FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest (20 page)

There is a difference between someone who gives without expecting anything in return, those who give expecting something back, as well as those who give because they think it will make them a “good” person. When we give there is an energy that is exchanged, and the giver is always the one who receives greater benefits. Volunteers often see greater benefits than those they are serving, but when someone is wrapped up in wondering what is in it for them, the energy is shifted. The receiver has a difficult time receiving the full capacity from help. Understanding that when we give, we get so much more will often trigger us to want to give more.

Recently I had the opportunity to go to Jamaica to cover the Caribbean Yoga Conference. During the conference, a group of us visited the SOS Children’s Orphanage to volunteer our time and teach the children yoga. I was ecstatic to go! I remember thinking on my way there how much of a difference we would be making for these children. We would be teaching them yoga, and the power of breath and movement, but in my experience I got so much more in return. It wasn’t about me helping them at all. They helped me. The children taught me how to be present, how to appreciate the moment, and how to laugh at the silly things in life. It was one of the most profound moments of my life, and I feel honored to be one of the only journalists to cover the event.

There Is Always Something You Can Do

On March 11, 2011, I woke up excited because it was my birthday. I welcomed in the beautiful, fresh, new day. The TV was on, and as I walked downstairs I saw that a giant tsunami had hit the coast of Japan and wiped out cities and towns, leaving thousands missing. My birthday happiness changed from a euphoric rush to devastation in an instant. All I could think was how could I help? I listened to the strained screams of victims; I saw dogs drowning and homes turned upside down. Suddenly my having a day all about me because it was my birthday became unimportant.

Many people experienced the same horror in watching the events unfold on television and also felt helpless. The situation seemed so far removed from us in our cozy homes in America that many felt numb to the tragedy. I spoke to many people who said, “I feel helpless; there is nothing I can do.” Trust that there is always something we can do. I recognized that I could make a difference, so I started a fundraising campaign to help raise money to help the victims. I went to Mercy Corps and created my own fundraising page. I asked people to donate to my campaign rather than buying me birthday presents. I took action and did something. Even though my efforts were small, I could make a difference and I did. After raising $100 for the Japan Relief Efforts, the head of Mercy Corps sent me a personal thank you and a certificate of appreciation. When I opened up the certificate it was a gentle reminder that my friends and I had made a difference. Together we raised more than $100 dollars. That is better than zero dollars, and it went to help people less fortunate than us. There is always something you can do and it starts with asking yourself, “How can I help?”

Being of service to others is one of the highest forms of enlightenment. When we serve others we recognize that we are part of a greater plan. We see that everyone is connected and that is why the
Play
with
the
World
mentality exists. It is not just about adventure, play, and fun. Sure, that is a big part of it, but underneath it is about recognizing that our own lives matter and seeing that we are connected to a greater plan. Every single thing you do affects another person. We are all one. Sometimes it takes world tragedies to bring us together.

To see another person connected to you is an easy way to offer help. No one is any different. When we remove all of the different hair colors, skin colors, weight, clothes, and personalities, we are all the same. We all want love; we all want to make a difference and feel connected to life. We need each other to get to where we want to go. So when you think about your goals and your personal dreams, recognize that they are not just for yourself, but also for the world. Every single thing you say and do has an impact and is part of the plan. By giving more we receive more.

Little Things Make the Big Difference

Sometimes the little things are all that matter. The little things we do for another person are often bigger and better than the things we do on a grand scale. Opening a door for a stranger, buying your friend lunch unexpectedly, taking out the garbage when your significant other is tired from the day, picking flowers to put in a vase to liven up your room, buying ointment for that rash that has been irritating you — all of these may seem small, but the effects are plentiful. Taking care of yourself and doing small things for yourself is just as important as helping others and the bigger things we do. Troubling or annoying situations slow us down. Buying cream for a rash you keep ignoring, or replacing a desk chair that has been causing a chronic backache will remove these deterrents. It is in the details that life can flow. By focusing on the details and the little things, we can open up space and remove negative influences. By starting with you, the ripple effect can move outwards.

For example, I had been having horrible stomachaches and groggy, fuzzy headaches that felt like migraines for a few weeks. I woke up feeling hung over. I realized I was not drinking enough water, and had been consuming massive amounts of sugar. I had been celebrating birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and family reunions. It seemed every day was another reason to go crazy and love the sugar. When I woke up, I realized that the actions I took the previous day were affecting my current day, so I worked on being present and taking care of myself in the moment, especially the little things, like making sure I drank more water. I started a detox program and became more conscious of what I put in my mouth once again.

Our bodies are able to tell us what is going on. The way our body feels is the best indicator of how we are treating ourselves. How we treat ourselves is how we treat others and the world. If you are constantly feeling sick, tired, or depressed there is a reason. Our bodies reflect and show what is really going on behind the scenes. What we do to our bodies is what we do to the world. Furthermore our bodies are the best show and tell for how we are relating to the world.

Awesome
Opportunity:

1. Check in with your body, how do you feel right now?

2. What actions did you take today to create this current mood?

3. If you don’t like the way you are feeling, ask yourself why your body is reacting this way. What is it trying to show you?

For example, maybe you get headaches often and you also drink mounds of caffeine. If you go a day without drinking your coffee, you may experience a “caffeine headache.” Our natural reaction is to go get caffeine to improve the way we’re feeling, but it is most often our body’s way of saying, “Please stop drinking so much caffeine.” We mask our feelings and emotions with things, and the majority of the time our bodies become the real victim.

Self-help authors and my dear friends, Christine Arylo and Gabrielle Bernstein, lead a seminar series called the “Fear Cleanse.” In the course, students learn about the body and its intention in the world. Most people abuse their bodies. Getting honest about how we use our own bodies is an essential step in seeing how we are connected to the greater good.

Some common ways we abuse our body are using it as a punching bag when we beat it up mentally, making it our slave, exhausting, and overworking it. We neglect it, forget about it, and don’t take care of its basic needs. We treat it like a garbage can by dumping garbage in it and making poor food choices. Sometimes we whip it into shape, by working out extra long or going commando on ourselves. All of these examples are shared in the “Fear Cleanse” workshop. I share them with you here because what we do to ourselves, we do unto others. If we are not taking care of ourselves, then giving to others and the world will be a wasted effort. We must first take care of ourselves and treat ourselves with respect and admiration, or no amount of giving in the world can fill up the void.

Awesome
Opportunity:

1. Ask how you are currently mistreating your body.

2. Write down the answer.

3. What is this trying to teach you?

A good exercise is to recognize that everything our bodies do is a reflection of what we are currently thinking and doing. Our human bodies are the fastest indicator that something is wrong. By learning to recognize our bodies as a tool for guidance we can open up the possibilities to enjoy life more. When our body needs to rest, we can give it rest. When our body is in pain, ask, “Why is this part of my body aching?” Louise Hay, author of best-selling, self-help, spiritual book,
You
Can
Heal
Your
Life,
makes a direct comparison between bodily illnesses and the thought patterns that created them. Every disease is really “dis-ease” and we have the power to reverse it with our actions and energy. By focusing on being intentional and deliberate, we can start the ripple effect in quick order. When we try to be there for other people but we are neglecting ourselves, and the energy exchanged is weakened. Therefore, before we give we must always make sure we are taking care of ourselves first. When you put yourself first, the rest of the world can find balance within your balance. To find balance you must give and get, starting with treating yourself kindly and listening to your body.

In
a
Nutshell:

1. Giving does not always involve spending money. Be creative with how you give.

2. There is always something you can do. It starts with asking yourself how you can help.

3. Listen to your body. It will tell you everything you need to know.

4. All disease and discomfort is a manifestation of a thought pattern in your mind. Choose positive thoughts.

Chapte
r
FOURTEEN

Mak
e
Mothe
r
Natur
e
You
r
BFF

“Knowing
trees,
I
understand
the
meaning
of
patience.
Knowing
grass,
I
can
appreciate
persistence.”
— Hal Borland

Nature Is a Secret Weapon

N
ature is one of the best weapons for fighting a down mood. When we are feeling depressed or stuck in a rut, the balance of nature helps to calm us. By simply stepping out into the grass, we can find a sense of peace otherwise lost in between walls and manufactured environments. Mother Nature has therapeutic effects on the human body. Humans crave a connection with nature that dates back to the very first humans who lived amongst lush forests, tropical gardens growing abundantly, and wild animals running free. People walked around engaging with nature, touching the leaves on the trees, walking barefoot through the grass. Man has found solace in nature for many centuries. When was the last time you spent quality time in nature? Nature is like a best friend; it will always be there, even when you aren’t available. Nature will always be open to playing and spending time with you, even when it isn’t convenient for you. Imagine if you treat nature with the same respect that you do a best friend. Why not make nature your new BFF?

The benefits of spending a little time outside are tremendous. For starters it gives you a natural high. Smelling the fresh morning air and feeling the cool breeze is one simple way to feel alive and fully in your body. If we started each morning with a breath of fresh air before we even checked email, brushed teeth, or ate breakfast, we would see immediate returns on this simple activity. Wake up each morning, step outside, and breathe in all of life. Listen to the birds greeting you, feel the warm sun shine down on your cheeks, balanced with the cool morning breeze. Breathe in and out for a few minutes and start your day fresh. Nature has played an integral role in the quest for happiness and personal fulfillment of many historical figures such as Ralph Waldo Emerson, John Muir, and Charles Darwin. Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959), architect and philosopher, advised, “Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you.”

Becoming one with nature can also help reduce stress. A study established that a view of nature, even through a window, speeds recovery from surgery, improves work performance, and increases job satisfaction.
I once worked in an environment that had no windows. It was like a dungeon, and the turnover rate was extremely high. It is no coincidence that being closed off from the outside world will increase depression. Choose to embrace nature. Sit by a window, or set up your desk outside on the deck to breathe in fresh air. Take mini recess breaks to literally go outside and play with the earth. Nature will reward you in many ways. First, it will provide an instant upgrade of your mood to feeling more, calm, balanced, and at peace.

Being in nature also gives us a sense of connectedness, meaning, and purpose. There is a sense of chaotic order in the way nature works; the plants and animals are interconnected in a series of complex relationships. Everything coexists in nature without the necessity of outside intervention. It is a brilliant system that has existed successfully since the beginning of time, providing a sense of structure, coherence, and reliability. Realizing that human beings are an essential component of this larger structure can supply a sense of purpose and belonging.

Respect and enjoyment of nature also leads to a sense of spirituality and an appreciation for powers larger than oneself. The wilderness teaches that each individual is unique, but also part of the larger whole. In a world bogged down by social, economical and cultural pressures, standards of conduct, and the demands of others, nature gives people a chance to appreciate a grander sense that the world is alive, fascinating, and meaningful. This universal appeal crosses all cultures and time periods. If you are feeling down, just step outside into nature and see your mood switch around.