Falling to Pieces (10 page)

Teddy’s eyes lit up. “So you’re a hero.”

“No,” I snorted, looking away. “I’m far from a hero. I didn’t get there in time. She died before the ambulance arrived.”

“But we can use this.” Excitement filled Teddy’s voice as he grabbed his notebook and pen. “We can paint you as a hero who tried to—”

“
No
.” I glared at my father. “I will
not
use her. That is non-negotiable.”

For the first time since this mess began, my father’s face softened. “All right, Joe. It’s not on the table.”

“Thank you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Dad turned toward Teddy. “You’d be better off using his big undercover bust in Henryetta a few months ago. He single-handedly took down a statewide crime ring in Fenton County, resulting with the arrest of Daniel Crocker.”

I closed my eyes. “It wasn’t single-handed.”

“True, an informant who was part of the bust was killed, but he died a hero after he provided valuable information. But after the case was compromised with his death, Joe stepped up and got what the state police needed to make a bust.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “You seriously want to use this case?”

“It’s your biggest bust to date.”

“Since when have you paid attention to my case record?”

“I’ve always paid attention.”

That didn’t surprise me, but my father had never approved of my decision to join the state police, and he’d sure never let on that he knew about what I was up to. But he made it his business to know everything. “It wasn’t single-handed. I’d be dead if it weren’t for Rose.”

Teddy’s eyebrows rose. “It takes two hours to find out that you’re not the boring stuffed-shirt I thought you were. Why do I think there’s more to this story? Who’s Rose?”

“She’s a civilian,” my father said. “Crocker and the state police thought Ms. Gardner was an anonymous informant, but it was based on circumstantial evidence. Still, she got sucked into the case and her life was threatened. And Joe is being modest. It was Joe that saved Rose.”

“Is this Rose the same Rose you are no longer engaged to?”

I swallowed. “We were never engaged.”

“But you had a relationship?”

I blinked and looked out the window. I refused to break down in front of my father and let him gloat in my misery. “Yes. I met her during the case. I’ve been seeing her since.”

“Until you recently broke up?”

I didn’t answer.

Teddy grinned. “This is big. We can use this.”

“I don’t want to use it at all.” There was no way I could talk about that case without the aching reminder of Rose. “I want to leave Rose out of this.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a complicated love life.” Teddy wrote down some notes. “How many of these complications could complicate your campaign?”

“None.” My father pushed his chair back and leaned his arm on the table. “I’ve made sure of it.”

Teddy grunted. “Let’s hope you have. We don’t have time to sort out a scandal and salvage the campaign should one of your complications jump up and bite you in the ass.”

He showed me a schedule that included something every day with multiple town hall meetings coordinated in multiple towns and a few debates scheduled toward the middle and end of the campaign. “We’ll let you get your feet wet before we throw you to the proverbial wolf.”

By late afternoon, I was exhausted and Teddy noticed. “Go home, get a goodnight’s sleep and plan on meeting me at the capital outside the secretary of state’s office at 9:45. And bring your fiancée with you.” Teddy gathered his papers and stood. “You’ve got the looks. You’ve got the background. You’ve got potential appeal, but I’ll be honest,” He stuffed his papers into his bag and studied me. “At the moment you lack the charisma. You better pull some out of your ass by tomorrow or you’ll be done before you even begin.”

Over before I begin. The story of my life.

Without saying a word, I stood and headed for the exit. My father called my name, but I ignored him, needing the solitude of my car. I drove to my parents’ house on autopilot. I walked through the front door and climbed the massive staircase to my old room, ignoring my mother’s welcome call from the living room. I shut the door behind me and sat in my old navy and cream plaid overstuffed chair, staring out the window at storm clouds brewing in the distance.

My gaze shifted to a trophy on my old desk. I’d won it the first summer that I’d attended the young leader’s summer camp. The one Hilary had mentioned the night before. “Most Promising Rising Political Leader” was engraved on the front. Funny how it had filled my heart with a dread now that was equal to the dread I felt the day I’d won it. This damn award had sealed my political fate, and I was smart enough to realize it when the counselor had placed it in my hand. Even at the age of ten.

But my fate had been sealed before that summer, just as my father had admitted the night before. I’d been born to run for political office. Refusing this path had never been an option.

I glanced around the room that I grew up in. Little had changed over the years. My mother had had the room professionally decorated in the baseball theme when I was five. Ornate paneling covered the walls up to a chair rail with navy wallpaper with baseballs above it and a navy bedspread covered the full-sized bed with a heavy wooden headboard. The room looked like it had come out of a magazine, but I never felt like I belonged here. Something had always been missing in my life, and I’d finally found her a few short months ago.

I wasn’t sure how I could go on without Rose. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to try.

I’d only left her hours ago, and we’d spent over half of our relationship apart, but the finality of never seeing her again filled me with overwhelming despair.

Tears burned my eyes, and I leaned my temple into the cushions of the chair. What was the point of any of this without her?

A knock on the door got my attention, and my mother entered the room.

Her face softened when she saw me, moving to the side of my old bed and sitting on the edge. “I take it Rose didn’t agree.”

I refused to answer, not that I could with the lump in my throat.

“It’s better to find out now before your heart was broken.”

I snorted. Before my heart was broken. What in the hell did she think I was upset about now?

“I understand this is difficult for you, Joe. But I promise you that time does heal all wounds. And one day, you will agree that this all worked out for the best.”

I stared at the tree branches outside my window.

She was silent for a moment. “We have guests tonight. Several couples who wish to contribute to your campaign, so you’ll need to dress for dinner.”

I still didn’t answer. I was the puppet and they were pulling the strings. Nothing had really changed. Sure, different time, different circumstances, but I was still theirs to manipulate. Only this time, they were certain I would comply.

She stood and moved toward me, her fingers curling around my shoulder. “I know this hurts now, Joe, but I promise it will get easier.” She paused, a hint of sadness creeping into her voice. “Not necessarily better, but it will get easier once you accept your fate.”

I looked up at her in surprise.

“We all have our purpose in this world, and it’s not always what we want it to be. Despite what our heart wants.” Her eyes clouded then she gave me a stiff smile. “A tuxedo isn’t necessary tonight. A suit and tie will be sufficient. Drinks begin at seven. Dinner at eight. I suggest you make an appearance at seven or soon after.” She moved to the door and stopped. “Hilary will be in attendance. It’s time for you to accept your full responsibility.”

The door closed behind her. I picked up the trophy and stared it for a moment before throwing it against the wall.

A few hours later, I descended the staircase, arriving at the entrance of the living room full of guests promptly at seven.

Hilary stood across the room, talking to an older couple, her melodious laugh filling the room. She wore a tailored dress and heels, her hair pulled back at the sides. I paused in the entrance, searching for the gumption to go through with this. She pivoted, a smile spreading across her face as she saw me. Softness exuded from her. Her dress and the way she wore her hair reminded me of when we were younger, back when we were both innocent and unjaded. Hilary moved toward me, practically floating through the room until she reached me. Her beauty and her grace caught the attention of the other guests. The unabashed love on her face as she kept her gaze on me made it appear that she thought we were the only two people in the room.

Hilary always knew how to get attention.

She stopped in front of me and pressed a kiss on my cheek. “You can do this, Joe. You’ve spent your entire life preparing for this.”

I looked down at her face, numb inside.

“We’ll get through this. Together.” She slipped her hand in mine, pulling me into the room.

Years of instinct and practice from working undercover kicked in.

Showtime.

The corners of my mouth lifted into a smile my heart didn’t feel like giving, and I greeted the first couple I came to, offering my hand. “Hi. I’m Joe Simmons and I’d like your support for the Arkansas State Senate.”

Two weeks later

I looked out the window of the motel room, twisting a glass in my hand.

My father stood behind me, delivering a monologue that had turned into a nonsensical mash of words in my inebriated state. I tried to read the motel sign in the parking lot to jog my memory. What town was I in? I’d lost track days ago.

“Did you hear me?” his voice broke through my muddled thoughts.

I blinked, keeping my gaze out the window. “Hear what?”

“Have you heard a damned thing I’ve said?”

My hand tightened around the glass, the ice cubes clicking against the sides. “No.”

He cursed for several seconds. “And that attitude is exactly why you’re losing in the polls, Joe. You have to step up your game.”

Step up my game
. That meant I had to actually give a damn, which I didn’t. “Fine.”

“Have you even prepared for this town hall meeting in Preston?”

Preston. So that’s where we were, not that it really mattered. These meetings were all the same. I shrugged. “What’s there to prepare for? I’ll pull out the Joe Simmons charm and have the votes of women age eighteen to fifty all tied up and in the bag.”

“That’s not going to work in Preston. You’ll be facing a group of irate farmers wanting to know what kind of subsidies you’re going to vote for once you get into office.”

“So answer this two-part question for me, Dad.” I turned to face him with a sneer. “One, what subsidies will I promise them, and two, what subsidies will I actually vote for? Because, obviously this is your dog-and-pony show. I’m just the front man.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest. “You need to act like you give a damn, Joe.”

“See?” I turned and held out my glass toward him, extending a wavering finger. “
That
was where you screwed up. You should have made sure I actually gave a damn in the first place.”

His eyes hardened. “Have you been drinking all afternoon?”

I gave him an ugly smile, holding out my glass. “Guilty as charged.”

His face reddened, and he looked like he was about to have a stroke. As if I could be so lucky. “What the hell are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I can’t face another freaking day on the campaign trail with Daddy Dearest without fortification.”

“
How drunk are you
?”

“Not drunk enough.”

My father stomped over and jerked the drink from my hand. “Have you really reverted to frat behavior?”

I reached for the glass, but he jerked it out of my reach, not difficult given my poor coordination. “That insinuates I actually
partook
in frat behavior. I was too busy studying to get good enough grades to get into Vanderbilt law school.”

“And then you didn’t even go there!” His voice boomed throughout the room.

I offered him my best smart-assed grin. “And
there’s
the burn. I got into Vanderbilt and I didn’t go. Score one for Joe.”

His eyes narrowed. “Do you
really
want to go on this trip down Memory Lane? You paint yourself as a martyr when you were an undergrad, but you sure as hell made up for it when you started law school in Little Rock. I can start listing your transgressions if you like, but it might take
quite
some time.”

My face heated with anger. “Why the hell not? Let’s go for broke, right here in some piss-ant motel in some hell-hole town. Let’s just get it all out in the open. Why don’t I invite some reporters in here to get the scoop too?”

That seemed to get his attention. He stiffened then set my glass on the bathroom counter. “You’re months shy of your thirtieth birthday, Joseph. Is it too much to ask you to act your age?”

“Is it too much to ask you to actually love me for me instead of my political potential?” The alcohol had loosened my tongue, and the words were out before I could stop them, but I was still sober enough to instantly regret it. As a young child, I’d learned to not show any sign of weakness to my father or he would use it against me. I’d be revisited by that gem, whether it be now or later.

Over the last few weeks, while I’d had plenty of time to wallow in my misery, I realized
that
was where I had screwed up so royally.

I’d let my parents know that I actually loved someone.

I thought my mother, who had begun to lament the fact she was never going to be a grandmother, would be thrilled that there were grandbabies on the horizon. I was too blind to admit they’d never approve of Rose. But then, I thought Rose would win them over—how could anyone meet Rose and not love her? I should have known they would never accept anyone other than Hilary as my wife.