Exposure (21 page)

“I knew it.” He joined us on the bench. “Explain yourselves.”

“Light one up,” I said ruefully. “You’ll understand.”

His eyebrows rose, but Hi dug out his shades. Seconds later, he gasped as the inferno erupted inside him.

“
Ahhhh.
” Hi linked his hands behind his head. “That’s nice. Does this mean we don’t need to sleep anymore?”

“Of course not.” Exactly the thinking I feared. “I’m no flare expert—who is?—but I know
everything
comes with a price. When you burn energy, it’s gone. Freeing the wolf probably taps a hidden reserve. Useful, obviously, but we can’t cheat the laws of physics just by using our powers.”

“I don’t know, Tor.” Hi tapped his feet. “I feel pretty damn super right now.”

“This is what Ben was talking about,” Shelton added.

My head whipped. “Huh?”

Shelton’s fingers found his ear. “Nothing. Just something he mentioned.”

I glanced at Hi, who looked away.

“Boys?” I stood and faced them. “Something to share?”

“It
was
a secret.” Hi aimed a kick a Shelton, who dodged easily. “Ben made us swear not to tell you.”

I crossed my arms. Waited.

“Ben flares first thing every morning,” Shelton said. “He says it centers him. Makes him strong. He said
we
should do it, too.”

Hi shrugged. “Maybe he’s right. Right now, tell me you don’t feel great. I might go beat someone up.”

“No.” I felt certain. “Ben is being incredibly reckless.”

Hi spread his hands. “Right now, who are we to judge?”

Ouch. Hi had a point.

“Snuff ’em,” I ordered. “Now.”

SNUP.

The power vanished. I nearly groaned at the loss.

Still, I felt better than before. Some lethargy crept back, but not much. I couldn’t deny that flaring had chased away most of my exhaustion.

But I didn’t trust it.

Nothing is that easy. Every action has consequences.

Hi and Shelton removed their sunglasses.

“I feel fresher,” Hi said. “Fact is fact. Maybe Ben’s not as crazy as you think.”

“Ben’s gambling blindfolded,” I said firmly. “He’s gone way too far. Flaring in public. Flaring for pleasure. Flaring just to face the day! He’s totally out of control, taking risks we
all
might suffer for. It has to stop.”

Shelton slid his prescription specs onto his nose. “So what are you going to do?”

“Talk some sense into him. Right now.”

• • •

I took a city bus from the marina to Mount Pleasant, then connected to a local line. A few more stops, and I was standing outside Wando High.

Which was crazy.

Hi and Shelton would cover for me at Bolton, but I didn’t have a clue where to find Ben. This was not the greatest plan ever concocted.

I have to talk to him. Things have gotten out of hand.

I was testing various excuses to summon Ben from class when I spotted him.

Ben was loitering in the parking lot, chatting with two other guys. He wore his standard black tee and jeans. His taller companion sported a purple ski cap despite the eighty-degree weather, while the other boy had an inch-thick wallet chain hanging from his cargo shorts.

“Cutting class,” I muttered. “That idiot.”

Ben did a double-take when he spotted me, then slowly shook his head. As I drew near, he whispered something under his breath. His moron buddies exploded in laughter.

I’ll kill him. Then murder him afterward.

“What the hell are you doing?” Not the most diplomatic of greetings, but my temper was long gone. “Is your first class Parking Lot Maintenance?”

Ben waved a hand at me. “You see what I mean?”

Wallet Chain chuckled as he toked a cigarette. “That’s not very nice, sweetheart.”

“You’ll never land a man like that,” added Ski Cap. “This ain’t Beantown.”

“Ben?” Seething. “May I speak to you privately?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Give me a sec, guys. I’ve been naughty.”

I waited until the stoners were out of earshot.

“Great crew you’ve assembled.” Dripping with sarcasm.

“Leave them out of this,” Ben warned. “What, I can’t even
have
friends, now that I’ve been kicked from the Ivory Tower?”

“Maybe go to class. You might find a better peer group in there.”

Ben snorted. “I’m pretty sure
you
have class right now, too.”

Touché.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded. “We’re packmates and all, but you’re not my mother. I’ve already got one of those, thanks.”

I took a calming breath. Yelling at Ben would get me nowhere.

“Hi and Shelton told me you’ve been flaring every morning. To feel good.” Hiding my guilt at having just done the same.

It was . . . an experiment. I won’t do it again. I won’t!

Ben snorted, tucking his long black hair behind his ears. “Remind me to compliment their secret-keeping skills.”

“Ben!” I forced him to meet my eyes. “That
can’t
be a good idea.”

“Why not? For all we know, flaring might be the healthiest thing ever. We don’t know.” He pointed a finger. “
You
don’t know.”

Valid point. But my instincts were clear.

I chose a different tack. “Every time you flare in public, you put our lives in danger. Not just your own. Mine. Hi’s. Shelton’s. The whole pack, Ben.”

“I’m careful.” Dismissive. “You might not believe this, Victoria, but I’m not an idiot.”

“Then don’t
act
like one! Show some restraint. Show some
character.
”

I regretted the last word even as I spoke it.

“Oh, I see.” Ben looked away. “This is still about what I did.”

“No, it isn’t.”
Was it?

“I’ve apologized.” Ben scuffed the pavement with a shoe. I could feel him shutting down. “A hundred times. I can’t make you accept it.”

My lips froze. No words came.

I didn’t know what to say. Honestly didn’t know if I’d forgiven him.

Ben looked me square in the eye. “I can’t undo my mistakes,” he said quietly. “No one can. If you can’t get past it, there’s nothing more to say.”

He turned and headed for the building.

“Ben. Wait.”

He didn’t stop. In seconds I was alone in the parking lot.

“Damn it.”

Walking back to the bus stop, I was more upset than ever. This trip had accomplished nothing. I might’ve screwed things up even worse.

I couldn’t get through to Ben. He wouldn’t listen.

What’d you expect? Technically, you’re not even talking to him.

My steps slowed.

When was the last time Ben and I had spoken alone?

The hurricane. The hospital.

When he admitted his feelings for me.

The realization jarred me to a standstill.

That morning’s fight had been our first private conversation in
five
months.

I never said anything back. About
any
of it.

Because I don’t know what to say.

Suddenly, the hairs on my arm stood at attention. With a slap of awareness, I realized
it
was happening again. The ephemeral feeling had returned, lodging at the edge of my conscious thoughts. I could barely detect its presence.

I stopped dead, extending my arms like wings, as if achieving outward balance might create the same within me.

No good. The sensation abruptly winked out, leaving no trace.

“This is getting
really
annoying,” I muttered.

My mind raced, struggling to record some data about the mysterious feeling. Make even the slightest link to something I could recognize. Once more, I failed.

Wrapped in such thoughts, I nearly missed the BMW idling across the street.

Tinted windows blocked any view inside the vehicle. Its jet-black hood gleamed in the early morning sunshine.

Something about it felt . . . off.

The car was blocking a fire lane, close to nothing in particular. No stores. No restaurants. No businesses of any kind. There was no reason for anyone to park there.

Unless you’re watching the school.

Two dots connected in my mind. I’d seen that car before.

Yes. Switching buses by the library.

An identical BMW had circled the bus stop, then pulled into a McDonald’s across the highway. The shiny ride had caught my eye. I’d wondered, in passing, why no one had gotten out to make an order.

I halted with a sudden disturbing thought.

Was I being followed?

Before I could consider more, the BMW swerved into traffic and sped away.

I
shoved my lunch away.

No appetite. The visit to Wando High had been a disaster.

Hi glanced at my sandwich, one eyebrow raised.

I waved permission. He slid my tray before him with a grin.

“I
told
you it was a bad idea,” Shelton said between bites. “You can’t push Blue like that. He just doubles down on whatever he’s being stubborn about.”

Hi made a gagging noise. “Aw, what is this? Alfalfa sprouts.
Blech.
Pass.”

The tray came back my way. “Keep your horse food.”

“It was worse than that,” I admitted. “I hurt Ben’s feelings, too. He thinks I don’t trust him because of the Gamemaster.”

Hi swished his mouth with Diet Coke. “Well, do you?”

“Do what?” I asked, raising my voice to be heard over the cafeteria din.

“Trust him. Because last I checked, he was headlining your no-fly list.”

“I don’t know.” Rubbing my forehead “I mean, yes, I trust Ben. It’s not like I think he’d betray us again. Or that he’d known what his lies would lead to.”

I paused, trying to sort out my feelings. “It’s not a trust thing. It’s more about . . . forgiveness. I
want
to let it go, believe me. I just can’t seem to.” I blew out a breath. “Every time I think about what Ben did, the anger bubbles back up.”

Shelton nodded, but didn’t speak.

I leaned back in my chair. “How’d you guys get over it so fast?”

Hi shrugged. “It’s Ben. I’ve only got three real friends. I can’t afford to lose one over some Greek tragedy.”

My eyes narrowed. “Greek what?”

Hi slapped both hands on the table, fixed me with an intense stare. “Ben did it for love of a woman, Victoria. One he can never possess.”

My face burned. This topic we
never
discussed.

Shelton chuckled. “You’re such a dope, Stolowitski.”

Hi balled up his lunch bag and took aim at a nearby trash can. “It’s true, though.”

Throw. He missed by a good six feet.

“Foul!” Hi turned back to me, his face serious. “You wanna know why I forgave Ben so quickly? Because I felt sorry for him. Can you imagine being in his shoes?” Hi held up an index finger. “He took one little shortcut, to impress a girl he liked,
and it almost got his friends killed.
Almost got the
girl
killed. That’s you, by the way.”

Hi sat back in his chair. “I can’t imagine the guilt he must carry around.”

“It eats at him,” Shelton agreed. “All the time. Though he’d never let you see.”

I didn’t respond.

To be honest, I hadn’t thought about how Ben’s betrayal affected
Ben.

Something new to consider.

Hi leaned forward. “Our pack is only five strong. We
have
to forgive one another, even when it’s bad. How else are we gonna survive whatever comes next?”

Shelton nodded like a bobblehead. “Ben’s not just some guy, he’s family.
Pack.
You don’t throw that away.”

“I know!” My hands rose ineffectually. “I wish it were that easy. There’s more to—”

I cut my words short as Hiram’s gaze flicked to something over my shoulder.

“Hey, guys.” Jason’s voice was right behind me. “Hi, I rebounded your miss. Give it more arc next time. Follow through with the wrist.”

He set his tray down beside mine.

My fingers found the bridge of my nose. I didn’t have time for our usual dance.

“Jason!” I snapped. “Private conversation! Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” he said smoothly, smiling, but unable to hide the hurt in his eyes. “I was on my way out anyway. Later.” Jason strode toward the exit, a pace too quickly.

Shelton and Hi both gave me a look.

“What?” Then I covered my face with both hands. “Argh! I can’t stop screwing up today.”

“He’ll be fine,” Shelton offered. “I think.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Hi said. “Jason always bounces back. That guy’s like a puppy dog, he can’t stay mad at you. Let’s get back to that beemer. You really think it was following you?”

“I don’t know anymore.” I slumped in my seat. “You shouldn’t trust anything I say this morning. I’m cursed.”

“The Fairy Dust witch!” Hi whispered, waggling his eyebrows. “She got you.”

“Blargh.”

“I’m keeping an eye out anyway,” Shelton stuffed his lunch bag into his backpack. “If I see a black BMW on my six, I’m running first, asking questions later.”