Falling to Pieces (13 page)

She hugged me back then pulled away and rolled her eyes. “Well that goes without saying. I’m introducing you to the
many
hot men of Seattle Grace Hospital.” She tilted her head to the side with a smirk. “You’re welcome.”

She started the first episode and we snuggled under afghans as the rain pounded the roof. After the second episode, she paused the DVD and grabbed the ice cream from the freezer, holding up two containers. “Here we have Cherry Garcia, my personal favorite, and then Phish Food, because I know how much you like chocolate.” She put the containers on the table, ripped off the lids and handed me the Phish Food container.

I took it and the clean spoon she offered. “No bowls?”

She shrugged, leaning back with her own ice cream. “What’s the point of dirtying bowls? Especially when you don’t have a dishwasher.”

I dug my spoon into the ice cream. “True.”

“So what do you think?” she asked, studying the ice cream on her spoon.

“I like it. Momma never let me watch
Grey’s Anatomy
because she said a show about doctors fornicating in hospital hallways was the devil’s handiwork.”

“Your momma sure made the devil out to be one busy guy.”

I laughed. “Yeah. She did.”

“But I wasn’t talking about the show. I meant Joe.” She twisted her head to look at me.

“What’s there to think about?”

“Do you think he’s really with her or is it a political move? I looked up some articles online and the reporters suspect they’re not really together. They were touchy feeling the first few days, but the articles pointed out that Hilary initiated all of it.”

I dug my spoon deep into the ice cream with more force than necessary. “What difference does it make? Joe broke up with me. He can marry whoever he likes.”

“He still loves you, Rose.”

My gaze rose to her face. “It doesn’t matter, Neely Kate. We are
done
. We
all
need to accept that. Even you.”

“But Rose—”

“Did you know Jonah used to be a psychologist? He used to counsel people.”

Her face scrunched in confusion. “I guess that’s not so surprising. He’s a minister. They help people.”

“I asked him if I could talk to him a couple of times a week.”

Her spoon lowered over her container as her mouth gaped. “You did?”

I glanced down at my container. “Before Joe broke up with me, Mason told me that I couldn’t keep shoving everything under the rug. That I have to face my past and everything bad that’s happened.” I looked up at her. “I think he’s right. I’m ready to do it. I
need
to do it so I can move on too.”

“You really want to do this?”

I nodded, tears filling my eyes. “I asked Jonah, before I knew about Joe and Hilary, but hearing the news was the confirmation I needed that it’s time to quit wallowing. It’s time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going. I’m tired of being weak. I’m tired of falling to pieces whenever I hear his name.”

“Rose, it’s okay to wallow a little. That doesn’t make you weak.”

“But happiness is a choice, Neely Kate. I could get stuck in this pit of feeling sorry for myself, but I don’t want to. I don’t like it here. I want to climb out and I want to live my life.” I leaned closer to her. “I want to be
happy
. I had a taste of it with Joe and I want to feel it again. Even if it seems impossible to feel it without him.”

She put her ice cream on the table and took my hand. “No one deserves happiness more than you do. You
will
be happy. I promise.”

“And when I sort out the mess of my life, then I’ll be ready to try being with someone else. I need to sort me out first.”

A soft smile lifted the corners of her mouth but her eyes filled with tears. “You’ve just said the smartest thing I’ve heard in ages.”

I blinked back tears. “Thanks.”

“And you
do
know someone is waiting for you to be ready don’t you?”

I nodded, a blush rising to my cheeks. “Yeah. I suspect he is.”

“Have you seen him?”

“Not since the day I gave my statement to the police. But he calls every so often and he texts me telling me that he’s there for me if I need him.”

“I always said Mason Deveraux was a smart man.”

I laughed and scooped out a spoonful of ice cream. “No, I think you said he had a corn cob stuck up his butt.”

She giggled and stuck her spoon in my ice cream. “Well, at the time he
did
.” She winked. “He just needed a woman to soften him up.”

I shook my head with a grin.

“But if he’s not interested, Austin Kent, Violet’s friend is still available. The guy she set you up with at her impromptu barbeque, remember him?”

My brow lowered with a scowl. “How do you know he’s available?”

She shrugged. “I knew he was interested before and I did some checking. So see? You have options. And the fact you’re considering them is a good thing.”

She started the next episode and I tried to concentrate on the latest Seattle Grace disaster, but I keep thinking about being with another man. It felt weird and wrong.

Could I really consider finding love again? Would I ever really be over Joe?

Several days later, Bruce Wayne and I finished Jonah’s yard. We stood back at the curb, taking it all in. All the overgrown shrubbery had been removed, and we’d put in new bushes, along with a mix of chrysanthemums and perennials. We’d built a foot-tall retaining wall on the side of the house with landscaping blocks, dug up the crumbling sidewalk from the driveway to the front porch, and laid a brick paver path. We’d worked hard all week and it had paid off. The front of the house looked beautiful.

“We did a good job, Miss Rose.”

I grinned, feeling real happiness for the first time in weeks. “Yes, we did. We need to celebrate.”

He turned to me in surprise.

“I’m taking you out to lunch.”

His head ducked and his face reddened. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to. I
need
to celebrate something, Bruce Wayne.”

His face lifted and he nodded, understanding in his eyes. “Sounds good.”

We loaded up the remaining tools in the back of my truck and washed our hands in the spigot at the side of Jonah’s house. He was going to be thrilled at the transformation. I was sorry he wasn’t here to see it.

Bruce Wayne headed for his car.

“Hold up a minute,” I called after him, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I pulled up Jonah’s number and called him. He needed something happy in his life too even if it was something as simple as his house looking pretty.

“Hey, Rose.” He greeted me with warmth in his voice. “I was just thinking about you and Bruce Wayne. How’s it coming?”

I grinned, knowing he couldn’t see it, but I couldn’t keep my joy to myself. “We’re done.”

“You are?”

“Want to come see?”

“Yeah.” He sounded happier than I had ever heard him. “I’ll be right there.”

Fifteen minutes later, Jonah pulled into his driveway. His face lit up with a smile as he got out of his car. “Rose, Bruce Wayne…It’s wonderful!”

I looped my arm through his right arm. “It looks a lot more welcoming now.”

He shook his head in amazement. “I’m glad I tried not to look at it the last couple of days. It looks so much more impressive this way.” He glanced down at me. “I know it must look silly to be so excited over something like landscaping…” His voice trailed off. “It feels like home now. Like I belong here.”

“Jonah,” I leaned close and lowered my voice. “You know that I, of all people, get it. That’s why I called you.”

His eyes softened. “Thanks.”

“We’re both making progress, a few steps at a time.”

He nodded. “I just wish everyone was as forgiving as you are.”

“Maybe they’ll get there, but until then, you’ve got me. And Bruce Wayne.” I gasped. “Hey! We were just going to go eat lunch and celebrate. Why don’t you come with us?”

“Oh.” Some of his excitement faded. “I don’t want to encroach.”

“We’d really like if you came,” I said, tugging on his arm. “Wouldn’t we, Bruce Wayne?”

He nodded, looking Jonah in the eyes. “Yes, sir. We would.”

“Besides,” I said, squeezing his arm. “You’re the reason we’re celebrating. We have two landscape jobs lined up after this and possibly a third, and all thanks to you. It was the work on your church and house that got us the new jobs. So you
have
to come. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

He smiled. “Well, okay then.”

“Good. It’s settled. Where do you two want to go?”

Bruce Wayne and Jonah picked Merilee’s café, so I called Neely Kate on the way and invited her to meet us in ten minutes.

“I love that you’re celebrating something,” she squealed. “I wouldn’t dream of missing it.”

I parked half-block away. Bruce Wayne and Jonah were waiting at the entrance to the restaurant along with Neely Kate.

Her face lit up with a smile when I reached her. “Thanks for letting me crash your celebration.”

I gave her a huge hug. “I wouldn’t dream of celebrating without you.”

Neely Kate opened the door and held it open. “They’re already setting up a table for us so go on in.”

Neely Kate patted Bruce Wayne’s arm as he grabbed the door and motioned for us to walk in. A waitress motioned us to the back where she had pushed two tables together.

“Rose, you sit at the end of the table,” Neely Kate said.

I counted our group, wondering if I’d gotten the number wrong. “Why do we need two tables? There’s only four of us and we’ll all fit at one.”

She shrugged with a grin. “I hope you don’t mind if I invited someone to join us.”

“Of course not.” Had she called Violet? I hoped not. I felt some guilt not including her, but the people at this lunch had done everything in their power to build me up, not tear me down. The fact I couldn’t include Violet in the bunch was telling enough.

“Good.” Neely Kate tilted her head toward the front door. “He’s walking across the street now.”

The front door opened and Mason filled the doorway. His gaze swept the room and landed on me, his face lighting up.

“It just seemed like he needed to be here,” she said, glancing back at him and then me.

A soft smile lifted my mouth and my chest tightened. “Yeah, it’s perfect now.”

Mason moved to the end of the table and hesitated. “I hope you don’t mind that Neely Kate invited me. Is it okay if I join you?”

I nodded, trying to keep from tearing up. I wasn’t sure why I was so happy he was here, but I realized I was celebrating with my friends, which meant he belonged here too.

His smile spread across his face as he extended a hand toward Bruce Wayne. The two men shook and Mason looked Bruce Wayne in the eyes, congratulating him on helping to make the Gardner Sisters Nursery a success. The respect he showed Bruce Wayne filled my heart with an unexpected warmth.

Bruce Wayne’s gaze lowered. “It’s all Miss Rose. She comes up with the ideas. I just do the diggin’ and plantin’.”

I shook my head with a laugh. “Don’t let him fool you. I couldn’t do it without him. We’re a team.”

Mason nodded, pride in his eyes as he glanced at me. “I believe that’s probably true.”

We all sat down, me at one end and Mason at the other, with Neely Kate and the other two men on the sides. We ordered lunch and talked about our landscaping jobs then Jonah’s decreased church attendance.

“But the members who have stayed seem even more committed than before,” Jonah said, absently poking his fork as his salad.

“You’ll build it back up,” Neely Kate reached over and patted his hand. “And your church will be stronger for it. Especially since you seem more genuine now. No offense, Jonah, but you were kind of creepy and overbearing before.”

“Neely Kate!” I gasped.

Jonah lifted his hands in surrender, wincing when he lifted his left arm too high. “No, it’s true, Rose. I’ve listened to my mother’s advice and suggestions for over two years, but now I just want to be myself. It’s going to take some time to figure out who that is.” His gaze found mine and he smiled softly. “Just like you’re trying to figure out who
you
are now.”

Confusion flickered in Mason’s eyes, but he remained silent.

We spent the next forty minutes telling stories and laughing. I was surrounded by people who cared about me and I cared about them. Joe had called them outcasts, and he was probably right. Even Mason had been cast out of Little Rock as penance for his crime, but I was an outcast too.
These people
were who I belonged with. A warm happiness flooded my chest, and I felt like there was nothing too daunting for me to tackle.

I cast a glance at Mason and found him watching me with a soft smile. We locked eyes and my stomach fluttered before I looked away.

When we finished lunch, I hugged each one of my friends goodbye, but I saved Mason for last. We stood alone on the sidewalk outside the café, neither one of us speaking. The crisp late October wind gently blew my hair into my eyes as I stared up into Mason’s face, my hands stuffed into my jean pockets.

“Are you cold?” he asked, starting to remove his jacket.

“No,” I said with a smile. “I’m fine.”

“You look good, Rose,” he said, softly. “You look happy.”

I shifted my feet. “I’m getting there.” I paused. “I took your advice.”

Confusion wrinkled his brow. “What advice?”

“You told me I had to face what I’ve been through. That I have to work through it to move on. You were right, and I’ve been doing that.”

He released a breath, his warm eyes glittering. “Good. I’m glad.”

“Jonah was a licensed therapist in Texas, so we get together twice a week now and talk about… things.” I bit my lower lip before continuing. “I need to figure out who I am alone before I can figure out who I am with someone else.” I tilted my head. “Does that make sense?”

He smiled, looking relieved. “It makes perfect sense.”

I knew he’d understand. He’d been there for me through so much, but I didn’t realize how much I liked having him around until that moment. His absence the last couple of weeks had left a hole in my life. I took a step closer. “I miss you, Mason.”