EXONERATION (INTERFERENCE)

EXONERATION

Six Years Later

“Mommy! Mommy, Snowball’s sick!” my daughter shouted while charging into my bedroom with her white Persian cat flopping in her arms.

“
What? What’s wrong with Snowball?” I asked, sitting up from a dead sleep.

“I don’t know. She’s sick. Fix her, Mommy. Please!”

I took the cat from my hysterical daughter and knew she was right. The cat was obviously very ill. 

“Did she get into something?”

“I don’t know. Fix her…fix her, Mommy!”

“It’s
Sunday after midnight. The vet’s closed.” I looked down at the cat and knew she wouldn’t last through the night without medical intervention. “How long has she been like this?” I asked.                           

“I don’t know. I
didn’t see her all day…until now.”

I sighed.
“Okay, I’ll call the vet. They have to have someone on call for Dr. Jenkins’ office.”

I called our vet’s office and got the service. I was told to go to Small Creature’s Veterinary Clinic and the ‘on call’ vet would meet me there.

“I want to go!” my daughter yelled.

“You should stay home with…your father,” I said, still having a difficult time calling him that…even after six years with the title, I knew Parker Hayes was not and could never truly be her father. But, he had stepped in, asking for the job and the responsibility, and just like I had done with everything else…after I lost…him, I went along with it. We were married in a little church three weeks after I gave birth to my daughter. 

So now, faced with the dilemma of taking my daughter out in the cold at 1:30 in the morning, or leaving her with the man that called himself her father, yet had nothing to do with her…I chose to take her with me.

It was a cold night, so I bundled her up in her warm jacket, threw on some old jeans and grabbed a box from the closet for Snowball. The cat didn’t even make a sound when I put her in the box, so I knew we had to hurry or she might not make it.

I punched the address into the GPS in my car and quickly made my way to the clinic.  I noticed another car and silently thanked God that the vet had made it there before us.             

I grabbed my daughters hand and then the box and we walked into the clinic. I looked around for the vet, but didn’t see anyone. “Hello?” I called.

I heard movement in the next room and assumed the vet was back there. I locked the door behind me and turned on the television in the corner of the room for Shannon.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ll only be on the other side of this door. You stay here and watch cartoons. You call me if you need me, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, already engrossed in an episode of a popular Disney show.

I grabbed the cat and headed through the doors. The vet had his back to me and said, “I’ll be right with you.”

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard his voice. I froze in that exact spot, unable to move…or breathe. Finally, when my body rejected the forced lack of oxygen, I started to breathe fast…too fast. I was starting to hyperventilate, and I needed to sit down. No, I needed to run. I looked down, but the cat…Snowball wasn’t going to make it…and it was too late, he was already turning around.
Oh God, please don’t let it be…him…

“So, what exactly…” he stopped, just as shocked as I was.

So many things were running through my head. The way he held me, kissed me, made love to me…left me. He missed our wedding and the birth of our child. And as I stood there looking into the eyes of the man I had grown to hate…but still desperately loved, I reached down deep, trying to hold on to any bit of strength I could muster. I forced my breathing to return to normal and ignored the emotions coursing through me.
You’re here for the cat! You’re here for the cat!

“Um, I don’t know…what’s wrong with her…”

“Rebecca!” He took a step toward me.

I stepped back, unwilling to let him in…ever again. He’d already killed me once. I couldn’t let him do it again.

“The cat! My daughter’s cat! She’s sick.”

He nodded and slowly walked toward me and carefully took the box out of my hands. I was staring into those eyes…our daughter’s eyes, and I almost faltered and reached out to him, begging him to hold me, to tell me it was all a lie, but I heard her giggling in the other room and I once again found the strength to pretend I didn’t know who he was…or pretend that I didn’t care.

“I’ll um, I’ll take a look,” he said, never taking his eyes off me.

He had grown up…filled out. He was always tall and thin, but now he was virile and strong. He had lost that boyish edge and now he was all man. He had a strong jaw line with a hint of a five o’clock shadow, broad shoulders leading down to strong ar
ms. My breathing was erratic. I wasn’t sure if it was fear or desire; maybe both. He was even more strikingly handsome than before and I scolded myself as I wished he’d just take me in his arms and make the pain go away. But, I was a married woman and he’d hurt me more than anyone else ever could. So, I stood back and silently watched him tend to the cat. Every once in a while I’d catch him glance up at me. And his eyes, although the same beautiful color, they seemed…cold, no, that wasn’t it…they seemed bleak…guarded, maybe.

I caught myself staring at him, but when he looked
up from the cat, I looked away; embarrassed to let him even think I had any feelings left for him whatsoever.

“Did Snowball get into anything?” he asked, obviously knowing I wasn’t ready to talk to him, or face it just yet.   

“What?” I asked, unable to focus on anything but him. I had dreamt about this man every night for years. And yet, every day I’d wake up and force him out of my head, willing myself to go on, for our daughter’s sake.
Oh my God, my daughter…our daughter…was in the next room. He could never know.
I forced myself to calm down. She was safe, and as soon as he fixed the damned cat, we’d leave and never return.

“Did Snowball get into anything?
A poison maybe?”

“No, I don’t keep anything like that in the house. We have a monthly pest control…but, it’s supposed to be safe for the animals.” I sounded almost…normal.

“We?” he asked.

“What?”

“You said, ‘we.’ So, does that mean you’re still…never mind. I’m going to run some tests. I’ll start an IV and re-hydrate her, and then I’ll know more in the morning.”             

I nodded and grabbed my purse and started to walk out.

“Rebecca!”

“I have to go.”

“Please…can we talk?”

It was at that moment I realized I was no longer afraid, but angry. I turned to face him. “Oh, now you want to talk?”

“Well, at least you admit you know me.”

“I thought I did! Will you be here tomorrow?”
I asked, physically shaking and not quite sure how I was able to stand.

“Until four pm.”

“You can have your secretary call me and keep me posted on how she’s doing.”

“Are you happy?” he asked, taking a step toward me.

I didn’t answer. I turned back toward the door.

“Rebecca, can we meet…talk…please?” he begged. I realized he was doing it again. Making me believe he cared. I mustered up the courage to face him. 

“I have nothing to say to you! You don’t exist! Not now, not ever! Just…fix the damn cat!” There were tears streaming down my cheeks now.

“You know I didn’t want to leave you! I didn’t have a choice!”

Now I was furious. I dried my tears and took a step toward him. “How the Hell would I know that? I didn’t know anything! You left! You left without telling me why!”

“I know you
were hurt. I’m sorry…”

“NO! NO! You don’t get to say you’re sorry! Not now! You had your chance seven years ago! Too little, too late! You’re off at four tomorrow, so I’ll pick up Snowball at
Five
, so I don’t ever have to see you again!”

“I know that you’re angry, and I know I shouldn’t have come back, but I had to at least be near you. I’ve been planning on coming by to talk…”

He was starting to walk toward me, but stopped. He was staring past me, lost in thought. I saw a look of shock on his face. I turned my head to see what he was so engrossed in and saw my daughter…his daughter.

“Are you okay, Mommy?” she asked. I’m sure she heard me yelling.

“I’m fine, Honey. Let’s go.”

“What about Snowball?”

“She’ll be fine,” I said, praying I wasn’t lying to my daughter, but I needed to get out of there.

She ran past me and looked in the box. “She’s still sick,” she cried.

Shane bent down and looked into what I’m sure he recognized as his own eyes and said, “I think she’ll be okay. I have some medicine for her. Um, what’s your name?”

“Let’s go, Honey!” I said, grabbing her by the hand.

“Rebecca!” he shouted, but I kept pulling her away.

He ran after us and stepped in front of me. He looked in my eyes, searching for what he knew to be the truth. But I looked away.

He bent down again, “How old are you?” he asked her.

“She just turned
five! Now, let’s go.” I said, pulling her along quickly.

“Mommy…”

“We have to go!” I ordered, not wanting her to contradict me, but I knew it was hopeless.

We made it to the door and she turned to Shane and said, “You’re going to fix Snowball…for sure?”

“I’m going to try my best.”

She smiled at him and I thought we were going to make it out the door before she gave anything away. But, true to her overly friendly and outgoing nature, she
pulled her hand free from mine and ran to him. He bent down once again and she hugged him. She was six years old and it was the first time she’d ever hugged her real father. He looked up at me while holding on to her and he knew…he could read it in my eyes.

“What’s your name?” she asked once she pulled away from him.

“Shane. What’s yours?”

“Shannon!”

“Shannon…” he glanced at me. “That’s a very pretty name. It was my mom’s name, too,” he said, looking back at his daughter.

“My mom’s name is Rebecca. But, Daddy calls her
Beccs! She hates that. Don’t call her that.”

I was crying, listening to my daughter…
our daughter
talk to her father for the first time.

“And, I’m not five, I’m six!” she said, confirming his suspicions without doubt.

“I guess your mom forgot.”

“No, she’s just
worried about Snowball. But, she’ll get over it once you fix her. Don’t you think you should go do that?” she asked, looking concerned about her cat once again.

“Yeah, I guess I should. It was really nice meeting you, Shannon. I hope to see you tomorrow.” He stood up and walked over to me.

I was still crying.

“Mommy, it’s okay, Snowball will be alright. Shane’s
gonna fix her.”

“I know, Honey. I know. Let’s go.” I grabbed our daughter’s hand and we walked out of the clinic.

“Rebecca, we need to talk.”

I wiped my eyes and said, “No, we don’t! Goodbye…Shane.”

I Hate Scotch!

Parker was still asleep when we got home, having no idea we’d even gone. I put Shannon back to bed and went to the bar and poured a large glass of Scotch and I downed it. It burned all the way down, but somehow it was soothing. The pain dulled my other senses just a little, but not enough. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry over Shane Ramsay in years, but seeing him brought it all back. I sat on the couch drinking Parker’s $200.00 bottle of scotch and I cried, and I didn’t stop. He knew about Shannon. I scolded myself for naming her that. No one knew why I chose that name. They only assumed that I chose it because it sounded like Shane. And, I never would give any reason other than I liked it. But, secretly I was hoping he’d come back to me and we could have our fairy tale life. That he’d be proud I’d named her after his mother.