F*ck Feelings (48 page)

communicating with,
255

criticism from,
260

development of,
248
,
268

of divorce,
23
,
276
–83

expectations for,
258
–59

and fairness,
89

handicapped,
250
,
252

healthy,
249

as jerks,
261
–68

names for,
248

spouses of,
259
–60

tantrums of,
261
,
270

child's self-esteem,
68
–75

dealing with,
71
–73

examples,
70
–71

quick diagnosis,
73
–74

and teachers,
72

and teasing,
71

your lack of power over,
70

your script,
74

choosing your battles,
60

Chopra, Deepak,
7

chronic penis farts,
101

Churchill, Winston,
57

civil rights battles,
235

clearing your name,
95
–102

closeness,
216
–23

examples,
218
–19

quick diagnosis,
221
–22

your script,
222

closure,
77
,
84
–89

see also
justice/closure

clusterfuck,
146
–47

Coen brothers,
143

cold turkey,
334

commitment,
185
–91

as a business,
189

examples,
186
–87

marriage,
186
–87,
201
,
203

nonverbal,
222

quick diagnosis,
190

tests for,
191

your script,
191

communication,
215
–45

airing trauma,
223
–31

with asshole,
303

best and worst means for,
243
–44

with children,
255

on deaf ears,
238

life-changing conversation,
237
–45

no-nos,
222
–23

nurturing closeness,
216
–23

only what's necessary,
290

positive,
235

purposes of,
215

too much,
217
,
226
,
320

vending anger,
231
–37

companionship,
48
,
219

competition,
67
–68,
208

compromise,
9
,
196

confidence,
45
,
46
,
47
,
48
–49,
55
,
62

confrontation, avoiding,
57
,
84
–85,
239

coupons,
296

courage,
235
,
330

cover-ups,
27

crankiness,
320

crazy person, dealing with,
154
–55,
213
–14,
285

criminal behavior,
255

Crisco intake,
15

crisis responders,
345

criticism:

constructive,
240
–41

outrageous,
260

CrossFit,
254

Cruise, Tom,
337

Cubs, World Series win!,
105

cutting someone out of your life,
174
–75

Cyrus, Miley,
10

Darwinian survival,
27

Darwin's theory,
8

DBT (dialectical behavior therapy),
87
,
333

death:

dealing with,
106

fear of,
158
,
159

decision, poor,
237

dementia,
113

denial,
2
,
9
,
35
,
120
,
234

deodorant,
142

depression,
50

arising from child abuse,
85
,
225

attempts to cheer up sufferer from,
116
–17

and grief,
162
–63

postpartum,
194

and sadness,
156

in teenagers,
112
,
258

and trauma,
226
–27

and treatment,
316
–17,
318
–19,
333
,
340
–46

treatment for,
325
,
326
,
337

designated driver,
64

detachment,
311

detox,
34

dickishness,
21
,
38

Didion, Joan,
80

diet,
337

different worldviews,
102

disability:

dealing with,
64
–66,
252
–53

examples,
64

hiding,
64
–65

overcoming stigma of,
62
–68

quick diagnosis,
66
–67

signs that it's too much for you,
63

Special Olympics,
67
–68

treatment for,
63
,
65
,
66

and vulnerability,
62
–63

your script,
67

disorganization,
26
,
28

distancing,
99

distractedness,
27

diversity, genetic,
8

divorce,
104
–5,
131
,
185

and alcohol use,
165

alimony,
172

and assholes,
299

examples,
45
,
278
–79

and letting go,
164
,
168

and parenting,
276
–83

and slander,
98
,
99
,
170

and visitation rights,
280
–81

your script,
283

documentation,
98
,
302
,
311

dog, as companion,
48
,
181

dog whistles,
152

doing good,
137

domino theory,
69

downtrodden, raising,
135
–41,
306

drama queen,
240
,
292
–93

dreams, unattainable,
76

drugs, carrying,
305
–6

due diligence,
54
,
138
,
139
,
188
,
190
,
289
,
306
,
307

dysfunctional behaviors,
8
,
28
,
52
,
65

eating disorders,
9
,
72
–73

emoji, turd-based,
243

enemies,
168
–76

avoid centering your life on,
99

examples,
170
–71

exes as,
172

getting even with,
172

quick diagnosis,
173
–74

your script,
172
,
174

yourself as enemy number one,
27
,
45

Ephron, Nora,
101

erectile dysfunction,
271

ESE (excessive self-esteem),
49
,
68

evangelists,
251
–52

exercise,
337

exorcism,
286

expectations,
1
–2,
4
,
9
,
27
,
30
,
258
–59,
315
,
318
,
320
,
330

expertise,
53

facial topiary,
49

failure, cycle of,
30

fairness,
76
–108

children's argument for,
89

clearing your name,
95
–102

closure after childhood abuse,
84
–89

differing ideas of,
90

getting a square deal,
89
–95

getting justice/closure,
102
–8

life is unfair,
32
–33,
59
,
90
,
178

right to live in safety,
77
–84

in winning and losing,
68

faith,
164

restoring,
103
,
108

Family Feud,
338

fantasy world,
76

fashion choices, poor,
49

fear:

examples,
157
–58

facing,
155
–62

of fear itself,
160

freedom from,
77
–84

as primal defense,
142

quick diagnosis,
161

random,
155
–56

social,
160

talking about,
223

your script,
162

feedback, inviting,
24

fence mending,
92

fetus, healthy,
249

fighting the loser's curse,
43
–49

finding someone,
178
–85

examples,
180

quick diagnosis,
182
–83

your script,
183
–84

Finnegan, Candy,
118

Firefly,
294

flake, becoming,
318

Florida,
77
,
78

focus,
26
,
31
,
106
,
179

on the good times,
102
,
106

on yourself,
39
,
181
,
206

Frank, Anne,
191

Freud, Sigmund,
328

friends:

overcritical,
132

slander by,
299

supportive,
333

taking sides,
170
–71,
172
–73

frustration,
202
,
203

Game of Thrones,
26

Gandalf,
315

gas, intestinal,
234

genetic diversity,
8

getting stuff done,
28

getting sucked in,
286

getting to the root of the problem,
15
–20

as antitherapeutic,
16

examples,
17

as making things worse,
16

management of,
17
–18

quick diagnosis,
19
–20

in therapy,
see
therapy; treatment

as waste of time,
16

your script,
20

Ghost of Christmas Past,
268

giving:

can't stop,
36
–37,
195

charitable,
135
–41

goals:

achievable,
40

concrete,
47
,
315

defining,
1
–5,
132

positive,
282

realistic,
47
,
330

Godzilla,
129

Gollum,
184

good times, remembering,
102
,
106

grandparents,
293

grief, moving beyond,
105
,
107
,
162
–68

grievances,
133
,
282

grouches, chronic,
21

grudges,
171

grumpiness,
319
–20

Guantánamo,
149

guilt,
113
,
116

guru,
201
,
216

guts,
289

habits, bad, control over,
8
,
228

Hail Mary,
338

hair picking,
9

hamster, loss of,
316

handicap,
see
disability

happiness,
37

hard times,
289

harm, unintended,
139

harmony,
276

Hasselhoff, and videos,
36

hate management,
146
–48

hazmat suits,
68

health,
37

health foods,
337

heartache,
162
–68

examples,
164
–65

quick diagnosis,
167
–68,
211
–12

recovering from,
164
,
165
–67

your script,
168
,
212

hellfire,
287

helmets,
68

helpfulness,
109
–41

brokering peace at home,
129
–35

for downtrodden,
135
–41,
306

easing others' sorrow,
110
–17

potential to do harm,
110

protecting victims of injustice,
124
–29

rescuing the addicted,
117
–24

saving Assholes from themselves,
303
–8

helplessness,
12
,
77
,
340

heroin,
109

heroism,
81

Hicks, Bill,
247

high fives,
320

high school counselor,
126

hit man, search for,
22
,
94
,
285

hitting bottom,
33

Hoarders,
123

hoarding,
9

hog racing,
147

Holy Grail,
16
,
127

homosexuality,
199

honesty,
27
,
292