Fighting for the Edge (24 page)

I sat in the chair and looked at the screen. A poster had written:

I heard from a reliable source that the reason Emily wasn’t feeling well at practice and hasn’t been skating great isn’t a migraine or an injured hip. She’s pregnant.

“Who is this source?” Mom cried. “Which one of your friends went behind your back and blabbed?”

I rested my elbows on the desk and pressed my fingertips to my temples. “The federation and the media read this board religiously. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten a call yet.”

“I’m going to let Aubrey have it when I see her,” Sergei fumed.

“Aubrey did this?” Mom gasped.

“She didn’t mean to leak it. She was drunk,” I said.

“Oh, well that makes it so much better.”

Sergei paced behind me. “If you get questioned about it, you can deny it, say it was a false claim.”

“But what if someone starts digging and finds out I’m lying? I think that would make the situation even worse.”

I looked up at the mirror above the desk. My hair was still in a sloppy bun, and I had mascara on only one eye. I needed to be glammed up and at the Savvis Center in less than an hour. What kind of mess I might walk into remained to be seen.

My cell phone trilled, and I took two slow steps toward the nightstand to retrieve it. I let out a breath when I saw Chris’s name.

“Have you seen the message board?” he asked.

“My mom showed me.”

“I was hoping everyone was too buzzed last night to remember what happened.”

“I knew it would get leaked. Too many people there and too juicy of a story.”

“Liza!” Sergei burst out, his hand to his forehead.

I moved the phone away from my mouth. “What about her?”

“I don’t want her hearing about this from someone at her rink. We need to tell her first.”

I glanced at the clock. I had to finish getting ready, call Liza and give her the news, and hopefully escape any media inquiries all in a very limited amount of time. After saying a quick goodbye to Chris and then Mom, I started brushing my hair while Sergei dialed Elena on his cell.

He breezed through the pleasantries with Elena and switched to the speaker function on his phone once Liza was on the line.

“Hey, sweetheart, we have some exciting news,” Sergei said. “We were going to wait until we see you at the Olympics, but we thought we’d call and tell you now.”

“Ooh, what is it?” Liza’s voice crackled over the speaker.

Sergei looked at me as I fastened my hair with a barrette. I nodded for him to continue doing the talking.

“You’re going to be a big sister.” He grinned.

“What! You’re having a baby?” she screeched.

I could only imagine Elena’s face in the background upon hearing that information. She was surely thinking back to finding out she was pregnant with Liza and realizing it was the end of her skating career.

“The baby is due in September,” Sergei said.

“That’s so awesome!”

“We knew you’d be excited,” he said.

“So, it’s okay for Emily to still skate?”

Sergei made a rapid transition from smiling to looking worried. I spritzed my hair with hairspray and leaned closer to the phone. “I’m being very careful.”

“And I’m keeping a close eye on her,” Sergei said.

“I hope it’s a girl. I really want a little sister,” Liza said.

I hadn’t thought much about the sex of the baby. With skating at the forefront of my mind, I’d been viewing my pregnancy more as a medical condition than anything else. Maybe when I’d eventually start showing I’d feel more like an expectant mom?

“Another amazing daughter like you would be wonderful.” Sergei regained his smile.

“Aww, thanks, Dad.”

He and Liza chatted for a few more minutes while I finished my makeup. After double-checking my bag for my exhibition costume, we headed down to the shuttle, and I began revising the choreography of the program in my head. Taking out the twist and the throw would look suspicious, but that was probably a moot point now.

My phone rang as Sergei and I claimed two seats on the bus. Seeing the name of the federation’s PR coordinator on the screen made me hesitate before answering.

“Hi, Jessie,” I said, trying to sound casual.

“Hi, Emily.” She didn’t sound nearly as casual. “Will you be here soon? I’ve been getting some questions about an internet report that you’re pregnant? I’m hearing there are multiple sources.”

Goodness gracious, how many people from the party had loose lips? News always traveled fast in the skating world, but this was ridiculous.

“I don’t want this discussed in the media. I didn’t want this discussed
anywhere,
” I said as Sergei watched me intently.

“I think it’s unfortunately too late for that. The best thing we can do now is address it and control how we want the story presented.”

I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes.
And so it begins.
My Olympic quest was about to become all about my pregnancy. Not about the lifetime of work I’d put in or my incredible partner or how we’d raised the bar technically in the sport. No, all the focus would be on my body and a baby I hadn’t even emotionally come to terms with yet.

****

“Marley!” Aubrey called.

Marley looked over her shoulder but kept walking through the hotel lobby toward the elevators. Aubrey quickened her pace and wheeled her bag around the fancy furniture. She hadn’t been able to corner Marley on the bus ride back from the gala, but she could hopefully catch her now.

“Can we please talk for a few minutes?” Aubrey asked as she joined her in stride.

Marley stopped before the elevator bank and let the crowd of other returning skaters pass them. “If this is about Chris…”

“There’s nothing going on between us anymore. I never should’ve let it happen in the first place, but I wanted you to know that it’s done and it’s over.” She patted the handle of her bag for emphasis. “I can’t stand the thought of losing our friendship over this.”

Marley stared at her, her eyes sad under the heavy stage makeup. She backed toward a quieter spot away from the people traffic, and Aubrey followed.

“It’s just hard for me to think of you guys together. He was my first love. He’s always going to have a special place in my heart.”

Aubrey could hear how upset she still was. “I’m so sorry, Mar. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You could have any guy, so why him?”

There were so many reasons why, but listing all Chris’s wonderful qualities wouldn’t help her get back in Marley’s good graces.

“We… we were just spending so much time together at the apartment, and… I don’t know. He was just… different from other guys.” She avoided Marley’s questioning gaze.

“Which is why I never thought you would go for him. When you said you were moving in together, I didn’t think for a minute that anything would happen between you.”

“I didn’t think anything would happen either. It was like… it was like how you described you and Zach. You were just hanging out and then something changed before you could even realize it.”

“But there was no reason for me to stay away from Zach. There was a very good reason for you to stay away from Chris. One you should’ve thought of from the beginning.”

“I did think of it, but I couldn’t stop these feelings–” Aubrey shushed herself, realizing she’d said too much.

“So, you do have feelings for him,” Marley said quietly.

She fought for words and stuttered, “That’s… that’s not important. What’s important is our friendship and–”

“Hi, girls.” Her mom walked up. “Marley, I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve seen you all week.”

She hugged Marley, and Aubrey silently cursed her timing. She wanted to patch things up with Marley while they were face-to-face. It would be easier than trying to repair their friendship long distance.

“It’s good to see you, Mrs. London,” Marley said.

“Why don’t you come to dinner with Aubrey and me? I want to hear all about Seattle.”

Marley grabbed her bag. “I’m meeting my parents, but thank you for the offer. They’re probably waiting for me, so I’d better get going.”

“Mar, wait,” Aubrey said. “Can we talk more later?”

She gave her a long pensive look. “I don’t think there’s a whole lot more to say.”

Her mom watched Marley curiously as she walked away. “Are things tense between you because of the results? I know you and Nick aren’t used to losing to them, but I hope you’ve been gracious.”

“Of course I’ve been gracious. They deserved to win.”

“Then what’s going on? She’s obviously not happy with you about something.”

Aubrey decided to evade the question and ask one of her own. “Where’s Dad?”

Her mom straightened her pearl necklace. “He left last night. He had some work he needed to do today.”

“On a Sunday? He couldn’t stay one more day for the gala? Or even tell me he was leaving?”

“You’ve been so busy here that we’ve hardly seen you. He didn’t think you’d mind.”

“I’m sorry that I have obligations to the federation and to the media that I can’t skip out on. Unlike his
work
.” She made air quotes on the last word.

“Your father does work hard.”

“And he plays hard too, doesn’t he?” She bit down on her lip, but she’d already said more than she’d planned to.

Her mom’s face froze, and she hugged her arms over her chest. “I think we should go to dinner now.”

But the door had been opened, and after all the years of keeping quiet, Aubrey didn’t want to shut it again. “Mom, you don’t have to pretend with me.”

She avoided her gaze and returned to fiddling with her pearls. “I’m not going to talk about this here.”

“Can we go to my room?”

After a short pause, she received a slight nod in response. Neither of them spoke during the elevator ride or when they reached the room. Aubrey waited tensely for her mom to start the conversation.

“You know about the other women,” her mom said, reluctantly making eye contact.

Aubrey sank onto the edge of the bed. “How many have there been?”

Her mom joined her, and Aubrey noticed she was twisting her platinum wedding band around and around.

“Three that I’m sure of,” she said. “But there were probably more.”

“Why are you still with him? How can you stand it?”

“Because it’s the only life I’ve known for thirty years. I don’t know who I am if I’m not Mrs. Scott London. Trust me, I’ve thought many times about what it would be like if I left him, and it’s just easier this way. I have everything I need…”

“You don’t have love or respect. Aren’t those two of the most important things between a husband and wife?”

“I believe your father does love me.” She stopped turning her ring. “He’s just always needed more.”

Aubrey bent forward and covered her face. “Please don’t make excuses for him. You deserve so much better.
I
deserve better. Did you ever think about how it might affect me? To have to watch my parents in this sham of a marriage?”

“Don’t let my choices affect yours. I want so much more for you. I want you to find someone who will truly be your partner, who’ll make you feel like you’re the most special person in the world.”

She’d thought for a brief shining moment she might have found that someone, but that dream had come crashing down. She wasn’t interested in feeling that kind of heartbreak again anytime soon.

“I’m good being on my own.” She lifted her head. “That’s the easier way for
me
.”

“Honey, you can’t be afraid of getting hurt. You have to open up your heart and take chances.”

“How can you tell me to take chances when you won’t do it yourself?”

“I’m content with the choices I’ve made. I know that’s hard for you to understand, but…”

She didn’t think she’d ever understand. She never wanted to feel trapped in a life that was passing her by. She’d rather be alone forever than to fall for the wrong guy and have her heart lead her down a road of bad decisions. She’d already made enough of those.

Chapter Twenty

I squinted under the bright TV camera lights and fidgeted in my chair. We’d only been back at the rink in Boston for a few days, and Chris and I had already sat for ten interviews. Everyone from
People
magazine to the local university newspapers had jumped on our story. I’d been asked everything from whether my pregnancy was planned to which baby names I was considering. The reporters knew no boundaries as far as getting personal with their questions.

Sergei stood near the boards, a few feet from where the TV reporter had set up his camera. He’d been asked to participate in the interview, but he’d declined, just as he’d done with every other request he’d received. I had a good idea why he didn’t want to be questioned.

Currently interviewing us was the young sports anchor from one of Providence’s local channels. He didn’t seem to know much about figure skating as he kept referring to his notebook for the most basic information like which city had just hosted nationals.

“Chris, how has your approach on the ice changed with Emily’s condition?” he asked.

Poor Chris.
He could probably recite the answer in his sleep.

“Emily’s safety has always been my top priority, so my approach hasn’t changed.”

His responses had grown terser with each interview, and I could see him fighting not to roll his eyes at some of the questions. I didn’t know how I would ever repay him for putting up with this circus.

“So, Emily, do you think skating pregnant at the Olympics means your child will be a champion skater when he or she grows up?” He flashed one of those phony TV smiles.

Are you serious?
I had to stop my own eyes from rolling into the back of my head.

“If my child has a passion to skate, I’ll be very excited, but if he or she doesn’t, then that’ll be okay, too. I’ll support whatever passion our child has.”

The reporter flipped his notebook shut, and Chris and I both shot up from our chairs. Finally we were free. Well, until the next day at least, when more media would come calling. Our agent Kristin had been working overtime, too. Some of our sponsors were nervous that we weren’t prime gold medal contenders anymore, while on the flip side, a whole new group of companies wanted a piece of us. Me, specifically. Most of the products were related to women’s health or motherhood. Kristin had even received a call from one of the pregnancy test manufacturers, to which I’d emphatically said no.