Filthy Bastard (Grim Bastards MC) (11 page)

I look into her eyes, letting her see that I’m reaching my limit. “I told you I was sorry, more than once. Not sure what else you expect me to say. It’s over and done with, and there’s nothing I can do to change what I did. What do you want me to do?”

Alex plops back down in her seat, wiping a stray tear from her eyes. “I know, Addy. I know you didn’t mean to scare me. Just don’t do it again, please.”

Hearing the weariness in her voice, I paste on a smile. “I won’t. I promise.”

She opens her mouth to say something else, but she shuts it when Blake walks into the room. A chill works up my spine as he walks past me to place a kiss on Alex’s cheek. Her flinch causes him to smile, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns to look at me.

His smile spreads as he says, “Adyson, I need to speak with you in private.”

“What do you need to talk to Addy about?” Alex asks, placing a protective hand over the child resting in her belly.

Blake’s eyes jerk to her, narrowing angrily. “If I wanted you to know, don’t you think I would have said it here in front of you?”

Seeing the confusion and even a bit of fear in my sister’s eyes, I speak up. “You realize that a new mother-to-be needs to be surprised from time to time, don’t you?”

“I suppose so.” A small smile plays on her lips, even though she doesn’t look convinced.

Standing up, I walk over to her and give her a hug before bending down to place a kiss on her belly. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, Sis. Love you,” she tells me, a true smile on her face.

“Love you, too, Alex,” I reply, before following Blake out of the room.

He leads me straight to his study and shuts the door as soon as I step inside. Quickly grabbing my arm, he gives me a not so gentle shake. “Where in the hell have you been?”

I have to fight the urge to pull away from him as I reply. “I was in Alabama with Trix. We needed a break.”

He lets me go and lets out a chuckle. “You never were much of a liar, Little Bit, but I expected a better attempt than that.”

“I’m not lying. We both needed some time away from school,” I say, hoping he will let it drop.

Blake leans close and whispers in my ear, as he slides a key card into my hand. “Meet me at the Hyatt on Westmorland Avenue in three hours. Room 412.”

Not bothering to reply to him, I shove the keycard in my pocket. Doing my best to swallow the bile rising up my throat, I walk out of his study and head straight to my car. I’m nearly at the car when last night’s dinner works its way back up.

Brew

THROWING BACK
another shot, I lean over the bar and pull out another bottle of Jack. As soon as the top is off, I pour myself another round and set the bottle right in front of my face. Before I can place the shot to my lips, Trix sits down beside me and narrows her eyes at me. She pulls the glass from my hand and tosses it back.

“Hello to you too, Trix,” I say sarcastically, grabbing the bottle and taking a drink, not bothering to grab another glass.

“Well, hello, Brew.” Letting out a long sigh, she slams the glass down on the bar top and grabs the bottle from my hand to pour herself another shot. “What the fuck are you doing sitting here getting drunk, when you should be in Knoxville looking for Addy?”

“Not gonna happen,” I say, shaking my head.

I know where she’s going with this shit, and I’m not about to take her mouth today. No fucking way. I put it out there; Addy knew I wanted her. Then, she turned into a fucking bitch and walked out. I’m not gonna run after her, not after that. Hell no. What kind of fool does Trix think I am?

She throws back another shot before saying, “She needs you.”

“Don’t start with me, Trix,” I reply, grabbing the bottle and taking a drink straight from the source.

Her eyes narrow again as she snatches the bottle from my hand and fills the glass. “I’m not starting anything, Brew. I’m pretty sure you started it, by looking at my best friend like she was water and you were the thirstiest man to ever walk the earth.”

Fuck! I know she’s right. As soon as I laid eyes on Addy, I was reminded of everything I lost, reminded of the life I was supposed to live. Not that I would trade the brotherhood for anything, but there are some things I miss. When I was young, I just knew I would marry someone like Addy. I’d spend the rest of my life breaking my back to make her happy, and she’d do the same for me. I thought that dream was forgotten, until I saw her.

Shaking my head, I place my hands flat on the bar and say, “I tried, Trix, but she left anyway. Hell, she couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”

“Well, then get off your ass and go get her back,” she tells me, a small smile on her lips. “Bring my best friend home.”

“How many times do you think I’m supposed to act like a pussy and attempt to be with her? I made more than one attempt while she was here, and it was for nothing,” I say in a near shout, starting to lose my temper with Boz’s woman.

“Didn’t sound like nothing the night of the party,” she replies with a smirk. “I heard you getting yours, all the way down in the common room.”

“She wanted to fuck, so I gave her what she needed,” I say, hating the sounds of the words leaving my mouth.

“Isn’t she worth a second chance?” Trix asks, looking me straight in the eyes. “Doesn’t my friend deserve a man that would be willing to walk through fire for her?”

“She would have to be willing to meet me on the other side, Trix. I don’t think Addy’s up for that,” I reply, hoping she gets my meaning.

“I’ve never seen my friend truly happy, not until I saw her with you.” She shakes her head and whispers, “Addy used to cut herself, just to feel the pain. Still, it was lingering in her eyes every time I looked at her. That pain was gone when she was you.”

“Why are you telling me this shit?” I ask, not wanting her to see that her words are having the desired effect on me.

Trix reaches over and gives my shoulder a quick but tight squeeze. “Give her a chance, Brew. I bet she’d be willing to take the heat for you.”

I take another drink before saying, “I think you’re wrong.”

“Won’t you at least try?” Trix asks, scooting closer to me.

Shaking my head again, I answer honestly, “I am not fucking going halfway across the state just to get turned down by her again. There’s only so much rejection a man can take, and I’m not going to put my ass on the line just so she can walk away.”

“I honestly don’t know what the hell is going on with her. She is so different than what she used to be. Up until this year, we talked all the time. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t talk about to each other. It’s not the same now,” she says, looking like her heart is breaking. “Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like I know anything about her, or what’s going on in her life. I miss her. She was different with you. You changed her back to the Addy I remember.”

“I hate that, Trix, but it’s not my fucking problem anymore,” I tell her, as the alcohol starts to cloud my brain. “Hell, it never was.”

“Won’t you try to get my best friend back?” she asks, tears starting to fill her eyes.

This time, I let my own anger and pain talk for me. “I can’t help how Addy acts. It doesn’t have a damn thing to do with me. If she doesn’t talk to you, it’s your problem. It’s not my fucking problem.”

“But, Brew,” she starts, but I cut her off.

“If the bitch doesn’t want to tell you shit, there ain’t a fucking thing I can do about it. You fix your problems yourself. Better yet, go to Boz. Maybe he can have her kidnapped again, force her to play your friend for a little while longer,” I say, not even considering how much my words will hurt the woman I have grown to respect.

Trix looks at me, her eyes flashing with something I don’t quite understand. I can’t tell if my words have hurt her, or if she’s pissed as fuck. Either way, I know my ass is going to pay when Boz finds out I spewed my anger at his woman.

My question is answered when she stands up and screams at me, “I didn’t ask you to fix my problems! All I was asking was for you to go to her, maybe talk to her. You could’ve showed her there was someone who cares about how she feels. You could’ve let her know you’ll be there for her whenever she’s ready.”

She may have started off yelling at me, but by the end, she has tears coming down her face. Each tear that falls has me feeling lower than dirt. At this moment, I’d do anything to take her pain away. I can’t, though. No, I had to keep on, until she was feeling every bit as bad as I am.

I know there’s nothing I can say to take back my words or the pain they caused, but I say the only thing I can. “I’m sorry, Trix.”

Her anger was enough to get Boz’s attention, and it doesn’t take him long to make his way over to us. His eyes go directly to her face as he pulls her into his arms. She buries her head into his chest and keeps crying. Boz runs his hand up and down her back, trying to take her pain away.

Finally, his eyes come to me and he asks, “What the fuck is going on, brother?”

“I fucked up, let the alcohol talk for me,” I reply honestly. “I should’ve watched my damn mouth and remembered who I was talking to.”

“It wasn’t him,” Trix says, pulling her face from his chest. “It’s Addy. She hasn’t been answering her phone, and I’m worried about her.”

Boz shakes his head before saying, “You ain’t telling me everything, darlin’. There’s a reason you were screaming before the tears started to fall.”

She turns her head just enough to look at me then lies her ass off. “I wanted him to go check on her, but he said he’d already drunk too much to go tonight.”

Fuck! Trix is one wickedly smart bitch. She’s putting me in the position to do just what she wants. If I don’t, I’ll have to admit to my Pres that I talked to his woman as if she wasn’t any better than a club whore.

He tightens his hold on her, before saying, “I don’t like to see my woman cry, whatever the reason, so I’m suggesting you do what she asked.”

“He needs to sober up first,” Trix adds, with a smile of triumph on her face.

Boz starts to lead Trix away from the bar, while issuing me orders. “You better be on the road bright and early, brother.”

After lifting my chin, I grab the bottle and take another drink. I don’t know what the fuck Trix expects me to do. Even if Addy does talk to me, what the hell would it accomplish? I could wait for her forever, make her a million promises, and it wouldn’t change a damn thing. I could tell by the look on her face the night before she left, she was done with me. Addy wanted to leave; nobody made her do it. She made her choice, and it wasn’t me.

The worst part is I fucking miss her. I miss her more than I thought I would. Hell, she was only here for a week, and she already had me tied up in knots. Seeing her again is only gonna make it worse. Right now, I’m not sure if I can handle that.

I’ve seen a lot of shit in my life, a lot of broken people. I’m pretty good at being able to tell when someone is at the end of their rope. I could see it in her eyes. Red definitely has some shit going on and none of it is good. Until she is ready to let me help her, or at least talk to me about it, there’s not a fucking thing I can do.

I know what I can do, though. I can drink myself into oblivion and try my best to forget the little redhead that has become my obsession.

Addy

MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
pounds into me, bringing out a pain-filled cry with each brutal downward stroke. His fingers tighten around my throat as he lets out another moan. Tears are pouring down my cheeks, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop them from falling. My entire body is in agony as he continues his violent assault on my body.

He started as soon as I walked in the room. Blake damn near ripped the buttons off my shirt when he tried to get me naked as quickly as possible. He has never been in a rush like this before; always preferred for me to put on a show just for him. He’s punishing me for not being available for him last week. The punishment is unlike anything I ever expected or even imagined in my worst nightmares. It’s painful, humiliating, and completely devastating.

“You’re mine, Little Bit. I own every inch of you,” he moans as he circles his hips. “No one can have you but me, no one.”

I want to shout, tell him that I don’t belong to him. I can’t, though. I have to keep my mouth shut and let him do this. I have to let him get it out of his system, before he goes home to my sister. Now, I have to wonder if this is why Alex came home from her honeymoon looking completely broken. If so, I’m not sure how her heart took it.

Blake lets out a final grunt before finally releasing my throat. He pulls out, slides his hand over his dick once then twice, before coming all over my thighs and stomach. Then, he drops all of his weight on me and bites down on my neck. When he’s done doing the damage, he lets out a groan as if he just finished running a fucking marathon.

I hold in my sob as I wait for him to roll off me. As soon as he’s clear, I sit up and grab my shirt from the end of the bed. Not even bothering to grab my bra from the floor, I slide the shirt on and carefully swing my legs from the bed.

My fingers shake as I try to button it, doing my best to hold it away from my tender breasts. I don’t think I could’ve gotten the bra on if I wanted to. Even through the white linen, I can see bruises starting to form. My eyes zero in to a red smear on the sleeve, reminding me of the bleeding scratches on my arm.

Blake has always been kind in his own way, almost lover like. This time, however, he was anything but gentle. Any trace of gentle was gone, as he took me brutally. Before, I always felt guilt for the pleasure he forced on me. For the first time, I am leaving his bed feeling nothing but physical pain. My body is so sore, I can’t even dwell on the fact that my sister is at home, waiting for Blake to come to her. I can’t even think about the fact I left Brew behind. Nothing, nothing is on my mind but agony and the want to get home to wash his filth off me.

“Now, you can tell me where you have been for the last week and what you’ve been doing while you were away,” he orders in a harsh voice, lying on the bed with a cruel smile playing on his lips. “I expect the truth this time, not another one of your pathetic lies that even your idiotic parents wouldn’t believe.”