Fighting Strong (8 page)

He wrapped both arms around her, holding her as close and tight as he could. Her breath came out in shallow pants and he soothed her.

“It’s OK, Katie. Just breathe, sweetheart. I’m here.”

She held on to his upper arms, fighting to slow down her breathing. What had just happened shocked her, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. Maybe both.

Adam let her calm down, his hands gentle on her back. When she was relaxed and limp on him, he carefully lay her down on the bed and stretched out next to her. He searched her eyes for tears or fear, but saw none: her dark eyes were warm and sparkling.

He smiled. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah?” She blushed a bit.

“Oh, yeah. I could watch that all day.”

She looked down at him. “But what about you?”

He waved his hand. “This wasn’t about me, Katie. Tonight was always about you –
just
you. OK?”

“OK,” she said softly. “Thank you. You don’t know what a – a gift you just gave me.”

“My pleasure.” He pressed her head against his chest and kissed her. “What do you think? You think you can sleep?”

She nodded.

“OK, then. Get some rest… tomorrow we get up early and we go.”

To his surprise, she did actually fall asleep quickly. Adam held her and watched her face for a while, wondering what she was dreaming about. When the nightmares came and she woke up, shaking and crying out, Adam was there to bring her back to where she was. And where she was was in bed with him, a man who cared about her, a man who wouldn’t hurt her.

Katie fell asleep again and this time she slept deeply, sweetly, without any dreams at all. She woke up in the morning held tight in Adam’s arms, and she knew she was as ready as she would ever be to face her stepfather.

Chapter Seven

Adam turned off the ignition and he and Katie sat for a minute in the hospital parking lot. She was holding his hand in both of hers. Her nails were biting in to his skin, but he didn’t mind; he barely felt it.

“Katie,” he said quietly. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Before we get in there… can you just tell me what to expect? Like, do you think your Mom will be OK with you being there?”

“I have no idea.” She sighed. “I haven’t seen or spoken to her in ten years, but Ryan talks to her, so she knows all about my life. She knows I’m coming with you now.”

“OK.”

“I’m still angry at her, Adam. And she knows it. The last thing I told her was that I blamed her for not protecting us when we were kids. I told her that she was weak, and a terrible mother.”

He was silent.

Actually, I kind of think the same thing. I guess I should keep that to myself. It won’t help Katie and her Mom reconcile, if that’s what she even wants.

“She was – a victim. I know that. I really do. But…”

“What?”

“I still wish she’d left him. Gotten us all out.” She shook her head. “I guess – I don’t think I’ll ever really understand why she didn’t.”

“And what about him? Your stepfather? What’s he dying of?”

“It started out as liver failure.”

“Is he an alcoholic?”

“Yeah. He was a violent drunk for all of my childhood.” She bit her lip. “Anyway, when his liver started to give out a couple of years ago, UNOS refused to put him on the transplant list. Ryan told me that the organization has strict rules about alcoholics receiving organs… I think they have to be able to prove that they’ve been sober for three years before they can be added.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They don’t want a healthy organ going in to someone who’s just going to pollute it with alcohol. Makes no sense.”

“I can see that.”

“So, his liver got worse and three days ago, something just… happened. His condition took a nose dive and now other organs in his body are just starting to shut down.”

“Is he conscious?”

“He was when I talked to Ryan this morning. He’s having some trouble breathing and his kidneys are starting to fail now. When that happens, it’s just a matter of time before the person slips in to a coma.”

“Do you want to talk to him?”

“I do.” The steel in her voice made him look at her.

“Alone?”

Katie met his worried eyes. “No. I want you there with me.” She hesitated. “Is that OK?”

“Yes.” He pulled her to him and rubbed her back. “Whatever you need. You know that.”

She closed her eyes and stayed close to Adam for a minute, just drawing strength from his body. She took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to stay calm.

“OK,” she said. “Let’s go.”

**

Susan Tierney jumped to her feet when Katie appeared in the visitor’s lounge. Her daughter was even more beautiful than she remembered and for a few seconds, Susan just took her in. Katie’s face was more rounded, her hair longer, her eyes bigger. She was wearing almost no makeup, and she was so bright and vibrant, it was almost palpable.

She was holding a man’s hand and Susan’s eyes widened as she took in his size and the tattoos all the way down his arms. He was staring at her with a hard look, his eyes chips of ice in a set face. Right away, she knew that Katie had told him all about her childhood, about Susan’s failures.

“Katie!” Ryan Lloyd jumped to his feet and hurried over to her. “You made it!”

Katie hugged her brother tightly, happy to see him.

“Is Megan here? The kids?”

“No, I drove them to the hotel about an hour ago. They’re packing and leaving tonight.”

“They doing OK?”

“Oh, yeah. Great.” Ryan turned to Adam. “And you must be Adam.” Ryan extended his hand. “Thank you so much for getting Katie here.”

“It was no problem,” Adam said.

Finally, Katie looked at her mother. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, honey.” Susan’s eyes filled with tears. “You look good.”

“Thanks.” Katie tugged Adam forward. “This is Adam Pierce. Adam, my Mom, Susan.”

“Ma’am,” Adam said inclining his head slightly. His father had drilled respect in to his head for years, and he was determined to offer Susan courtesy – but the most basic form of it and not one bit more.

He studied Susan carefully, taking in her dark eyes that were so much like Katie’s. He saw that there must have been a time when she was a lovely woman, but years of abuse and fear had taken their toll on her. She was gray and lined and had a haunted, harried look about her. He softened towards her a little as he realized that she hadn’t had a happy life. Not even remotely.

“Roy’s been asking for you,” Susan said. “Asking and asking.”

It occurred to Adam that this was the first time he had heard Katie’s stepfather’s name; she had never said it aloud, not once.

“Has he?” she said. “Well, I’ll just go on in and say hi then.”

“He’s really not the same man that you remember, hon.” Susan hesitated. “Be gentle with him, OK? He’s dying, Katie.”

Katie stared at her and sighed.

Still covering for him, I see. Right until the very end.

“Want me to come with you?” Ryan said.

“No, thanks.” She smiled at him. “What room is he in?”

Ryan pointed with his chin. “Three fourteen.”

She nodded. Adam took her hand again and they left the visitor’s lounge together. When they reached the door of her stepfather’s room, she paused.

He lifted her chin to meet his eyes. “You ready for this?”

She nodded.

He turned the door handle. “I am right here, Katie.” He swung the door open and they went in.

The man on the bed turned to look at them as they entered. His gray eyes widened and his thin hand grappled with the oxygen mask. He lowered it and stared at Katie.

“Katie. My God, you came.”

She stood just inside the door and looked at him quietly.

He extended a trembling hand to her. “Katie, come closer. Please. Come sit.”

She slowly approached the bed. Adam leaned against the door with his arms crossed and watched her go, his chest tight with fear and worry. He didn’t like her being in the same
state
as this fucker, let alone within ten feet.

Katie sat down on the chair next to the bed, set her camera on the bedside table. Her stepfather put the mask back on, drawing several deep breaths, staring at her the whole time. She watched, surprised at how frail he was. He was almost the same color as the bed sheets and his massive frame was about half the width that it used to be. He must have dropped well over one hundred pounds; he looked shrunk and depleted, all his muscle tone gone.

He took the oxygen mask off again and reached for Katie’s hand. “Baby –”

Adam reacted without thinking. He shot forward and growled, “Don’t fucking touch her, not unless you want every fucking bone in your body smashed.”

The older man’s eyes really took in Adam for the first time. He blinked in surprise and then he saw Adam’s face. It was dark and dangerous, full of barely-restrained fury.

“Ah,” he said in a weak voice. “I see that Katie has told you about me. About… about what I used to be like.”

“
Used
to?” Adam said.

“Yes.” Those gray eyes were filling with tears as he gazed at Katie. “I’ve changed, baby. I’ve stopped drinking and I’ve found God.” He gasped for air. “I’ve repented for all the things I’ve done.”

Adam felt disgust rising in his chest.
This piece of shit has found God? Yeah, right! Don’t believe one word that comes out of his mouth, Katie.

But Katie was looking at Roy with an expression of softness. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Roy took some more deep breaths from the mask and she waited. “I’m not the same man I was when you was growing up. I’m – I’m different.”

“How?”

“I know how much I hurt you, baby.” Roy sucked more air, his eyes never leaving her face. “I was too hard on you and Ryan sometimes. I wanted you to be tough, see. I knew the world was a bad place, and I tried to get you ready for it.”

“Oh,” Katie said. “Is
that
what you were doing? You were helping us?”

“Yeah. I was toughening you up… and I did it well, right? Look at you now, Katie. You stood on your own two feet these past ten years, right? Made something of yourself? That’s all because of
me
, you know. You done me proud.”

“Have I?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so glad that I don’t disappoint you anymore.” She smiled.

Adam looked at her sharply. “Katie…”

“No, Adam. He was helping me. He was making me strong.” She turned back to Roy. “Right?”

“Exactly, baby. Exactly.” He nodded, his pale face gentle and sweet.

She nodded back. “I understand.”

“You – what?” Adam said.

“I mean… I
didn’t
understand at the time,” Katie said. “I didn’t like being hurt.”

“I know, Katie. But you was so wilful and disobedient – you never listened and sometimes, I had to be hard on you. I didn’t enjoy it, though. I was just doing my duty.”

“I see that now. I know I was a difficult child.”

“And since I done all that good for you then, I need something from you now.” His eyes were narrowing, watching her closely.

It looks like he’s taking aim. Shit, Katie. Watch out.

“What do you need from me in return?” Katie said.

“Your forgiveness.” Roy breathed in and out, coughing in the most heart breaking way. “I need to know that my soul is going on clean and clear. Your Mom and Ryan have already forgiven me, you know. They don’t want me to enter the next world with any doubts or regrets.”

“Don’t they?”

“No. No, they know that I’ve changed.”

Katie was silent. “So, you need my forgiveness?”

“Yes.”

“Well. You can’t fucking have it.”

Silence.

Roy stared at Katie, stunned. “I – what? But I’ve
changed
, baby.”

“Stop calling me that.” Her voice was pure ice, any trace of sweetness or understanding gone now. “Only one person on the whole planet gets to call me that, and it’s not you.”

Roy’s eyes slid back to Adam. “Him, huh?”

“Yes.”

“You fucking him, you piece of trash whore?”

Adam stepped forward again, outraged, but Katie held up her hand, her eyes never leaving her stepfather’s face.

“It’s OK, Adam. I’ve got this.”

He backed down, watching her calm face, trusting her.

“It must have been such an effort for you these past few months, pretending to have changed and repented. Exhausting, I imagine.” Katie smiled at the man in the bed. “But you don’t need to pretend with me. You’re not going to convince me of anything, or manipulate me in some fucking twisted deathbed power play. I know who you really are, remember? So, come on out.”

Their eyes met and they knew each other.

He smiled now, and the mask was completely gone now, his gaunt face twisted with malice. “You fucking whore. That’s all you ever was, you know, and I’ll just bet that’s all you are now. Nothing but a pussy to plug, just a hole to pass the time in.” He licked his lips. “Nothing but a cunt.”

“And there you are,” Katie said softly. “I knew you were still in there somewhere, Roy.”

Roy turned to Adam now. “I know she’s told you about what me and her did together, all those nights in her bed. But don’t believe her if she said it was by force… she
loved
it, you know. She was dripping wet and begging for it. Couldn’t get enough of sucking on my dick.”

Adam turned white with rage; it was only his confidence in Katie that kept him still. Roy observed how he was getting to Adam and he smiled.

“Yeah,” Roy continued in a conversational tone. “Couldn’t keep her fucking legs together – just like her mother. Now, take my advice, boy: you want to keep this bitch in line? Backhand her a few times.” His eyes glittered as he saw Adam’s pain and anger. “Lit cigarettes work good, too.”

“Hey, Roy.”

He looked at Katie, his lip curled, his eyes alight with hatred and petty triumph.

She raised her camera and snapped his photo.

Both men blinked.

“What the fuck?” Roy sputtered. “You – you took my fucking
picture?
”

She was gazing down at her camera. “Huh. Would you look at that.”

“What?” Roy said.

“You know, you were always so huge. When I was a kid, you blocked the whole sun, you sucked all the air out of the room. And in my memory, you’re always as big as a mountain… you crushed me in so many ways.”

She looked at the camera again, then she held it up to show Roy.

“This is how I remember you – exactly like this. Ugly and angry… you scared me to death for years. But now I see it.”

“What? What do you see?”

She smiled. “That you fit in this little window just fine.”

Adam closed his eyes in relief.

Oh, God… she’s going to be OK.

“I – what?” Roy sucked on his oxygen, suddenly needing it badly.

“And now that I’ve got you trapped in here, I can do whatever the hell I want with you. I can frame you and sell you for a thousand dollars. I can hang you on a wall in a gallery and have people gawk at your ugliness.” She paused. “Or, I can just push one tiny button and delete you. You’re nothing. You’re just – just a black-and-white picture. I can throw you away any time I want.”

There was real fear in his eyes now.

“I thought I needed to see you die so I could move on with my life. But now I know I was wrong. I don’t need to watch you die – I needed
this
. I had to see you as you truly are. Small and weak and terrified.” She looked at the camera again. “A sick and pathetic excuse for a human being reduced to a frozen image in a box.” She stood up. “We’re going now. You’ll never see me again.”

“Katie, wait…”

“No,” she said. “Not one more word. You have no say about what I do or where I go next or how I feel. You can’t do any of those things, because you’re just a picture in a frame, and they don’t talk.” She turned her back on him and left the room without even a look back.