Finding Elizabeth (12 page)

***

Over the next few days Claire was confined
to her bed. Every time she tried to get up Janet and Daniel were
right there taking care of her. Daniel and Steve continued bringing
up things from the basement and Claire waited anxiously for Daniels
account of the items they had found.

It wouldn't be long before she would be able
to put weight on her ankle. The first thing she would do is go look
through the items to see what could be used in the store and more
importantly, for any information on Elizabeth. She hadn't known
about the Van Whites for long, but she felt a connection and she
longed for any information she could find about the family.

Nervously Daniel walked into the room,
"Claire, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stay in one of
the upstairs rooms? My apartment is being renovated and I can't
stay there for a while," Daniel lied.

Knowing he wasn't telling the truth, Claire
smiled, "Yes, of course. There are plenty of rooms, just take your
pick." She knew his apartment wasn't being renovated, he just
wanted to be nearby to take care of her. Claire thought it was
sweet of him to be so protective. And if she were being honest with
herself, she liked having him around. Things seemed so easy between
them, like it had been with Adam.

Something had shifted in Claire the night
she had spent talking to Daniel. Maybe it was their growing
relationship, or that she had finally confided in someone about the
accident, and the death of Adam and their baby. Or even that she
had shared with someone about the guilt she felt. She could feel
the constant thoughts of Adam and the accident slipping away and
thoughts of her future emerging.

As Daniel left the room, Claire reached for
Elizabeth's journal. She knew she shouldn't be reading it, but she
felt like something was driving her to find out the truth.

May 27, 1886

Dear Diary,

My days in isolation have proven to be long
and daunting. How I regret my decision to stay, but alas there is
nothing I can do. I have begged Annie to help me steal away, but
father has vowed to remain home for the duration of my
confinement.

I was disgusted as he said, "After the
bastard is born, I shall have it sent far away." I fear that father
means it, although I am unsure where he would intend to send such a
beautiful gift. But I fear he plans to harm the innocent thing.
Father has already taken so much from me. I will not let him take
my child. I shall kill him with my bare hands before I let such a
thing happen.

I have tried to find things to occupy my
mind during my confinement as I fear I might go mad. I have begun
working on items for my darling child. I have already sewn a
beautiful baby quilt from scraps that Annie found. I am now working
on a darling dress with embroidery along the front. Annie just
chuckled and said, "that will look fine, if you have a son."

To be honest, I had never considered that I
would have a son. Since the moment I learned of my condition, I
just knew it was a precious daughter. I have been thinking over
baby names and I have decided that I shall name her Emma Olivia.
She will be named after the beautiful girl at Miss Baker's School
and of course after my dear mother.

I chuckle now thinking back at the life I
had in Boston. I had thought it was terrible that I was made to go
to finishing school and that I could not spend time with Thomas. I
would give anything to return to that life if it meant mother was
here, and I was not being held against my will.

Elizabeth

May 28, 1886

Dear Diary,

I remember as a child how Andrew and I would
lay on the grass and stare up at the clouds. As we looked at them,
it was as if animals just appeared. Childhood was such a magical
time. I had a mother and father who loved me and my brother Andrew
to play with. We had a beautiful home in Boston with all the
comforts one could hope for. I had dreamt of a life of beauty and
magic. A life filled with Love and children and family.

Now as I lay here in my prison, I wish I
could set eyes on the outside. To be able to stare up at the
clouds, or watch the stars twinkling brightly. I know mother's
English garden is beginning to bloom. What I wouldn't give to be
able to set eyes upon the beauty that we created.

But sadly my chamber has no windows. To
anyone looking at our home my prison would look to be the most
beautiful spot in the house because of all the colorful panes that
surround it. When the sunlight shines in the colors reflect off of
the walls.
It
is marvelous, I try to look at the
reflections on the wall, and pick out animals, but it just is not
the same. But at night when the moon is bright, and the room is
dark, I find it quite frightening.

I try to find comfort in thinking of my
child and our future. I think of my mother and of Andrew and
William, and of course, I am always thinking of Thomas.

Elizabeth

June 16, 1886

Dear Diary,

I am in such a state. I do not know how to
convey the severity of my situation. The night I last wrote father
came to my room. I knew immediately that something was amiss as he
had been staying away. As he entered my chamber my heart began to
pound. I knew he had been drinking, and I was sure he was going to
harm me.

To my horror he took liberties with me. He
said that I was a soiled dove and since I had fallen from graces,
it should not matter that he was my father. I begged and pleaded
for him to stop. I nearly heaved at the stench of his hot, rancid
breath on my neck. As I tried to push him away, he became crazed,
and began beating me.

After he left the room Annie came rushing in
to care for me. She kept crying and saying, "my poor baby, it is
going to be alright. Annie is going to take care of it." I am not
sure what she meant, but I do hope she plans to alert the
authorities.

I feared for the life of my darling
child, and all I could do was pray that God would see fit to
protect the innocent thing.

My thoughts turned to mother as I now know
what she had endured. Oh how I wish my dear sweet mother was here.
I would think that she would have killed father for what he has
done.

Elizabeth

July 14, 1886

Dear Diary,

As my wounds continue to heal, I can only
lie here in my bed and reflect on the past. As I yearn for a future
with my darling baby and my Thomas. The child has grown quite
active. I try to envision her tiny little face. Will she look like
me or will she look like Thomas?

Annie continues to visit each day as she
brings me my meals. Today she has brought word of my darling
William. He wrote me a letter that she said she would mail to me. I
suppose he thinks I have gone away. I cried when I read it, he is
such a sweet and gentle soul. I fear that with mother, Andrew and I
gone and with only fathers negative influence that William will
lose his sweet nature.

As I was thinking of William the other day
and our time in the attic, I began to wonder, could it be possible
that there is another way out of this room? So I began to search
the wall panels. I could not find any secret passage, but I did
find that one of the small wall panels in the back of the room can
be raised. It is not a large space, and sadly it does not lead me
to my freedom.

As Annie continues to visit, she brings me
treasured items of mother's that I hide away in my secret
compartment. Sadly, should I ever have the chance to escape I will
have to part with some of mother's things.

Elizabeth

Finally on the fourth day after her accident
Claire was able to put enough weight on her ankle to walk without
the aid of her crutches.

She carefully walked down the hall to the
staging room, which because of the size Claire supposed had once
been a ballroom. When she opened the door, she was shocked. There
were so many boxes and pieces of furniture that had all been neatly
organized.

Claire had not hadn't expected to find this
much stuff. Each box had been carefully labeled with the contents,
and notes added about where each item was found. It was far more
than she ever expected. As she suspected, the items from the
basement were mostly utility items from around the home. Opening
the first box she spotted some old bake ware, a 1940's coffee pot,
a couple of old rolling pins and more mismatched utensils than she
cared to count. As she continued looking through the other boxes
she found much of the same. It looked like most of it would be good
for the store.

"Just what do you think you are doing out of
bed," Claire turned to see Janet and Daniel standing in the
doorway.

Smiling guiltily, "Please don't send me back
to bed. I'm going to lose my mind. I promise to be careful and I
will take breaks to rest my ankle," Holding up three fingers on her
right hand, "Girl scouts honor."

"It's ok, the doctor said you could put
weight on it in a few days if it wasn't painful. But promise me if
it starts hurting you will get off of it," Daniel said.

Claire smiled sweetly, "I promise."

"I know you a have a job, and the last thing
I want is to put you out, but I was hoping I could ask another
favor of you. Promise me you will say no, if you don't want to do
it," Claire said.

Pulling up a dusty chair, Daniel motioned
for Claire to sit, "You know I don't mind and right now my work
schedule is slow. So just tell me what it is."

"Since I only planned to be in Eureka for a
few days, I haven't packed up my apartment. I was wondering if you
would take me to Bentonville and help me pack up everything so I
can bring it home. It's on the ground floor so no stairs to worry
about," Claire laughed.

"Count me in. Do you want to go today? It's
still early, we should have plenty of time," Daniel said.

"Yes that would be great. Let me get my coat
and I will meet you out front," Claire said.

As they drove to Bentonville the realization
that she would have to go through Adam's belongings hit her. She
had been avoiding it for months, but she couldn't keep putting it
off. She couldn't help but wonder what she should do with
everything. Sure there were things she would keep, things she would
never think of parting with, but she knew it didn't make sense to
keep everything. Wondering how she would decide what to keep, she
was brought back to the present when Daniel reached over, and
placed his hand over hers, "A penny for your thoughts."

"I don't know. I was thinking of what I
would do with Adams things. I know I don't need to keep everything,
but I just can't bring myself to part with it yet. Do you have any
ideas?" Claire asked eagerly.

Daniel thought for a moment before
responding, "I think you should bring everything back to the house.
This is still new territory for you and if you don't keep it you
might be sorry later. The basement is clean now, so you can store
it down there and when the time is right I will help you get it
out."

"Thank you Daniel, you are always so
thoughtful. And you're right, if I throw it all out or give it away
there will be no way to get it back if I need it," Claire said.

As they continued to drive Daniel turned up
the radio and began singing to the Johnny Cash song on the radio.
When the song got to June's part, Claire happily joined in.

As they neared Claire's apartment, she
showed him where Adam had worked and pointed out where she had gone
to school her entire life. As he followed her directions, he
thought of everything Claire had gone through in the previous
months. He wished there was a way to remove the pain he saw in her
eyes, but he knew that it was just something she had to go through.
Thoughtfully, he decided that he would do anything he possibly
could to make her happy. He wanted to see her as she was the first
day Jen visited. She truly seemed happy and carefree, and at least
for a while she wasn't consumed with grief.

He wasn't sure what happened. He had planned
his life and it didn't include marriage and children, at least not
anytime soon. But somehow in the matter of weeks his vision of his
life had changed. He knew he wanted Claire, but would she ever be
ready for love again, or would she even want him?

Pointing Claire said, "This is it. Pull into
the space on the left."

As they entered the apartment Daniel was awe
struck, "Who knew an apartment could be so charming."

"Awe, Thank you, that is very sweet," Claire
said.

"I'm serious, you know how to decorate. I
love the way you have combined the old with the new, it looks
amazing in here. You need to come decorate my apartment," Daniel
said.

Claire looked at Daniel, "Actually I have
been thinking of having you convert the carriage house into a home.
I know how much you love the estate and I love having you there. It
has always been your home and it's where you belong. Of course it
would be your space, so you would have free rein on how to convert
it. You could start any time you like, and I would be happy to help
you decorate it if you want me to."