most to him when he was alive.”

His eyes filled with tears, but he exhaled sharply, cleared his throat
, and shook his head. He blinked back the tears and controlled his emotions from engulfing him.

“
Kara lost her home. She only worked part-time in a supermarket and couldn’t make the rent. She moved in with me, and we were fine at first, but she still needed something to make the difference, for her to kickstart her life again.

She begged me to get her work as an escort. She knew I used that line of work to pay my tuition through college.” He looked visibly frustrated
. “I tried hard to dissuade her from getting involved, but she’s a strong willed girl. When I wouldn’t introduce her, she started to go down the glamour model route. She’s a pretty girl after all. The thing is, she was mixing with sleazy guys and the places she was putting herself out there were seedy. I knew she was going to get herself into something she wasn’t prepared for if I didn’t help her.”

This protective, considerate, selfless guy that Alfie was describing himself to be, wasn’t the person I knew him as at all. The Alfie I knew couldn’t be trusted.

With me, he was ruthless in his pursuit of me for his own pleasure, utterly fucking selfish, and he couldn’t have cared less about anyone else, especially me.

I sat up, and pulled my knees up, hugging them, as I listened to what he was telling me. Alfie’s hand reached out and stroked the back of my arm. I flinched
, and he closed his eyes.

Swallowing hard, he dropped it to rest on the bed again. His eyes flicked up to my face
; he looked hurt and apologetic at the same time. He inhaled, then began to talk again. 

He looked at the bed
. “Would you mind if I sat up there?” He pointed at the other side of the bed and waited for me to reply.

I shrugged. “Fine, but finish your story.” My voice sounded stilted, and I was wary of any moves he
might think he could make.

He walked around the bed and the mattress dipped beside me as he crawled on to the bed. He adjusted himself, moving the pillow up behind his back and settled his body alongside me with a sigh. “It isn’t a story, Lily
,” he whispered exasperated.

His face told me he was annoyed at my description of his explanation. “A story implies what I just disclosed isn’t my reality.” He smirked and let out a snort. “I wish that was the case, but the past two years have been too real as far as I’m concerned.”

I turned my head and his eyes met mine. I could see the sincerity in them, he was definitely hurting, I could concede that much at least.

“
Kara’s behavior and her constant nagging talked me into introducing her to my escort agency. Only, she wasn’t as clever as me about how she went about things. I’m very careful about my clients. I only have about a dozen, and they have been regulars now for the past five years. If there are any ‘one off’ jobs, these are from personal recommendation of my regulars only. It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s a good compromise for the women who don’t want a relationship, but don’t want to attend social or evening business events alone.”

His eyes flicked
up to meet mine, he knew what I was thinking. “No, not once… I’ve never crossed the line and provided extras, as lucrative as that may be.  I would never prostitute myself no matter how much I needed the money or how hard up I was feeling.”

As he was talking, a comment he had made right at the beginning of our ‘arrangement’ sank in. He made it after an argument we had
following a chance sighting I had of him with another woman the same day as he’d had sex with me on my first day at college.

He had thought I had followed him one evening.
But really, Mandy and Neil had invited me to a gig, which just happened to be at the same place.

In the heat of the argument he’d told me
, “They picked me, Lily, I picked you.” I could see how he’d come to that statement, it made sense now that his statement was in context for me.

There was another thing that nagged me.  He wasn’t a student
anymore. He didn’t need money for his tuition, so why was he still escorting? “I don’t understand Alfie, why do you need to escort when you’re getting good money with the gigs you do? Plus, you get paid to mentor at college, right?”

Alfie smirked.
“Good question, I said you were clever as well as beautiful.” He smirked. “I financially support Kara.” His statement was clipped.

“You support her? I thought you said she was escorting, and where does she live now?”

He inhaled deeply again, turned to me, and shook his head. “Sorry Lily, I can’t tell you where she lives, and she doesn’t escort now.”

I retorted, “That’s not good enough, Alfie.”

I positioned myself to face the opposite direction on the bed, kneeling beside him now. “You support her…completely? That’s why you need all the money? Why are you supporting her Alfie?” He shifted down the bed and lay on one side facing me, perching his head on his elbow.

“She got herself into some real big shit, and she needed my help with that.”

I was confused. “What shit?”

He paused, staring at me.
“She had a client who was bad news, a guy loosely related to a drug cartel. He had her escort him to some event, and she fell for him.” He shook his head. “He was everything Gary wasn’t. He was flash, loud, brash, dishonest… a real fucking thug,” he spat.

“Anyway, she got in way over her head and got knocked up. He came back one night with some crack head friend. They were both high, so she
called him out for bringing the guy back to their place. They raped and beat the shit out of her for it.”

I couldn’t imagine what this girl had gone through. She was only a few years older than me, yet she’d been to hell and back. “That isn’t the end of it, Lily.” He swallowed, tilting his head up to look at me.

I moved and hugged my knees tight and stared back at him, waiting for him to tell me the rest. “When she fell pregnant, she didn’t know who the father of the baby was because of the rape.

“
She knew she had to get away from him though. She avoided his calls, telling him through one of his buddies that she wasn’t going to see him again. You don’t make the rules with those kind of guys.

“
He came looking for her, his buddy relaying a message to her that she was dead when he found her. These guys don’t make idle threats. So she went into hiding. She came to me, but I wasn’t taking her back to live in my home, that might have compromised both of us.

“
She lives in staff accommodation on campus. I mentor and instead of them paying me, they give me an apartment. She has no lease and no rent. She and her two-year-old daughter Poppy are safe as long as they remain there, at least until I can figure out what to do next.”

He sat up and took my hand
. I stiffened, but he continued to hold it, and moved closer to me. “Lily, I tried not to get involved with anyone because I couldn’t allow something to shift my focus from them.”

He drew a deep breath. “They need me, they aren’t safe
, and I’m all they have. Do you understand that?” I did, and as proud as I felt about him helping them, I felt bereft that he had been torn about this all this time.

“Yes, I can see why you are helping her
,” I stated quietly.

“No one else knows about her. Not even the college. They think we are a family
,” he stated.

What he was telling me, even now that I kn
ew, was that I was still not able to be with him. The college had a no fraternization policy, and he was a mentor, but worst still, Kara and Poppy were his ‘family.’

Tears began dripping from my face before I was aware I was crying.

I was so hurt by the whole situation and still I couldn’t do anything about it. I could offer money, but that wouldn’t solve the situation. Alfie needed to find a way for her to be independent of him.

“I love you, Lily
,” he whispered. He was sitting back on his knees now, on the bed, facing me. “I think I have since our first time together. You wreck me, and my heart is most definitely yours.”

I loud sob escaped my throat
, and I leapt off of the bed, running for the bathroom. “NO!” Alfie leapt after me, jamming his arm and leg in the door frame preventing me from closing the door.

“Don’t run, Lily, please, don’t run. I love you.” Alfie’s voice was soft but cracked as he said the last three words. He pushed the door back and came around it to find me curled down on the floor hugging my knees again.

“C’mere,” he cooed, and pulled me upright. He swamped my frame with his, his mouth finding my neck, and he inhaled sharply. “God, I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered.

He pulled his head back to look at me. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’ve been between a rock and a hard place since I met you, but I’m figuring a way ahead for us. Trust me.”

I so wanted to believe that this could all be resolved, but it was difficult. Trusting Alfie was a huge gamble, considering his previous mind games and the torment that I had been subjected to.

“I’m not sure I can do that
,” I muttered, my voice sounding small. “How can I have a relationship with someone that’s wrapped up in a web of lies about his makeshift family?”

He held me tightly and rubbed my back. “We’ll make it baby, with time, trust
, and love,” he murmured.  He kissed my temple and inhaled sharply, speaking with his voice vibrating from his chest into my face.

I wanted to believe him more than anything, I just wasn’t sure I had the faith to do that now. “So where do we go from here, Alfie?” I whispered.

“I’m gonna work it out, Lily. I need you in my life like I need to breathe.”  I felt a mixture of emotions now that he was finally telling me what I wanted to hear. I was elated, but not totally convinced. He hadn’t exactly made good on anything he’d told me before.

I wondered if my face showed my feelings because he shook his head vigorously. “I’m not letting you go this time, if you’ll give me another chance.”

I pushed past him and widened the bathroom door so that I could leave the confined space we were in.  He stepped back, and I walked out into the bedroom. “How can I give you another chance, Alfie? We’ve never been together, we never had a chance.” He smirked and opened his arms.

“Lily, who were we kidding? As far as I’m concerned, we’ve been together since the first time we kissed in the long grass back at college, the day I met you. I knew I wasn’t able to commit to you, but I still had to claim you in some way as mine.”

He came closer and knelt before me. His scent had been disarming me all the time he’d been next to me on the bed. I wanted to grab his t-shirt and pull him towards me.

My eyes flicked to his
lips, then met his gaze. He brought his hands up either side of my face and held me still, just staring into my eyes. He smiled, and I responded by smiling back.

He looked amazing,
well, even that wasn’t a good enough description, but I couldn’t find a bigger adjective to do him justice.  “You look so handsome when you smile,” I whispered, my eyes feasting on his face.

I shocked myself, I was more thinking it, but said it out loud. “You look so damned beautiful no matter what.”
He smiled, his hands lacing mine.

“I’ve treated you so fucking badly, Lily. Can you ever forgive me?” I stared into his eyes, knowing that I would forgive him
of anything, always.

I couldn’t let him know that, especially when he had put me through so much
already. “I don’t know, Alfie, treating me badly is pretty much an understatement.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, acknowledging how he
failed me. “Are you going to leave me stranded if Kara calls you? What about if I need you too? Who are you going to choose? Right now, I have to believe it would be her, if for no other reason than her child.

“
How am I supposed to compete with that?” I asked.

“Trust me, Lily.  I’m working on it, you have to believe me.” I stared him out, and felt I was forcing him into a corner, making him choose, when he had no choice to make really.

He had committed to Kara before he knew me. He couldn’t turn his back on her now. He let go of my hands and brought them up to my face.  His thumb pad smoothed over my cheek, as the palm of his other hand cradled my jawline.

“We’ll make it work. We have to try, and the situation won’t go on forever.” He smiled and dipped his forehead
to touch mine. He looked into my eyes, and I couldn’t help myself. I licked my lips and closed the space between us. It had been so long since I had kissed him. I needed to feel close to him, to touch him, to taste him.

My lips closed on his and his head immediately tilted, his tongue pushing gently into my mouth.  He curled it around mine
, and I moaned loudly.

He trembled in anticipation, his body vibrating next to me as he held himself back from unleashing his pent up feelings of passion, pain, hurt, love
, and desperation.

I knew this because
, like him, my body hummed as well. I was desperate for his hands to be on me, for him to claim me properly as his. I also needed him to be mine.

His hand slipped around my shoulder and grasped the back of my neck, sending shivers
throughout my body from the tip of my head to my toes.

The sensation pulled in my core, making my juices seep
and drench the material between my legs. His touch did crazy things to me.

He made me lose control of everything. Alfie pushed me back and lay on me. His hard body, crushing down on mine as his kiss became much hungrier.

“You’re crushing me,” I mumbled against his lips, struggling to fill my lungs, partly due to the kiss and partly because of his weight on me. He rolled us over and pulled me on top of him.

“Better?”
He smirked, looking up at me with lust in his eyes.

His hands moved from my back to my ass,
and he thrust up a little pressing himself against me. I almost lost control when he did that, and ground myself against him a little. I was holding myself back, trying not to let him know exactly what he did to me every time he touched me.

If we did anything, it would be because I wanted to, not because he manipulated me. He slid his hands deftly down the back of my jeans, cupping my ass through my little lace panties. “Fuck, so sexy
,” he hissed into my neck before kissing me again.

Our kisses left us both breathless. It had felt like forever since the last time we did this. He panted, and glanced at me smiling, before muttering
in my ear. “Same again… less clothing!” His voice was husky, his eyes had changed with more green showing his lust for me.

He flipped me over and stood up, pulling me off the bed to stand in front of him. He smiled that sexy lopsided smile, his eyes locked in a stare with me that was so intense it was almost palpable.

He put his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. “You smell amazing, honey.” His hands wrapped around my lower back, and he pulled me into him, touching me from our lips to our hips. “We’re not fucking losing this,” he growled before kissing me passionately again, pulling me against him tightly.

It was a fierce, angry kiss, and my lips felt bruised and swollen by the time he pulled back again and left me struggling to breathe.
“Less clothes!  Much less clothes… I need to feel you, skin on skin,” he mumbled again, putting his arm over his shoulder and pulling his own t-shirt over his head.

I crossed my arms, about to lift the hem of my
t-shirt. He put his hands over mine. “No…me, I want to do that.” His stare was serious.  Gazing into my eyes, he gripped the bottom of my top as he began to lift it.

His thumbs brushed over my breasts as he pulled it up. “You’re so fucking fine, baby. 
Breathtaking… steals my breath away, Lily,” he murmured as he pulled the material above my breasts.

His hands left my clothing after pushing my
t-shirt high and cupped my breasts through my bra as his head dipped to kiss them through the material before finishing his task.

He stood away from me and checked me out appreciatively. “So fucking beautiful, you
fulfil every fantasy I ever had of a woman. You have no idea of what you do to me, Lily.”

I didn’t smile
; I wasn’t interested in him telling me how beautiful I was or what he wanted, I wanted him to make me forget everything for a while.

I reached out and unbuttoned the waistband of his jeans, my fingers hooking onto the zipper. I slowly pulled it down, and slid my hand inside.  Alfie hissed, inhaling sharply. “Ah,
fuck, so fucking good,” he whispered and threw his head back.

My fingers wrapped gently around him
, and I slowly pulled my hand up the length of his shaft, rubbing and palming him before hooking my thumbs into the band and pulling his jeans down his legs. I bent my legs and crouched before him, taking the heavy weight of him in my palm again.  He felt soft and velvety but solid at the same time.

He pulled my hands away, and held them in his outstretched arms, grinning devilishly at me and shaking his head. “I’m not letting you play with that tonight
. I’ll come, and the only place I plan on doing that is inside you.”

It turned me on when he spoke dirty to me like that. “Who says you’re doing that?” I frowned. He pulled my arms down by my sides and held them tightly, restricting me from moving them.

“Who says I’m not?” He smirked and winked at me, before he released my arms, pushing me back onto the bed and began tickling me.

His playful smile dropped
, and he was suddenly serious.  He began to undo the button of my jeans, dipping his head to kiss my belly. He pulled my jeans down slowly.

His hands quickly skimmed between my legs and across my panties. He followed the rough jean material with kisses on each leg as he dragged them down to my ankles.

He lifted my legs up and pushed my knees to my chest, my jeans restricting my leg movements. He buried his nose into the lace of my panties, quickly followed by his mouth. Kissing and sucking me through the lace.

“Oh, shit!” I screamed as the suddenness of his mouth on me made my juices pour out of me onto the flimsy material.

“You’re fucking soaking wet,” he growled, and pulled the material between my legs to the side with his teeth.

“Damn
,” he muttered. “So ready for me, so wet, you’re too fucking much for me.” He growled a loud guttural sound as he pulled my panties to the side and buried his tongue deep inside me.  I was on my side, pinned to the bed, and I couldn’t move.

His hands clamped over my hips and pushed me down, as his tongue flicked around and inside my wet heat. I groaned with delight at the sensation of his strong tongue, taking me higher, making my body coil as tightly as a spring until I came undone. “
Alfie, yeah, yeah, shit… stop.”

Alfie’s tongue
slowed, but kept moving on me with slow, featherlight flicks and kisses. He raised his eyes and looked at me. He lifted his head,“Okay?”

I smiled
. “If that was okay, I’m scared of the great,” I teased playfully.

He grinned and widened his eyes. “I could do this all day to you
,” he murmured softly. “Your taste is like nothing I’ve had, but it’s something I never knew I couldn’t do without until I’d had you.”

He planted a chaste kiss on my mound then fell back on his heels before lifting my legs and part
ing them at the knee again, hooking them over his shoulders. “Get out of that one,” he teased.

My jeans were still around my ankles, the lower half of my body was completely at his mercy. Alfie’s fingers curled
around the lace of my panties, and he tugged hard, ripping them clean off of me before throwing them behind him. “Now, then, enough of this novice shit. It’s time to get serious.”

He wiggled his
eyebrows, his face looking like he’d been told he’d won a full scholarship to porn school. I giggled at his humor.  This was the Alfie that stole my heart.

He stopped what he was doing and was lying still between my legs.

“What are you doing, Alfie?” He hadn’t moved for a full minute.

“Just
… looking,”  he stated, as if it was perfectly normal to have an interlude in the throes of passion. I giggled and scrunched my body forward, swatting his head. 

He gave me eye contact. “What?” he asked, giving me
an I’m-not-doing-anything-wrong look.

“This is kind of embarrassing for me, lying here with you doing that, Alfie.” I smirked, briefly hiding my eyes and tried to twist my hips to close my legs a bit.

“Why? Lily, you could totally be a vagina model.” He looked completely serious, and I belly laughed. He chuckled with me. “I’m dead serious, Lily, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a prettier one.” He kept looking back at it as he spoke to me.

I just stared at him, my mouth gaping that he was really studying me. “I mean you’re outer lips, what are they called?
”

I cringed
. “Labia Majora.”

“
Yeah, the puffy ones, you have just enough, not too much.” I giggled again.

“Seriously, Alfie, can you stop, this is turning into an anatomy session.
”

He grinned and chuckled again
. “Your point being?” He was deadpan, looking in disbelief at me.

“How would you like it if I stared at your cock and discussed with it with you.” He bent forward and kissed my vagina lips, his tongue dipping inside me.

He kissed it as thoroughly as he did my mouth. He raised his head again. “I wouldn’t mind, I know I could easily be a penis model.” He grinned. “Or a snake decoy.”

I burst out laughing again
. “What the fu… a snake decoy?” He looked down, checking his cock out before looking up and grinning at me again.

“Definitely, it’s long enough, don’t you think?” I giggled, but stopped abruptly when he focused on my core again.

He kissed it thoroughly again and replaced his mouth with his fingers, sliding first one, then two inside. “Damn, so wet and ready for me. You’re a great kisser down here by the way.” He gestured with his eyes to my pussy lips. “Did I ever tell you that?” 

I chuckled
. “You’re insane.” He gave me a lopsided smile.

“Only when I’m with you, Lily, it’s your fault.”

Alfie lifted my legs back over his shoulders and pulled my jeans completely off. I groaned, my legs ached.  I didn’t realize this until I had freedom of movement in them again.

Alfie crawled up and turned to face me, lying alongside me. This wasn’t like
Alfie, usually he was all over me and didn’t stop until he had what he wanted from me.