FIND YOUR HAPPY: An Inspirational Guide to Loving Life to Its Fullest (22 page)

Rule number one for mastering a manifesting life is to kick the doubter to the curb. When it says mean things, punch it back with positive comments. For every negative comment, say three positive ones. For example, maybe you have a goal of learning a new language but your doubter comes in and says, “You aren’t even going to the country anytime soon. You will never use that language; it is dumb and a waste of time.” Your job is to recognize this voice as just a cover, not part of you. It is not you saying this, just that little mean monster on your left shoulder. Gently say, “I hear you, but I have always wanted to learn French, and Paris is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I will go one day, and I will be more fulfilled knowing that I am bilingual. Plus it will look great on my resume.”

See what we did? Boom! Boom! Pow! We sucker punched that negative nastiness right back to No-Go-Ville. Next time you want to try to make something happen, first recognize that you do matter and the fact that you had the inspiration come into your head means it is worth pursuing. Cast your fishing line out and start catching big dreams. You do matter and you are fabulous just the way you are.

Shake What Your Mama Gave You

The same way that you are uniquely you and no one else in the world can do what you do, no one else in the world looks just like you. In fact, no two people in the world have the same body shape in the exact proportions. It took me a long time to realize this. I used to compare myself to other people and wonder why my thighs were always bigger. It wasn’t until I realized that the same little voice that keeps us from following through on our dreams was the same little nasty thing that was telling me horrible things about myself. I couldn’t look in the mirror and see anything good. This contributed to the depression and the addictions. I was just stuck in a big vicious cycle.

When we let little nasty into our thoughts, little nasty can do some damaging things. The same way we are what we eat, we are what we think. I would tell myself I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t get the job because I was too overweight or underweight or whatever stage I was in that that particular moment. I would belittle myself and say such horrible things that it made it impossible to love myself or even give anyone else real lasting love. In order to get love, you have to give it. No matter how much someone else loves you or you love other people, if you don’t love yourself then it can never be enough. In order to really take off and embrace every aspect of your life you must start with you, which means loving what your mama gave you. Thick thighs, thin hair, blotchy skin — whatever it is that has you hung up — let it go and know that you are awesome because no one else in the world looks like you.

Do you think animals go around comparing themselves to one another? Does a squirrel go up to another squirrel and say, “Dang it, your tail is longer than mine! My hands are smaller than yours. I suck so much because I can’t get as many nuts as you”? No they don’t. Humans are the only animal that manifests negative thought patterns of comparison and self-ridicule. Recognizing that it doesn’t do us any good can be the first step to releasing it. Just let go of comparisons and any outcome connected to how you look.

Once I recognized that I was a victim of my own negative nasty thoughts, I quickly switched gears. I started to say kind things to myself. I would smile and thank the universe for my healthy body. I would hold gratitude for all of the athletic, adventurous things my healthy body lets me do. Slowly, I started to let go of the negative perceptions. By saying kind things to yourself and loving yourself for who you are you will feel more free and joyous in life. It is a beautiful feeling when you finally do accept yourself for who you are. It took me many years and many hours of conscious thinking to arrive at a place of self-satisfaction but I can tell you now that I am here, it is beautiful to no longer be consumed by calorie counting, obsessing over workouts or dreading my next wardrobe reinvention. I am happy with me. Being happy with everything about yourself is one key part of
Find
Your
Happy.
Bring your happy back by loving yourself fully.

Awesome
Opportunity:

Here are some simple things to do right now to get you on the right path to self-love.

1. Recognize that you are you, uniquely you, and no one else can do, be, or look like you.

2. Write down your strengths. What are you good at? What do you like to do?

3. Recognize that you make a difference.

4. What is something nice that someone has said to you lately? Write out something nice to say about you. Make a mini list of attributes and positive qualities that are true about you. Write it down and read it every morning.

5. When the negative nasty comes in, squash it with positive loving. What is something your negative nasty has said lately? Now respond back with three positive truths. Squash that little bugger.

Shine Your Light

What happens when you accept yourself for who you are and follow your heart to discover your true purpose? Your inner light can shine through. You are able to be true to yourself and represent a place of integrity, honor and admiration. People will want to be around you all the time. You will be the person in the room that people cannot take their eyes away from. People will say they want what you have and it is all because you are being the real, honest, authentic you. Ask yourself if you are currently in love with every aspect of your life. At this point in your
Find
Your
Happy
journey, you should be getting pretty close because the real magic of being happy in life is learning and accepting the good times and the bad.

When we are in times of trouble, we reach out to loved ones, to the universe, and to our inner self. When we reach within and count on our wisdom, experience, courage, and ability to choose positive thoughts, then we find ourselves in a sense of peace, a joy that floods throughout every aspect of our lives. Recognize that the universe is working with you to make your life even more awesome than you could possibly imagine. We all have an inner light that wants to shine brightly. Letting the real you come out and play is a magical experience. Your light will shine so brightly that the rest of the world will need shades. You will be the cool friends’ cooler friend.

Life happens and it is up to us to make the most out of it. We will begin to see life open up and opportunities fly into our daily routines when we ask ourselves the real questions: Who am I? Who do I want to be? How can I help others? It all starts with being thankful for what you do have, loving you for yourself and what you do have to offer, and then taking the steps to offer your services to the world.

Awesome
Opportunity:

1. Make a list of things you love to do.

2. Challenge yourself to make sure you do something off your list everyday.

3. A simple equation to help you get to happy:

Do
what
you
love
everyday
=
happy
you.

Do What Makes You Happy

Another simple trick to staying happy is to do what you love, and do it every day. When we do something we love, we are usually good at it. When we do what we are good at, we feel useful. When we feel useful, we feel validated. You see where this leads . . . abundant happiness and pure joy. Life is a giant roller coaster, but doing what we love to do as much as possible will make it easier to handle the uphill and fast downhill transitions. What you love may change from day to day, week to week or year to year, but that is okay. Trusting and understanding that we are always changing and evolving as people is part of the process.

For instance, a couple years ago I was really into endurance sports. I ran half marathons, competed in half ironman triathlons and rode century (100 mile) bike races every weekend. The process of training for such grueling events was rewarding to me, so I trained every day. I found immense happiness in participating in these events. Setting a goal, working towards it, pushing my body to extremes, and then competing with thousands of other crazy athletes and getting a new medal at the end of each race were all parts of the fulfillment. Then one day, it wasn’t fun anymore. It became a chore, and I resisted it. At first, I tried to overcome my resistance. I was so confused about why something I loved so much was all of a sudden so hard to do. Then I recognized that it was part of my journey, a phase. That chapter of my life was just that, a chapter.

The current chapter that I am in still involves eating and being healthy, but not training for any event. I experienced those things and they helped pull me out of a depression. For now, I have to be okay with that being in my past and stop trying to make it my present. For awhile, I kept signing up for events, not training for them and then missing the event. I was trying to be someone I no longer was or no longer could be. I outgrew that stage of my life. There is no telling when and if this love for endurance sports will return, but I recognize and appreciate that it had its place and time in my life.

The same thing applies to relationships and living circumstances. Not all relationships are meant to last. Each person, job, home, etc. that comes into our lives is there to help us, enlighten us and fulfill us at that particular moment. But we change. With every new person we meet and interact with, we also evolve. With every new experience we go through, we change. People don’t ever really leave us, their roles just change. Change is good, and learning to be okay with change is part of shining your true authentic light. So ask yourself if you are holding onto anything too tightly. Perhaps there is an older habit that you used to have that you wish you still did; like running, baking or spending time with your family. Maybe you are ready to release habits and patterns that no longer serve you. Is it time to say “when?” When your heart feels trapped, then it is time to say “when.” Maybe a relationship no longer serves you. If true, it is time to let go. Holding onto something that we used to like is one of the reasons we get depressed. Shifting our awareness to recognize that life has many chapters, and each chapter of our story evolves and helps us grow is a simple way to accept the losses. Buddha said, “Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” Learning to let go of past versions of yourself and focus on the present is one step to enlightenment and living a purposeful, conscious, happy, peaceful life.

The Sky Is Not the Limit When There
Are Footprints
on the Moon

When Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, “Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.” And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb. Thomas Edison didn’t look at his current reality and accept it for what it was. Living by candlelight was all anyone had ever known until his brain had an idea, a “what if?” moment. Wondering if there was a better to create the light bulb. Using electricity for light became the normal way to live life and candlelight was a thing of the past. The same goes for any other monumental shift in history, whether it is Madonna, moving to New York with $20 in her pocket to pursue her dream to become a pop star entertainer or Barack Obama campaigning to be the first African American president in America. No progress in the world is made without people moving on their inklings. All major advances in society started with one person saying to themselves, “There has got to be a better way.”

From man walking on the moon to a black man in the south declaring “I have a dream,” life moves forward with people who challenge the current reality. These types of people are game changers. They look at what is, and say, “I think I can do better.” They do not settle or throw their hands up in the air and give up; they challenge the current state by putting their idea into action. Authors who publish books, songwriters who perform their own music, politicians who get elected, chefs who own their own restaurants — all of these people have a few things in common: persistence, patience, and an ability to listen to their heart and question the status quo. Think for a moment about your favorite artist or your favorite musician. Maybe you have seen them play in concert. When they first step on stage, think about how you feel.

When I watch my favorite performers, something takes over. I see it in them; they became almost transcendent as they dance around on stage singing magnificent lyrics. I am so inspired that I am often moved to tears. It is in these moments that I feel connected to them, as I recognize in them what I want for myself: to be doing what I am put on earth to do. Everyone is created for something so unique that only they can do it.

The band U2, for example, has had a 30+ year career moving people around the world with their soulful music. As they do what they are naturally so gifted at, they give back to millions by inspiring fans through their soulful music and uplifting vocals. What about the band Maroon 5? Same dream to be famous musicians but a completely different vocal ensemble, often attracting different types of fans. If you have a dream to become something that you currently are not, like a famous book author, or a public speaker, or maybe you want to go back to school, travel overseas to be a teacher, whatever your dream is, do not let other things get in your way. It will be easy for the nasty little voice to creep in and say, “Your book topic has already been written about.” “No one wants to pay to hear you talk.” “There are already too many teachers out of work.” Kick that little voice away. Imagine if Bono from the band U2 said, “Oh, there is already too much music out there, and all the songs about love and hope have already been written.” U2 is so unique with their personal twists that no one in the world can even compare. The same goes for you, my dear. Whatever it is that you want to do, be, and have is yours when you allow yourself to believe in the dream. No one can do it like you. Don’t shoot for the moon, because there are planets far beyond that. I always say if you are going to aim for the moon aim higher.