Falling for Grace (Four Winds) (23 page)

"I'm going to get ready for bed, so if you come up with anything else to say to me, I'll be out of the shower in a little bit, okay?"  His voice was roughened with desire, but he knew he needed to put some distance between them.

In the shower, he willed the streams of hot water to ease his tense muscles as he cleared his mind.  He had said it all, it was up to her, now.  Rafe couldn’t see what else he could do to convince her to take the leap of faith.

Rafe knew that Grace loved him, he could see it in her face when she looked at him.  But if she wouldn't let go enough to actually
love
him, then there wasn't much point, was there.  She couldn't stay behind those walls forever, or he would never be able to have her.

It was too late for him, he was human now.  Or almost, anyway, and he didn't think the process was going to reverse itself if she didn't love him back.  So, now that he was mortal, while she was deciding if she loved him or not, he could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and die without ever knowing what it was like to be in love.

Realizing the futility of using the shower to clear his mind, he twisted the knobs off furiously, stepping out with the towel wrapped around his waist and dressed in clean shorts before going back out into the room.

He stopped short when he saw Grace sitting in his chair, looking at him intently as he left the bathroom.

"Do you want my love or my trust?"  Her voice sounded unsure, as if she wondered why she was asking the question.

"I'd like your love, but your trust is a start.  I can work with that."  His heart leapt in his chest, as he watched her reaction.

She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, and Rafe resisted every urge he'd ever had concerning Grace.  He held his breath, and when he thought he could hold it no longer, she looked up at him, her crystalline blue eyes full of emotion.

"Okay, Rafe.  I'll trust you."  Seeming to gain courage with the declaration, she continued.  "You haven't given me any reason not to, yet.  But if you do anything hinky, we're through."

Rafe stalked over to her, trying not to get angry.  She was just so damn stubborn.  "It doesn't work that way, Grace.  You have to
know
that I would never do anything hinky.  That's trust.  What you're talking about his hope.  I don't want hope, I want love, but will settle for trust.  For now.  You have to understand the difference."

She took a deep breath, and expelled it slowly.  "Okay, Rafe.  I trust you.  You will not intentionally hurt me.  Promise."  The last word could have been a question, but was spoken like a statement.  Rafe trembled with anticipation.

"Promise."  A thought occurred to him, and a smug smile curved his lips.  "You're not just saying that to get me into bed."

She punched him in the gut, laughing, which sent Rafe soaring.  "No, but now that you've given me the idea, would it have worked that way?  Was that all I had to say to get that to happen?"

He scooped her up and threw her on the bed.  "You are in for it, now," he growled.

Crawling up the bed, where Grace lay sprawling and out of breath, Rafe enjoyed the sensation of rapture that filled him.  He'd never experienced happiness like he had when she said she trusted him.  He had her now.

She was his.

"I'm not going to make love to you tonight, Grace."  He whispered into her neck as he pressed soft kisses on her flushed skin.  He felt her tense under him.

"Why not?"

"Your trust isn't the same as your love."  He continued to kiss her neck, reveling in her response.  Her body shuddered underneath his, and he pressed his weight on top of her.

"Then what are you doing?"  Her voice was breathless, and it sent a tremor up his spine.

"I'm going to love you, Grace."  He stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes.  "Until you see that I'll never hurt you.  I'll never ask you to change.  Until you can see that I don't want your life, I want a life with you, you can't love me back.  But I can show you how things could be with me."

He covered her mouth with his in a kiss that reeled his senses.  She responded to him hungrily, and he was overcome with emotion.  He could tell she was there, she just had to admit it to herself.  Her hot little tongue met his, and they swirled together, touching and tasting, until he wanted so much more.  But he had to wait.  Tonight was to show her how much he would take care of her.  She responded to sex, and he would show her through sex, how much he loved her.  Would do anything for her.

Slowly, he undressed Grace, caressing and kissing her body where her clothes had been.  She lay there, writhing under his touch, moaning encouragement.  The soft little noises leaving her throat made Rafe harder than he had ever thought possible, but he was determined to do this right.

Her soft skin tasted wonderful, like sunshine.  As his mouth traveled down her stomach, he lowered himself, so his body was between her thighs.  He got comfortable with her navel, dipping his tongue in, sucking on the flesh around it.  Grace trembled under his touch and pressed her pelvis against him.

"You taste heavenly…"  He continued to make love to her navel with his mouth, licking it and nibbling, hearing her gasps.  Rafe continued down her body and settled a little lower, taking time with the insides of her creamy smooth thighs.  She opened for him, and he licked and suckled at her velvety skin.  He knew where she wanted him to touch her, but he didn't.  Rafe was saving those places for last.  He wanted her to shatter completely under his touch, and in order to do that, he had to prolong her pleasure.

He continued to work his way down her legs, until he got to her toes.  He kissed and rubbed her feet each individually, before making his way back up her body. 

"You are beautiful, Grace."  And she was.  Every part of her was beautiful to him.  Her creamy tanned skin, flushed with desire.  Her pert breasts, rising and falling with her gasping breaths.  Her long, toned legs, open and willing for him.  Her glistening hot sex, drawing his gaze.  Rafe dipped his head for a small taste of it, and it overwhelmed his senses.  Rafe knew he'd fallen for Grace, because as soon as his tongue touched her folds and he tasted her desire, he was lost.  Whether it was because all women tasted this way, he had no way of knowing, he'd never been able to taste another.  But as he slowly ran his tongue up her folds, she started writhing, and he held her hips down with his hand, needing to keep her still so he could savor this experience.  His tongue found her bud, swollen with need, and it encircled it, slowly.  As she gasped under him, he flicked the spot, suckling it gently as she breathed his name between ragged gulps of air.

Reluctantly, he worked his way back up to her breasts, promising himself to finish with that spot later and listened to her whimpers before he took a breast in his mouth.  Grace arched her back, rising off the bed, as he covered her flushed skin with kisses before taking an erect nipple into his mouth to suck.  His hand toyed with the other nipple, until Grace was once again moaning his name.  Her hips ground into his pelvis, and Rafe was powerless to control his own hips, thrusting against her thigh, reveling in the delightful friction on his own sex.

Rafe continued exploring her breasts, alternately licking, suckling, and nibbling, until Grace screamed his name in frustration.

"Rafe…Please…"

"Please what, Grace?"  He didn't recognize his own voice. 

"Make love to me."  She grasped his hair and pulled his face up to hers, opening her mouth for a kiss he was all too willing to bestow.  They kissed for an impossibly long time, tongues entwining, Grace groaning with frustration with her unfulfilled need.  Rafe was happy to comply, as he ended the kiss, and his mouth moved back down to the apex of her thighs.

"You know I won't do that, Grace.  Not yet."  He dropped open-mouth kisses down her belly, until he reached her sex, the pinnacle of desire, waiting for him.

He took her in his mouth and sucked, as her hips rose off the bed.  His hands held her still again as he continued his ministrations, licking and flicking with his tongue until he could feel her on the edge, then sucking her bud into his mouth and feeling her tremors as she fell back a little, before starting all over again.

Rafe grabbed Grace's legs and put his shoulders under them, wrapping his hands around the tops of her thighs.  He wanted to feel them squeezing against his ears, and from this position, he could use his hands to bring her pleasure.

One hand opened her folds while the other inserted a finger.  He could feel the vibrations of her body, as it hummed with pleasure.  His tongue continued flicking the tiny bud, while his finger slid in and out of her.  Rafe could feel her body tense, and he put a second finger inside her, slipping it in and out of the folds.  Her pearl was standing at attention, and Rafe used his tongue to flick and suck on it until he could feel Grace's climax shudder through her.  Her thighs squeezed his head, as her muscles contracted around his fingers, and he could hear her cry out to the heavens as he continued to lap up her climax, savoring the sweet tang of her passion on his tongue.

When the spasms had abated and her gasps had turned to soft moans of contentment, he disentangled himself from her legs.  Rafe crawled back up her limp body, to kiss her softly before pulling her into his arms and cradling her.

"I love you Grace.  I've fallen for you.  And I intend to show you how much I want to take care of you.  Forever."

They lay like that for a while, catching their breath.  Grace snuggled into Rafe's body, and he enjoyed the skin to skin contact.

Her hands idly played in his hair, sending a shock of tingly goosebumps down his back, as she murmured sounds of contentment.  Rafe kissed her neck, where his face was inhaling her scent.  She smelled like sunshine, sweat, and sex.

He loved this woman so much it hurt.

"So what happens now?"

He raised himself up on one elbow and looked down at her, fear gripping his belly.  She hadn't lied to him earlier, he would have known, but the uncertainty in her eyes scared him nonetheless.

"What do you mean?"

"With…us.  What happens with us?"

Grace, I want to spend a lifetime with you, making you scream with pleasure every night, making you laugh every day, making you feel contentment in immeasurable ways… 
"We go on with life, as a couple, until you realize that we're made for each other.  I won't push you for more." 

He knew she loved him, he could see it spilling out of her face, the contented smile, the sheen of her eyes, the flush in her cheeks.  He would wait until she realized it, though.  He meant what he said, he couldn't push her, or she would retreat back behind the walls she'd erected around herself.

Rafe felt a lump of emotion form in his throat as she snuggled into his body.  This was heaven, right here.  This was what all the fuss was about.  He realized that this moment was what made poets write flowery imagery.  He was overflowing with emotion that he had to hold back.  If he let it loose, he would scare her.  So he kissed the top of her head, and held her tight.  Minutes later, her breaths were even as she slept.

Chapter Twenty-three

Grace woke up, remarkably satisfied.  Feeling the strong arms wrapped around her and the familiar legs entangled with hers, she sighed deeply, contented.  Examining the sensations and emotions swirling around her, she realized that she was actually happy, here in Rafe's arms.

Turning to face him, she saw he was awake, watching her with sleepy eyes.

"Good morning, beautiful."  His smile broke his face wide open, and Grace felt cherished. 

She raised her arm to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear and smiled back.  "What did I do to deserve you, Rafe?"

He brought forth something in Grace that she was afraid to name.  If she put a label on the emotion, she would have to give up a part of herself.  A few weeks ago, she would have said that's what he wanted, but now she wasn't so sure.

After showering, Rafe tossed her her purse, and said, "Come on.  We're getting out of here."

"Where are we going?"  Grace's eyes widened in surprise.

"We're going to spend the day together, doing fun stuff.  You need to spend time away."  He came nearer, sending Grace's heart thumping.  What was it about this man that made her an incoherent mess?  He leaned in and his smell overwhelmed her senses.  "I want to spend time with you."

Down in the lobby, Uri was waiting, Heather clinging to his waist like a lifeline.  Grace thought, "That's a fairy tale love.  They don't want to spend a second out of each other's sight."  She had seen the way they interacted the day before, and it was nothing but respect and admiration for each other.  They sent each other glances from across the table and whispered secrets into each other's ear.  It was so sweet, and Grace felt a little pang of longing for something like that with Rafe.  Could it be that way with him?

"They're giving us a ride to the car lot.  We're getting you a new car."

Shocked, "What?  I don't have the money for a car, yet."

"I do."

"You are not buying me a car, Rafe."

"Then I'm loaning you the money for a car, Grace.  Pay me back when you get it."  She saw the determination in the steely glint of his eyes, in the square of his shoulders, and the way his feet were planted on the lobby floor in front of her.

"How do I even know you'll be around when I finally get the money, Rafe?"

His hands snaked around her waist, and he pulled her into an embrace, resting his forehead on hers.  She admitted to herself that he clouded her thoughts, even when he wasn't inside her head.

"I'm not going anywhere.  I'll be right by your side until you tell me what I want to hear.  And then I'll be by your side for the rest of your life."  He crushed his mouth to hers in a kiss that ended all discussions.  Wobbly in the knees, Grace meekly followed everybody out the door and into Uri's car.

They drove to a used car lot near the hotel, and Uri dropped them off.  Seeing a sure sale, an eager salesman with glinting eyes and cheap dress-slacks rushed out the door to greet Rafe and Grace.

Extending his hand to Rafe, "I'm Danny.  I see you need a ride."  He gestured to Uri's car, leaving the lot.

Rafe's handshake lasted slightly longer than was polite, and Grace wondered if he was hopping inside the salesman's head.  He’d said he’d lost that power, but there must be some residual something there, because she could see something plainly going on with the handshake.  Feeling resigned to her fate, she didn't mind.  She'd been screwed at the car lot before, and would take any advantage she could get.

Before Rafe could take over, she jumped in.  "Yes.  I need something dependable and cheap."

Danny perused her up and down, straight-faced, before glancing at Rafe again, briefly.  He spun around and grabbed a couple of keys out of the office and led them to a row of cars parked behind the office.  These weren't the flashy cars displayed up front.  These were exactly what Grace wanted.  An Acura, a Civic, and a Sorento were all lined up, clean and shiny, waiting for her to choose.

Two hours later, the deal was done.  Rafe managed to haggle the man down to a price that Grace was willing to pay him back, and they left with a new/used Acura with a clear title.

In spite of the fact that she was feeling beholden to Rafe for purchasing the car, she was really pleased with it.  It had more bells and whistles than any other car she'd ever had: power windows, a sun roof, and it had an automatic transmission, which was pure luxury for Grace, who'd driven stick shifts her entire life.

She pulled out on the Interstate, playing with the sunroof, while Rafe plugged her iPod into the speaker system.

"Where to now, Rafe?"  She asked over the wind whipping her hair around.

"I want to meet your family."

She stilled in her seat, hands clutching the steering wheel.  "Why?"

He smiled at her.  "I just do, Grace.  I want to see where you came from.  Please?"

Grace continued driving, thinking to herself.  It had been a while since she'd seen her mom and Carl, and Rafe was her boyfriend now, right?  Most boyfriends got to meet families, even though Grace had never made the special trip to the other side of Houston to introduce one to her mom before.

"It's not that big of a deal, Rafe.  You're not going to get any huge insights about me from meeting Mom."

"Maybe not, but I'd still like to."

Her nerves were suddenly in her throat, and she wanted anything else but for Rafe to meet her mom.  What if Mom said something embarrassing?  What if she assumed something about Rafe?  What if Carl was there?  Would Rafe get any ideas about what would be expected in a relationship with her, based on her mom's relationship with Carl?

"At least if I get to see them together, I'll know how not to treat you…"  He said hopefully.  She glanced over at him, and the pleading look in his eyes decided for her.

She couldn't say no.

"Fine."  She growled at him, stepping on the gas to increase her speed.  She suddenly wanted to get the visit over with.  "Just a short visit, and you're taking me someplace nice for dinner afterward."

He chuckled in response, and they drove the hour and a half to Grace's mom's house, making conversation about favorite music and food.  Rafe was a bit uneducated about both, and Grace enjoyed introducing him to her iPod music and telling him about the joys of Italian food.

Eventually, they pulled into the driveway of a tiny house in dire need of a paint job.  An old rusted out car sat in the yard on blocks, surrounded by a barbecue pit and empty beer cans.

Grace took a deep breath, exhaling a long sigh.  Turning to Rafe, she asked, "You ready?"

He grinned at her, that smile that split his face in half, blasting her with dimply goodness. She got out of the car and started walking up to the door.  Rafe followed quickly. 

She knocked on the door once, and it was answered by a woman who could be none other than Grace's mother.  She was tall, like Grace and had the same blond hair and blue eyes.  There were more lines on her face, but it was the same.  When she saw who stood at her door, the lines around her eyes and mouth broadened when she smiled, transforming her face into a thing of beauty.

"Grace!"  She clasped her daughter into a bone-crushing hug, before pulling apart and looking at her, tears in the woman's eyes.  "Carl!"  She yelled over her shoulder.  "Grace is home!"

A man that had at one time been handsome came lurching into the foyer, a beer in one hand.  "Hey, Grace.  Lookin' good.  You married, yet?"

Grace shook her head and grabbed Rafe's hand, pulling him forward.  "Mom, Carl, I want you to meet Rafe."

"Hey, buddy.  Wanna beer?  Y'all stayin' that long?"

"Yeah, go ahead Rafe.  I need to talk to Mama for a minute."  Rafe looked at her before nodding and following Carl to the kitchen.

Grace and her mother sat in the aluminum clam shell chairs on the front porch for a while before Jeannie broke the awkward silence. 

"I see you seem to have found a man."

"Yeah, and he's going to be good for me, I think." 

"That's good."  More awkward silence.   Jeannie's hands were in constant motion, fiddling with the skirt of her faded sundress.  "I'm glad you came out."

"Yeah, me too."  Grace was glad.  Something about seeing her mother again was helping with the pain of thinking about her.  Suddenly, she wasn't as angry, and she couldn't explain why.

"I know you don't like to visit."

"It's not that, Mama…It's just…"  What? 

"You've made your feeling about Carl clear.  Crystal clear.  I know you don't like him."

"I know you love him.  I just don't like how he takes advantage of you all the time.  And you let him."

"I know I do, but it's my life."  Jeannie smiled ruefully.  "I'm a big girl.  It's time for you to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them.  Just quit dwelling on them."

Grace didn't know what to say to that.  She just sat there, staring at her mother's hands.  Hands that looked older than her mother's true age.  Hard-working hands.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, Mama."

"Love is one of those things…It's the best feeling in the world, and it's the worst feeling in the world.  But the good outweighs the bad.  I'm not trying to excuse the way I've treated you, the way I've ignored you at times, I'm just trying to explain a little of why, if it makes any sense."

"I know, Mama.  I think I'm figuring that out."

Jeannie turned her body towards Grace.  "I realize that you probably don't put much stock in what I say about love."

"I didn't used to, but I'm willing to listen now, Mama."  Grace reached out her hand and squeezed her mother's gently.  "I stopped by here because Rafe wanted to meet you.  I decided to tell you I'm not going to give you a hard time about Carl anymore.  If you're happy, I'm happy.  I promise."

They hugged, silent tears streaming down both faces, before going back inside the house.  They found Carl and Rafe sitting at the kitchen table laughing.

"Jeanie.  You won't believe this.  Rafe just bought Grace a car.  She let him do it, too.  I'm shocked."  Looking back at Rafe, he said, "You must have bewitched her or something.  She’s never let guys do stuff like that for her."  He was laughing a silent wheezing laugh that had tears streaming down his red cheeks.  It added a comical depth to Rafe's deep rolling laughter.

Grace's face burned.  "I'm paying him back."

"I made some iced tea this morning.  Who wants some?"  Jeannie asked brightly.  Grace shook her head.

"We're good, Mom.  We've got to go.  Rafe's taking me to dinner."  Rafe took his cue and finished his beer, managing only a slight grimace before standing to leave.

"Hey, we're having a big barbecue party next month, y'all are welcome to come."  Carl stood and extended his hand to Rafe.

"I would like that.  Thanks."  Rafe's smile was genuine, and he turned his gaze to Grace.  "What do you say?"

She shrugged, looking at her mother, whose eyes were hopeful.  "I guess that would be good.  Call me with details, Mom."  She hugged Jeannie and Carl and led the way out the door to her car.

Grace decided to go easy on Rafe for dinner and chose a quiet Italian bistro near Memorial Park on the way back home.  Over lasagna and wine, they chatted about family.

"You know you're going to have to let it go, don't you?"  His eyes twinkled over the rim of the wineglass.

She knew what he was talking about and didn't want to go there, just yet.  "Why are you drinking?  I ordered the bottle out of habit, but you don't drink."

He appeared thoughtful.  "Well, I haven't drunk much, because I haven't used my body much.  I gotta admit though, I like this better than the beer that Carl drinks."

"Well, go slow.  I don't want you drunk."

He tittered at her, and it was such a strange sound coming out of his mouth, Grace smiled in spite of herself.  "You're drunk already, aren't you?"

He flashed her a Cheshire grin.  "Maybe."

She took another bite of the lasagna, using her tongue to lick the cheese off her chin, watching his eyes widen at the gesture.  His fingers gripped his fork, whitening his knuckles.  He seemed to recover himself though.