Far From Home: The Complete Series (44 page)

It wasn’t quite the same, commanding the
Defiant
without the traditional seat of power from which to issue orders. Not that it was an ego thing.

It just felt right.

The
Defiant
backed away from the station, then Rogers turned her to face away from Krinu. She lumbered under his fingertips, no longer the responsive vessel she’d once been. The
Defiant
was sluggish as she eased away from the planet at one quarter speed.

“She’s hard to turn,” Rogers noted.

“I know. You can expect that. The Chief hasn’t gotten around to that yet, but she will. In the meantime we’ll just have to manage best we can. This is only a tour of the system,” Chang explained. “We shouldn’t have any need for tight manoeuvres.”

“Agreed,” Rogers said.

There were just the two of them and Ensign Beaumont on the bridge.

“Ensign, signal the Krinuans and let them know we are underway. Rogers, you know the flight plan. Don’t deviate from it. I’ll be down in engineering if you need me.”

“Aye.”

* * *

“Captain on the deck!” the Chief called out in mock formality. The other engineering crew present snapped to attention.

“Very funny!” Chang said, her cheeks aglow with embarrassment.

Gunn chuckled. “All right you lot, get back to work. We’ve had our fun.”

“How’re we doing down here?” Chang asked.

Meryl crossed her arms. “It’s gone well so far. Everything’s responding as we want it to. Secondary systems are slowly coming back online. The real test will be whether or not the splints the Krinuans put in place to the
Defiant
’s support structure hold.”

“I see what you mean. Well, we’ll take her steady for the rest of the day. I don’t want to push her too fast. Maybe tomorrow we can try increasing speed, perform some fly-bys of nearby planets. That should test her,” Chang offered.

“Yeah, a good idea. Take it slow. After all, we’re melding Terran and Krinuan engineering here. We don’t know what will happen.”

Chang looked up at the ceiling. “I just hope we can get her back to how she used to be…”

Gunn sighed. “I don’t hold out much hope for that, Commander.”

“Even if she gets us to a new planet. Somewhere we can settle…” Chang said. She caught the Chief’s expression. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be such a defeatist.”

“I’m just surprised to hear someone voice the same thing I’ve been thinking these last few weeks. I mean, look around you,” Gunn said. “We’re holding everything together with Scotch tape and Popsicle sticks. Eventually the
Defiant
will break for good. I, for one, hope we’re not on her when it happens. Maybe the Captain needs to consider finding somewhere for us to live.”

There was a long silence between the two of them as they both contemplated what was being discussed.

“Do you think she’s thinking the same thing?” Chang asked.

The Chief shrugged. “Who knows? If I know the Captain, then it’s probably not far from her mind.”

“We’re so far from home . . . maybe it’s time to find a new one,” Chang said.

“Agreed. But let’s keep this between us,” Gunn said in a low voice. “I don’t need this lot attempting a mutiny and stuffing me down the trash compactor chute as a result.”

It was all Chang could do not to laugh. The thought of Meryl Gunn being overpowered in her own engine room was just too funny to even imagine.

3.

Captain Gerard Nowlan flexed the fingers of his hand and winced. Dr. Clayton had had to cut enough of his fingers away to fit the cybertronic replacements. The new artificial appendages were still tethering themselves to the fine strands of nerves in his hand… and the process of technology joining to organic material hurt like hell.

“How are they?” Clayton asked. He watched as Hawk continued to flex and wiggle his fingers.

“Gettin’ better. Still sore.”

“It will be,” Clayton said. Then with a smile, “But it’ll get better. It all will.”

Hawk nodded. He knew the doctor was talking about more than the loss of half of two fingers. Carn had done a lot more damage than that.

The mental wounds left behind following the General’s torture of him would never heal; they were already in the process of becoming scars. It would never leave him, Hawk knew.

“Thanks doc,” he said.

“Don’t mention it,” Clayton said.

The door to Hawk’s room whispered open and Selena Walker entered in carrying food and drink on a tray.

“So, uh, how come yuh not on the ship?” Hawk asked as he watched Selena set the tray down.

“Thought I’d take the opportunity to get some air myself,” Clayton said. “Nurse Munoz is up there with them, should anyone get an ingrown toenail.”

Hawk laughed despite himself. Clayton smiled and got up.

“I’ll see yuh ‘round,” Hawk said.

“Yeah,” Dr. Clayton said. “See you later. Take care of him Selena.”

“Oh I intend to,” Selena said.

Clayton left and the door slid shut behind him.

Hawk watched Selena fix them both a drink, then turned away. He looked out the window. Krinu was a beautiful, peaceful planet. A green oasis in an alien galaxy.

And yet he’d not once been outside.

He felt Selena’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her and managed to smile.

“You okay?” she asked him.

“Yuh,” Hawk said. “I think.”

She handed him a glass of water.

“It’s okay not to be,” she said.

Hawk shook his head. “Yuh don’t get it. What he did to me…”

He sipped his water. Selena sat next to him, reached out and held his hand. She thoughtfully avoided his two cybernetic fingers.

“I just wanna find him. An’ kill him. Twice he’s got me, twice he’s brought me to the edge of death only to let me live,” Hawk said. “Cause he knows.”

He tapped the side of his temple to indicate the real sore spot Carn had left him with. Selena gave his hand a squeeze.

“Honey…” she said and cuddled up to him. Hawk stared out the window, at the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds of their temporary home. He knew he should feel more displaced than any of them. Not only was he also far from home, just as they were, he was a man out of time. True, the
Defiant
had experienced some temporal displacement from its journey through the black hole. But Hawk had already been from a different time.

He felt totally alone, despite the comfort of having a woman like Selena Walker with him. She’d been a blessing, especially following his most recent trauma.

And yet that was almost entirely the wrong way to describe it. Perhaps it wasn’t trauma at all that filled his heart. No, he thought that maybe it was that other thing. The very impetus that would now see him pursue General Carn to the ends of the universe if he had to. The man – or whatever he was – had to be stopped.

Trauma? No. Anger? Yes.

And more than that. Hawk knew it was pure hatred that weighed his heart down. For all that the General had done. For everything. He would pay.

* * *

“I hope you don’t mind my calling,” Jessica said some hours later. Selena had left a while before to see to something. Gerard had only been sitting on his own deep in thought anyway. As it was, he welcomed a bit of company while Selena was out.

“Not at all. Have a seat,” he said.

“It’s dark in here,” Jessica noted as she sat opposite.

“When it gets dark I like to turn the lights down in here. Helps me appreciate the view,” Hawk said with a nod in the direction of the window. Outside, the stars filled the pollution-free sky of Krinu. Every now and then, a craft would fly across the horizon, but apart from that, a person could gaze at the night sky uninterrupted. Certainly Jessica had never seen the stars so bright back on Earth. Not with the amount of pollution in the atmosphere.

“It is beautiful,” she admitted. “I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I just can’t sleep.”

“I know exactly how you feel,” Hawk said.

“Seems strange. We have a memorial service tomorrow, now that we know exactly who we lost…” Jess said. “And the
Defiant
is up there somewhere. Without me.”

“Chang took her out, ain’t that right?” Hawk asked.

Jessica nodded. “Yes.
Defiant
’s in good hands.”

“Agreed.”

“I hear you’ve not really been out,” Jessica said. “Why is that?”

Nowlan sighed. “I just don’t know. Lack of spirit maybe?” he offered with a wry smirk.

“You know it’s no good for you…”

“Yuh.”

“Since I’ve started having trouble with my legs, I’ve found it helps some to go for a walk now and then. Loosens things up. Also helps de-stress,” Jessica said.

“I know where you’re going with this…”

“And I could use one of those walks right about now,” she said, undeterred.

Hawk watched her get up, with the aid of her stick, and walk to the door. He rolled his eyes and got up to follow.

“I’m not goin’ far,” he said.

“Whatever is good for you, is good for me. We’ll just be two Captains taking a little stroll. One handicapped… and the other, well, the same…” she said, then laughed.

Hawk shook his head. “Yuh…” but he couldn’t help but laugh, too.

“Come on,” Jessica said, suddenly serious. “That’s an order.”

4.

The combined crew of the
Defiant
stood outside, listening to Captain King speak. The sun had slid below the horizon, striking the evening sky with splashes of gold and pink.

A device across her mouth amplified her words so that all assembled men and women could hear.

“I can think of no better evening than this to remember our fallen comrades,” Jessica said. “Such a beautiful, tranquil world. A jewel amongst the stars. It’s in this oasis that we come together as a family, albeit a family in mourning.”

Jessica had several handwritten pages in front of her at the makeshift podium. She turned the first one over, swallowed, then continued.

“It is a pity that not everyone could be here tonight. A small crew have taken the
Defiant
out for a shakedown, but I know they will be remembering the fallen in their own way just as we are now. I admit that I do not know what to say that can make the loss we all feel any less of a burden,” Jessica said. “Whether you’re an Ensign or a Captain, the grief of losing a colleague is a shared pain. But the key word there is shared.”

She paused for effect. To let that sink in. The wind rustled the tall, thin trees around them. Their small green leaves whispered in unison.

“We’ve been through tough times. But we’re still together. Still a family. So let us all remember, tonight, those we’ve lost along the way. Our journey is still ongoing. We carry with us the memory of the fallen. In our heads. Our memories. And in our hearts,” Jessica said. She scanned the crowd, then broke into a salute. Her chest swelled with pride as each and every member of the crew returned the salute. “Tonight we remember.”

* * *

“Sure you want to do this?” Gunn asked her.

Chang read her lips and gave her a thumbs up. Until the airlock was sealed, the Chief would be unable to communicate with the Commander via her comm. unit. There was no way for Lisa Chang to hear her through the transparent steel and glass helmet.

Meryl Gunn stepped back, over the threshold of the airlock. She waved to Chang, who waved back with her free hand. In the other she held a glass bottle.

Gunn closed the door.

Chang heard the comm. unit crackle to life as the seal was made. She knew that the air was being bled from the chamber and the pressure corrected.

“Can you hear me, Commander?”

“Affirmative.”|

“Don’t be too long out there,” Gunn said. “And be careful. I don’t want to end up in charge of this tub. I’ve got my work cut out as it is.”

“Don’t worry Chief. I will be.”

“Lisa . . .” Gunn started to say.

“I know.”

The Chief said nothing more.

Chang turned to the airlock on the other side of the room. The light over the door changed from red to green. She trudged forward, encumbered by the heavy suit, and depressed the manual control switch. The hatch swung open for her, a few stray breaths of air rushing out into space.

Chang stepped out onto the hull of the
Defiant
. The stars seemed to glide past like phosphorescent plankton atop a dark sea. She remembered not to look at them.

Not only could it make someone performing an EVA sick, it could on occasion cause a kind of psychosis. The sheer wonder of the infinity all around you could send your mind into depths from which it might never return.

Chang’s boots stuck to the hull as she walked out several metres. She held the bottle up. Inside there was a letter, and a photo of Olivia Rayne’s parents Chang had found in the recently deceased crewmate’s quarters. She’d folded the photo up and fed it down the neck of the bottle. However, the letter was from her. She’d plugged the bottle with a cork and made sure it was in there extra tight.

“Well, here we go,” she said, aware that she spoke only for herself. She’d switched her helmet comm. off. There was only herself and the stars, and of course, they did not care much for the microscopic concerns of humanity.

“You were my friend. And I loved you,” Chang started to cry, completely unable to wipe her eyes.

She cocked the bottle back over her shoulder, then launched it forward, into the void. It turned end on end. The momentum afforded it from her throw would increase exponentially over time. With nothing within the vacuum to slow the bottle down, it would travel on and on, farther and farther into the cosmos.

It gave the Commander some comfort to think that her message in a bottle would probably endure beyond any of them. The longings of her heart, locked within the bottle, were now a heavenly body on a course with eternity…

* * *

Meryl Gunn filled each shot glass with vodka. She spun the cap back onto the bottle. “Come on. Everyone grab a glass.”

Belcher rallied the others together to join in on the toast. Even the Krinuans, who sniffed the noxious liquid with wrinkled, feline noses.