Read Faded (Rock Star Trilogy) Online
Authors: Mercy Amare
She tries to pull me forward, but
my feet stay firmly in place. “I can't.”
She narrows her eyes. “Yes, you can. And you will. Right now.”
I follow her down the stairs. “I'm not going, Bridge. I don't even know what to say to him! He probably hates me.”
“You can start with
I'm sorry
,” she suggests.
I shake my head. “You didn't see the look on his face when he came to
get me in LA. I broke his heart when I didn’t come back with him. He definitely doesn't want to see me.”
“And you haven't seen him in a week, Scar. Yes, you broke his heart, but he misses you like
crazy.” She pouts. “Please, apologize to him. Even if he doesn't forgive you right away, at least you will feel better. You
owe
him an apology. It’s the only way either one of you can move past this.”
Damn, my sister is smart
— a lot smarter than I am.
“Ok
ay,” I agree. “But let fix my hair and makeup first.”
She looks at the messy bun, and nod
s. “Only because if you go to his house looking like this, he will think it's me.”
8:03 PM
Beautiful mess.
I am a nervous wreck as I walk over to Stephan's house. My palms are literally sweating, and my
heart feels like it's going to beat its way
out
of my chest. You’d think I was about to donate a kidney, not apologize. It shouldn’t be this hard.
I walk up to his front door,
take a deep breath, and then ring the doorbell.
There. That wasn’t so hard.
Ethan answers.
He looks at me for a few seconds. I think he's trying to figure out if I'm Scarlett or Bridgett.
“Scarlett?” he asks, still unsure.
I nod. I try to say something, but I can't. I'm having a hard enough time breathing.
Words would be impossible right now.
“Stephan is in his room,” he says, knowing exactly why I'm here.
“Thanks,” I choke out.
I walk up the stairs to Stephan's bedroom. His door is closed, and I hesitate before knocking. I put my hand up to the door,
and pull it away a few times. Finally, I get up the courage and knock twice.
I feel like I'm going to vomit while I wait for him to open the door. Every second feels like an hour. But, at last, Stephan opens the door
, and he freezes as he sees me.
When I see his face, it is then that I realize just how much I missed him. Without hesitation, I
throw my arms around him. It catches him off guard, and we stumble back a couple of feet before he steadies us.
After a few seconds, he hugs me back, and every part of my body is aware of our closeness. I missed this. I missed him. I missed
us
.
Stephan is the one to pull away.
“Scarlett...”
Wow. My name sounds good on his lips.
“I'm sorry.” My voice breaks as I apologize. “Like you said, I am a selfish bitch. I can't believe I just left you without saying goodbye.”
He looks at me for a few seconds before responding. I can tell he still hasn't gotten over the shock of me being here.
“I missed you,” he says. “So fucking much. And I am
so mad at you
for leaving, but you're here now, and
that
is what matters.”
“I missed you, too,” I tell him.
He looks down at me. “Why did it take you so long to come back?”
“I didn't think you wanted me to come back. Not after what happened in LA.” I shake my head at the memory. Why didn't I just go with him?
Why do I have to be so stupid and stubborn?
“I should have fought harder to get you to come back.” The way he says it, I can tell he's given it a lot of thought. “I just couldn't. You broke my heart, Scar. Dammit, I hadn't even realized you
had
my heart.”
“Do you think we could
ever go back to how we were?” It's what I want more than anything... to just will the past week and a half away.
He shakes his head
. “Things will never be like they were. How could it be? But it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just
different
. My feelings for you haven't changed. If anything, they've grown stronger. We can only move forward from here, not back.”
“I hate this person I am. Instead of facing
my problems, I ran. I am a pathetic mess.” I feel a tear slip down my cheek, and I hate that I’m weak. I haven’t cried since I was fifteen, and now I can’t seem to hold my tears in. “I want to move forward, Stephan. But for me to move forward, I
have
to face my past. The past is the part that scares me.”
He nods knowingly. “I know, Scar. Me too.”
“Are you sure that you
want
to move forward with somebody like me?” I have to ask. He deserves better than me, and I know it.
He laughs, almost bitterly. “Are
you
sure you want to move forward with
me
? I’m pretty screwed up myself. And what’s happening between us
isn't just some high school romance. This is the real thing. Are you sure you’re ready for it?”
“Stephan,
I…
”
love
,
“…
really like you. More than I've ever liked anybody, ever. And maybe it's too soon to feel this strongly about you, but I don't care. And even if you break my heart, I know it will be worth every second of pain. What we have is a
once in a lifetime
kind of thing.”
I never believed in soul mates until I met him. But it’s true he is the other piece of me. If we broke up, I would never find somebody that completes me like Stephan Montgomery.
“I'm not going to break your heart.” He's very confident in his statement. “And by the way,
I…
”
He pauses, and I am literally holding my breath
.
“…
really like
you too.”
I feel kind of sad. Did I really expect him to say he
loves
me? He told me he wasn't going to say that to anybody, except his future wife. And we are too young to think like that.
“What are you thinking?”
he asks, curiously.
I take a deep breath and look up at him.
I want to tell him, but I don’t think I can. I just shrug my shoulders. “I’m just thinking how happy I am to be back.”
“I've known you long enough to know
that something is wrong. I can see sadness in your pretty blue eyes. Just tell me.”
I shake my head.
So badly I want to tell him that I love him, because I do. But I'm not going to say it to somebody who won't say it back to me. And even though Stephan just told me that he wouldn't break my heart, I think he did.
“I should get back
over there. I left Alec and Bridgett alone… I'll… um… see you later,” I tell him, and then run out of his room as fast as I can. I was seriously about to cry right in front of him, again.
Wow, when did I turn into
this
person — the over-emotional, clingy girl? It’s not like me.
I really am pathetic
.
“Scarlett!” I hear Stephan yelling behind me as I run out the front door. I don't stop though. I just keep running, because
running is what I'm good at
. I will avoid this conversation as long as I can.
Besides, can I really love?
What is love
?
IS
this love? Maybe I’m just so pathetic that I’m trying to feel something that isn’t there.
I stop when I get to the sidewalk
. I drop down to my knees, and let the tears run freely down my face. I'm sure that I look like a raccoon, but I don't care.
“You can
’t shut me out forever!” Stephan sounds angry. He has every right to be angry.
“Look at me, Stephan,” I yell back. “I'm a pathetic mess!”
He shakes his head. “You're a
beautiful
mess.”
And just like that, I smile. Stephan
always
knows how to make me smile. He helps me off of the ground, and then steps closer to me.
“Can I kiss you?”
“
I thought you would never ask
.”
Stephan's lips crash into mine, and I feel hot, like heat is literally pulsing through my veins. He puts his hand on the small of my back, and pulls me closer. Every inch of our bodies are touching, but it isn't enough, and it's then that I realize
— I will
never
get enough of Stephan.
His tongue slips inside of my mouth,
and I moan from the ecstasy. I wonder what else he can do with his tongue. I hope to find out
very
soon
.
I feel Stephan's hand travel south, and he cups my ass. I'm so turned on that I can hardly stand it. I pull back, even though I
really don't want to
. And I wouldn't if we weren't standing on the side of the road in front of his parents’ house.
“You're driving me crazy,” I pant.
“Good,” is his breathy reply. He then proceeds to kiss his way down my neck. I feel his finger trace the top of my cleavage.
“Stephan,” I beg, though
I'm not sure exactly what I'm
begging
for. I'm torn. Part of me wants to let him take me right here. I don't care who is watching. But the other part of me, the sensible side, knows that probably both Bridgett and Alec are watching from the window next door. The non-sensible side is definitely winning.
“Yes?” he answers, his lips still on my neck. I feel the vibration all the way down to my toes.
What was I going to say, again?
Oh, right. Sister and best friend are next door.
I push him back gently. There is now two inches between us, and I already miss his touch. “Bridgett and Alec are probably watching us.” My eyes glance over to my house. I was right. They are both staring out the window. Bridgett gives me a thumbs up.
Stephan pulls me close again. “T
hen let's give them something worth watching.”
His lips once again crush
onto mine, and I'm about to lose myself completely when I hear a car pull up. I open my eyes to see Stephan's mom, Sarah James, getting out of her red Corvette. I push him back once more.
“Hey, Scarlett,” she greets me,
with a small wave. “We've missed you around here. I hope you're staying.”
Stephan, w
ith his arms around me, replies, “She's not going anywhere.”
I can't stop the smile. “Definitely not.”
He tightens his grip. “Mom, we were kind of in the middle of something.”
“Get a room,” she laughs, and then heads inside the house.
I hit Stephan's arm playfully. “Stephan! Oh my God! I can't believe you just said that to your mom!”
“Oh come on, Scar. If I
weren’t acting like this, she would think I was gay. You're fucking hot, in case you forgot.”
I bi
te my lip to keep from smiling and shake my head. “I'm going home now. I'll see you in the morning.”
“Good night,” Stephan says, giving me one last quick kiss on the lips.
As I walk back to my house, I feel like I am floating. If kissing Stephan makes me feel like this, I can't even imagine how great making love with him will be.
When I walk
inside, Alec gives me a knuckle bump. “I thought you two were going to have sex on the sidewalk.”
“Told you
.” Bridgett smiles, ignoring Alec’s comment.
“That was hot. I seriously got
turned on just watching,” Alec continues. “Why aren’t the both of you on your way to your room right now?”
I just shake my head.
Oh, Alec.
I'm definitely going to have to keep an eye on him around Bridgett.
Friday, October 16
6:06 AM
Life as I know it is over.
When I first wake up, I'm about
to dive under a desk because I think there's an earthquake. But then I remember I'm not in California. I open my eyes and see Alec jumping on my bed.
“What the fuck?” I glare at him.
He laughs. “I see you're still not a morning person.”
I glance at the clock. “No, I'm
not
a morning person at six AM.”
“You just need caffeine. Where is the Starbucks in this town?”
I laugh. “There is
no
Starbucks, Alec. But I do have a coffee pot. Bridgett makes amazing coffee.”
“No Starbucks?” He
dramatically puts his hands over his chest. “How am I going to survive in this town? We are going to have to record your album fast.”
“Yeah, I guess I need to get the ok
ay from my record company soon. We should probably fly to LA this weekend.” I pout, because I
really
don't
want
to
go
.
“Not this weekend,” Alec quickly says. “This weekend, I have other plans for us. I have a way to get the record company on board. Actually, it was Bridgett's plan, but it was seriously awesome. That girl is a smart bitch. I was worried when she first said she was going to be your manager, but now I see that she knows her shit.”
“Yeah, she is awesome,” I agree. I should be offended that he called my sister a
bitch
, but Alec calls everybody that. “Why are you up this early? Aren't you still on LA time?”
“I have stuff to do, Scar. This
album isn't going to record itself. I'm going to see if there is a recording studio in this small town good enough to work out of. I also need to look for musicians, and other things that I can't mention yet.”
“Can't mention?” I question.
“Again, me and Bridge have a plan.”
Bridge
? Great, he's calling her by
my
nickname. This cannot be good.
“And it starts first thi
ng after school. So as soon as your last class is over, get your ass back here,” he demands. “Also, get used to being woken up early. It's going to happen frequently over the next few months.”
Oh my
God, I am going to kill Alec before we are done recording this album.
“I hate you.”
“Oh, you don't, but you will.” He smirks at me. “Now get up. I'm going to have Bridgett make me some of this amazing coffee.”
Alec walks out of my room, and I throw a pillow over my head and scream.
Life as I know it is over
.
7:23 AM
Things are about to get really interesting around here.
Today, I am wearing my hair wavy. I love my hair like this, but generally don't fix it
this way. My dad told me once that I look best with wavy hair, so obviously, anything I can do to piss him off, I d
o…
Like straightening my hair on a daily basis. I'm also wearing a short, black skirt. It flows half way down my thighs, and I like it. I also happen to know Stephan will like it. I match it with a white tank top, my black-laced bra, and black wedge heels.
It's still hot in Florida. The high today is 85, which I love. I think I can definitely get used to this.
When I walk into the kitchen, I am surprised to see Stephan sitting at the bar with Alec. Bridgett is pulling muffins out of the oven. I grab a cup of coffee and sit by Stephan.
“Alec was just filling me in on the craziness that is about to star
t…
”
Alec cuts him off. “Yeah, we aren't telling Scarlett yet.”
I glare at him. “How come Stephan get's to know, but not me? That's so unfair!”
“Because I am not going to give you time to
back out.” Alec flashes his mischievous smil
e…
The one that makes all the girls swoon. I’ve grown immune to his powers over the years.
I take a drink of my coffee and choose to ignore Alec. I know that whatever he is hiding I won't get out of him until he's ready. He's probably the most stubborn person I've ever met
, even more so than me.
“So,” I turn to Stephan
. “Am I going to get in trouble for missing so much school?”
Bridgett answers for him. “Alec and I already talked to your principal. We worked everything out.”
Is there anything they haven't thought of?
“By
the way, I'm having my car flown here. Bridge and me are going to go pick it up later today,” he informs me. Alec loves cars. He recently purchased a red Audi R8 GT. He changes cars every three to six months, which seems a bit excessive, but this
is
Alec we're talking about. Everything about him screams expensive, from his thousand-dollar haircut, down to his custom-made designer shoes.
“Well, you're welcome to drive my Mercedes anywhere,” I say.
“And since you’ve decided to take over as my manager, the offer to buy you a car still stands.”
“Can you drive a stick, Bridgett?” Alec asks her.
“Definitely not,” she answers.
“I'll teach you
,” Alec offers. He's using his flirty voice with he
r…
I've heard him use it way too many times with girls. It's hard for anybody to turn him down. He has a way with girls. “It's so easy.”
I glare at him. “Driving the car better be the only thing you teach her.”
“I won't teach her anything she doesn't ask for,” he promises. “But I won't refuse my services if asked for.”
Bridgett chokes on her coffee. “Can you two stop talking about me like I'm not here?”
Stephan laughs. “Hey, this is entertaining.”
It is in that second, I know that the next few months are going to be the longest
, yet most interesting, months of my life.
I also realize that I am going to have to watch Alec like a hawk.
I just don’t trust him with my sister.
Stephan and
I leave for school not too long after that. We drive my '69 Mustang Boss 429 that I bought from Alec. I drive it to school, but promise Stephan he can drive it home.
“Alec has been living with me less than 24 hours, and he is
already
driving me crazy,” I complain.
Stephan laughs. “Just wait until you hear what all he has planned. You are going to
hate
him before he leaves.”
I groan. “Ugh...”
“Things are about to get
really
interesting around here.”
12:01 PM
I don't need you anymore.
At lunch, Mona gives Stephan and me the evil eye. I seriously hate her. I wonder how I ever thought that Mona could be Stephan's half
sister — they're definitely not related.
I spot Ethan, and he half waves at me, then
shrugs. He’s sitting at the “
popular
” table now, thanks to me. I am no longer welcome there, but he now has a permanent seat. I’m not sure why he wants to continue sitting there, especially considering the way they treated him for the past two years.
“What the hell does he see in her?” Stephan asks me.
“I have no clue.” I look at Mona again, trying to figure it out. If I look past the bitchy attitude, I have to admit that she is kind of hot. She has long brown hair, and gorgeous green eyes. She has this natural tan that even I am envious of (I hate getting spray tans! But I do it because I'm super white). But of course, guys are too busy looking at her body to notice anything else. She has big boobs, a tiny waist, and a large ass. She's a cheerleader, and you can tell she works out by looking at her. She has toned arms and great legs. “Actually, yeah, she's kind of hot. I can see why Ethan likes her.”
Stephan makes a gagging noise. “Not my type.”
“What is your type?” I question.
“Definitely blondes,” he answers easily.
“What else?”
“I definitely have a thing for musician
s…
Nothing is hotter than a girl who can play guitar, seriously,” he continues. “I love that you're so tiny. You fit perfectly in my arms. And you're so damn stubborn. I like that. And I could stare at your eyes all day. Not to mention your smile, and your laug
h…
Your boobs are the perfect size, and I can’t wait to see more of them. I seriously don't think there is one thing I don't like about you.”
I bite my lip to keep from grinning.
“I didn’t ask you what you liked about me, but I’m glad you feel that way.”
“And the crazy part is, by some miracle,
you like me back
.”
Once again, Stephan Montgomery has rendered me speechless.
But the moment is soon disrupted when I feel my phone start vibrating in my pocket. I think about ignoring it, but it could be Bridgett. I pull it out to see my dad is calling.
“What's wrong?” Stephan asks.
I stare at my phone, unable to answer. “My dad is calling me.”
“Answer it,” he urges me.
I take a deep breath and swipe my finger across the screen. “Hello,” I say, as I start walking out of the noisy cafeteria.
“I just heard the wonderful news!
Why didn't you tell me MTV was doing a thirteen episode documentary of your life?”
“Documentary?” I ask, then I realize.
Fucking Alec.
I'm going to kill him!
“Oh, i
t…
just happened. I’m still trying to process the whole thing. Nothing is certain yet.” I pretend like I know what I'm talking about.
“I'm so proud of you,” he compliments me. “I can't believe they're going to document the recording of your new CD. How did you convince Alec Torch to produce it?
You know what? I probably don't want to know. That boy always had a crush on you.”
I feel an arm go around me, and look up to see Stephan. I'm glad he's here.
My dad has been on the phone less than a minute, and I already feel like crying.
“
You think I would use my best friend like that? Alec offered to produce my album all on his own. I’m not some cheap whore who sleeps with people to get what I want… And I can’t believe you! You just called because of the documentary and album. You didn’t even ask how I was doing. We haven’t talked in over a month, Dad,” I remind him.
“It's a huge deal! I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner,” he complains.
“And if you needed me, you would have called me. I do have a life outside of you.”
I shake my head. “So you haven't missed me?”
I hear him laugh from the other end of the phone. “Scarlett, you're a grown woman, not a child. You don't need your mommy and daddy anymore.”
The harshness
I hear in his voice stings. “You know what? You're right. I don't need you anymore. You're fired. Now pack your shit and get the hell out of my house.” I end the call and throw my phone across the hallway. I hear it shatter against the concrete wall. By some miracle, it's still working. I hear it start vibrating against the tile floor, and I know it's him calling back. I just leave it and walk out of the school.
As soon as I get home,
I'm going to book the first flight I can to Europe so I can confront my mother. It’s as if the conversation with my dad has woken me up. I’m not going to put up with their shit anymore.
As I start my car, Stephan gets in the passenger seat. He's holding my shattered iPhone tha
t is still vibrating in his hand.
“Put on your seat belt,” I say and take off. I leave black marks as I'm leaving the school. Driving fast is definitely a great stress reliever.
12:31
PM
I got this.
“
ALEC
!” I yell the second I step inside my house. I know he's here, because his car is sitting in my driveway. I'm so furious that I'm literally shaking. I'm mad about the documentary, but not half as mad as I am about the conversation I just had with my father. How can he be such an arrogant asshole?
Alec and Bridgett both run to where Stephan and I are standing.
“What the hell? A documentary?” I yell before either of them can even say anything.
Alec glares a
t Stephan.
“Bro, I didn't say a word,”
Stephan says with his hands up.
“My dad called me
to congratulate me. He thinks I slept with you to get you to produce my album. I fired him and kicked him out of my house,” I tell them. “Now I am going to Europe to kick my mom out.”
“Your dad is a moron,” Alec says. “It’s about time you stand up for yourself. I’ve been waiting four years for you to. And we are coming with you to Europe. This shouldn’t be something you do alone.”