Fever Pitch (17 page)

Giles was going to make a comment about the Dark Ages, but Aaron's fingers closed over his, and Giles forgot to breathe.

With the din of voices and clanking plates in their ears, they stared at each other. Aaron looked terrified, but hopeful.

Giles felt…crazy.

That night as they set up for Salvo at a venue a few skywalks over from the State Theater, everything felt intimate. When their bodies brushed, Giles felt a spark. When their gazes met, Giles forgot his own name.

I have to kiss him this time. I have to.

He started to believe if he didn't, Aaron would.

Tonight the whirl of performing didn't abate his euphoria, every moment and glance heightening both his excitement and his arousal. By the time Aaron joined the Ambassadors and Giles got ready for his quartet, Giles was hard. He calmed down while he played, but when he retired to the wings and Aaron sang, he was up to almost full mast.

It was hours until the bus ride home. Tonight was the last night before break. If something else interrupted them, he'd have no other chance.

I have to tell him now.
The thought burned in Giles's brain as Aaron hit the final note and the Ambassadors took their bow.

As they exited, Giles saw Baz's hand linger on Aaron's back, inspiring white-hot waves of jealousy.

Seriously. I have to tell him right now.

Wild-eyed and high from singing, Aaron crossed to Giles and jerked his head toward the exit with a grin. “Ready for the skywalk dash to Salvo's venue?”

Kiss him. Tell him how you feel. Something, anything. Right now.
“Sure.”

Aaron started for the door, but when Giles didn't hurry after, he came back to snag his hand. “Seriously, we have ten minutes, tops.”

Giles felt so out-of-body he could barely move.
Tell him now, tell him now, tell him right now.

In the middle of the skywalk, he lost it. The scent of Aaron, the warmth of his hand, the light in his eye—it was too much. All Giles's feelings churned inside him like a storm he couldn't control. All he could think about was how much he wanted Aaron. Not just to have sex with him—to
have
him, be with him.

Shaking, he tripped, losing Aaron's hand, almost dropping his violin.

Aaron stopped running. “Are you okay?”

No, he wasn't. Giles's chest felt tight, his head spun, and he had to let Henrietta clatter to the floor so he could grip the glass wall.

“Giles?” Aaron put his hands on Giles's arm, his shoulder, his face full of concern. “What's wrong?”

Drowning. I'm drowning.
“I can't,” he whispered.

Aaron's grip tightened. “Are you sick? Do you need me to call 911?”

Giles tried to say no, but his whole body trembled, and the shake of his head probably just looked like a spasm.

He had to tell him. He couldn't be scared anymore. He
had to tell him
.

“Giles.”

Giles opened his eyes, saw Aaron staring at him—and his heart leaped.

“Aaron—Aaron, I—love you.”

He stopped shaking, too terrified by what had fallen out of his mouth to move.

Aaron stared back at him, equally frozen.

Mina's sobs of rejection echoed in his ears, and Giles felt tears spring to his eyes.
Please—please.

Aaron kept staring. Giles died, seconds at a time. Surrendering to fear, to inevitable pain, he shut his eyes and waited for the fall.

Soft lips pressed to his own.

Giles's eyes flew open—Aaron's face was right in front of him. Eyes wide open. Full of terror—and hope.

With a shudder, Giles shut his eyes once more—and surrendered to the kiss he'd been dreaming of for six months.

Giles gave Aaron the soft, sweet kiss he'd wanted to give in the car outside Aaron's house. The one where he tilted his head to the side and caught Aaron's lip gently, shyly with his teeth. The one where he didn't grind his cock against Aaron but put a tentative hand on his hip.

The one where he sighed, where his whole chest peeled open and his heart whispered,
I really like you, Aaron, and I want you to stay.

The one where, when Aaron kissed him back, his heart soared up all the way to the sky.

Aaron melted into him, leaning against the glass of the skywalk so bonelessly Giles had to press him to it to keep him upright. Blood rushed like fire through Giles's veins as he took Aaron's face in his hands and kissed him deeper.

I love you, I love you, I love you,
he said over and over, without saying a single word.

When the door to the skywalk opened, the sound cracking like a gunshot, they broke apart, but only just.

“Guys, we're—” Jilly stopped in midsentence as Giles dizzily met her gaze, Aaron still in his arms. “Oh.”

Aaron sagged, his hands tight on Giles's waist.

Shuddering with pleasure that rang to his bones, Giles brushed a kiss across the top of Aaron's head. “We'll be right there.”

Jilly lingered. “Okay—so you know, there's dead silence right now while they wait for us to take the stage.”

Stifling a groan of disappointment, Giles brushed a last kiss across Aaron's cheek as he bent to pick up Henrietta. “After. We'll talk after.”

Aaron took hold of his hand.

They ran together the rest of the way over the bridge. But this time Giles's chest wasn't tight at all. In fact, if he jumped through the glass right now, he was pretty damn sure he could fly.

Giles loves me.

Aaron went through the second half of the dinner performances in a dream, glad he knew his synth parts well enough to go on autopilot. His brain refused to function, would only relive that moment on the sky bridge over and over and over. When Giles had looked him right in the eye, naked and tortured and vulnerable, and said,
Aaron, I love you.
And kissed him.

Soft, spicy lips closing over his, strong, delicate hands cradling his face.

Aaron skipped a note, startled and yanked himself into focus.

Walter and Kelly were at this dinner—they sat in the front row, waving at Aaron as he entered. The performers were encouraged to mingle for a few minutes after their last performance, and so of course Aaron went up to their table after, but he felt like he drifted over on a cloud. He could barely see where he walked, too busy watching Giles packing up the double bass.

Walter drew Aaron into a hug. “You were
great
. I love the girl group. That's your arrangement, right?” Walter glanced around. “Where's Giles? I want to finally meet this guy.”

“Walter.” This warning tone came from Kelly, who watched Aaron carefully. “Aaron, hon, are you okay?”

Finished with the bass, Giles searched the room. When he saw Aaron, he smiled, his expression a soft echo of the moment on the sky bridge. As Giles came over to their table, Aaron felt as if the world was underwater. When Giles arrived, Aaron introduced him.

“Walter, Kelly—this is my…Giles.”

Walter stuck out a hand. “Pleased to meet you. Walter Lucas. This is my fiancé, Kelly Davidson.”

Giles shook their hands. “Good to meet you.”

Walter chatted Giles up, asking him the usual questions—where he was from, what he majored in. Through it all Aaron tried not to stare.

Giles kissed me and told me he loved me. Giles kissed me and told me he loved me.

Kelly pulled Aaron down beside him and whispered in his ear. “Do you need a doctor?”

Aaron shut his eyes and pressed his lips almost up to Kelly's ear. “Giles…kissed me. Just now. Before the—now.”

And told me he loved me.

Somebody loves me.

Kelly beamed at him. “Honey, that's
wonderful
.”

Aaron felt
so dizzy
. “I don't know what to do now.”

“You be yourself. You talk to him, tell him how
you
feel.”

Aaron nodded, but it was reflexive. Everything felt unreal. “I feel kind of sick.”

Kelly laughed softly and leaned close enough to kiss Aaron's cheek. “Take deep breaths. This is good, but scary.” Kelly tilted his head and wrinkled his nose, still grinning. “He's geeky cute. Very young Dustin Lance Black. I would never have pegged him for your type, but I like it.”

Aaron feared Giles would hear, so he hushed Kelly, who laughed. They joined Walter and Giles's conversation, which turned out for some reason to be about cars. Before Aaron could figure out how to wriggle his way in, Dr. Allison appeared in the doorway and announced, as he had every night, that the performers must leave to get ready for the concert.

“We'll catch you before you guys get on your bus.” Walter waved his phone in a salute. “Text me where the best place is to meet you.”

“Good luck,” Kelly said, his tone heavy with double meaning.

On the way to the charter bus taking them to the theater, Giles and Aaron walked close together, helping each other with their instruments and stands and music as always, but this time everything seemed weirdly intimate. Their ride to the theater was only a few blocks, but evening traffic and one-way streets made it take longer. Every breath felt heavy, every look overflowed with meaning.

At the second streetlight, Giles spoke, voice trembling.

“I didn't mean to say it like that. It's not—” Even in the dim lights and reflected snowbanks, he looked pale. “It was kind of a crazy way to tell you I had…feelings for you.”

Aaron took Giles's hand, which was cool and slender. It fit so well in his. “It's okay.”

“I just— I didn't mean to spring it on you. If you didn't feel the same—”

Aaron stopped him with a squeeze. “I do.”

They stared at each other in the semidarkness, saying nothing more because there were plenty of words between them now.

All too soon they were at the theater and in concert mode. Aaron gave what he could to the performance, but his mind kept tripping ahead to
after
. The usual menagerie of passed items were almost an anchor tonight, keeping him in the moment as he tried to figure out how to pass a Kewpie doll, a feather boa, a set of anal beads and a handheld breast pump without cracking up or losing his focus. When the show was over, when everything was packed up on the bus, he pulled out his phone to text Walter, only to find out Walter had beaten him to the punch.

Kelly told me. Skip us. We'll catch you over break. Go get your man, baby.

Biting back a smile, Aaron pocketed his phone and did just that.

He found Giles out by the bus. It was snowing, and Giles stood under a streetlight in a long wool coat, his sticking-out ears and his long nose pink from the cold. When he saw Aaron, he came over, but he still seemed nervous. “Do you—? Would you like to ride home on the same bus?”

How much did Aaron love the way Giles's voice cracked? “I'd love to.”

They went to the orchestra bus hand in hand. It took a few minutes for the bus to settle down, for everyone to get into their seats and stop shouting across the bus at people or breaking out into song for no reason except they were all high on music. At first a few people tried to engage Aaron and Giles, but as if they could sense something heavy was going down, they quickly retreated to give them their own space.

“I think I've messed something up.” Giles kept his gaze on his knees. “When…when you first came to Timothy, I was upset. I didn't know what it meant. I thought I was being a dummy reading too much into making out at the lake, because of the way you took off, but when you showed up…I was confused.”

Aaron frowned, wanting to argue—then his stomach rolled over as he realized how it must have looked that night. “Oh my God. I'm so sorry.”

Giles shrugged awkwardly. “We were just making out. You were leaving, I was leaving. I didn't think we'd end up at the same place, is all.”

Aaron bit the truth back, reaching for a half confession to staunch the wound. “The night at the lake was…my second time with a guy. My first one was bad. With you it wasn't bad, but…I kind of flipped, I guess.” He felt naked, but he remembered Giles's declaration on the sky bridge and made himself go on, voice pitched low. “It's kind of when I…figured it out. That I really was gay. Admitted it to myself.”

“Jesus.” Giles shut his eyes, wincing. “I feel like a shit-heel for not realizing. I'm so sorry.”

“
No.
” Aaron threaded their fingers tighter together. “I never thought about how it must have looked. I was sorry later I hadn't taken your number. I worried you wouldn't want to give it to me.”

I followed you to your college because it was easier than talking to you on Facebook.
Aaron bit the confession back. Not yet.

Giles laughed, a sad sound. “I'd have given my number to you. All my numbers. Anything you wanted.”

He rested his head against Aaron's, and they sat quietly together for the rest of the ride to the college. Aaron shut his eyes and drank in the moment, the scent of Giles, but the whole time he had to step on the urge to tell the truth, to get the secret off his chest. He told himself it was the wrong time. Was there ever going to be a good moment, though? Because it was crazy. It made
him
sound crazy.

Except it would explain to Giles how much the night at the lake had meant to him.

Except Aaron couldn't be that brave. Even if he wanted to be.

Giles's hand trailed softly over Aaron's thigh. “The guys I hooked up with at A-H—they only ever wanted sex. They just wanted to get off, get gone. And if at all possible, they'd bash me after to make sure nobody knew they were fags. A couple…sent me to the ER.”

Aaron's heart lurched, and he squeezed Giles's hand tight.

Giles squeezed back, closing his other hand over their joined ones. “I'm so sorry I thought of you as the same as them.”