Falling to Pieces (11 page)

God, I’d been so stupid.

And now I was paying the price.

Disgust twisted his mouth into a sneer. “Love has nothing to do with this! It’s about
respect
and right now not only are you treating me with disrespect, you’re treating your candidacy as a joke.”

I stiffened. “You’re right. The candidacy deserves more respect from me, but you, on the other hand, do not. You have to earn respect and I can’t think of a single thing you’ve done to earn mine.”

My father’s reddened face darkened. “I’ll be more lenient since you are obviously drunk, but I will remind you now, and then again when you’re more sober, that there is
much more
at stake than your pride, Joseph.”

I clenched my fists. “Just leave her out of this.”

“You have to accept that there is no life for you with Rose Gardner. She’s moving on without you and you need to do the same.” He picked up his briefcase and set it on the chair next to me.

I turned to look out the window out into the parking lot. “I don’t want to talk about Rose.” That was a flat-out lie. I wanted to talk about Rose and ached to actually talk
to
her. How many times had I picked up my phone and almost called her? But I didn’t want to talk about her with
him
.

He pulled a folder from his bag and held it toward me. “She’s still working with that drug addict she hired and she’s been spending a large amount of time with that televangelist. I believe they’ve begun a relationship.”

“
Jonah Pruitt
?” I asked before I could stop myself. My gaze landed on the folder.

A hint of a grin lifted his mouth. “Yes, I believe that’s his name. I have several photos of them embracing. She’s been seen coming and going from his home and spending hours with him.”

Anger surged in my chest, boiling my blood. “You’ve had her watched?” But beyond my irritation at his surveillance, anger that she’d already moved on, and who she’d moved on
with
, filled my head. I’d always presumed she’d end up with Mason. Was she upset and devastated enough to end up with that low-life Pruitt? His mother almost killed her and then he must have swooped in and took advantage of her vulnerable state. How could Mason let this happen? I wanted to drive to Henryetta and beat the shit out of both of them.

Just to drive his point home, Dad set the folder on the table and opened it, spreading photos of a woman with Jonah. I tried to look away, but my traitorous eyes refused. The two people in the photo were undeniably Rose and Jonah, and there was no doubt they were embracing. To prove his point, they were in different clothes in three set of photos. His investigator had caught them at least three times. Tears filled my eyes.

“I see that you’re upset.”

“And that’s exactly why you did it.” I shook my head, amazed that my father would stoop that low. But why was I surprised? Hadn’t he proven he’d go to any lengths to get what he wanted?

“I did this to prove to you that
you need to let her go
.”

I twisted to face him. “What the hell? I haven’t contacted her. I’m doing what you asked.”

“No.” My father glared his contempt. “You
haven’t
been doing what I asked at all. You may be here on the campaign trail, but you aren’t trying. Not since the first few days and now you’re losing in the polls. Voters smell apathy a hundred yards away and you reek of it. Where’s the enthusiasm you showed when you announced your candidacy?”

The first few days I’d been numb with grief over losing Rose. It had been so easy to slip into my familiar role—Joe Simmons, asshat charmer. And Hilary’s presence had helped ease me into the persona. The press conference announcing my candidacy had gone well, too well when I took into account that Hilary had gotten carried away with her role as my fiancée, pulling me into a hug and an amorous kiss, and strategically placing her large-stoned engagement ring on my arm. We’d made headlines, even gotten attention on a national morning news show. We were big news and ahead in the polls right out of the gate.

However, I’d still been going through the motions for a few days after that, convincing myself that Rose’s well-being depended on my performance. But I missed her more than I thought it was possible to miss another person. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and Hilary’s continual presence made me physically ill.

My fear for Rose had eased, and I’d let my performance slip. Why should I be surprised my father was here to remind me what I was really running for? Hurting me by pointing out that there was nothing to go back to with Rose was pure bonus.

I shoved the photos back in the folder then turned away. I couldn’t face them.

“I need to go make a few phone calls. Make yourself a cup of coffee and get yourself together within the next two hours or there will be hell to pay.” He stormed out of the room, leaving the incriminating folder on the table.

I picked up the folder to throw it in the trash but I needed to see her again, even if it was in Jonah’s arms. Against what little sense I had left, I spread the photos on the table, searching for a photo of Rose alone. Most were of her with Jonah and Bruce Wayne, but I found one at the bottom of the stack. She’d been working outside and leaned on a shovel, looking at something out of view. She had on a pair of worn jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt, topped with a brown cardigan sweater. Her hair was pulled back and the wind had made her cheeks rosy. A hint of a smile lifted her mouth.

Gripping the photo with two hands, I lifted it closer to examine her left hand. Her fingers were bare, and a knot cramped my stomach. Why would I expect her to still be wearing my ring? She’d never even accepted my proposal, not to mention I was the one who left her. But I still held on to the dream that she believed I’d figure out a way to be with her. But that was completely illogical. I’d told her that we were done. No going back.

I shuffled through the photos with clumsy fingers and found several photos of Rose with Jonah, obviously taken the same day. In one they were facing each other as Rose gazed into Jonah’s face, holding his hand. A second showed them sitting on a porch, their legs pressed together and Jonah leaning into her. In the third, they were standing and in a tight embrace, Rose’s face buried in his chest.

I felt like I was strangling.

I heard a knock at the door but ignored it, sure it was my father coming back to gloat. Seconds later, Hilary entered the room and stopped next to me, taking in the photo in my hands.

“Joe,” she said in a hushed tone. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

A lump formed in my throat, and I fought to take a breath.

She pried the photo from my hands and tossed it on the table. “Joe, you have to stop torturing yourself like this.” Her voice was deceptively comforting.

I turned to her in my drunken haze, drowning in my agony. Rose had moved on without me.

With Jonah Pruitt.

Hilary reached a hand to my cheek, and stroked lightly before brushing my hair from my forehead. “Joe, you know your father will do anything to make sure you run in this race. Even resort to hurting you to keep you in line as evidenced by the photos on that table.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t let him hurt you like this. Don’t give him that power.”

“I can’t do this.” My voice broke.

She pulled me into a hug. “Let me help you.”

I clung to her, desperately wishing she was Rose.

“You don’t have to do this alone, Joe.” She leaned back to look into my eyes. “Let me
help
you.”

I shook my head, confused. How could Hilary help me?

She looped her hands around my neck and pressed her body against mine.

I stiffened at the contact. I put my hands on her waist to push her away.

Her mouth hovered inches over my face. “Let me help you,” she whispered huskily. Before I could answer, her lips touched mine.

I closed my eyes, feeling her tongue coax mine to respond. Weeks of pent-up sexual frustration erupted and my arms tightened around her back, pulling her closer as I kissed her back with an eagerness of my own.

What was I doing?
I jerked backward, bumping into the bed. “
No
!”

She advanced toward me, her face soft and understanding. “Why are you holding back? Because of Rose? I know you’re hurting right now and I want to help you. She’s moved on, Joe, and so should you.”

She was blurry through my tears. Had Rose really moved on without me? Wasn’t that what I told her to do? I choked on a cry of agony.

“Joe.” She pushed me until I sat on the edge of the bed and stood between my legs. “I can’t stand to see you like this, baby. Let her go and let me help you.” Her hand stroked my cheek and smoothed back the hair off my forehead. “You have to let her go.”

“
I can’t
.”

“
Why
?”

“I love her.”

“I know you do, but she’s moved on.” She leaned into my face. “
I
love you, Joe. And I promise you that I won’t leave you, even when you tell me to go away. If she really loved you, she would wait, just like I’ve done. My love is real, Joe. I know you better than anyone knows you. I’ll be better this time. I promise. I’ll be the girlfriend you need. Just let her go and give me another chance.”

I shook my head.

She placed kisses on my cheeks, moving closer to my mouth. “You know you want this.” She reached for my crotch. “And
I
know you want this. Don’t fight it, Joe.
Just feel
.” She pushed me backward on the bed, straddling my hips as she leaned down and kissed me.

I closed my eyes, giving in to the feelings cascading through my body. I’d been numb for weeks and welcomed feeling something. Anything.

Hilary pulled off her shirt and tugged at my clothes, until I was naked. I kept my eyes closed, pretending it was Rose. Even in my drunken state, I knew I’d just sold my soul to the devil.

But my life was so hopeless, what did it matter?

A day earlier

The crisp wind blew strands of hair loose from my ponytail as I pressed the shovel into the dirt. It had been two weeks since Jonah's mother had tried to kill me, but my back still ached especially since I spent the day digging up bushes.

“It’s looking good,” Jonah Pruitt called out.

I looked over my shoulder and smiled. “It’s getting there.”

He stopped next to me, his left arm in a sling. He was recovering from his gunshot wound, but his spirits were still low. I imagined it would be hard to walk around in a good mood when you found out your mother had been killing women, reasoning that she was doing you a favor. “I’m just glad you didn’t hold a grudge against me.”

I leaned against the shovel. “We’ve been over this before. Why on earth would I hold a grudge? You were just as much a victim as I was.”

“Well, thankfully, half the town has been as forgiving as you.”

“And the other half?”

A wry smile lifted his mouth. “You really have to ask?”

No, but one could always hope that the narrow-minded citizens of Henryetta would have an epiphany. “Well, thanks for letting us still work on your yard. Bruce Wayne needs the work.”

Jonah’s eyes softened. “And maybe you do too.”

I had visited Jonah in the hospital to make sure he was handling everything okay, and I’d ended up telling him all about Joe and the closest version of the truth that I’d told anyone about why we split. After he was discharged from the hospital, we’d gotten together for coffee a couple of times at his house. He was a good listener and not prone to giving unsolicited advice, unlike my sister.

Violet had insisted that I stay with her the first week, and I had to admit that it was easy to fall into the old habit of relying on her. But she wanted me to grieve according to her rules, and I’d begun to feel smothered. So Muffy and I went home, as hard as the loneliness was to face. Even with Joe’s absence, home was familiar and comforting. Neely Kate had come over a couple of times with movies and ice cream, and we’d even had a slumber party one night, something I’d never had as a kid.

But the best thing I’d done to make myself feel better was to jump back into the landscaping portion of our business. Word had spread about the job we’d done at the New Living Hope Revival Church, and we’d gotten two other jobs in addition to Jonah’s house, which we’d just started that morning.

I snuck a glance at Bruce Wayne. He was digging up an overgrown shrub and had nearly wrestled it free. I liked working, but I especially liked working with Bruce Wayne. He was great company. He was there if I needed him, but didn’t talk much and didn’t constantly ask if I was okay.

Just like Mason.

After Mason dropped me off at the nursery following my interview with Detective Taylor, he had called and texted a few times, letting me know that he was there for me if I needed him. But otherwise, he’d kept his distance and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“I’m glad you and Bruce Wayne have found each other,” Jonah said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Most people don’t understand us. Especially Violet.” She’d had a fit when she realized I was not only returning to work, but still working with Bruce Wayne. She said I had enough strikes against me, that associating with a known habitual criminal would be the final nail in my social coffin now that I was no longer dating a state policeman.

Jonah’s mouth twisted in a grimace. “Violet has her own issues to work out, but she avoids them by focusing on other people’s instead. I think you were smart to go back home.”

My eyes widened in surprise.

“Forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn.”

I shook my head. “No. You’re only saying what I’ve already thought. Violet wants things to go back the way they were before I dated Joe and before—” I stopped myself from saying before Violet started having an affair, “—before Mike left her.” I released a heavy sigh. “But I’m not the same person I was before Momma died. And I don’t want to go back to being that person.”