FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest (23 page)

I once heard about a women who had a dream to visit every country in the world before she dies. This averaged out to seven countries a year, for 30 years. Her husband thought she was crazy, and society certainly didn’t look upon a dream like that with bright eyes. She believed in her dream so much that she challenged the status quo. Rather than taking a trip a year, like most people long to, she went big, and said, “I will travel to at least seven countries every year.” By doing so, she created her career as a traveler, a consultant and a writer describing her travels. She volunteered in Russia at a children’s school, and was able to make her dream a reality with enough persistence, passion and patience. Think about what you really want in life, and then go even bigger. Challenge yourself to think larger than life and then let go of the outcome. Trust that your dream is on its way to you because when we lead our lives with our hearts we can accomplish tremendous things. The life you’ve always wanted is on its way to you when you give it permission to breathe.

In
a
Nutshell:

1. Appreciate yourself and the contributions that you have to give this world.

2. Real happiness is making the most of the good times and the bad times.

3. Recognize the fear voice and quickly cover it up with three positive affirmations.

4. You do matter and you are fabulous just the way you are.

5. Humans are the only animal that manifests the negative thought patterns of comparison and self-ridicule. Think more like an animal and be in a state of flow.

6. Answer the questions: Who am I? What do I want? How can I help others?

7. Do what you love every day.

8. Always ask, “What if?”

9. Whatever the dream is, dream bigger.

Additional Resources:

Audio Meditation:
Find
Your
Happy:
Motivational
Mantras,
Track 7, “Perfect Just the Way You Are” (available on iTunes,
amazon.com
, and
playwiththeworld.com
shop).

Chapte
r
SIXTEEN

Mak
e
th
e
Impossibl
e
Possible

“To
get
something
you
never
had,
you
have
to
do
something
you
never
did.”
— Unknown

Live Outside of Your Comfort Zone

I
always liked the idea of chasing rainbows and making the impossible possible. Some people would argue that the idea of chasing rainbows has the connotation of trying really hard and never getting anywhere. There is the adage about never being able to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, so it feels and seems like an impossible task. But what if the impossible is really possible? The word possible is part of impossible. In fact the word is spelled “I’m • Possible.” Naturally our brains are conditioned to think that some things are too hard or too much work, but the very nature of impossible tasks is to push through, challenge, and evolve past the boundaries in order to literally make the impossible possible. Looking at it this way, chasing rainbows is fun and an exciting challenge. In reality, we push through fears and challenges that seem too hard, we grow, and we gain strength, courage, understanding, and wisdom.

Everybody has a comfort zone and that comfort zone is different for each person. Only you know what your comfort level is, but pushing that level is a gorgeous opportunity to find lasting happiness. When you are constantly evolving as a person, pushing through your own fear and trying new things, you naturally settle into the rhythm of life and love it fully. Whether pushing your comfort zone is trying a new career, trying something new like cooking, or diving into a relationship that is new, life will always present opportunities for us to try something new. When we try something new, we can then decide if we like it or not.

I coached a client who proclaimed how much he hated sushi. The thought of eating raw fish freaked him out but his new girlfriend really loved it. He refused to give into the notion of shoveling slimy scales into his mouth. I asked him if he had ever tried sushi, and he replied, “No.” The problem was obvious. He was so settled in his comfort zone that he was unwilling to try something new. I asked him what would happen if he tried sushi, would he die? I mean really what is the worst that would happen? Maybe he would spit it out because it tasted bad. My point was, “How would you ever know if you don’t try it?” He followed my advice and took his girlfriend to a surprise sushi date and he totally surprised himself. He learned that not all sushi is raw fish. To his dismay, he actually enjoyed it. Seeing how much his significant other enjoyed it increased his enjoyment, and now they have regular sushi dates.

Awesome
Opportunity:

1. What do you refuse to do because it is out of your comfort zone? Maybe you refuse to speak in front of an audience, buy a big-ticket item, or ask that cute barista out, because it is outside of your comfort zone? Make a list of things that you resist because they are uncomfortable.

2. Ask yourself what is on the other side of that experience, such as personal freedom, self-expression, or more peace.

3. What is the worst that will happen if you do it?

4. If you are okay with the outcome, then schedule a time to do it.

By practicing pushing through your comfort zone, your world will open up. You will experience new things and begin to see a longer horizon. Life will naturally feel more fulfilling.

What if the worst thing that “could” happen is death? Take, for example, skydiving. This activity was on my magic list and I asked myself, “What is it about this activity that is so exciting?” It was the thrill of free falling, pushing my fears aside and literally busting through the comfort zone of feeling comfortable, cozy, and secure on the ground. What is on the other side of this activity? It was the thrill of living, feeling and embracing life. What could happen if it went wrong? Well, I could die. I had to check in and make sure that I would have been okay with that outcome. I certainly don’t have a death wish, but when you live life to the fullest and love every moment, there are no regrets so dying becomes part of life. You can accept it without throwing all caution to the wind and being silly. I had to say to myself, “Well if I die, then it will be while I am doing something I love.” I choose to live life fully and that means taking calculated risks and busting through fears to live a purposeful, powerful life.

Take Risks, Be a Gutsy Guru

Taking risks is common when you embrace life and settle in to true happiness. Enjoying each moment is no longer risky, but a chance to try new things. At this point in your journey you will recognize the benefits of taking risks, ranging from relieving stress and growing as a person, to opening yourself up to meeting people who can help you reach your goals.

It takes guts to conjure up the courage to do things on the other side of fear. But every time we bust through it, we feel enlightened, happy and more fulfilled. If you find yourself still feeling a little stuck in trying to reach your goals, then think about your ultimate outcome. What do you want and why do you want it? The reason “why” should be the focus that pulls you through the fear. Only hold space for the feelings of happiness that come with accomplishing your goal.

One of my good friends set out three years ago to do something that had never been done before. He looked at the way things were, and said to himself, “This isn’t the best way. I can do better.” Just like Michelangelo, Oprah or the Beatles, he trusted his gut and followed though with action. He set out to change the way people exchange money. He would go out with friends to eat or do business transitions and notice that when exchanging money, it took a few days to get the funds from one hand from the other. He had a vision of instant transferring, faster than PayPal, faster and more convenient than anything that had ever been created before. He left his job to dive into his dream completely. He took a giant risk, leaving everything he knew, but he trusted his heart and pushed towards what he thought was a better way. For him the vision, feeling, and goal of helping others make online banking faster, more convenient, and easier to use was his guiding power. What is your guiding power? If you want to lose 15 pounds, hold the vision of a vibrant, healthy you in your mind. Focus on what you want. Feel the feelings associated with what you want. Whatever it is you want, focus on it until you get it.

My friend worked day in and day out, and now the product is in the marketplace. He is a millionaire and has literally changed the way money transfers can occur. His company is the way of the future. It took one man with an idea, a vision, and putting action behind it, then believing in it so intently that he gave his dream everything he had. This is courage; this takes guts.

Being a gutsy guru means taking chances, like my friend, going against the grain to do what feels right for you. To be truly happy we must let go of what others think is best for us. If my friend listened to every doubter along the way, he would not have changed the face of banking for the better. If he doubted himself and refused to listen to his gut then he would not be a millionaire. Ask yourself if doubters are keeping you from what you want. What are the external sources? What internal dialog is playing? Recognize them and release them to the universe. The doubter does not belong in the gutsy equation. Being a gutsy guru also means taking chances and trusting yourself. Every single person has an intuition, a gut feeling, that guides us to happiness. When we hone in on this feeling, we can experience abundant happiness and real lasting joy. Listening to your gut is as simple as learning to trust yourself.

The human intuition is the guiding power that protects us from harm and keeps us on course. Have you ever felt a certain way, maybe nervous or anxious, about a situation and it caused you to take a different route, and then afterwards you found that that route was indeed the right one? This is the intuition at work. It will always guide us in the direction we need to go. When we ignore it, our feelings of anxiety, rage, fear, and depression take over. I sat in a deep depression for so many years because I refused to listen to my intuition. It kept saying, “This isn’t right. Don’t do this. This doesn’t fit who you are,” but I ignored it, all in an effort to find my happiness. When I stopped to listen to that intuition, it turned out my happiness was inside. Listening to our intuitive voice will always take us to happiness. In order to access a constant state of happiness and flow we must trust our internal guidance system.

Master Fear

Fear is not a bad thing; it actually helps us know when we are getting close to greatness. Fear is connected to the ego and the ego wants to protect us. The left-brain rational mind, often called the ego, is that little nasty that keeps us from trying new experiences, doing new things and spending time with new people. Learning to recognize it as a friend on our journey to happiness is one more step to happiness. When we let go of fear and its ability to control our thoughts, we can balance out our lives. Fear is just an indicator, and after a bit of calling it out, it begins to get smaller. Once we recognize it as fear and not as us it becomes much smaller and more approachable. So call out your fear. What is it and why is there?

We have done quite a bit of work up to this point to release fears, but it is important to take it one step further and tackle them for good. Remember, earlier we asked ourselves what believing in our fear cost? Usually it keeps us from what we want. Then we asked why we believe this fear. Usually something happened a long time ago, and the ego stepped in and said, “I don’t ever want that to happen again,” so it caused us to avoid the situation. Maybe you fear speaking in front of a crowd and you realize that when you were seven, in show and tell, you dropped your toy, and the entire class laughed at you. You felt embarrassed and separated from the rest of the class. Since then you have hated getting up in front of a group. Explore your fears and try to get in touch with their source. The next, and final step, is to recognize the reality of the situation, the real truth of your fear. That fear is fake, and not real. To master your fear is as simple as reminding yourself what is the truth.

Fear shows up in many ways. Notice how it shows up and how you act. As I mentioned, fear used to paralyze me. I literally froze up and couldn’t move forward. I cried a lot because I knew what was on the other side of my fear was happiness. It wasn’t until I sat with this feeling and recognized that fear was just an indicator that I was getting close to the unknown. I was scooting outside my comfort zone. I busted through it. Real happiness exists on the other side of fear. Take off into the new you by looking at your fears, challenging them and busting through. It is always better on the other side.

Continuous Effort = Unlocked Potential

People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their version of reality, which is often limited. When you learn to embrace the
Play
with
the
World
mentality, life becomes full of opportunities and when you set your mind to something, it will come true. People around you may have a hard time keeping up, but the people who stay close to your side are your real friends. Those who cast judgment are usually the type of people who are afraid of change and fear the unknown. They are not the people who will be game changers, inventors or even people who follow their own heart. You have big dreams and a lot to do and see in this life, so when you do set you mind on a goal the last and final step is to put continuous effort towards achieving it.

A lot of law of attraction books and self-help mavens suggest that if you think about it, it will come. In her book,
The
Secret,
Rhonda Byrne made this notion available to the masses. Think about what you want, feel it and you will attract it. This is partially true. This does work, but the part that most people get frustrated with is that it doesn’t always come true when they think it should. Part of manifesting and making the most out of your life is to continue to put effort towards what you want, even when you don’t necessarily “see” it becoming a reality. Don’t ever give up.