Finding Bluefield (10 page)

“It’s not such a big deal.”

“It is a big deal.”

“Okay, it was a big deal. But nothing happened.” Nicky opened her car door. “Do you smell that?” Nicky sat behind the wheel, lifted the bucket of ribs, and offered it to Barbara.

“Not now.” Barbara rolled down Nicky’s window and closed her door. She leaned over. “Are we going to raise the baby together or not? Do I have any say about what to do, or is it all up to you?”

“Of course we’re going to do this together. But it’s different now,” Nicky said. “He’s inside me, and I don’t have a choice but to take him with me. After he’s born, things will be different. And let me tell you, I am so ready for him to be born.”

“I found out today that I can stay if I want to.”

“What do you mean?”

“They offered me the fellowship.”

“You got it. Now we really have something to celebrate. Good thing I got those ribs,” Nicky said. “Did you accept?”

“Not yet.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know. It’s confusing. There’s the mediocre pay,” Barbara said.

“But we have mediocre expenses.”

“That’ll change after the baby is born. But mostly, it wasn’t my first choice.”

“Are you used to getting your first choice?”

“I’m used to trying for it.”

*

“How long have you been here?” Nicky asked Barbara as she opened her eyes.

“Since they brought you back, Mom.” Barbara approached the bed. She was holding a cup of coffee that she slowly drank. Out in the hallway, the hospital was waking up. Trays rattled, phones rang. “Your chart said that the birth was uneventful.”

“You doctors talk funny. It certainly was not uneventful. I gave birth,” Nicky said.

“I just meant everything went well.”

“Have you seen Paul?” Nicky asked.

Barbara sat at the edge of the bed. “I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He has your eyes.” Barbara put down her coffee.

“Can the nurses bring him?” Nicky said. “I only saw him for a little while and then I fell asleep”

“I’ll go tell them you’re awake.”

A nurse came with Paul, and Nicky pushed herself up. She took Paul and asked Barbara, “How was this uneventful?”

“He’s falling asleep,” Barbara said.

“He had a rough day,” Nicky said. “You’re allowed to kiss him. Everyone kisses babies. You’re not going to ruin your career if someone sees you kissing a baby.”

“Depends on whose baby.”

An orderly came in with a tray of food, and the nurse returned to take Paul back to the nursery. That’s when Barbara left for rounds. That’s when Nicky lit a cigarette and dialed her sister. “Hey, Carol-Ann,” she said, “I had a boy.”

“When?”

“A few hours ago.”

“I knew you were having a boy,” Carol-Ann responded. “Didn’t I tell you you were having a boy? That’s why you were late.”

“I was on time. On my due date.”

“Yeah, but my three girls were all early. What’s he look like? What’s his name?”

“He doesn’t have much hair, but what he has is dark,” Nicky said. “I think he’ll have dark eyes. They have Daddy’s shape. You know the way his were deep and all.”

“Like yours.”

“He’s gorgeous, perfect. I just love him.”

“What’s his name?” Carol-Ann said.

“Paul.”

“Daddy would like that,” Carol-Ann said. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s nice not to be pregnant anymore.”

“What was the birth like?”

“I hated it,” Nicky said. “You did this three times?”

“I might do it again.”

“You pregnant?”

“Not now. Take pictures,” Carol-Ann said. “Lots of pictures. And send me one right away.”

“I’m getting tired.”

“Give baby Paul a big kiss from his Aunt Carol-Ann.”

*

Nicky sat on the porch holding Paul while Barbara unloaded the car. The afternoon sky was bright and cloudless. Barbara brought over the carriage and Nicky placed Paul inside and covered him.

“I can’t wait to stop wearing these maternity clothes.”

“You look great,” Barbara said, leaning over to give Nicky a long kiss. “You both look great.”

“Let’s take Paul to the pond.” Nicky stood.

“You don’t want to go inside?”

“First I want to show him the farm.”

Barbara pushed the carriage while Nicky walked alongside. They slipped behind the barn and followed the tractor path through the corn seedlings. In the years since her father died, Nicky had been renting her land to their neighbor, Mr. Jamison. The farm was paid for, had been for a long time, and the rent money paid the taxes and gave Nicky a decent income. Rumor had it that Mr. Jamison landed a contract to supply pork to the army. With the Stewart land, Mr. Jamison had the largest farm in the county. He’d offered to buy the farm from Nicky after her father died. Had offered a more than fair price. Mr. Jamison and Nicky’s father had been friends since they were kids. They played football together in high school, went to the state finals their junior year, and he was not about to take advantage of Paul’s daughter, a Southern woman, not like that scoundrel who got Nicky pregnant. You tell me who the father is, Mr. Jamison had offered Nicky on several occasions, and I’ll haul his ass out here to take responsibility for that child.

Nicky stopped in the cornfields and looked over the four-inch-high seedlings.

“What?” Barbara said, turning around to look at Nicky.

“Nothing.” She caught up and gave Paul a kiss. “Everything is perfect.” She put her arms around Barbara. “I love you,” she said. “I love Paul. I love this farm.”

At the edge of the woods, they maneuvered the carriage onto the narrow path that led to the pond. When they arrived, Barbara took the blanket and spread it on the shore. She sat with Paul on her lap. “Your mother and I fell in love here,” Barbara said to Paul.

“Tell him more.”

“You brought me here without asking and then you just stripped in front of me. I thought you were so feisty.”

“I thought you said it was when you looked into my eyes that first time at the diner,” Nicky said.

“Yeah, that too. But here is where I was sure.”

“Because you saw me naked?”

“That never hurts.”

“But you weren’t going to act on it?”

“No.”

“You needed me to do that.”

“I didn’t know that you would.”

“But I was the one who made the move.”

“Take all the credit if you need to,” Barbara said. “Do you think if Kennedy had lost we would be together?”

“Sure, cause I still would have gotten drunk and come over to see you.” Nicky leaned over and kissed Barbara. Nicky kicked her shoes off. Her body, sore from the effort of childbirth, felt fresh and energetic, freed from the great task of sustaining another life inside her. She rolled up her pants, stood, and waded in the shallow water. “We might have to put a fence up.”

“Why?”

“Paul could wander out here alone.”

“We have some time before he can make it out here on his own. By then you’ll teach him to swim.” Paul began to cry.

“Let me feed him,” she said, making her way back to the blanket. Paul started feeding and stopped crying.

“What’s Paul going to call me?” Barbara asked.

“What do you want to be called?”

“I don’t know,” Barbara said. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I want him to know who I am. How will he know who I am?”

“You’re his mother,” Nicky said.

“You’re his mother, Nicky.”

“He’s a lucky guy. He has two mothers.”

“He can’t call me Mom. At school, they’ll say, give this to your mother. What will he say? Which one?”

“That would be funny.” Nicky shifted Paul to her other breast. “I wish he could say that. I wish he could. How about Aunt Barbara?”

“That would mean that we were sisters. Or I was his father’s sister. Lots of questions without answers. It’s too confusing.”

“They’ll just figure we’re a couple of spinsters. Old maids get called aunt.”

“Great. I get to be an old maid. Still, that’s everyone else. What about Paul? How will he know who I am unless he knows what to call me?”

“Barbara, I can’t believe you’re all worked up about this. He’ll know who you are.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re Mommy.”

“Then you could be Daddy. He’ll call me Mommy and call you Daddy.”

“Nicky, I want him to know who I am.”

“He’ll know. You’ll feed him, clean him, bathe him. You’ll hold him and rock him. Kiss him and hug him. You think he won’t know you love him?” Nicky said. “He’ll see us together and he’ll know that we love each other and that we love him.”

“But what will he call me?”

“What about Barbara? He’ll call me Nicky and you Barbara and we’ll call him Paul and we’ll all be on a first-name basis and we’ll be happy forever after.”

“He needs a mommy. You’ll be Mommy.”

“You’re jealous?”

“I just want to fit into this picture. I don’t want what he calls me to be awkward or create a distance. I don’t want it to put anything between us.”

“Barbara, we’re just going to have to make things up as we go along.”

*

Nicky pulled a cigarette out of the pack lying on the kitchen table and lit it. “What time do you get in?” she said.

“Four, Virginia time,” Carol-Ann answered.

“Barbara will still be at the hospital so I’ll pick you up with Paul.”

“That’s okay,” Carol-Ann said.

“It’s no problem.” Nicky twirled the phone cord like a jump rope.

“Even if you didn’t just give birth, we’d rent a car. There’s five of us now, you know, and with you and Paul, that’s a big crowd. I can’t wait to see him.”

Paul began to cry.

“Is that him?” Carol-Ann asked.

“I need to nurse him.” Nicky put out her cigarette. She shifted the phone and lifted Paul from his carriage. “He’s so cute when he nurses.”

“Is he on a schedule?” Carol-Ann said.

“You know I hate wearing a watch.”

“How often do you nurse him?”

“Whenever he’s hungry”

“Even at night?” Carol-Ann said.

“The night is Barbara’s. I hate getting up. She’s used to it. She changes him and tries to rock him back to sleep with a pacifier. If she can’t, she brings him to me to nurse and then puts him back in his crib. He’s in our room so you won’t even hear him wake up when you’re here.”

“Really? He sleeps in your room?”

“Sure,” Nicky said.

“Speaking of sleeping,” Carol-Ann coughed. “Richard wanted me to ask if you and Barbara could sleep in different rooms while we’re visiting.”

“What?”

“Claire’s almost nine and she’s been asking questions.”

“What kind of questions?” Nicky said.

“About her Aunt Nicky and Aunt Barbara having a baby,” Carol-Ann said. “We don’t know what to answer her.”

“Tell her the truth.”

“She’ll get confused,” Carol-Ann said.

“Life is confusing.”

“Just think about it, little sister.”

*

Carol-Ann, Richard, and their three girls arrived at the farmhouse without any luggage.

“We checked into the Bluefield Motor Inn on the way over,” Richard said to Barbara who came out to help.

“They have a neat pool, Aunt Barbara,” Claire said.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Barbara asked. “We got all the rooms ready for you.”

“Richard surprised me and the girls,” Carol-Ann said. “He told us on the plane.”

“I know how hard it is after you have a baby if you don’t have help,” Richard said. “You don’t need to take care of us too.”

“Enough about us. I want to see Paul,” Carol-Ann said, heading inside.

After they doted over Paul, after they took turns holding, kissing, hugging Paul, and after dinner and desert were eaten and the dishes cleared from the table, Carol-Ann told Nicky, “We should get going. It’s been a long day for the kids and I promised them they could get in the pool before bed.”

“We’ll be back early tomorrow,” Richard added.

“Why don’t you stay?” Nicky asked Carol-Ann. “Richard, how about if you take the girls and I’ll drive Carol-Ann back later?”

“He never puts the kids to sleep,” Carol-Ann said.

“I can handle my girls,” Richard said. “Come on, princess,” he said, lifting Roberta. “Who wants to go swimming?”

Richard left and Carol-Ann helped Barbara wash the dishes. Nicky sat at the kitchen table nursing Paul.

“That was a great dinner,” Carol-Ann said, drying the dishes.

“I couldn’t eat garlic the whole time I was pregnant,” Nicky said.