Far From The Sea We Know (46 page)

“Look at it,” Becka said. “Floating like a
fat matzoh ball in my aunt’s thin soup.”

Penny didn’t reply.

“You okay?” Becka asked.

“I’m fine, just tired. Anything new?”

“The remote EEG is getting nothing.
Surprising. Only this old stethoscope works. Still that unchanging
double heartbeat, assuming that’s what it is, which I’m beginning
to doubt. I have something I’d like to check in the lab. You want
to start now?”

“Go ahead if you’re bored.”

“I’m never bored,” Becka said. “But you look
a little…”

“How’s your lieutenant?”

“He’s not my lieutenant. Sure, we’ve been
spending some time together, so what? I don’t agree with him on
many things, but he has a different load to haul, so I try to see
his perspective. It doesn’t have to be us against him.”

“Against them, you mean. Who he
represents.”

“You know, why don’t you try another routine
besides jab, jab, punch. Find something else. Is it just the
letdown after all the action and not finding…” Becka let the words
trail off. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair.”

Penny didn’t want to say anything but did
anyway. “I suppose I asked for it.”

“We’re too much alike is the problem,” Becka
said. She laughed softly and gestured toward the tank. “You might
have better luck with it if you’d—”

“I don’t expect or want ‘better luck.’ We’ve
missed something important, and I know it’s right there staring at
us.”

“You used to say we had to be patient.”

“This isn’t the same.” Penny glanced at the
mass floating in the tank, light from Becka’s instruments gleaming
off its glassy surface like phantom fireflies. “It’s here for a
reason, and we’re too thick to get it.”

“Great observation.”

“No need to humor me.”

“And no need to play the hard bitch all the
time,” Becka said rising briefly like a cobra, before softening
again. “That was my old job, by the way.”

Penny looked at Becka.

“And I earned the title, believe it to me,”
Becka said laughing at her word mangle then added, “
Like
you
!” She laughed again and half sang, “
Me and my
shadow
…”

The old song was familiar to Penny. Her
mother used to sing it to lull her to sleep, especially during the
summer when the sun “stayed up” so late.

Becka had her eyes closed now and was
singing louder.

“…
and not another soul to tell our
troubles to…”
She stopped. “Two’s a crowd tonight, I see.”

Penny nodded. “No, it was nice to hear, It’s
just I’d like a little time alone.”

Becka put down her clipboard and her hand
came gently to rest on Penny’s shoulder.

Penny didn’t look up, just said, “The lab,
something you had to check, remember?”

Becka gave her a hug. “Too much alike…”

It felt good. Penny surrendered herself to
it.

“You ever need someone to talk to,” Becka
said, “or anything…okay?”

“Sure.”

Becka climbed down and darted away without
another word.

Penny kneeled on the observation platform
and put her hand in the water and swirled it around.

“Why don’t you…”

The pain in her heart was suddenly
stupefying, a sour lump draining all her energy, leaving her
feeling dense and heavy. She hated this feeling more than anything
else. The thing in the tank could be the link to Matthew she was
looking for, but it might as well be made of rubber.

“Hey, if I wanted this kind of excitement, I
could go watch the bilge pumps.” She couldn’t help speaking to it.
“What are you, just another joke?” The sound of her voice grated in
her own ears.

An image of Matthew suddenly came, how he
had looked when she slapped him during their last fight, and how
quickly the anger had fled to leave nothing behind but the two of
them locked in an embrace that submerged their individuality in an
ocean of bliss. Was there any real chance she would ever see him
again? Like crows to road kill, doubts crept closer to her heart.
She let her head fall into her hands and rested on the tank’s
edge.

“Dammit.”

The tears fell one by one into the water,
the drops hitting, feeble ripples circling out to nowhere in the
void of reflected darkness. A few stars mirrored back, dancing
gaily in the wavelets as if to mock her…

I fall into eyes like dark pools in the
deepest cave. Flecks of gold swirl like tiny fish in and out of
space. A voice, a whisper croons softly inside me. Sounds from
before the birth flow into bone and breath and, without thinking,
over the edge, I am Here, the forgotten place, the unremembered
home. Words arrive as harmonies shape, then free of any thought,
pure as the taste of water cupped in a hand, I circle slowly,
carried up in a spiraling gyre, a drifting embrace…

The form floating in the holding tank had
partly opened and half enveloped Penny. Without warning it now
submerged to the bottom of the tank, still holding her. She did not
struggle or resist. There they remained until, after time
uncounted, they floated back up and broke the surface. She let her
breath out, and another fled in. It felt as if the outer part of
the form was melting like hot taffy. Inside was a green translucent
mass held in place by a creamy membrane. Something deep inside it,
like a head, began turning weakly back and forth. Eyes, dark as
night, gazed out but not at her.

“Penny, I need you to pull your head down
and get as far out of the way as you can. Please.”

Elbows resting square against the tank, and
with a grim look on his face, Lieutenant Chiffrey half-kneeled on
the observation platform, gripping a service revolver. It was aimed
directly at the creature within the form.

“No, don’t shoot!” she could only whisper,
her voice somehow gone.

Others were running up and a few climbed
onto the observation platform, including Andrew, who slowly raised
a hand to rest on top of Chiffrey’s weapon. Though there was now a
slight tremor in his hands, Chiffrey kept the gun pointed.

Penny had come free from the formless mass,
but remained in front to shield it from Chiffrey as best she could.
She turned as the membrane suddenly split down the middle, and dark
undulating folds within began to move apart until a thick jelly,
green as chlorophyll, flowed around and over it, seemingly with a
life of its own. Her dream came back to her, the terrible thing
coming out of the sea, and she was afraid, but nonetheless brought
her arm up toward it. Instantly a hand sprang out and grasped hers
and Matthew Amati, naked, alive, and without a hair on his body,
stepped out into the warm midsummer night air.

Matthew’s lungs filled as if he was taking
his first breath. Penny swam to him and he fell into her arms. No
one said a word. It was as quiet as it could ever get on a ship at
sea.

She turned and saw the crew’s faces, each
lit up with a strange mix of horror and happiness. All but
Andrew’s. He didn’t look surprised at all, and he was the only one
who spoke. “The sea doesn’t often give back what she takes.”

“I need a moment with Matthew,” she said to
everyone. “Please.”

Yet no one moved, and there was no answer
until Chiffrey, who like the others had been stunned into silence,
said, “What the damn hell just happened?” He brought up his free
hand and ran it through his hair a few times as if to comb out the
answer out.

Andrew turned to address everyone.

“Give them their moment,” He glanced at
Chiffrey and said, “Let’s go.” Then he stepped down from the
platform and walked away, setting the example, and the rest soon
followed. Drifting off in different directions, they all looked
back at least once, except Chiffrey. He left last, staring straight
ahead.

About a half hour later, Becka appeared on
the observation platform of the tank with some blankets. “I thought
you might be cold. If there is anything…”

“You can get the others now. Leave the
blankets. Thanks.”

With a long glance at them, Becka nodded and
left. Penny and Matthew were still in the tank. He was looking
around as if seeing everything for the first time, especially the
stars above them. He gazed up, completely transfixed, and then
suddenly looked back at her.

“I’m not leaving,” she said, just mouthing
the words, knowing he would understand. He pointed to the blankets
and, even though they were still in the water, she draped the
largest one around his head and shoulders. It was dark gray, and he
gathered it around himself like a shroud.

In twos and threes, the others were
returning. Chiffrey, satphone in hand, went up on the observation
platform, while most of the others simply gathered around the rim
of the tank, where they could just see in. Becka, kneeling next to
Chiffrey on the platform, had brought some bottles of water.
Matthew smiled and took one, drinking it down as if he would never
see another.

“Good to have you back,” Chiffrey said, as
he cautiously lowered himself onto one knee. “You got one hell of a
haircut. Not a hair left, and not a good look for you really.”
Matthew didn’t say anything and Chiffrey’s reliable smile was
failing when he began again. “Ah, sorry about the gun, didn’t know
it was you. It is you, right?” He looked around the tank. “What
happened to the…whatever it was you were in. Damn it, I just don’t
see how you could be inside that thing and still…” His face
suddenly went as white as a peeled egg.

Though he was staring at something behind
Penny, the body has its own perceptions and the hairs on the back
of her neck began tingling. Everyone was suddenly facing west, but
not so much to see what was there as
being seen
by what was
there. Even before she turned, she knew. It was holding itself
upright amongst the swells, motionless and now as white as carved
ivory. She had no doubt. It was Matthew’s whale.

As she peered into the one eye facing them,
it was as if she were looking back in some impossible way upon
herself. All secrets seemed sundered forever and time collapsed in
defeat. Then words came, at first only faintly, but the voice from
the whale got louder and louder, both inside and outside, and her
heart began to sync with some unheard rhythm. Suddenly, a surge of
power from the whale brought her into the absolute present and the
force of its voice pushed her back like an enormous hand.

“MOOOVVVE AWAAAYYYYYY!”

The whale slid back under the surface and
was gone. All the gulls and seabirds that had been following them
for days exploded as one out of the dark water. They took to the
skies, all flying east under the light of the rising moon, every
feather as distinct as the fingers of the hand she held out to
them. The sea began to luminesce, whether from phosphorescent
plankton or something else bubbling up from below she could not
say. In every direction it extended, so bright the deck lights were
soon outshone.

Emory yelled down from the bridge.

“Captain! We got it on the scope again. The
dome. It’s moving!”

“Which way?”

“Up! Right under us!”

Andrew came to life and vaulted up the steps
to the bridge, shouting. “All ahead full! Follow the birds!” He
half-turned on the steps toward those on deck. “Emergency stations!
Now!” The spell broken, everyone scattered, even Chiffrey.

Penny remained with Matthew in the holding
tank. Wavelets arising from the
Valentina
’s sudden
acceleration lapped against the metal tank as if upon the shores of
a tiny sea. Matthew floated upright in the middle, almost unmoving,
as time again expanded and stretched out in every instant until all
the action on the ship had receded into a far and distant fury. In
that moment, she dropped into his arms as if into a waiting net,
eager to be caught.

“I must…go,” he said.

“I know.”

A tear distinguished itself from the water
on his face and slid down his cheek. He closed his lashless eyes
and strained to find a way to speak. “You brought me back, and now
to begin…I must go. There will be…a return to…”

“Yes, yes, I know, I really do, but don’t
let me forget!”

After an embrace that seemed to last
forever, he let his arms fall to his side and simply stepped back.
It was as if he became a door that opened briefly.

“Matthew, wait!” she couldn’t help crying at
the last instant as that door began to close in upon itself.

His eyes, now burning like molten gold
looked back. She held out her hand as the space in front of her
began to dance with a hue unbound by the limits of light and could
only watch as he slipped away to a sea we do not know.

By the time Andrew reached the bridge, the
engines had already rumbled up to peak speed. Penny climbed out of
the tank and looked back to see the waters behind them roiled into
a raging froth by the propellers as they pulled away. Soon the sea
in the area they had just left began to mound up as if some new
continent was rising from its depths. Water roared down from the
top of the emerging dome like a hundred Niagaras. As waves like
rolling mountains surged toward them, Andrew brought the
Valentina
around to meet them head on. She knew why. They’d
pitchpole if they tried to outrun them.

Chiffrey was half-crawling his way to the
foredeck, satphone still in hand. Everyone else was clinging to
whatever was nearest. In silent awe, they rode to the peak of the
first wave as if in the hand of a god, then dropped like a high
diver in slow motion. It felt like they might just plow through the
sea below them, but they were soon carried up the next crest like a
child in a swing, their weight first increasing with the
acceleration, then almost disappearing as they fell again into the
trough.