Fifteen Going on Grown Up (34 page)

It was all she could think to ask.

“Hally, we are all at the hospital.”

He said very quietly and with worry evident in his voice. Fear flooded through her and she felt the blood drain from her face. Mum grabbed her hand tightly and dad leaned forward still holding Nathan.

“Why?”

Hally said in a very tiny voice, so much so she wasn’t sure Michael had even heard her.

“It’s Ellie Hally, she’s very poorly.”

Michael told her his voice trembling with emotion. Hally couldn’t react; relief washed over her like a tidal wave rapidly replaced with a sick feeling which completely enveloped her.

“Oh my God. I…can I come over please?”

Her parents sat still, frowning but not interrupting, knowing their daughter would explain when she could. There was a moments silence then Hally said so simply.

“Please Michael.”

Again she waited and finally the tiniest of smiles broke through the lines of fear on her face.

“Thank you.”

Was all she said and hung up. She turned to her parents, pushed back her chair and stood at the same time telling them what she knew.

“I’ll drive you Hally.”

Dad said passing Nathan to his wife and reaching for his keys on top of the fridge. Hally hadn’t even thought about how she was getting to the hospital until dad said this. She felt disjointed, in shock, fear for the toddler passing through her in waves, but with a guilty nagging at the back of her mind. Why hadn’t Wes at least texted her?

With dad at her side Hally made her way through the doors to the main reception desk at the Colingford General Hospital. A smartly dressed woman smiled at her and asked if she needed help. Hally stuttered and stumbled her words and finally dad took control and explained why they were there. The woman tapped a keyboard and then gave them directions to the paediatric department. The hospital was busy as they made their way along corridors and as they neared their destination noticed the walls were brightly decorated with posters and pictures.

The paediatric department had its own reception and again they explained to a receptionist and again waited whilst she tapped her keyboard. From there they were directed to an intensive care ward but were unable to gain entry as the door was security coded. A nurse answered the buzzer and dad again explained what they were doing there. She told them to wait. After a few minutes Michael came through the door and led them to a family room. Kate was waiting inside and stood up and gave Hally a short hug.

“What’s wrong with Ellie?”

Hally asked at the same time wondering where Wes was.

“They think it might be meningitis.”

Kate replied holding back her tears. Hally put a hand over her mouth and dad put an arm around her shoulder. Tentatively and trying to be sensitive too Hally quietly asked.

“Where’s Wes?”

Both his parents looked at each other. Then Michael said.

“He’s in with Ellie…giving us a break.”

There was something in the way he spoke that gave Hally a feeling that she wasn’t being told everything.

“Can I see him…and Ellie?”

She asked without any confidence in her voice at all. Again Wes’ parents glanced at one another making a silent decision. Kate nodded and Michael said.

“Ok I’ll take you through.”

Hally sighed and dad told her he would wait for her in the family room. Michael led her towards a side room and explained how she had to wash her hands and use alcohol gel before she could go in. A stupidly unintentional thought jumped into her mind. ‘I can have alcohol on my hands but I can’t drink it.’ She pushed it out of the way as she pushed open the door to the room.

Wes had his back to the door holding Ellie’s tiny hand. The little girl had tubes coming from her nose and a bag hung from a frame nearby, a tube leading to an IV drip going into her arm. There were little patches attached to her small body sending information to a monitor that bleeped constantly and all sorts of other equipment around the room. Wes looked over his shoulder and gave a start, his face paling visibly.

“Hally…what are you doing here?”

Hally thought this was a very strange question, wasn’t the answer obvious?

“Well…when you didn’t come round or call or anything I got worried and well…I found out about Ellie.”

She told him. He looked at her, but there was something in his look that just wasn’t the Wes she knew.

“I’m sorry Hally I should have let you know.”

It was said without any real conviction and Hally had the awful feeling that something was going over her head.

“It’s ok Wes, you had your sister to think about.”

Hally said softly hoping he would notice her concern. However Wes only glanced at her then laid his head down on the toddler’s tiny hand that he was still grasping. Hally didn’t get it. If Nathan was this ill she would be out of her mind too, but she didn’t think she would just blank out Wes. If anything she thought she would need him there to prop her up and get her through it. She moved over to his side and placed a hand on his head, gently stroking his hair. Then in a very weak voice she said.

“Have I done something wrong Wes?”

He didn’t reply at first, just a slight movement of his head indicating no. Then he looked up at her pain written across his face.

“You shouldn’t be here Hally.”

Hally stepped back, his words burning like fire, as she stammered.

“Wh…wh..at..why?”

Wes turned and looked up at her never letting go of Ellie’s hand.

“I didn’t want to have to tell you like this.”

He said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Tell me what?”

Hally asked close to tears herself, fear clutching her heart like a vice. Wes looked away, brushing soft dark curls away from the tiny girl’s face. The toddler lay in the middle of the bed strapped to the monitors; the only sign she was alive her rapid breathing and the bleeping machine. Hally had to ask again.

“Tell me what Wes?”

He didn’t look at her so she moved to the other side of the bed where she could see his face and waited. He glanced up at her then away again, and with his eyes downcast and in a very flat voice said.

“Ellie is not my sister. She’s my daughter.”

Hally couldn’t move. Shock flooded through her body and she felt like the world was rocking backwards and forwards. A tumultuous explosion of disbelief went through her, this was a really bad joke, but Wes wasn’t looking at her. She couldn’t speak, could barely breathe, her stomach rolled like she was on a roller coaster, but this was no theme park, and still Wes didn’t or wouldn’t look at her. She wanted to scream at him, to shout and demand to know why he was doing this to her, but she couldn’t do any of that. She was in an intensive care hospital room where a little baby girl lay fighting for her life, and all the while her life had just collapsed.

Hally stumbled into the family room, dad standing immediately when he saw her chalk white face, Michael and Kate heading for the door believing something had changed in Ellie’s condition. Dad took her into his arms and she folded like tissue paper on a breeze.

“Baby what’s happened, is it Ellie?”

All Hally could do was shake her head no. Words were lodged in the back of her throat, her tongue felt swollen and unresponsive, she couldn’t tell her father what she desperately wanted to. Dad gently forced her into a chair and poured her ice cold water from a tank near the wall. Handing her the small cup, he helped her sip the contents brushing her hair away from her face. She began to shiver uncontrollably and dad realised she was most certainly in a state of shock. He took off his coat and wrapped it around her.

“Hally, baby what’s happened?”

Hally shook her head as if trying to dislodge something caught in her hair and finally managed a whisper.

“Da..da…daddy…c.c.could..y.you..t.t.take.m.me..h.h.home.”

She tried standing and wobbled against her father. He held her up and gently led her towards the door. As they reached it, it opened and Michael and Kate came back in. They saw the state Hally was in and Kate opened her mouth to speak but dad shook his head.

“I don’t know what’s going on but I’m taking her home.”

He told Wes’ parents firmly and without waiting for a reply, all but carried Hally out of the hospital.

During the drive home, dad kept giving Hally curious little glances but didn’t ask any questions. As he had helped her into the car she told him she wanted to explain everything but wanted to wait until they were home and mum was there too. Dad was very worried about her but agreed to her wishes and drove in silence. He had the heater on high but could see his daughter still visibly shaking. He had wanted to phone his wife and warn her but Hally wouldn’t let him go until she was settled in the car and then all she wanted him to do was drive straight home.

Mum sat anxiously waiting at the kitchen table when dad and Hally came through the door. As soon as she saw her husband practically carrying their daughter she leapt up and came to Hally’s side. Together, Hally’s parents led her into the lounge and settled her on the sofa. Mum disappeared but returned quickly with Hally’s duvet. She kneeled in front of her child and removed her shoes, then wrapped her in the duvet, dad sitting by her side hugging her closely.

“What’s happened?”

Mum asked. Dad shrugged and slightly shook his head.

“We had to go to intensive care and Wes was with his little sister, so his dad took Hally through and after quite a while she came out in this state of shock. She said she wanted to tell us together.”

Mum sat down on the other side of Hally and pulled her close, holding her head against her shoulder.

“Baby, do you want to tell us?”

Hally nodded into her mother’s shoulder tears soaking into her mum’s top. Then her voice quivering she blurted out.

“Ellie is Wes’.”

Mum looked at dad and he frowned, realisation dawning on both their faces. Dad opened his mouth in a silent ‘Oh!’. Mum held her daughter tightly, anger bubbling inside her but holding it in for Hally’s sake.

“Hally, are you saying Ellie is Wes’ daughter?”

Mum asked keeping her own feelings masked. Hally nodded without speaking.

“And you had no idea before?”

Dad asked, realising he had been completely tactless when his wife glared at him.

“Sorry Tink that was a stupid thing to say.”

He quickly added before Hally could reply.

“Mum could you help me get undressed?”

Hally mumbled and completely out of context to the subject. Mum leaned forward and gave her a loving smile.

“Of course baby. And dad will make you a hot drink.”

Back on the sofa wrapped up in her nightwear and duvet Hally sipped hot coffee with her parents either side of her. She had finally stopped shivering and shaking and felt a little calmer. Many things were going through her mind but the one burning question she voiced to her parents was.

“Should I have guessed?”

“I really don’t see how you could have.”

Mum answered her truthfully.

“It’s not like you spend a lot of time round there, or even with Ellie. I mean Wes is here so often.”

Dad told her trying to give her comfort. Still, her mind kept nagging that she should have seen signs. She was angry with herself for not spotting them and even more angry with Wes for keeping this enormous secret for so long.

Hally sat with her parents until nearly midnight. She had talked and talked about the times she had met Ellie, few though they were. How she called Wes Pappy Es and Michael Pappy Ikle and his mother’s explanation for this. Was that a sign? She talked about the way Wes had spoken when Ellie had been sick with a tummy bug. Was that a sign? She told her parents she had believed Wes wholeheartedly when he spoke about being an only child for so long. And she told her parents how she just realised she had never ever heard Wes refer to Ellie as his sister. Should she have known then? Guessed? Tuned in? None of it was fair nor straightforward.

“How could he do this to me mum?”

Hally cried.

“I would like to know that too my angel.”

Mum replied.

“So would I.”

Dad added.

By the time Hally finally went to bed that night it was getting on for one in the morning. She hadn’t heard from Wes at all nor his parents and felt as if she was being punished for something but had no idea what. She had sent brief messages to both Corrinne and Clia telling them she really needed them to come round early the next day. They sent messages back that they would be there as soon as they got up. This was the only consolation to what had turned out to be one of the worst days in Hally’s life so far.

Hally believed she would not sleep at all and expected to be tossing and turning for the rest of the night. However, whether through complete exhaustion or just her own mind switching off, she managed to fall into a deep sleep until about six. For the first few seconds of being awake, Hally’s world was as it always had been. Then reality flooded in and the memories of the previous day bombarded her with pain. She turned her head into the pillow but her sorrow went so deep that tears wouldn’t come. Wes, her wonderful boyfriend that wanted to be only with her was gone from her life, at least that’s how she saw the situation; she couldn’t even begin to imagine how things could be as they were. He hadn’t even called her, texted her, ok, Ellie was very ill, but surely he could have at least sent her a quick message saying something.