Fantasy of Flight (20 page)

Jovan and I climb the stairs, grabbing at each other when we weave too close to a wall or an armored decoration. We collapse outside my door, gasping with laughter after he walks into a wall.

I get up once I find my legs and start to shrug off his tunic. He stops me. “No, you keep it until tomorrow. That’s how it works.”

How what works? Our gazes meet and I forget my question. He places one hand on the wall behind me. I catch my breath as he leans in.

Errant party-goers shout down the hall, breaking the moment. He pushes back with a sigh.

“Goodnight,” he growls and walks off without another glance. I know because I watch him until he disappears around the corner.

I tug off the tunic, back in my room, and hang it over the chair. I lean against one of the bed pillars, head swimming. Is it wrong to be disappointed he didn’t come in with me? That he didn’t at least kiss me. What would have happened if he did come in here?

A nagging voice - the one I like to ignore - gives me the answer.

The side door creaks open and then shuts. Still resting on the pillar, I keep my eyes closed, taking quick, shallow breaths. Light footsteps sound until the person stops in front of me. I know who it is. I know what he wants. Do I want this, too?

I open my eyes and look at him.

I want him. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone. He crosses over to me in one long stride. I know my expression is just as hungry as his.

He lifts me up so I’m standing on the bed seat, his hands high on my ribs beneath my breasts. He pulls my head forward and I grasp his face and kiss him. He slips his tongue into my mouth and I don’t think about why, I just copy him, smelling his clean, male scent. His hands are everywhere. Sliding down my back, skimming over my flat stomach, stroking my arms. He pulls back and runs his fingers between my breasts, continuing down the length of the line in the middle of my torso.

“Olina, are you sure?” he murmurs into my skin. “We’ve both had a lot to drink. We can do this another time.” I know he’ll go if I ask him to. I think of the clambering men back on Osolis and then Jovan, and I know what’s about to happen is right. I’m sick of worrying over every detail. Tonight I’m just going to feel.

I reach up and grasp the chain behind my neck in answer to his question. In the bravest move I’ve ever made, I pull it over my head and let it drop. His guttural groan has me dancing inside. My gasping breath fills the room and is only interrupted by his growling between frantic kissing. The rest of my dress is off. He pushes me onto the bed and looks his fill as he takes off the rest of his clothing. A thrill of nervousness goes through me as he moves toward me over the furs of the bed. He grabs my bent knees and pushes them apart.

“Jovan,” I say, with a nervous tremble in my voice.

“Let go, Olina,” he murmurs. “Trust me.”

I do trust him. Some instinct has me tilting my hips upward. I gasp at the sensation and try not to push back.

“Relax, baby.” Suddenly, when I think I can’t bear it anymore, he freezes. I look up through hazy eyes to see his horrified look.

“You’re a—” he gasps. I can’t move. Something inside warns me not to move. Jovan shudders above me, as much as I tremble.

“I can’t stop,” he whispers, tortured, and plunges forward.

My eyes fly open. The room is shrouded in darkness. I blink a couple of times to adjust my vision and as I do, a hand shifts around my waist. I freeze and slowly turn to look behind me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jovan’s in bed with me! I bite down on my fist to stop from screaming. Blurry memories rush back at me as I stare in disbelief at the King of Glacium. In my bed.

He shifts away, rolling onto his other side. The fur falls down around his hips.

Veni, what have I done? I slide out of bed in increments, wincing at the soreness between my thighs.

I had sex with Kedrick’s brother! I sit in shock before my mind starts to work. The responsibilities I carry as Tatuma begin to blanket my desires and wishes. They keep accumulating until I see my decision last night for what it really was. A selfish and rash act.

What had we been thinking?  A tear trickles and drips off my chin. The King of Glacium and the Tatuma of Osolis. If word got out, it would be disastrous. My blue eyes would pale in significance to the disgust of…our interbreeding.

How am I any different from my mother? I’ve lived through the devastation of her choices, but here I was repeating her mistakes.

I didn’t regret the moment. But I’m terrified about what it means now.

I look toward the exit as the walls begin to close in on me.

Solis, I practically threw myself at him! He wanted to stop. He asked me if I wanted to do it another time. What if I hadn’t done it right? Tears begin to build in my eyes.  I wince as I recall some of the things I did and said, unable to stop a small groan as I remember him washing me afterward. Was he as drunk as I was? 

But I remember
he
came to my chamber. And
he
kissed me first. My eyes widen. What if he cared for me?

Jovan’s breaths are steady underneath the furs. His breathing hadn’t been steady last night. Neither had mine. I slither into my trousers and feel for my tunic. It’s nowhere to be found. I remember Jovan’s tunic from last night. I grab it off the chair.

I can’t see the horror in his eyes when he comes to the same conclusions I have.  There’s no way I’m sticking around to watch. I don’t think I could bear it. This will be proof to him I always run, but it’s for the best. Crystal said she had a place for me to go. I slide my feet into my boots. She said it was a place where no one would ever find me. Maybe a mountain somewhere. I’ll just go for a while. A week or two. Give us both some space to collect ourselves and to remember we have others to think about. I’m doing it for our people. We’ll have time to rid ourselves of any deeper unsanctioned feelings.

When I think I can look Jovan in the eye again, I’ll come back. I’ll return as a cold, distant Tatuma.

I reach for the door and realize the guards will have orders to wake Jovan if I leave. The others from the barracks were given permission to come and go as they pleased after the ball, but I suspect the orders for me are different. Tears threaten again. I rest my head against the wood. What if I’m pregnant? I’ll have a baby who’s mixed and they’ll be shunned like I am. Did Jovan have some way to stop me becoming pregnant? Without a caring mother and no female friends during childhood, I’m entirely ignorant of the finer workings of sleeping with someone.

This thought puts a new urgency into my actions. I look up at the door. Is it smaller than it was a moment ago? I need to get out. Now.

I take a deep breath and peek at Jovan once more, knowing it will be the last time I’ll see him in my bed only wearing furs.

I slip into the hallway and close the door with a soft thud. I wave at the guards and stroll around the corner. As soon as I’m out of sight, I start running.

When I first came to the castle in the Third Sector, I explored different ways to escape once my wrist and shoulder had healed. In the end I never used them. I was grateful for that fact. I take another stairway, leaping over someone slumbering halfway up. The guards could be waking Jovan right now.

I sprint through the meeting room and take the passageway to the kennels. I listen for signs anyone else is there and creep down to the cage levers. The dogs whine and bark as they sense the intruder in their midst. Gripping one lever, I pull down and release a team of dogs. I do the same for the other four teams. I dodge through the pack and pull open the entrance to the kennels. The dogs spill out into the courtyard. Yells start up outside. I watch as the four Watchmen desert their posts and rush down from the castle walkway. The portcullis has been left open for any straggling guests. I slip outside, crouch and run along the dark wall of the courtyard, keeping flush with the shadows.

No one spots me. I run down the path leading away from the castle. Time is short. I must act like Jovan is right behind me. He probably is.

I get lost in the Middle Ring, but orientate myself and soon I reach Alzona’s barracks, wild and out of breath. The sounds of my fist pounding on the door echoes down the alley behind me.

It’s not long before its yanked open. The wary scowl on Alzona’s face turns into surprise as she recognizes me.

“Frost. What’s wrong?” She rushes to open the gate. I hurry in, gasping for air.

I wait until we are inside. “I need to talk to Crystal. Is she here?” I ask. Alzona nods, not wasting time with questions before she retreats down the hall.

Crystal hurries in, eyes alert. She must have woken with the noise as well. The men can’t have made it back yet or they’d be out here, too. As soon as she sees my face, her expression sharpens.

“You’re taking me up on my offer?” she asks.

“I need to hide,” I whisper. “And quickly.” She gives me a terse nod.

I hasten to my room with only a fleeting glance at Alzona, who is looking between Crystal and me.

I thrust a hand into the lumpy mattress and draw out my money and the arrow. I take my warmest jacket and swap my trousers for thicker ones. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’d rather be too warm than too cold. I grab the hat, gloves and my wooden band. I look at the veil - it’s useless. I tear it into unrecognizable pieces and shove it back in the mattress. A loud hammering comes from the front of the barracks. My mouth dries. There isn’t time to get anything else.

I dash to the mess hall. Alzona is gesturing at Crystal, who shakes her head.

“I can’t tell you. Please just trust me,” Crystal pleads.

“Open this door! In the name of the King!” someone yells.

“Open this fucking door!” another roars. I jolt as I recognize Jovan’s voice. “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare run.”

The others turn to me with wide eyes. Crystal gives me a searching look and I nod even as Jovan’s plea causes a pang of longing in my chest. It’s the reason I’m leaving. She grabs my hand.

“Come on, we’ll go out through the roof.” She stops to kiss Alzona, who turns her head away.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble to Alzona as we leave.

Crystal and I push through the trap door, running along the rooftops. I have no idea where she’s taking me. I’m hard-pressed to ignore the deep ache in my stomach, which is objecting to our jolting pace.

The sky begins to lighten and we slow to a walk to navigate around a large frosty mound. Crystal draws in gulping breaths. I’m surprised she’s been able to keep going for so long. I look up as we break from the trees and see the Oscala ahead. The familiar sight of thousands of floating rocks informs me we’re moving
away
from the mountains. Where is she taking me?

There are no houses this close to Glacium’s edge. Just trees, and birds that have woken early to feast. She turns off the path and we resume our jog for a while before she stops in front of a tree. I look at her, opening my mouth to speak.

I bite back the question as she reaches into a hollow of the tree and pulls out some kind of contraption. She swings it over her back.

“Climb,” she orders.

This time I don’t stop the question. “What? Why?”

She looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Frost, how long do you think it would have taken them to find the roof exit? And then how long before they found one of the hundred or so people we’ve passed on our way here? Then how long before they see our footsteps in the wet ground? There is no time for questions. Climb the damn tree,” she says.

Well, when she puts it like that. I grip a rough limb and begin to haul myself up. I stop halfway.

“Keep on going,” she says below me. “All the way to the top.”

I keep going until the branches start to complain at my weight. Crystal pulls up beside me and begins to work at the contraption, snapping rods into place and pulling straps free. It starts to form a “v” shape. The material is something I haven’t ever seen before. Shiny, flexible, but obviously tough. She swings the large frame behind her and gestures to me with an impatient hand. Biting my lip to keep another question at bay, I approach. Crystal is a sensible woman. Surely she isn’t meaning to do what I think she is. She spins me so my back is to her and reaches around to fasten a strap around our hips. Her touch is efficient, not like Jovan’s warm hands had been. I resist the sudden temptation to sob like a child.

She reaches pale arms around me and fastens another belt around my chest, then releases a thin wooden frame from the stretched material above our heads and lowers it in front of us until it’s at hip level. I grip onto a neighboring branch as we wobble precariously.

“Hold onto the bar,” she instructs and hurries through more pulling and tightening. “Feet in the loops.” I look down as she kicks two leather loops next to my feet. I slip into them and she slots her feet behind mine.

“It’s lucky we’re both on the smaller side. This frame isn’t really designed to fly two people,” she mutters. “Alright, hold onto the bar.
Don’t
kick
. Just keep still. I’ll do the rest,” she instructs.

I twist my head over my shoulder. Did she just say fly?

I don’t get a chance to ask my question. Crystal tips us forward off the branch.

My stomach lurches as we drop and then again as the wind catches beneath the frame and we’re lifted upward. I’m so terrified I can’t make a sound.

“Sorry, it doesn’t normally drop so much! It’s because of the extra weight. I’m going to move us higher now,” she yells over the howl. I gag as she does, drawing the wings in so we drop a little and suddenly pushing them out so we soar higher.

“What is this?” I scream, having finally found my voice.

“Flying! Isn’t it amazing?” she says.

Those aren’t the words I’d choose. My heart has slowed marginally. Enough for me to realize where we’re going.

“We’re going to the Oscala?” I yell. She confirms this with a shout in my ear.

We fly between the islands of rock and dodge the cliff-faces and jutting stones. Crystal pushes us higher and higher, until I start to feel queasy. This isn’t the ideal motion for a hangover. I focus on the thought I’m moving further away from Jovan to take my mind off my complaining stomach. Solis! What must he think of me? I’d rather be locked in a tower than see him again.

Deep in my misery, it takes a few seconds to realize Crystal is lowering us. I open my eyes and feel my jaw drop.

There are houses up here. I close my eyes and open them again, but the houses don’t go away. I twist my head around to look as far around us as possible. The crude houses carry on as far as the eye can see. They’re dotted everywhere. Some of the shelters carved into the sides of rock faces, or in caves. Others just material slung over wooden frames.

“What is this place?” I gasp.

“It’s where I grew up,” she says shortly. “Brace yourself. Landings are harder with two people.”

I tense my arms as she brings us closer to the ground. She slips her feet out of the loops from above mine and angles the contraption backward. I can feel the wind’s resistance slowing us, counteracting our forwards momentum. Crystal’s body is tense behind mine as she pulls on the bar in front of us. She seems to know what she’s doing.

“Feet out of the loops,” she commands when we’re just above the ground. I slip my feet out and the flying frame wrenches upright, dropping us to the ground. The jarring vibrates through my bones. I take a couple of lurching steps, forgetting I’m strapped to Crystal. We tumble to the ground in a heap of arms, legs and wooden rods.

“Sorry,” I cough as she removes her elbow from my chest. I do my best to stand, but my legs feel like water. I sink back to the ground. Crystal laughs.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to that.” She crouches down beside me. “Now listen. The others aren’t going to be pleased I brought you here. You’re only allowed to bring back your spouse, technically speaking,” she says. “We are the Ire. A secret sanctuary for those of merged bloodlines. Everyone born here is a mix of Solati and Bruma.” She settles back on her heels to watch as I gape at her. She knows. She knows what I am.

But she said everyone here is mixed. How can that be?

“How long have you known?” I finally ask.

She dusts off her trousers and stands, holding a hand out to me. “I knew as soon as you told me your age. I’ve only ever known people of our height on Glacium to be mixed. Though the women who come in from Osolis, say our height is normal there.” I release my held breath. She doesn’t know my true identity.