Fighting for the Edge (29 page)

“He did that on purpose,” Chris said through gritted teeth.

“Probably.” I touched my abdomen again.
You’re fine. The baby’s fine. Just one more program to skate tomorrow night.

We went over to Sergei, and he grasped my shoulders. “You’re alright?”

I gave him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Let’s cut this practice short. I don’t want you out there with people who are being reckless.”

We left him and did a quick cool down, during which Chris sent more scowls in Damien’s direction. I concentrated on stretching my hip, calming my heart rate, and leaving the ice with a positive feeling. I didn’t want the fall to be my last memory from the practice.

When we returned to the dorms, Sergei suggested I rest, but I asked Chris to sit with me in the common room instead. There were some things I needed to say to him before our final competition.

“Since we’ll be in competitive mode tomorrow, I thought we should talk today,” I said as I tucked my legs under me on the couch.

“What are we talking about?”

“Our partnership. I know I’ve told you many times how blessed I feel to have you as my partner, but I want to say it again. You took a big chance on me, someone with no pairs experience and a history of being a head case on the ice. I can never, ever thank you enough for that.”

“I knew when you laughed at my jokes that you were the one.” He grinned. “The rest was just details.”

“We needed a lot of jokes in the beginning.” I laughed. “There were some tough days, but you always encouraged me and made me feel like things would get better.”

“I never doubted that you would master it all. I could see how determined you were.”

I propped my elbow up on the back of the sofa and rested my head on my hand. “It’s going to be so weird not seeing you every day.”

“You’ll probably be too busy changing diapers to notice,” he joked.

Changing diapers.
That was one of those baby-related things I hadn’t allowed myself to think much about yet.

“We would’ve had the summer tour to hang out and wind down our career, but now that’s not possible,” I said. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. It’s a lot of money you’re missing out on because of me.”

“Don’t sweat it. I can think of better ways to spend my summer than traveling on buses for weeks.”

“You’ve been so great about this whole baby situation. No one else would’ve handled it as well you have.”

He scratched the back of his head. “Honestly, it still freaks me out a little when we skate, but I’ve been trying to keep my mind on just doing my job.”

“Well, we only have one more practice and one more program to skate.” I shook my head as a lump lodged in my throat. “Can you believe it?”

“Uh oh, are you getting ready to cry?”

I laughed as tears did indeed mist my eyes. “I can’t help it. I’m just feeling very sentimental about everything right now.”

He reached out and brought me into his arms, and the tears trickled down my cheeks. We hugged for a minute before he spoke, “Since we’re being mushy, I should tell you that you’ve helped make the last seven years the best time of my life. I’ve loved every minute of skating with you, even with all the craziness we’ve been through.”

I began to cry harder, and I clutched his shoulders tighter. “I feel the exact same.”

He didn’t let me go until my sniffles subsided. I wiped my face with my hands and stood from the couch. Chris dabbed at his own eyes with his thumb and forefinger, and I smiled.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you cry again tomorrow night,” I said.

He stood and hugged me again. “I will gladly bawl like a baby if I have a gold medal around my neck.”

****

Aubrey flopped down onto her bed and watched as Em set the alarm on her phone. “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”

“Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t, but the good thing about being pregnant is the exhaustion will probably knock me out.”

“You’re so lucky the pairs event is first on the schedule. I hate that I have to wait five more days to compete.”

Em placed the phone on the nightstand between their beds. “Once I’m done, Sergei and I will come to your practices and be your cheering section.”

She smiled. “Nick and Zach are bringing lots of obnoxious noisemakers to cheer you on tomorrow night, so you should be able to find us in the stands.”

“Tomorrow night at this time, I could be an Olympic gold medalist.” Em put her palm to her forehead and then rose to her feet. “It’s hard to not keep thinking that.”

“I have a good feeling about it.”

Em stepped halfway into the bathroom and turned to look at her. “After last night and getting through the short pretty well, I’ve been feeling good about it, too, which makes me nervous.”

“Don’t be. You guys are gonna be awesome. I know it.”

Em grinned and shut the door, and Aubrey reclined against her pillows. She was about to shut her eyes when Em rushed out of the bathroom with her hand on her stomach, a panicked look in her wide eyes.

“I’m spotting!”

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Why am I spotting?” I cried as I sat on the bed. My legs had begun to tremble, and I didn’t trust them to hold me.

Aubrey jumped up and sat beside me. “Are you cramping?”

I shook my head and clutched my abdomen with both hands. “Do you think it’s because I fell today?”

“You said you fell on your hip, right?”

“I know, but what if the impact hurt something else?”

Aubrey put her arm around me. “Do you want me to call Dr. Parker for you?”

I didn’t want to call our team doctor. I wanted to wake up and realize this was just a horrible nightmare. I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them, but nothing changed. My stomach turned with sickening dread.

“I’ll call Sergei first,” I said.

Aubrey handed me my phone, and I dialed and waited with shaky breaths for Sergei to answer.

“Hey, did you want to say goodnight again?” he asked.

“I think something’s wrong.” Tears quivered my voice. “I’m spotting.”

He was quiet for a few moments before bursting into action. “I’ll call Dr. Parker. Do you have any pain?”

“No, I don’t know why this is happening.”

“As soon as I talk to Doc I’m coming over. Everything is going to be okay, Em.”

I nodded, but I couldn’t stop the tears from escaping my eyes. All the stress the past few weeks, the fall at practice earlier… had they taken their toll?

I changed from my pajamas into a T-shirt and yoga pants, and Sergei arrived a few minutes later wearing his jacket.

“Doc’s going to meet us with a car downstairs. He’ll go with us to the hospital, where they can do an ultrasound.”

“Okay,” I said quietly.

He enveloped me in a full body embrace and then held onto my hand as I grabbed my jacket and purse. Aubrey gave me a hug as we prepared to leave.

“Call me if you need anything,” she said.

Downstairs in the lobby, we found Dr. Parker already waiting. He wiped his glasses on the sleeve of his coat and gave me a kind smile. “The van’s outside.”

Sergei and I climbed into the seat behind the driver while the doctor sat up front. Being whisked to the hospital wasn’t how I’d pictured spending the night before my Olympic free skate. But maybe that was the problem. I’d spent too much time thinking about skating and not enough thinking about the child I was carrying. I teared up again as the terror in my gut became excruciating.

Sergei didn’t say anything during the ride. He just kept me huddled to his side, his hand stroking my hair. I knew he had to be wondering if we’d made the right decision. He’d had doubts about me continuing to skate, but I’d kept insisting I’d be fine. Why did I have to be so stubborn?

When we arrived at the emergency room, I looked around and counted only five people waiting. Dr. Parker spoke with the desk and told us, “It’ll just be a few minutes.”

We sat in a row in the plastic chairs along the wall, and I flashed back to the last time the three of us had been in the ER together – five years earlier in Tokyo when I’d sprained my wrist. I’d give anything to have a sprained wrist instead of–

My whole body clenched with fear. I couldn’t even think the words.
God, please, please, let the baby be okay.

The nurse called for me after the promised short wait, and Sergei accompanied me to a small room at the end of a mint green corridor. After answering a few questions with a mixture of English and my limited Italian, we were led to another room with an ultrasound machine. I undressed and put on a hospital gown, and Sergei stood in front of me as I sat on the examination table. When he took my hands and kissed them, I broke down into a shuddering sob.

“I’m so sorry,” I gasped.

He caressed my cheek, wiping my tears with his thumb. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

“I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve put the baby first.”

“Em–”

“You felt it from the moment I told you I was pregnant. You fell in love with our baby. But I didn’t feel it, not until now. And it might be too late.” A cry strangled me, and I bent forward.

Sergei kissed the top of my head and gathered me in his arms. “It’s not too late.”

He repeated it again and placed soft kisses on my hair as I cried on his shoulder. When the doctor opened the door, Sergei reluctantly released me. I used the sleeves of my gown to wipe my face.

“Hello,” he said in a heavy accent, giving me the same smile I’d received from Dr. Parker. “I am Dr. Silvia.”

Sergei and I both shook his hand. He reminded me of Uncle Joe with his salt-and-pepper hair, hefty size, and deep voice.

“I speak with your doctor outside,” he said. “You are here for Olympic Games?”

“Yes.” I nodded.

“And you are eleven weeks pregnant.” He looked down at the chart he carried.

“Yes.”

“The blood you see… it is light, not dark?”

“That’s right,” I said, repeating what I’d told the nurse.

“Some bleeding is common in first months of pregnancy.” He set the chart on a small table next to the machine. “We will look at the baby.”

He spread a thick, cold gel on my abdomen, and I shivered. “This is your first ultrasound?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m scheduled for one with my doctor at home in two weeks.”

Sergei clasped my right hand between both of his, and I took a deep breath and said another silent prayer. I’d said about a hundred of them the past thirty minutes. If the baby was healthy, I’d get on my knees and say a thousand more of thanks.

Dr. Silvia placed the machine’s probe below my belly button, and a fuzzy black-and-white image came onto the monitor. I strained my eyes to see anything that looked recognizable.

The doctor pointed to a little blob surrounded by black space. “Do you see this?”

“Is that the baby?” Sergei leaned forward.

“Yes. That is–” He turned more toward the monitor and looked closely as he shifted the probe. “Oh.”

The blood rushed from my head, and I squeezed the life out of Sergei’s hand. “What’s wrong? Is something wrong?”

He turned back to us. “There are two.”

“Two what?” I sputtered.

“Two babies.”

I may have stopped breathing for a full minute. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t form any words. Sergei stood frozen beside me. I stared at the screen as the doctor pointed to the now two blobs showing, each in their own little oval sacs.

“Do you see? I let you hear the heartbeats.”

He faced the machine, and I tore my eyes away from the screen to look up at Sergei. His mouth still hung open.

“We’re having twins,” I croaked, not even believing what I was saying.

He looked at me, but his voice had disappeared. Dr. Silvia pressed a button, and a loud pulsating noise took over the silence.

“This is first baby’s heartbeat.”

I gazed at the monitor and the squiggly line bouncing up and down in rhythm with the noise. The heartbeat was so fast, so strong. And coming from inside me. There was another person
inside me
.
Two
little babies! My hand flew to my mouth, and I dissolved into tears once more. But these weren’t rooted in fear. They were tears of wonder, of amazement at the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

Sergei’s moist eyes shined as he turned to me. “That’s the heartbeat.”

I laughed while more tears spilled down my face. Sergei bent and pressed his lips to my forehead.

“Heart rate is very good.” The doctor clicked something and then moved the probe slightly. “Look here – you can see baby’s head, and here are where arms and legs will be.”

I squinted at the blurry figure. The head was clear, and I could make out four little nubs for limbs.

“I see it! Do you see it?” I pumped Sergei’s hand.

“It’s amazing,” he said hoarsely.

“We listen to second baby’s heartbeat now,” Dr. Silvia said.

He maneuvered more buttons, and the same thumping sound as before came through the machine. Just as fast, just as strong. And equally as beautiful.

“Very good, also,” Dr. Silvia said as he peered at the image and slid the probe to the left. “This one curl in little ball… not as clear to see. He must be sleeping.”

“He?” Sergei’s eyes widened.

“Well, I just say he.” The doctor smiled. “We do not know this yet.”

“Can you tell if they’re identical twins?” I asked.

“I cannot tell this yet, but do you see how they are separate here?” He pointed to the white fuzzy line dividing their sacs. “It is most likely they are not identical, but you know more when you can see sex of the babies. If boy and girl, obviously not identical.”

Sergei and I both gawked at the monitor. Two babies. Oh my goodness. How were we going to take care of
two
babies at once?

“Everything look very healthy. They are right size, have good heartbeats.” Dr. Silvia took the probe from my stomach and wiped off the gel. “As I say, light bleeding is very common in early pregnancy. If it continues, you should rest more and see your doctor when you return home.”

Sergei rubbed my shoulder as his look of astonishment changed to concern. “Emily is supposed to compete tomorrow. What do you think she should do?”