Falling for Grace (Four Winds) (14 page)

"
Brad, you haven't been here.  This has been awful."  She twisted out of his arms.  "I'm not in a good place to be thinking about that, right now." 
And you're not Rafe
, she thought to herself.  Then guilt started eating at her.  She really wasn't totally being fair.

"I'm sorry, honey.  I am just so glad to see you
.  But I understand," he amended, quickly, pulling her back to him.  "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."  She returned the hug, glad to have the familiarity of his presence.

"What do you say, after we finish today, I take you back to your hotel, and you can get your things and come stay with me until you get a new place?  Let me try again?"

She went rigid.  "Um, you mean, move in with you?  I don't think so,
Brad."

"Just stay for a little while…
We don’t have to try again.  We can just be roomies."

Grace looked in his eyes
and saw nothing but compassion.  She hated this.  He was always trying to move too fast with her.  "The insurance company will pay for thirty days at a hotel, I'm going to use that.  I'm not going to move in with you."

He let go of her, sighing heavily.  “I know.  I just wanted another shot.  I’m really sorry, and the thought of you with him…”

She squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers.  "Well, then, just don’t think about it.  We’ve broken up, Brad.  I’m not going to move in with you to alleviate your jealousy."   

"I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to upset you.
"

She had thought that seeing Brad would be better than this.  She’d thought the normalcy of something familiar would make her feel right again. 
But the stress of the last few days had taken a toll.  Grace hadn't slept well the night before, with the nightmare and Rafe.  She hadn't been eating right, and had worked herself to bone-tired every night.  And now Brad, who was supposed to be the epitome of normalcy, was making her feel uncomfortable and cranky.

"Grace…" 
Brad's tone was conciliatory, and he took her in her arms again.  "I'm sorry.  I know you've had a rough couple of days.  I've got to go into headquarters, but I'll call you tonight.  Is that okay?"

She was still angry
; too angry to speak.  She knew that none of these feelings were Brad’s fault, aside from him pushing her again, into a relationship she didn’t want.

"I missed you so much, baby."  He kissed her mouth, a lingering kiss that made her think of Rafe, before turning to walk down the Sea Wall.  She had no idea what had just happened.  She'd broken up with him, right?

That afternoon, Grace was raking up debris into a pile, when the sound of a man crying made her look around.  Sitting on a bench behind her was Damien, the guy from the dance club.

“Hey, are you okay?”  She walked over to him and laid her hand on his shoulder.  When he looked up, she was taken aback by the familiar grief in his eyes.  She wondered what all he had lost.

He looked embarrassed and wiped his eyes.  “I’m sorry.  Just…seeing all the destruction around makes me sad…”

“I know.  Me too.”  She rubbed his shoulder, trying to ignore the thick muscles there.  “Do you want to talk about it?  Sometimes that helps.”

He shrugged.  “It just makes me realize what a hypocrite my Father is, and how he abandoned me.”  Damien looked at his feet.  “You don’t want to hear about it.  Never mind.”

“My dad abandoned me too.  When I was a baby.”  It was an all too familiar story, how men could leave behind a piece of themselves and never look back.

“At least you never knew yours.” Bitterness laced Damien’s words.  “Mine left me when I was grown, just said, “No more.  I’m done with you.”  You never knew your dad’s love.  I knew mine, and it was taken away.  That’s worse.”

“That’s awful,” Grace said, not sure what else to say.  It wasn’t clear how the hurricane reminded him of his father, but everybody dealt with grief in different ways. 

Seeing he was about to cry again, she pulled the man to her in a hug.  She’d been doling out hugs almost as much as water these last few days.  But none of the other hugs had the underlying flickers of desire that this one had.  She wrapped her arms around Damien’s waist, and his strong arms clutched her back in an embrace full of need, of want.  His torso expanded under her hands, as he inhaled a shuddering breath.  Even as his body trembled under her hands, Grace felt the inappropriateness of her feelings with Damien.  She was lusting after him, and he was so plainly grieving. But a part of him was lusting too.  She could feel it on her thigh.

He buried his face in her shoulder, and she could feel the wetness of his tears, surprisingly cool, as he continued to cry.  After a few minutes the sobs subsided, and he breathed deeply into the place where her shoulder joined her neck.  She suppressed a tremor, not wanting him to see how his touch was affecting her.  Then his tongue snaked out and licked her.

She pulled away, realizing that he was having the same thoughts she was.  “Damien, this isn’t a good idea.  I’m sorry.”  She looked around pointedly, as much to remind herself of where she was as anything else.  All around, volunteers were raking debris into manageable piles, setting up information tables to help the displaced, and handing out rubber gloves and water.  She had no business thinking about how hot Damien was amid so much misery.

He was watching her, tears gone, an intense look on his face.  “Do you have a place to stay?”

She nodded.  “Yeah, my insurance company is putting me up in a hotel for a month.”

“If you need to, you could come stay with me at my beach house.  It was unscathed.  It’s a miracle.”  He said the last word bitterly, and she realized he was still angry about something.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.”

“Thank you for talking to me today.  I feel much better.”  His hand clasped hers intimately, and his cool grip sent a tremor through her body.  There was something about him that she didn’t quite trust though, and she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was.  “Can I take you to dinner?”

It was tempting, but something still felt wrong, and she didn’t want to have a good time with this guy while so many people on the island were wondering if they were going to get to eat dinner or not.

She shook her head no, “Now isn’t a really good time.  Maybe we could swap numbers and get together another time?” 

He agreed eagerly and they traded phones to input each other’s numbers.  “Thanks again for listening.  You’re such a sweetheart.”  His fingers grazed her cheek softly before he turned to leave.

Grace watched him with mixed feelings as he wove his way around the garbage and people in the street, and disappeared from view.

He seemed nice enough, and with those dangerous good looks, he was sexy as hell.  But there was something about him that just seemed…dishonest somehow.  She wasn’t sure she trusted him.  She shrugged and turned back to work.

That evening, she let herself into her hotel room, looking forward to hearing Rafe's encouraging voice.  But instead, she found a note.

Dear Grace,

I'm sorry I'm not saying goodbye in person, but I've decided to go back to Houston and let my brother and his wife nurse me back to health.  You're busy with the clean-up on the island, and I feel like I'm distracting you.  I'll call in a couple of days to check in, but please don't worry about me anymore.  I'm fine.  I'll see you soon.

Love,

Rafe

Grace couldn't squelch the disappointment that rose in her gut at his absence.  She'd been counting on seeing him after a long day of even longer faces.  After the confrontation with Brad, and then talking to that guy Damien, Grace wanted to hug Rafe, to feel his arms around her again.

Thoughts of Brad frustrated her further.  She had broken up with him, and now he wanted her to move in with him?  She was not looking forward to him calling her later.  Grace heaved a violent sigh and threw herself on the empty bed.

Picking up her phone, she called Bree.

"Rafe's gone," she said when her friend answered.

"Where?"  Bree's tone was indignant, as if she couldn't believe Rafe would deign to leave Grace.

"Apparently, he has a brother in
Houston.  He went there to heal.  Or some shit."  Grace had told Bree and Nicole about the hurricane, the tornado, and their flight to shelter.  She hadn't told them about his "declaration" or the mind-blowing kiss they'd shared.

"When is he coming back?"

"I don't know.  He didn't say."

There was a brief silence, before Bree asked, "Did something happen?  Between you two?"

Grace wasn't ready to divulge that, yet.  If she told Bree they'd kissed, Bree would want to explore Grace's feelings for Rafe, and she was not about to go there.

"Nope.  Nothing happened."

"I don't believe that.  You have that hunky man in your house alone during a severe storm with no power, then you save each other's lives trekking through said storm to find shelter, and then sleep together multiple nights, and nothing's happened?"

"We did not sleep together.  There was a gymnasium full of people."

"You know what I mean.  There had to be some serious emotions flying between you two."

“I broke up with Brad right before the storm, Bree…”

“So?  It’s not like you were in love with him or anything.”

“No, but it’s too quick to be jumping into bed with someone else, don’t you think?”

“Honey, it’s Rafe!  I’m sure that guy’s got a string of women all over the island waiting to jump in the sack with him.  And it’s obvious he’s interested, Grace.”

“Well, apparently, I’m not finished with Brad, either.  He seems to have some strange views of “just friends.”  She told Bree what happened with Brad earlier that day, and Bree empathized, although she didn’t drop the Rafe idea.  She was sort of like a dog and a bone with things.

"So, you're free to go after Rafe, now.  Right?"

"I don't know that I want to go after Rafe."

"Ohmygod.  Why not?"

"Because, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to keep things casual."

"So something did happen during the storm," Bree mused.

"What makes you say that?"

"How would you know he wouldn't keep things casual unless you have already talked about it?"

"Just some things he said about intimacy and stuff.  General conversations, Bree.  Nothing specifically geared towards
us.  Besides, it looks like I'm going to have to break up with Brad all over again.  I'm not sure he heard me the first time."

A beep on her phone notified Grace of an incoming call, and she hurriedly looked to see if it was Rafe, chastising herself as she did.  It was
Brad.

"And it looks like I'll get my chance.  That's him on the other line."  Grace sighed as she said her goodbyes to Bree and clicked over to
Brad.

"Hey,
Brad."  She did not want to have this conversation right now.

"Hey there, babe."  Ugh.  She hated when he called her that, and it grated on her nerves now.

"We need to talk."

"I kno
w.  I heard what you said today. I was just hoping it was stress."  His voice sounded like a balloon was slowly leaking air.

"I don't think we're good for each other anymore."

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said, and I'm really sorry about the party last week."

"I just don't want to be somebody's possession, and that's how you've been treating me.  So I'm ending this,
Brad.  I'm sorry.  I wish we could still be friends, but apparently that’s not going to work either.  I need to cut all ties with you, so you don’t think you have any ownership with me.”

"Wow.  That's harsh."  She felt bad for the way she was coming across, but she had to tell him what she thought, or he'd think she was just being moody or something.

"I know, but my feelings are harsh sometimes.  I was up front when we started going out, that I didn't want anything serious.  And now you're getting too serious for me.  We just want different things from this.  I can't give you what you want."

"You don't want to give me what I want, Grace.  There's a difference."

"It means the same to me.  Goodbye."

Grace lay back on the bed, fingering the note Rafe had left.  He said he'd see her soon, and she wondered how soon.  Would he be gone a couple of days?  Weeks?  The uncertainty made her want to cry.  Then she got mad.  Why was she crying about a guy?  Especially one she didn't have any ties to?

Because she wished he'd stayed.