Fast Connection (Cyberlove #2) (13 page)

Dominic nodded, his jaw set and expression grim. “Is that why you have all these rules about keeping things separate?”

“Yeah.”

“But you broke some for me,” he said.

“I did.”

“Do you regret doing it?”

“No.”

“So—”

“My life is simple,” I said sharply. “I don’t want a boyfriend bringing me lunch while I’m on a job, because I don’t want to deal with clients being dramatic about it. I don’t want to hold hands at fucking high school events and hear people’s homophobic crap. I don’t mix up boxes anymore. You were in one and my family was in another.”

“I never asked to meet your kids. Never even hinted at it.”

“I know that. When I walked in the deli, and I saw you there… things mixed. I lost my mind.” I blew out a breath. “You have to know I was wrecked. I didn’t respond to you because I didn’t know what to fucking say and my first reflex was to entirely back off. But
that,
that I did regret.”

“I see.” Dominic rocked back on his heels, restless as he churned this around in his mind. “So you want to do what we’ve been doing.”

“Yeah. No mixing things.”

“We meet up and we bang.”

I gave him a look. “We talk too.”

His lips pulled to the side in a skeptical, smartass grimace.

“Okay, we
can
talk. I’d like to talk. Like… the way friends do.”

Now that wise-guy expression was reaching maximum intensity. “You wanna be friends?”

“What? Friends talk about jobs. We did that.”

“True. And you’re the only person who’s encouraging, so…” He shrugged and looked away.

I couldn’t tell what was bothering him, and pings of worry bounced around inside me. What if my explanation wasn’t enough?

“I’m sorry for icing you out, Dominic. Our time together was as good for me as it was for you. I haven’t had… someone to hang out with in a long time. I just thought I was doing the right thing. But I get it if you don’t want to deal with this. You deserve someone who’s going to—”

Dominic scoffed. “Don’t do that ‘you deserve…’ bullshit. I’m twenty-seven, I’m not out, I work at a deli, and live in my parents’ basement. I’ll decide what I deserve.”

I snorted, and it turned into a booming laugh. Dominic stared at me like I’d grown another head.

“Dude, what was that sound?”

I scowled. “Why does everyone have to act like it’s the coming of Christ when I laugh?”

“Maybe because that’s about how often you do it.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

Dominic

I sat at the table in Luke’s kitchen and couldn’t help taking a closer look around. Our previous encounters had always been carefully planned, and he’d tried hard to erase all traces of his real life from the house. There had been slipups here and there, but other than the hoodie and his daughter’s running shoes, the place had been spotless.

Now, I saw signs of life.

A stack of dirty dishes. Another hoodie tossed over the back of another chair. A silver Yeti cup with Michelle’s name stenciled on in yellow cursive. There was also a huge stack of paper sitting on the counter that looked like a monstrous review packet for a history class.

“Is that the kind of work your kids get?” I asked, pointing at the packet. “Adriana doesn’t get that much and still cons me into doing parts of her homework.”

Luke didn’t answer for a moment, and I wondered if I’d pushed too fast too soon. The guy had barely been able to reconcile the fact that I was vaguely acquainted with his children and now I was chatting about homework.

“Never mind. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Luke jerked a large Tupperware container from the refrigerator. “Michelle did it for Micah, and I told her to erase all the answers. He has the entire week. He can do it himself.”

“Now I feel like a sucker for doing Adriana’s stuff.”

“You are a sucker.” Luke’s mouth twitched. “In more ways than one.”

“Shut up.”

I propped my elbows up on the table and watched, mystified, as he heated up something that smelled fucking miraculous. And not like pasta. Living with my family had ruined bagels
and
pasta for me. It was a sin.

“What you cookin’?”

“Beef stew.”

“You made it?”

“Yes. Who else would make it?” Luke sighed. “And stop with the coy shit. You know I’m heating it up for you. Getting off makes you ravenous.”

I grinned.

Luke rolled his eyes and stood there staring at the microwave as if his laser glare could cause the food to warm faster. Despite his comment about us having conversations, the kitchen was dead silent. My bravado faded, and I crossed my arms over my chest.

Sitting at his table, wearing his clothes, and waiting to be fed was starting to make me feel like an intruder. It was weird how hot and cold our interactions were, but I would take it over complete radio silence any day.

“I’m not usually so fucking emo, Luke. Seriously. Me dramatically popping up is not a thing I plan to make a habit of.”

“Just when someone doesn’t respond to your messages?”

“No.” I frowned. “Well, yeah, but there’s circumstances that led to me getting so worked up.”

The microwave beeped. Luke pulled it open and dished stew into a large bowl. The smell made my stomach grumble loudly. It would have been funny if I’d been at home, but now I was aware of how domestic this was and overly paranoid that Luke was going to get cagey.

Fuck.

I’d never overanalyzed things before, and now I was reading into everything. I’d only known Luke for a few weeks, and I was already desperate to cling to the surprisingly bright spot he shone into my dreary world.

Luke tapped my temple after setting the bowl in front of me. “Stop worrying and eat.”

“How do you know I’m worrying?”

“Because your entire body is tense.” Luke sat at the table across from me. His knees brushed mine. “What’s going on with you, Dominic?”

I started to answer but was distracted by the explosion of flavor in my mouth. “Oh God.”

“I see your moaning isn’t just loud when you’re being fucked.”

“Nah. I’m also a total whore for food.” I licked my lips and slumped in the chair. “There’s something about a home-cooked meal that really does it for me, man. When I was a kid, I loved Sunday dinners with the fam.”

“Not anymore?”

“Nope.”

Luke laced his fingers together, elbows propped on the table, and braced them under his chin. “Tell me why.”

“My dad’s a fucking asshole?” I took another large bite, but the taste was lost to the thoughts of my family. “He has all of these expectations of me and Adriana and thinks screaming and cursing us out is the way to get it done.”

“What does he want from you?”

“To be like every other Staten Island good ole boy, you know? Be a cop. Or a firefighter. Be someone people want to salute and call a hero. Get my name put on a street sign when I die. Not just be a former vet who partook in a conflict he didn’t take seriously.” Now
that
got Luke’s back up, so I rushed to explain. “My pops thinks we never shoulda been in the Middle East this long. No offense, but I agree. I really do. But I respected the men I served with because we didn’t have a choice in where we were sent. My pops thinks I just kicked it on a FOB and jacked it to porn on each deployment.”

Luke’s lip curled. “He doesn’t know shit. You were in action. It’s not a movie. Real lives were lost.”

“They were. And by my hand.” I scooped up another spoonful. “Which is one of the reasons why I won’t be a cop. My gun-carrying days are over. The thought of it gives me nightmares.”

If Luke was judging me for it, I saw no sign of it. He just watched me closely.

“What about your fist-fighting days?”

“Those might take longer. I’m quick to get rowdy. Even though I always feel guilty afterwards.”

Luke’s mouth quirked at that. “So, what happened to your face?”

“Got drunk. Hung out with my old douchebag friends. Inevitably got into it with one of them. I don’t remember the details, though.”

“Okay. I buy that. But why’d you get drunk?”

Oh great. He had my number.

“Because…”

“Was it because of me?” He straightened with his arms crossed over his chest, trying to appear unaffected, even as his face filled with concern. He was studying me like he was looking for further damage.

His concern was nice, but I wished it wasn’t over something stupid like a drunken brawl. “Sorta.”

Luke dropped his hands. “Just tell me, Dominic.”

“Look, it’s like this. Right now my life is a disaster, and you’re the only thing I have to look forward to. When you were gone, I tried to find something else.” I smiled wanly. “No pressure or anything.”

To my surprise, Luke just flashed me one of his rare smiles. “You’re not the only one who missed the time we spent together. And don’t worry about the pressure, kid. I can handle it.”

I screenshotted the two less hideous ones and sent them.