Fading (60 page)
Looking back over my shoulder at him, his eyes still closed as he sleeps, I know I will never love as powerfully as I do with him. I reach down, grab his discarded t-shirt, and shrug it on as I make my way to the bathroom. I flick on the light and before I can close the door, I see my necklace lying next to his sink. Walking over and looking down at it, I see that he got the chain fixed from when I ripped it off my neck. I run my finger along the etched letters:
And though she be but little, she is fierce.
Looking up, I see that my toothbrush is still next to the other sink along with a bottle of my perfume. Warm arms slowly snake around my waist as his lips press into my neck. Our eyes meet in the reflection of the mirror. "I could never let you go."
He picks up the necklace and clasps it back around my neck where it belongs. I will never be close enough to him to satisfy me. Maybe it was supposed to be like this all along; maybe I needed the pain of losing Ryan to make me finally pull myself out of the madness. Maybe I just had to lose him for a moment to keep myself from fading.
Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. Approximately 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. And only 46% of assaults are reported to the police.
You just read about Candace who suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Flashbacks,
Sleep Terror Disorder, and Nightmares.
These are only a few of the effects one can experience after being sexually assaulted.
There is help.
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1.800.656.HOPE
National Sexual Assault Online Hotline
Visit
http://www.rainn.org
to find more information and resources.
Sometimes it takes someone else to show us what we are truly capable of becoming.
Suffering from years of violent abuse, Ryan Campbell has learned how to keep people from getting too close. But when you shut yourself off, people get hurt along the way. Never caring much about others, Ryan creates a world in which he doesn't have to feel.
When Ryan meets Candace Parker, all of his walls slowly begin to crumble. Not sure of the truth of who she is, he feels his mind is playing tricks on him. Unable to force out the thoughts that consume him, Ryan is haunted by visions that torment him every time he looks at her. He finds himself swallowed by guilt and blame, but he's unwilling to turn his back on the one person that could possibly save him.
You've heard Candace's story in 'Fading,' now hear Ryan's.
Deciding to write a novel did not come easy. There was a lot of self-doubt before I actually typed my first word. I never could have anticipated the power of this journey. It took the support and encouragement of many people to make this book a possibility.
It was my husband who first told me that I should write a book. I honestly thought he had lost his mind. But he saw something in me that I never knew was even there. He believed in me when I first started stumbling through the prologue. It was his encouragement that kept me going, and before long, I became unstoppable. I am so lucky to have such an amazing man in my life that provided me the freedom I needed to immerse myself in this book. He took on all mommy and daddy duties, along with all the cooking and cleaning while I typed my heart out.
I would thank you from the bottom of my heart, but for you
,
there is no bottom.
This story would not be as beautiful as it is without Gina Smith. She has been with me from the first days of creating the plot for a book I didn't know the story to. I quickly deemed her my 'Creative Assistant.' She sparked the ideas for many of the scenes and helped me create the hauntingly romantic love story between Candace and Ryan. I could not have written this book without her guidance. We have clocked many hours on the phone and on the computer doing massive research to ensure that I was accurate in what I was writing, even down to map-questing drives to calculate timing. I will forever be indebted to her. Being able to share the love for my story and the love for my characters with her was such an amazing experience. I couldn't imagine ever writing a book without her by my side.
My editor had her work cutout for her. Lisa Christman, from Adept Edit's, is such an amazing person. An honest friend is hard to come by, but I found one in her. Brilliant and amazing. She not only encouraged me through this whole process, but she guided me in the right direction with my characters. Candace was not an easy person to write, but Lisa made it a possibility. I will never forget all your pep talks and comforting words when stress was getting the best of me. Thank you for taking this book so seriously, but also knowing when to use your humor to get me through all the editing. You will never know how hard some of your editing comments made me laugh and what that did for my stress. You really stepped up to the plate and delivered. You are such a dear friend, and I love you!
Thank you to the Haborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington for guiding me and educating me. Making sure I told a true story was so important to me, and you made that a reality for me. Thank you Rene Langston for sharing your knowledge and assisting me with the hospital scenes. You kept me on track and made sure every detail was addressed down to the HIPPA laws. You also motivated me in so many ways to follow this dream and make it a reality. Your enthusiasm kept a smile on my face.
To include remarks about everyone who contributed to this book would be entirely too long, so here are the Cliffs Notes: My mother for enrolling me in my first dance class and giving me the freedom to grow in my love for the art. My father and step-mother for the constant support and excitement during this journey. All my beta-readers for opening your hearts to this story and helping me polish the book. Your hard work did not go unnoticed. You all were the cheerleaders I needed to get to the finish line. Maxim Malevich who shot the amazing cover. No other photo could ever measure up. You are absolutely brilliant. Sarah Hansen for hunting down Maxim when all I had was a photo and a dream to have it grace my cover. You made it happen, and I can't thank you enough for turning the photo into an amazing cover. To my Indie Chixx writing group for helping me learn the ropes in this crazy world of self-publishing. The support you girls give is amazing. And to all of my friends and family who gave me the motivation I needed during the madness of writing this novel. This story was a hard one to write and countless tears were shed. I could not have done it with you all!
Thank You!
e. k. blair
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