Fall From Love (25 page)

Bringing up both of
my hands, I shove them into his hair and pull him down harder to me, pressing
my tongue even farther into his mouth. He pulls my bottom lip into his mouth,
biting it gently before running his tongue along the length of it and I can’t
help moaning again. Before I even understand what’s happening, he pulls away,
breathing heavy.

“That wasn’t in my
plans,” he says, resting his forehead on mine.

“Yeah.” I lick my
lips, trying to savor the taste of him. “That was all me. Sorry.”

Both hands come up
and cradle my face, holding it steady, forcing me to look at him. “Don’t be
sorry.”

He slowly removes
his hands from my face and takes a few steps back. Closing my eyes, I try to
pull myself together. My thoughts are going a mile a minute in about a million
different directions.

“Carter,” I whisper
as I open my eyes and stare at the back of him. He turns around slowly and it
hurts me to witness his face. He looks about as torn as I feel.

“Before you say
anything, I just want you to think about a few things, okay?” he says. “Think
about us. Think about our friendship and what it means to you because, for me,
that’s the only thing keeping me from kissing you again. Everything that is
messed up in my life, everything that doesn’t make sense, every pain, every
worry, it all disappears when you’re with me. Life’s good. It’s better and I
can’t,” he pauses, “I can’t lose that. I can’t lose you because most days,
you’re the only thing holding me together.”

I nod my head
because I know exactly how he feels. The last few months, since Carter has been
in my life, life has been better. He helps the dark days seem brighter and just
the thought of not having him in my life, scares me more than anything.

“Am I being a complete
idiot right now?” he asks, meeting my gaze.

I shake my head. In
all honesty, he may be the smartest one here.

Chapter Sixteen

The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be
happy—it's all that matters.

~ Audrey Hepburn

“So, how did things
go with Holly yesterday?” Kelly asks me, flipping over a pancake in the pan in
front of her. I shrug and chug my glass of orange juice.

“That bad, huh?”
She chuckles, putting the batter bowl in the sink and filling it with water.
“You didn’t tell her, did you?”

Now that she can’t
see me, I roll my eyes at her.

“Don’t roll your
eyes at your sister, it’s not becoming of a good looking, young man like
yourself,” my mom says as she walks into the kitchen, giving me away.

Kelly smirks and
turns to stick her tongue out at me and I stick mine back out at her.

“Or stick your
tongue out,” my mom says, glancing between the two of us. “I didn’t raise you
two to act like this, especially at your ages.”

Kelly grins again
and I shoot her a quick glare before going over and helping my mom to the
table.

“Mom, I was going
to bring you breakfast in bed,” I say, guiding her to her usual chair. Even
with no hair and hardly any color in her face, she’s still the most beautiful
woman I’ve ever seen.

Since as long as I
can remember, everyone in our family has had their own chair. Brandon and Dad’s
chairs now sit empty and, for the most part, it’s hard to even look at them. I
can’t understand why my mom wants to even sit at this table anymore anyway. A
few months ago I offered to take the table away and get a new one... a smaller
one. One with only three chairs, but she refused my idea.

“No, it’s our
table,” she had said. “It’s a table full of happy times; our memories as a
family. I want to be reminded of those memories every time I sit down to eat.”

I never could
understand why she wanted to be reminded of people who were no longer here. The
people who were stolen from us way too soon.

“I told you before,
I don’t want to eat in bed. I want to eat at the kitchen table with my
children. Is that too much to ask?”

“Of course it
isn’t,” Kelly says, stacking the pancakes on the plate, “but the doctor said
that you should stay in bed.”

My mom shakes her
head and waves off the doctor’s request. “Well, it’s my birthday and my birthday
wish is to have breakfast at the table and not in bed, so the doctor can just
kiss it.” She gives us both a pointed look and we know better than to argue
with her.

“So, when do we
head over to the Abbott’s for Thanksgiving?” Mom asks, changing the subject.

“I think the plan
is to eat around noon,” I answer, recalling Josh’s text from this morning.

“Good. It will be
nice to spend some time with them. I haven’t see Josh since this summer. What
should we bring?” she asks, looking between the two of us.

Kelly shrugs. “I
asked Mrs. Abbott what we should cook, but she insists we only bring
ourselves.”

“She always did
make a big spread. Well, we can’t show up there empty handed. We can at least
bring some wine, or maybe some flowers,” Mom suggests.

“I’ll pick up some
wine tomorrow,” I offer.

My family and the
Abbott’s have been friends for as long as I can remember. It isn’t unusual for
us to spend the holidays with them. Now that our family has shrunk to just
three, it makes even more sense.

“Good. Now that’s settled,
let’s enjoy our time together and start eating these delicious looking
pancakes.”

❧

After breakfast, I
help my mom back to her bed and, even though I should be used to seeing her so
weak and tired, it still kills me.

“So what’s this I
hear about a girl? Holly, is it?” Mom asks as I prop up a pillow behind her
head. Her weak voice matches her tired eyes.

Damn my sister
and her big mouth,
I think to myself.
“Yeah, there is a girl and her name is Holly.”

“Tell me about
her,” she says, leaning back and closing her eyes. “I want to hear about the
girl that has my son’s heart.”

“It’s not really
like that, Mom. We’re just friends,” I lie. I’m not sure how to explain the
situation to my mom and make her understand.

She sighs. “That’s
how all the great relationships start. You know, your dad and I were friends at
first. It took him months to convince me to go out on a date with him.” She
sighs again. “I think that friendship is the foundation of every healthy
relationship, but you just can’t be too scared to take the next step if you
want something more.”

What the hell has
my sister been telling her? “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

She opens her eyes
and grabs my hand. “Son, love is complicated, life is complicated. We’ve just
got to be strong enough to get through it.” She closes her eyes again. “Don’t
forget it.”

When I get back
into the kitchen, Kelly smiles and throws a dish towel in my face. “I wash, you
dry.”

“I should make you
wash and dry all by yourself. You and your big mouth.” I shake my head at her. “I’m
never telling you anything ever again.” I should’ve known better than to tell
Kelly anything anyways, she’s always had a big mouth, but she’s also the only
sister I’ve got and is the person I go to for advice with girls.

“Hey, she’s your
mom and she was curious to know what her baby boy has been up to. What was I
supposed to do, lie?”

She hands me a
frying pan that’s dripping wet. I roll my eyes and take the pan out of her
hands.

“So, you didn’t
tell Holly the truth, did you?” She wastes no time in picking up where she left
off before breakfast.

I rub the towel
over the frying pan a few more times than is needed. “No.”

“And why not?
Wasn’t that the plan? You said that before the two of you went any further, you
were going to tell her the truth.”

I swallow hard,
remembering the kiss; the freaking amazing kiss we shared just last night. “Who
said we went any further? We’re still just friends.”

She turns to look
at me with a raised eyebrow. “You’re either a liar or a complete idiot. Which
one is it?”

“I only get two
choices?” I smile.

She shakes her head
and rolls her eyes. “She clearly has feelings for you. The way she looked at me
the other morning, when she thought I was your girlfriend, it looked like
someone had stabbed her right in the chest.”

She holds out
another pan and I take it. “It’s just... she…” my voice fades and I rub the
towel over the pan and set it on the counter.

“She, what?” Kelly
presses.

“She asked me to
kiss her, alright?”

“And...”

“And that’s none of
your business.”

She laughs. “Well,
at least I now know you’re not a complete idiot. So what happened after the
kiss?” she asks, never skipping a beat.

I think back to
what happened, shaking my head. “I told her to think about what she wants, what
she really wants and make sure she wants me before we go any further. I told
her that we’d talk when the break was over.”

“And what happens
when she tells you she wants to be with you? ‘Cause you know that’s what she’ll
say.”

I shake my head.
“I’m not so sure. I told her to think about the risk we’d be taking. You know,
if we tried this relationship thing and it didn’t work out, then we may not be
able to go back to being friends.”

She stops scrubbing
the dish in her hands and looks over at me. “Carter, you’re such a guy. Over
the years and after
all
the sisterly advice I’ve given you, have you not
listened to anything that I’ve told you? You’ve probably just shattered the
poor girl’s heart. She put herself out there and you shot her down.”

“What are you
talking about? I kissed her.”

“Yeah, and then you
took it back. I was wrong in what I said before, you are an idiot.”

She shakes her head
and starts scrubbing again. “Love’s a risk. Period. No matter if it’s with
Holly or not. I know you care about her and I know you’re scared to tell her
the truth about what happened that night, but she’ll understand, Carter.
Everyone understands what happened that night… everyone expect for you.”

❧

It’s Thanksgiving
and my family and I are over at the Abbott’s. I’m half sitting, half lying on
the couch, hoping my stomach will digest soon. I’m so stuffed that I feel like
if I have another bite of anything, or even look at another piece of food, I’ll
explode.

The last few days
have gone by miserably slow. Over the past couple months I’ve gotten used to talking
to Holly pretty much every night, even if it is just to say goodnight to each
other. Now, it’s been four days since I’ve heard her voice. Four days since
I’ve heard her laugh. I’ve picked up the phone probably a hundred times, only
to put it back down. I’m hoping to give her some space to think and let her
figure out what she really wants.

“Ugh,” I moan,
grabbing my stomach where Josh just punched me. He’s standing in front of me
with a football in his hands, laughing. “Asshole,” I mutter under my breath so
my mom doesn’t hear.

“C’mon, let’s go
play ball. I’m in desperate need for a little air. If my mom tries to get me to
eat another bite, I may start looking as miserable as you do right now.”

“Nah, man. I’m so
full; give me some time to digest first.”

“Get your ass off
the couch or I’m gonna punch you again and this time it’ll hurt.”

I glower over at
him. If I wasn’t so full and miserable, I’d kick his ass. The only reason he’s
talking to me like this is because he knows that I can barely move.

“C’mon, it will
make you feel better,” he says, throwing the football up in the air.

“Fine,” I moan,
sitting up straight and following him outside.

“So, have you
talked to Holly today?” he asks, catching the ball and throwing it back to me.

Now it becomes clear,
his ulterior motive for bringing me out here. I shake my head. “No. I haven’t
talked to her since the night before we left.”

He nods once.
“Jenna says she’s been in a weird mood all week, even today. Is she not a big
fan of birthdays or something?”

“What?” I catch the
football and grip it tight. “What did you just say about birthdays?”

“It’s her birthday
today,” he says, acting as if it were public knowledge.

I didn’t know it
was her birthday.

“And you didn’t
tell me?” I ask him.

“Dude, she’s your
girlfriend, not mine.”

“She’s not—we’re
not like that.” I grit through my teeth and chuck the football at him, harder
than before.

He groans when he
catches it. “Damn, dude, go easy.”

I storm off and
head back to the house without looking back or answering Josh when he calls out
for me.