Helping me down from the bench, Derek opened
the clasp and I held my hair up for him. The tremendous weight I
felt when he tied the clasp and stepped back wasn't from the weight
of the gold around my neck, it was from the incalculable amount of
heartbreak it carried.
If it was possible for a human heart to float
into another body it would be at this moment. I felt like I was
bleeding for him. I'd never wanted to take another person's pain
away like I wanted to take Derek's. It was physically painful to be
so utterly useless. His problems put mine into perspective…
"Hey," he said softly as he grabbed my arm.
"You okay?" His eyes were full of concern that I wanted to cry.
"Lee, you're wobbling a little, sweetheart."
"I'll be fine," I whispered and I hoped I was
telling the truth, but the pain in my back was calling me a liar.
"I need to…go," I muttered as I stepped away from Derek. "Will you
tell Kyle I'm going to bed?"
"You are going to bed. Right?" Derek asked in
a sharp tone.
"Yes, Derek," I managed to squeeze out. I bit
down on the inside of my cheek and waved limply before hobbling off
in the direction of the elevators. I managed to make it into the
shower in our suite before crumpling to the floor.
God, I hated bathrooms.
****
Derek
"She's gone upstairs," I growled as I
staggered over to the table and sank into my seat. I glared at the
two idiots sitting at the table. I actually felt sick to my stomach
looking at either of them…well, maybe the alcohol was causing the
pain in my stomach. I'd made a small pit-stop at the bar before
coming back to the table. I needed all eight shots. This was the
cruelest thing I'd witnessed Kyle do in a long time. I'd warned
him. He needed to start listening. That girl was heartbroken and he
didn't fucking get it. He had the woman he loved. Why the fuck was
he messing it up? "She's not coming back. I hope the two of you are
happy with yourselves."
Kyle glared at me in warning before turning
to Tracy. "I'm sorry about this," he muttered.
"Don't be." Tracy smiled and I nearly hurled
when I saw the crocodile tears in her eyes. This shit was a joke.
No, I decided it wasn't the whiskey. That woman's face was making
my stomach turn. "I'm not expecting miracles," she said. "Lia has
every right to feel the way she does."
"Damn straight," I sneered. "An organ won't
erase eighteen years of having the shit kicked out of her or
starving on the side of the road, while sleeping in a house that's
not fit for a dog to piss in." She blanched at my words. Well,
good. About time someone gave her some home truths. I didn't have
an ounce of sympathy for her. My sympathy well was bone dry.
"Derek," Kyle hissed. "Jesus Christ." He
looked mortified and I debated keeping my mouth shut. Kyle was my
best friend and anything I had to say was going to fuck things up
between us, but then I thought of Lee…Cam wasn't here to knock some
sense into the dumbass. She was completely defenseless…
"Fuck it," I snapped unable to sit back and
stay silent. Drunk or not, they were going to hear my opinion on
the matter. "I'm sorry, but you both need to hear this." I leaned
forward and grabbed a glass of whiskey, tipped it back my throat
before slamming the glass on the table and continuing. "I've known
Lee just as long as you have, Kyle," I told him. "She's like a
sister to me. I lived with her for a year and I'm not fucking
blind." I turned to glare at Tracy. "Have you seen your daughter's
body?" I asked, my voice full of sarcasm. "Well, if you ever do,
you'll see that she wasn't just beaten. She was fucking tortured."
My voice was laced with disgust because I was disgusted. I was
repulsed. I'd seen the scars on Lee. She had more burns, stitch
scars and dents on her body than I'd ever seen on a human body.
Kyle seemed to forget that I was the one who
held that girl in my arms as her life, and the life of their baby,
bled out of her last Christmas. I was the one with her in the
ambulance after she was shot. I was the one who watched the
paramedics work franticly to bring her back to life when her heart
stopped beating–three fucking times–on the ride to the hospital. I
had lost the love of my life and Kyle was pushing his away…
"
Tortured,"
I hissed. "Because some
spineless woman decided to give birth to a baby and play house with
an alcoholic bully." I laughed dryly before pointing a finger at
her in a seemingly causal gesture. "And THEN, to add insult to
injury, one day that woman decides she doesn't want to be a
punching bag and says to herself 'hmm, better leave the baby with
him, maybe he won't look for me if he can knock her around
instead.'"
"That's enough, douchebag," Kyle snarled when
Tracy burst into tears. "No one is saying what Tracy did was right,
but have a heart, Derek. Some fucking compassion. She saved Lee's
life."
"CAM saved Lee's life," I roared as I shoved
my chair back and stood up. "I happen to have compassion, Kyle. And
it's not for
her
." I leaned his fists on the table and
glowered at him. "You," I spat. "Need to pick a fucking team. And
you." I pointed at Tracy, who was out of her chair and backing away
from the table. "Need to crawl back under the rock you came
from."
Kyle waited until Tracy had bolted from the
restaurant before speaking to me. "You," he said calmly as he
lifted his, now wide awake and terrified, baby from her seat and
cuddled her to his chest. "Are lucky my daughter is here." I felt
like a piece of shit as I watched Kyle trying to calm Hope down.
I'd scared her…He stroked Hope's face and tried to soothe her.
"Shh, baby," he murmured. "Daddy's here. It's alright. I'm here,
baby girl."
My shoulders sagged as I sighed heavily. "I'm
sorry for raising my voice, but I'm not sorry for what I said. She
needed to hear that."
"Go home and sober up, Derek," Kyle said
wearily as he pushed back his chair and stood. "Before I say
something
you
need to hear."
"I don't understand you, Kyle," I said sadly.
"Look at that baby." I pointed at Hope and shuddered. "Lee was like
that once and instead of having a father like you, she had him."
Grabbing the bottle of wine that was on the table, I turned around
and walked away from the table. "Think about that, dude."
****
Kyle
Jesus, my intervention went down about as
smoothly as a ton of bricks.
I was setting a record for the number of
times I could screw up in a week. Last week, Lee ran away to the
cemetery to avoid me. This week I'd pissed her off so much she
locked herself away in the bathroom. At least I was consistent in
my assholeness.
"Lee," I said for the hundredth fucking time.
"Open up, baby."
I listened and waited. Nothing.
"Lee, open the door. You don't have to talk
to me. I know I fucked up. You don’t even have to look at me…just
let me see you're okay." I wasn't sure how long she'd been in
there. I'd waited for over an hour in the restaurant with Hope and
Tracy before Derek came back. Yeah, my mind was still reeling over
what he'd said. Jesus, his words had hit me hard.
He had a point, but so had I…
I'd put Hope to bed an hour ago and had been
sitting on this fucking bed, staring at the bathroom door since. I
wasn't in the mood to be attacked with flying objects, but I was
worried sick. I needed to fix this. "Open the goddamn door, Lee," I
growled, anxiety tearing at my gut. "You have two fucking seconds
to open this door or I'm kicking it in."
Losing my patience, I got up and stormed over
to the door. Slamming my hand down on the handle, I felt like the
world's biggest tool when it opened inwards.
I was sure I felt my heart crack when I saw
her curled up in a ball on the floor of the shower. Rushing over I
swung the shower door open. Steam hit me square in the face. Jesus,
she was going to burn her skin off. I moved to turn off the shower.
"Don't," she cried.
"What are you doing?" I whispered as I
crouched down in front of her. Her skin was flushed. Her face was
scrunched up.
"I'm in pain," she whispered as she clutched
herself.
"Down there?" I asked as I knelt in front of
her and brushed her hair out of her eyes. She nodded as she bit her
lip and winced.
I knew it. I fucking knew she wasn't ready
to have sex. Jesus Christ, I needed to start listening to the head
on my shoulders and stop listening to the head on my shaft. "Come
here, baby," I whispered as I leaned into the shower to pick her
up.
"No, no," she cried, pushing my hands away.
"The heat helps. Please let me be. It stops the burning."
"Lee, I think you have a kidney infection," I
told her, remembering the list of signs the doctor had told us to
look out for. "I'm gonna call the doctor, okay?"
"There's no point," she mumbled. "It's
normal."
"What?" I shook my head and stood before
pulling my phone out of my pocket. "Don't be stupid, of course
there's a point. There's a very big point, baby. You've had a
kidney transplant. You have pain and you need to get it checked
out. This is not normal."
I must have said the wrong thing because her
whole face caved and she burst into tears. "Yeah," she squeezed out
before clenching her eyes shut. "Okay, thanks."
*****
I was right. Lee had a nasty urinary tract
infection and the muscles in her back were in spasm. Dr. Bromwick
gave her a shot for the back pain, prescribed some antibiotics for
the infection and a prophylaxis to prevent any future
reoccurrences.
He'd been more than helpful, coming straight
to the hotel when I called. I was grateful as hell because I hadn't
been sure how I was going to get her out of the room and into the
car if I had to take her to the hospital. I had to coax her out of
the shower with a heating pad just so I could get her dressed
before he came. "Thanks for coming so quickly, doc," I said as I
opened the door for him.
"No problem," he mumbled with red cheeks.
"Glad to help. Call anytime, Mr. Carter."
Locking the door of our suite, I checked on
Hope before going to our room. "Why didn't you tell me you were
sick?" I said in a weary tone. I was fucking weary. I was sick to
death of not being told shit. The argument I was sure we would have
about her mom had been put on the back burner. She hadn't brought
it up yet. I guessed she realized how fucking serious this was.
"Lee, I need to know these things. How long has this been going
on?"
"A few days," she muttered as she climbed
into bed achingly slowly. I shrugged off my clothes and slid in
next to her. She curled into a ball on her side and I slid in
behind her. "I didn't want to worry you," she whispered. "You have
enough problems…"
"Princess," I groaned as I rubbed her back in
slow steady circles. Her skin was damp and I wasn't sure if it was
from the shower or the pain. If I could take this pain from her I
would. It fucking killed me to watch her hurting. "You're not a
problem for me, goddammit. A problem for me is when you're sick and
don't tell me and we end up like tonight or worse…"
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she pressed
herself against my touch. I rubbed her a little harder and she
moaned in relief. At least I was doing something right. "He said it
was normal. I googled it…I'm sorry."
"You googled it?" I asked in disgust. I
brushed her long curls to one side and started rubbing her
shoulders. "You self-diagnosed yourself on google? What the hell.
You could have had a relapse, Lee. Or septicemia or any number of
things. Baby, you can't google your goddamn health…" My words
trailed off as her words registered in my head. I sat up and looked
down at her. "Hold up, who the fuck told you it was normal?"
She slowly rolled onto her back and looked up
at me with tear-filled eyes. "Him," she sobbed. Tears slid down her
cheeks, landing on the pillow under her head. "Dr. Bromwick. I
called him the other day to get an appointment. He said it was
menstrual cramps. That's why I freaked out on you when we
were…"
"What?" I shook my head as I tried to
contemplate what the fuck I was hearing. "What?"
"He was horrible," she whispered. Her lip
wobbled as she spoke. "I knew something was wrong, but he said…he
convinced me it was nothing. I felt so stupid for even calling. He
made me feel so stupid, Kyle. I
knew
it wasn't my
period…"
"You're not stupid," I snarled as I climbed
out of bed and grabbed my pants. "He's stupid. He's a dead man
walking."
"Kyle," Lee said in an anxious tone as she
struggled to sit up. "Where are you going?"
"To find him," I hissed as I slipped on my
shoes and grabbed my keys off the bedside table. "Let's see how he
likes it when he's pissing blood. I'm gonna give that piece of shit
a period of his own."
"Don't you dare," she warned as she scrambled
out of bed and hobbled over to me. I couldn't look at her face. I
wanted to break something. I
was
going to break something.
Him. "Do not make this worse. You can't just hit a doctor, Kyle,"
she begged as she wrapped her hands around my wrists. "There are
rules about that kind of thing."
"Where were the fucking rules when he refused
to see you?" I roared as I pulled my hands away from hers quickly.
Too quickly.
Shit.
She flinched and backed away from me. My
anger turned inwards. Guilt swamped me. "I'm sorry," I whispered as
I reached out slowly and stroked her arm, giving her a chance to
relax. "It's okay, baby."
Her nervous eyes studied me for a moment
before she stepped forward slowly. I wrapped her up in my arms
while I mentally kicked the shit out of myself for being so stupid.
I would
never
hurt her. Jesus, it cut me when she looked so
afraid of me. My anger evaporated as shame and fucking guilt took
its place. "Please calm down, Kyle," she whispered. "Breathe. Count
to ten."