F*ck Feelings (50 page)

managing,
19

permanent,
33

unsolvable,
16
–17,
18
,
72

problem solving,
244
–45,
315
–16

procastination,
9
,
26

profanity, as source of comfort,
4

protests, political,
58

psychoanalysis,
328

psychopaths,
285

psychosis,
213

PTSD,
81
,
85
,
119
,
158
,
159
,
225
,
227

puppets, giant,
58

quest, ending,
16
,
18

racism,
233
,
235
,
308

rage, acts of,
78

rattlesnakes,
284

reconciliation, impossibility of,
169

Red Sox,
129

rehab,
117
,
119
,
124

rejection,
167
,
174
,
213

relationships:

abusive,
239
,
240

with Assholes,
288
–89,
321

being dumped,
70
–71,
101

commitment in,
185
–91

and communication,
216
,
218
–29

competitive,
208

cost-benefit analysis of,
196

criteria for,
101

end of,
167
,
195
,
207
,
211
–12,
244

and family disapproval,
126

former boyfriend,
201

with husband,
233

with in-laws,
151
,
152
,
155
,
257

involvement required in,
138

love,
see
love; love-hate

making the most of,
217

new,
210

no hope of,
46
–47

with parents,
92
,
97
–98,
113
,
232
–33,
234

and sex,
see
sex

with siblings,
102
,
170
,
171
–72,
310

unsafe,
80
–81

warning signs of,
209

wrong kind of guys,
17

with your kids,
99
,
256
–57

your script,
198
,
212

reliability,
27

R.E.M.,
318

rescuing others,
117
–24,
254

examples,
52
,
119
–20,
193
–94

quick diagnosis,
122
,
197

your script,
123

residential rehabilitation,
36

responsibility:

accepting,
27
,
74
–75,
283

limiting,
71

for others,
241

restraining orders,
97

retaliation,
56

risk, exposure to,
81

risk assessment,
126
–27,
128
,
141
,
240
–41,
248
,
251
–52,
267
,
306

Robbins, Tony,
42

Rogers, Mister,
224

“Rogers's Condensed Principle,”
241

Roosevelt, Teddy, big stick of,
147

Rothenberg, Daniel,
137

rules, setting,
280
,
294

rumors, false,
169

RuPaul,
42
,
44

safety,
37
,
77
–84,
88

examples,
79
–80

illusion of,
80

quick diagnosis,
82

right to,
77
–79

unsafe relationships,
80
–81

your script,
82
–83

saintliness,
296
–97,
303

St. Swithin's Day,
67

sales, language of,
237
–38

sanctions, imposing,
132
–33

sanity,
98

satisfaction, impossible to give,
114

savior,
209

saying no,
140
–41,
193
,
194
–95,
205
–6

scatty thinking,
27

Scientology (nope, no grounds for a lawsuit here),
337

security, right to,
78

self-absorption,
39
,
181
,
206

self-abuse,
34

self-acknowledged fuckup status,
30

self-admiration,
49

self-assessment,
12
,
27

self-auditing,
37

self-belief,
50

self-blame,
12
,
29
,
51
,
78

self-centeredness,
50

self-confidence,
45
,
46
,
47
,
48
–49,
55
,
62

self-control,
38
,
71
,
98

self-criticism,
33
,
49
,
50

self-cure,
32
–40

self-destructiveness,
40
,
50
,
65
,
84
,
111
,
135
,
225
,
239
,
333
,
340
–41

self-disappointment,
65

self-doubt,
42
,
49
,
50
–52,
96
,
168
–69,
333

self-endangerment,
77

self-enemy number one,
27
,
45

self-esteem,
41
–75,
141

as dangerous drug,
41

ESE (excessive self-esteem),
49
,
68

fighting the loser's curse,
43
–49

good vs. bad things as base of,
55

low,
44
,
49

overcoming stigma of disability,
62
–68

overvaluing,
41
–42

standing up to bullies,
55
–62

using power of persuasion,
50
–55

your children's,
68
–75

self-hatred,
68
–69

self-help,
14
–15,
118

self-hypnosis,
50
,
159

self-improvement,
7
–40

addiction self-cure,
32
–40

bad wiring as cause of,
8

becoming more positive,
20
–25

diminishing returns of,
7
–8

getting to the root of the problem,
15
–20

limits of,
9

management of,
12

overrated joys of,
8

stop fucking up,
26
–32

taking back control,
10
–15

urge for,
40

self-inventory,
43

self-love,
42
,
43
–44,
206

Self
magazine,
143

self-observation,
320

self-protection,
81
,
290
,
307
,
343

self-punishment,
24

self-rescue,
122

self-respect,
12
,
30
,
65
–66,
200

self-sabotage,
8

self-worth,
43
,
46

serenity,
142
–76

accepting annoyances,
149
–55

accepting enmity,
168
–76

facing fear,
155
–62

healing heartache,
162
–68

letting go,
176

stop hating your loved ones,
143
–49

Serenity Prayer,
36
,
143

sex:

casual hookups,
204
–5

earth-moving,
204

examples,
201

healthy,
198
–206

as hunger,
203
,
204

influence of,
199

quick diagnosis,
204
–5

saying no,
205
–6

unprotected,
72

your script,
205

sex drive,
201
,
202

sex therapy,
202
,
204

sexting,
210

sexual abuse,
64

shame,
34

shape up or ship out,
93

Sheindlin, Judith (Judge Judy),
20
,
83
–84

shit happens,
15
,
32
–33,
105
,
108

shit sandwiches,
347
–48

shit storm,
301

shoplifting,
263

siblings,
102
,
170
,
171
–72,
310

silence,
218
,
220
,
222
,
235

Skywalker, Luke,
50

slacker,
27

slander,
95
–102,
297
–99

defense against,
308

online,
98

slow fade,
175

smiles, causing,
110
–11,
115

snowflakes,
40
,
287

sob story,
124
–25,
140

social impairment,
230
–31

social work, dark side of,
140
–41

soldiering on,
46

Sopranos, The,
39

soundproofing,
150

Special Olympics,
67
–68

Spinal Tap,
231

spin class,
286

spirituality,
37
,
66

spouse abuse,
239
,
254
,
330

square deal, getting,
89
–95

differing opinions about,
92
–93

examples,
91
–92

going on strike,
90

quick diagnosis,
93
–94

quiz,
95

what you deserve,
91

your script,
94

standards, too high,
43

standing up to bullies,
55
–62

avoiding confrontation,
57

examples,
57
–58

management of,
58
–60,
71

quick diagnosis,
60
–61

your script,
61

Starbucks,
152

stop fucking up,
26
–32

examples,
28
–29

management of,
29
–30

quick diagnosis,
31

signs that you have a problem,
28

your script,
32

storytelling,
80

stress,
142
–43,
223
,
317

of parenthood,
247

and sex drive,
199

subcapacities,
18

substance abuse,
34

success, redefining,
23
,
30

suck it up,
3
,
32
–33,
78
,
309

suffering, easing,
111

suicide, threats of,
113

Superman,
104

survival,
59

swirlies,
55

talents, developing,
44

tantrums,
261
,
270

tattoos,
246
–47,
308

tea bags,
58

teasing,
71

teenagers,
see
adolescents

telenovela,
286

therapy:

after child abuse,
86
–87

all-day,
36

analytic analysis,
328

anger,
254

for Asshole dealing,
286
,
342

basic types,
323
–29

cognitive/behavioral,
87
,
159
–60,
325
–26,
333

“come to Jesus,”
286

couples,
206
,
216
,
233
,
317
,
320
,
327

electroconvulsive therapy,
326

endless,
315

family,
148
–49

making things worse with,
16
,
113

primal scream,
329

psychoanalysis,
328

sex,
202
,
204

shrinks discussing their patients,
39
–40

talk,
229
,
234
,
315
,
319
,
324
,
328
,
338
–39

TMS,
327

usefulness of,
156
,
329

useless,
20

see also
treatment

thyroid deficiency,
202

Tickle Me Elmo,
117

“time heals all wounds,”
164

time machine,
206

toilet goblin,
246

torture,
149

trauma:

aftereffects of,
156
,
196

airing,
223
–31

childhood,
226

examples,
225
–26