Authors: Marysol James
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary Fiction, #Sports, #Romance, #Fiction, #Contemporary, #sex
“It’s OK, Katie,” he said. “You won’t need any stitches… I’ll clean it up and that’s going to sting like hell, I’m afraid. But then it’ll be over.”
She was quiet as he cleaned out the cut, liberally applied cream and then wrapped and taped a bandage securely in place. He said nothing, but he couldn’t stop staring at the burns; he counted nineteen, and he saw that they went around to the backs of her legs too.
Who the fuck did this to her?
After he finished with her leg, he moved on to her arm. Carefully, he picked out six shards of glass with the tweezers and then poured disinfectant on the cuts. She bit her lip as the liquid burned and bubbled and he held her hand until she relaxed again. He put on some bandages and checked that they held.
“OK, all done,” he said. “I want you to keep your legs bare for right now. I have some extra blankets here so you’ll be warm enough.” He wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and she clutched it. She still wouldn’t look at him.
“I’ll set up a place for you to rest. You doing OK?”
She nodded and started taking off her numerous silver earrings.
Adam spread the sleeping bag on a stack of thin gym mats on the floor next to the far wall. He saw a stack of cushions and included one as a pillow. Then he went back to Katie and gently lifted her to her feet, helping her to walk across the floor.
“Here, lie back.” He eased her down on to the sleeping bag, adjusted the cushion under her head and covered her with two blankets. “You OK?”
“Yes.”
“You want some water? A granola bar?”
“No, thanks.”
“You think you can sleep?”
“I’ll try.”
“Alright. I’ll be right over here if you need me.” He paused. “I’ll leave the flashlight on at night, OK?”
Katie turned over and faced away from him. She stared at the barn wall and felt the tears running down her cheeks, unchecked. She fought to keep her crying quiet so Adam didn’t hear.
Fuck, fuck. Why did he have to see them? He’s going to ask and keep asking until I answer, of course. I mean, I would. What am I going to say?
She was sure that she would be awake all night, and it was a surprise when she started to feel drowsy. She heard Adam breathing and moving around behind her as he cleaned and bandaged the cut on his head and set up his own sleeping area. He dragged a stack of barrels to the busted door and jammed it shut, blocking the entrance completely. She relaxed, knowing that he was between her and the door. They could barely stand each other, but he’d never let anything get to her, she knew. She drifted off to sleep.
Across the barn, sitting on a stack of mats, Adam watched her back rise and fall. Quickly at first, as she struggled to control her sobs, then more slowly as she calmed, and then evenly as she fell in to a deep sleep.
When he was sure that she was out, Adam lay down facing her curled up body. She looked surprisingly small over there and he felt the desire to protect her. He closed his eyes, trying to rest, but his mind was spinning. He couldn’t stop thinking about those burns.
The last thing he thought before dropping off was that if he ever met the person who did that to her, he’d break them in half with his bare hands.
“No! No… stop!”
Adam bolted awake and was on his feet before he had fully taken in his surroundings. He looked around wildly, thinking that someone had broken in to the barn.
Katie was twisting and turning under the blankets, fast asleep. She was moaning and crying out as she fought something in her dreams.
A nightmare. Dammit.
He crossed the length of the floor in two steps and crouched down next to her. Gently, he touched her shoulder.
“Katie? You OK?”
She felt someone touch her and she pushed the hand away. “Don’t! No!”
“Katie… Katie, open your eyes.”
She struggled against the dark oblivion of the dream, wanting to get away from him. Her arms flailed as she pushed against his body and a strong hand held her still.
“Katie, calm down. Wake up, OK?”
With a gasp of panic, her eyes flew open. When she saw a giant man leaning over her, she screamed.
Right away, Adam let go of her. She scrambled away and crouched against the barn wall, her head down, shaking.
Adam waited a few seconds and then he spoke. “Katie?”
She closed her eyes.
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
He felt a surge of relief to hear her voice. “OK. I’m coming over to get you now. Don’t be scared… alright?”
“Alright.”
Slowly, he moved towards her, cursing his size. Adam had never wanted to be physically smaller than he was – one of the things he worked for was to be stronger and more muscled than anyone thought possible – but right now, it was a huge problem. When stuck in the middle of nowhere with a shaking and terrified woman, being the size of a building was not comforting for her, he imagined.
Katie felt him settle right next to her and she looked at him. His eyes were gentle and concerned and she suddenly saw that he wasn’t going to hurt her. For the first time in a long time, she really believed it possible to be safe with a man.
“Adam,” she whispered.
“It’s me. You’re OK now.” He opened his arms to her. “Come here.”
She moved in to his embrace and leaned against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. She was cocooned by his massive body, completely enclosed in it, protected from the outside world. She had never felt so vulnerable and so safe at the same time.
He wasn’t at all surprised when her body started to shake and she began to cry. He held the back of her head in one huge hand, pressing her face against his warmth and strength.
“I’ve got you, baby. It’s all over now. It’s OK.”
Weeping and clutching his upper body, Katie closed her eyes. It wasn’t over, she knew. It wouldn’t be over until the bastard was dead – and maybe not even then.
**
Katie was quiet and still now. Her body wasn’t shaking anymore, her breathing had calmed. She was held tight in Adam’s arms, her face hidden in his chest. She didn’t feel ready to come out yet and face all his questions.
But you’re going to have to tell him now. No way out of this conversation.
Adam stroked her back, giving her more time to recover. He sensed that she was gathering up her courage and strength to talk to him and he didn’t want to force anything.
She looks like she’s been forced in too many ways in her life already.
Finally, Katie pulled back and looked at Adam. He gazed down at her, his face open and surprisingly sweet. He didn’t say anything.
“I… I don’t know where to start.”
He searched her eyes. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Katie.”
“I
want
to, though. I… I need to talk.”
“OK.”
She ran her fingers over his bicep, tracing the tattoo there, over and over again. “When I was five, my Dad died. In a plane crash. I was with him.”
Adam touched her face. “You poor thing.”
“My Mom didn’t – didn’t do so well on her own. She remarried fast, within a year of Dad dying. The guy she married, my stepfather, was a… a monster.”
Adam sucked in his breath, already knowing her whole story. The burns on her thighs were screaming witnesses to what had happened to her.
“He hurt my mother, badly. He controlled her with violence and no matter how angry I still am at her for what she let happen under her roof, I do know that. She – she should have done things differently, but I understand why she didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Katie.”
It was as if she didn’t hear him. “The abuse started almost immediately – he beat me and my brother. Locked us in the closet for days on end. Starved us. It went on like this until I was eleven and Ryan was thirteen, I guess, and then it… changed for me. It became more… sexual.”
Adam closed his eyes, dreading what she was going to say next. He tightened his arms around her, as if somehow he could stop what was coming.
“The first time he – he…” She fell silent.
“Baby, you don’t have to talk about this. I know what he did to you.”
Her eyes were unfocused. “I was twelve when he first raped me in my own bed. That was also the first time he burned me.” She gestured down at her thighs. “He told me it was because I was a dirty whore and every time I looked at that burn, I was to remember that. He said… he said that he wanted that knowledge literally burned in to me.”
Adam shook with the effort of not getting to his feet and running in to the night to find this guy.
How are these people created? Where the fuck do they come from?
“I could never figure out why he’d burn me afterwards sometimes and not at other times. I began to think that… the burns were extra punishment. Like, I’d done something
really
bad that day, something that meant that I deserved extra pain.”
Adam was horrified. “Oh, God, Katie. Do you still think that?”
She looked up at him. “Sometimes. Sometimes I do.”
“No. You did nothing –
nothing
– to deserve any of what he did to you.” He ran his fingers over her cheek, noticing how cold she was. He wrapped a blanket around her and pulled her back in to his arms.
“Better?”
“Yes.” She smiled at him, a real smile that reached her eyes. “Thanks, Adam.”
“Did you hear what I said? About you doing nothing to deserve what happened?”
“I did.”
“You
do
know that it’s not your fault, right?”
“Sometimes I know that. Sometimes I forget.”
They sat quietly for a few minutes, both lost in thought.
“Katie? Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“Where we’re going… to the man who’s so sick. The man who’s going to die…”
She looked at him and the steel and hatred in her eyes took him aback. “It’s him. That bastard is finally dying, Adam, and I want to be there to watch him take his last breath. I have to be sure he’s really gone. Then maybe I’ll be free to start again.”
**
They were lying down together on top of the sleeping bag, tucked under the blankets. Katie’s head was on Adam’s shoulder and she was relaxed. Her fingers were lightly tracing the muscles on his huge chest, liking how it felt to touch him. That surprised her.
It surprised Adam, too. Her body fit perfectly with his, somehow. Her slim curves and length of limb were smooth and streamlined and slipped in to his bulk like she belonged there. He held her gently and was taken aback that he actually liked to be close to her.
He touched her hand and she looked up at him.
“OK?” he said quietly.
“Yeah. I am now.”
He stared at her, astounded at how soft her eyes were in the half-light of the flashlight. Ten minutes earlier he had convinced Katie to lie down again and without even thinking about it, he’d laid down beside her, leaving some space between them. He wondered if she might recoil or tense up, but instead she’d just curled right up against him like she’d been there many times before. Like she totally knew his body, and trusted him with hers. Like she found comfort by being close to him.
“I’m sorry, Adam.”
“What for?”
“When you offered to help me, you had no idea what you were walking in to. As you can see, it’s messy.”
He shook his head. “Don’t even worry about it.” He paused. “Can I ask you something else?”
“Sure,” she said.
“What you said, about not even your friends knowing about your scars… why didn’t you tell them?”
She looked away. “I don’t know.”
“Katie?” He used one finger to gently lift and turn her chin. “Mia knows about your stepfather, right? What he did to you?”
“Yes. Mia and Reena and Maggie all know. They know about the physical abuse and the – the – what he did to me from the time I was twelve. But I couldn’t talk about the burns. They’re so… I don’t know.”
“Brutal?”
She looked at him. “Yes. I just couldn’t say it out loud.”
“But when you were growing up, how did you explain the scars to people around you?”
“You mean like at school?”
“Yeah.”
She shrugged. “Well, nobody at school looked all that closely, really. I always wore long shorts in the summer and track pants in gym class and I always changed in a stall.”
“But what about at the doctor? I mean, I imagine you and your Mom and brother were always in and out of the E.R., right? Nobody asked? Followed up with Child Protective Services?”
“My Mom was a nurse before she married my stepfather, so she took care of most things at home after the beatings. Stitches and stuff. The times we had to go to the hospital – when he broke Ryan’s arm, for example, and when he broke my wrist – Mom took us. She used to work there before my stepfather forced her to quit, so they believed what she told them. And she covered for him with our breaks and bruises. Nobody looked any farther.”
“So she said that you fell down the stairs?”
“And fell off the jungle gym and got hurt playing basketball. You know. Kid stuff.”
“OK, but what about boyfriends? I mean…” He stroked her cheek. “You know. Guys you slept with. They’d see you naked. No way they couldn’t see that these are cigarette burns. I knew right away.”
“To tell you the truth, Adam, the guys that I’ve been involved with weren’t all that interested in me.”
He pulled back to see her face better. “So, why be involved with them?”
“Because I knew they wouldn’t care enough to ask about my scars. And if they did, I just told them they were from the plane crash and that shut them up pretty fast.”
Something moved in his chest. “You don’t have a very high opinion of men, do you?”
“No.” She gave him a sad smile. “No, I really don’t. Especially physically strong men – in my experience, they just use all that size and strength to hurt people smaller and weaker than them.”
He nodded. “I can understand why you’d think that.”
She peered up at him, suddenly aware of what she just said. “Wait, Adam. I don’t mean you or Nick. I’m not implying that you guys would
ever
hurt me or Mia or anyone who wasn’t standing there in the ring, fighting you by choice.”
He touched her hand again. “Hey, it’s OK. I know what you meant.”
Katie laid her head down on his chest, wanting to avoid his eyes for a minute. “Can I ask
you
something now?”
“Of course.”
“Will you still take me to Nevada? After the accident and everything you know now?” She held her breath.
“Katie, I am absolutely taking you there.”
Something in his voice made her stare at him. “Why do you sound like that?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.” She tensed up a bit. “Angry.”
He slowly reached out and when she didn’t flinch, he brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I
am
angry. Not at you, OK? At your stepfather.”
“You are?”
“Fucking furious.”
“Oh.”
He smiled grimly. “Look, I’m not going to lay a finger on the guy, even though I’d love to beat him to death. But I
am
going to get you to Nevada in time for you to look him in the eye. I want you to stand over him on his deathbed and say and do whatever you need to say and do to move on with your life.”
She blinked at the tears in her eyes. “Really?”
“Yes, really. You can trust me, OK, sweetheart? I’ll get you there.” He gently wiped her tears with his thumb. “I promise.”
**
Officer Deborah Keene stared down at the blood in the car. Not as much as she’d expect from a car accident, so that was a good sign. Whoever was in this car got up and walked away.
“OK,” she said to her partner Kevin Edwards. “They must in the Play Barn.”
“For sure,” Kevin said. “That’s what I’d do.”
“Me too,” Deborah said. “You call it in and I’ll go to the Barn, check it out.”
“Ambulance?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Deborah walked to the barn and saw that the padlock was gone.
Yep. They busted in here. Fred Murray is going to lose his mind that someone broke in. Again. Well, it’s his own damn fault for having such a piss-poor security system. Though I imagine whoever’s in there right now is grateful he’s such a cheap bastard and won’t lock the place up properly.
Deborah reached the door and pushed against it. Nothing. She shoved again and heard the wood make contact with something inside. She pushed with her shoulder and felt whatever it was start to give. There was a loud bang and a crash as something fell over.
Adam heard the sound behind him and he jolted awake. Katie was sleeping soundly, her head on his bicep and his arm curled around her waist, holding her against his chest. In one movement, he gently eased her off him and leapt to his feet. Only half-awake, Katie sat up on the sleeping bag, her face scared and confused in the morning sun.
“Adam? What –”
“Stay down,” he said, shielding her from the person standing in the door holding a gun.
“Police!” Deborah said, badly shaken at the size of the man in front of her. He had very short dark hair and blazing blue eyes and his arms were covered in tattoos.
Adam held up his massive hands. “Hey, we’re glad to see you. We were hoping someone would show up when they saw our car by the road.”
Deborah saw the woman now. She looked frightened half to death. Deborah lowered her gun. “You two OK?”