Authors: Beck Nicholas
The crooked smile becomes shy and his long eyelashes shield his eyes. âIt's new stock from the stationery section at work. It has all your favourite colours.' He moves close and takes it from my hands. As he flips through it he recites, âGreen, blue, red and yellow. And of course there are some Post-it Notes in the back pocket. You could use it for the movies you're going to write â with that book you were reading.'
I remember answering his question about my favourite colour with my usual indecisive approach. But I'm amazed he took so much notice.
âMaybe I will.' With this notebook in my hand I feel like I could do anything.
He grins. âIf writing movies is something you want to do you should. I think you'd create something amazing.'
I touch his hand and grip his fingers to keep from floating away. âThank you.'
He ducks his head and his hair falls forward to shield his beautiful eyes. âI thought I should buy something after you got Dave's hopes up for a sale the other night.'
I hug the notebook close. Maybe I will start writing something. âIt's perfect. Anything to cheer up Dave.'
We walk in together.
The social committee has done a brilliant job with the gym. Black material drapes every surface and they've gone with zombies and vampires for the theme. It's straight out of a movie stereotype but with Sebastian's hand in mine it becomes fantastical.
The silver foil stars hanging above our heads could be romantic if I squint. Or maybe it's because I'm so focused on the boy at my side that everything else becomes a blur.
Some crappy band is thrashing about on the stage and I swear as we walk through the crowd I hear someone say that the organisers should have got Aaron's band to play.
I must be imagining things. Forget imaginary Aaron. Tonight is about me and Sebastian.
He offers to get me a drink and doesn't seem annoyed when I can't choose.
âSurprise me.'
He returns with cola for him and lemon for me. Because it's from him, it tastes delicious â all sweet and sour on my tongue. We lean against the wall, sipping. He's holding my hand and the gentle rub of his thumb against the inside of my wrist is worth the balancing act I'm doing to hold my bag and the drink.
âTerrible band.' Instead of yelling over the noise, he's leaning close and speaking right into my ear. His breath tickles my neck. A delicious shiver spreads through my nerve endings and the hairs on my arms stand on end.
âTerrible,' I agree.
He mimes that he doesn't hear me so I copy his movement, leaning really close. His arm comes around my waist and squeezes me against his body. âI knew what you said but I wanted to hold you close,' he whispers.
This time his lips actually brush my earlobe.
I'm glad he's holding me because otherwise I'm sure I'd be sliding into a big puddle on the floor at his feet. My whole body is tingling. My super-sensitive skin aches for his touch but I fear if he does make contact I'll explode in a sweet agony.
He glances toward the dance floor where our classmates are thrashing to the beat in a sweaty throng of bodies. âYou wanna dance?'
Again he speaks right into my ear. Right into my soul.
I have long since lost track of Chay in the crowd. For a heartbeat I feel bad, but then Sebastian's fingers twist in the long black strands of my wig. It's not even my hair but it's so hot and I can't think of anything but this boy.
The shake of my head brings his lips close to mine and I swear his eyes darken but since the only light in here comes from the flashing lasers near the stage I can't be sure.
We sip our drinks for a few awkward minutes. All around us, couples are using the shelter of the walls and the folds of material to make out. No one tries to stop them. The teacher circuits are frequent but predictable.
Across the room Bobby Moss dances with awkward enthusiasm to the amusement of a group of kids from his year. He catches my eye and waves mid-gyration.
I wave back.
He glances to my side and his smile widens. It's another addition to my instinct that Sebastian is a good guy despite his secrets.
âShould I be worried?' Sebastian murmurs, his lips on my skin, following the direction of my wave.
âNo.' I turn to face him and I don't try to hide how happy I am to be here with him as my date. âYou're the only one I want to be with.'
Despite the shadows I can see the smile stretch his lips. âGood.' He leans against the wall at my side. His attention swings between the band and me. Drinking me in with his eyes like a vampire sucking blood. The thought has me imagining his teeth on my neck and I sway toward him, aching for the graze of him against my skin.
Each time our eyes meet we both look away fast.
Is he going to kiss me at last? Here tonight? I edge away without meaning to and he looks down at me with a frown. How do I explain that our first kiss should be special?
âOutside?' I blurt.
His frown morphs into the 404 puzzled look that is becoming so familiar. I'm even stranger on the inside, I feel like saying. I tug his hand and he follows.
It's an icy night but we're not the only students seeking privacy outside. There is a year twelve group around a table in the centre of the space but most couples have drifted away to find their own private places.
A teacher comes outside right behind us. I try to appear innocent, and probably look like I'm planning a bank hold-up or something. She glares at pairs of students who duly leap apart to an acceptable distance but she soon shivers and heads back inside. The sigh of relief rises in unison and I notice the glint of a glass bottle being passed around the table.
A girl's hand â or more accurately a kitty's â lifts in the slightest of acknowledgements. Chay. I nod but try not to let Sebastian see I'm interested in anyone but him and the way he's holding my hand.
His head jerks toward the table. âYou want to sit with them?'
Too late. âNo.'
His mouth curves in something like a smile but with more intensity. More intent.
We wander toward the fence, skirting other couples, making for our own corner. Thanks to a thick wooden post holding up the shelter, we're hidden from the kids at the table and other than the distant throb of the music from inside we're almost alone.
His hand rests above my head so I'm encircled between his body and the post. My bag with the notebook drops to the ground at my feet.
âI've been thinking about kissing you,' he murmurs.
âMe too.' It comes out as a squeak. âI mean, I've been thinking about kissing you too.'
But he doesn't touch me. I've given him the green light. I pretty much begged him to kiss me, and he's standing there completely not making a move.
My shoulders droop and my smile quivers as the moments tick past. A peal of laughter rings across the courtyard from the table in the centre. Everyone else is having fun.
If he's waiting for me to kiss him it will be a long night. I want to. I do. But he's so cool and smart and mature that my nerves paralyse me.
Why won't you kiss me?
He's looking into my eyes but he's far away. âI'm not sure I should do this.'
It's like he heard my question. âWhy?'
âThere's so much you don't know.'
âWhat? You're actually an alien and tentacles are about to sprout from your brain? You're a vampire? It's okay. Go ahead, I don't mind.' I clear a spot on my neck to prove my point.
He laughs. Totally not the response I was looking for. âI do like you, Kathleen McKenny.'
I never knew my name could sound beautiful but Sebastian's lips have done just that. I swallow. âI like you too.'
This statement moves him to action at last. He presses closer and the length of his body eases mine back onto the post. Splinters poke into the space between my scalp and the wig but I don't care.
My heart thumps in time to the drum beat.
Sebastian is about to kiss me. His head lowers, blocking out the twinkling fairy lights strung up around the courtyard, strangely at odds with the gory theme inside. I breathe in his warm scent. Closer.
And suddenly a girl's shout breaks the relative silence.
âI'm leaving! I have better places to be.'
Sebastian's head jerks up.
I swear under my breath.
I know that high-pitched, superior voice. Lana ruin-my-life Elliot strikes again. Could this girl have any worse timing?
I'm left clutching at air as Sebastian moves toward the sound of her angry accusations and Joel's low-toned pleading for her to stay. I straighten my wig and follow.
The scene plays out in front of the table of onlookers. And of course Sebastian, her protective big brother.
Tonight Lana is dressed to seduce. The nurse's outfit barely covers her underwear and the zip up the middle is lowered to reveal her white lacy bra. No wonder Joel â dressed as the doctor counterpart â is staring at her with his tongue hanging out. So are half the boys at the table.
The argument was obviously mid-makeout because her bright red lipstick is smeared across her cheek and her hair is coming loose. On her it's sexy. Looking like that in high school should be illegal. It's impossible for any normal girl to compete.
And a glance around the table shows every female is thinking the same thing. Chay is positively green.
Joel is trying to lead Lana away but she's not budging. He holds her hand carefully, as if she might bite. And with good reason too, judging by the marks on his neck.
âI do love you, baby,' he says softly. âWe can go wherever you want.'
Apparently it's not enough. She pulls her hands free and plants them on her hips.
âI wish I'd never come to this stupid party. Honestly, you are so immature.' She looks him up and down. Her lips shine with vicious intent. âI can do so much better than you.'
She spins on impossibly high heels and is gone before anyone can take in what has happened.
Joel stares after her with wide eyes. His pain is so raw I have to look away. But when I turn back it's to meet Sebastian's gaze. He was watching me watch Joel and there's a shadow of doubt in his eyes.
I want to explain but I don't know how. Or exactly what it is I want to say.
He puts his hands in his pockets and the closeness we had a minute ago is gone. His shoulders hunch. âI have to go after my sister.'
I nod.
It's the wrong answer. Sebastian shakes his head and kicks at the ground before striding away.
Sebastian doesn't look back.
What was I supposed to say? Instinct has me scanning for Chay. She'll know what to do. But she's gone too. The only people left out in the courtyard are a couple of guys from the soccer team I don't know very well.
I head back inside. None of my friends are on the dance floor and the girls' bathroom is lacking anyone I might want to find. I keep replaying the last few moments with Sebastian.
Did he think I wanted to stay with Joel? How could he?
I don't hide behind posts and
almost
kiss boys I don't have serious like feelings for.
As my feet begin to ache my heart follows, but at the same time I'm pissed. He's the one who walked out on me.
To chase a sister perfectly capable of looking after herself.
I finally find Sebastian by the gym doors. His shirt is untucked and his hair is as messy as I've seen it. As I approach, he looks up and crosses to meet me. My annoyance drains away.
He stops an arm's reach away and he's stiff and awkward. âI thought you wanted to comfort your ex.'
I think about pointing out that Joel and I were never actually together. Or that what I thought I felt for Joel pales to nothing compared to the way I feel about Sebastian. But I keep it simple. âNo.'
He smiles like I've given him a present. âWant to help me find my stupid sister?'
Looking for Lana? Not high on my list of ways I want this night to end â but if it's with Sebastian â¦
âLet me call Chay. She was supposed to be my ride home.' It rings and rings but she doesn't answer. Sebastian is looking at the door.
âAre you sure she's definitely left the building?' I ask as I try Chay again.
He points to the young teacher on the door. It's Mr Jones from detention and he doesn't look well. Again. âJonesey reckons she stormed out a minute ago.'
Chay's still not answering. If she's on the dance floor she probably can't even hear her phone ringing.
Our town is pretty safe at night but Lana was angry. I can tell Sebastian's still worried by the way he keeps glancing outside and checking his phone, but I'm hesitant to leave the school without letting my friend know where I've gone. âYou go ahead.'
âOnce I go out, I can't come back in.'
He wants me to go with him.
I wobble on the brink of a decision. To stay or to go?
He holds out a hand.
âOkay.' I breathe agreement and take a step toward the door but a lifetime of doing the right thing stops me. I hold up my phone. âOne more try.'
At last Chay answers. She must be outside because I can't hear the band thrashing in the background. âWhat's up?' she asks. She sounds distracted.
I meet Sebastian's gaze. âI wanted to let you know. Um ⦠Sebastian is going to give me a ride home.'
He nods to confirm.
There's the sound of someone talking to her in the background but I can't make out the voice. âOkay. Bye,' she says and hangs up.
I blink. âI guess that's it. I'm coming with you.'
Sebastian's smile wipes away my friend's strange behaviour. I walk next to him out into the darkness. It's not as cold as earlier. Or maybe it's because I'm with Sebastian.
He looks down at me and slips an arm around my shoulders. âThis isn't the way I planned for tonight to go.'