Finding Ever After (13 page)

           
With just a look and a few breathy
words he was able to turn my thoughts into mush and wipe out any self control I
thought I had. I didn’t know whether I wanted to kiss him or punch him, but I
was sure I wouldn’t make it through the rest of the night alone with him,
without doing one of those things. I was afraid I knew which one it would be
too. Even now I was imagining what it would feel like to have his lips on mine.
I was confident it wouldn’t be like any kiss I’d ever had, not that I’d been
kissed a lot. If I let Kyden kiss me even once though, I wouldn’t be able to
say that again because I don’t think I’d be able to tell him to stop. That
wasn’t something I could let happen. It was time to call in reinforcements. I
pulled out my phone and sent a quick text. The reply was almost instantaneous
and I breathed a sigh of relief. He was on his way.

           
“You expecting anyone else Princess?”
Kyden hollered
from the living room as the knock sounded at the front door.

           
“Yes.” I came dashing out of the kitchen, where I had been pretending to tidy
up in order to avoid him, for the last twenty minutes. I tried to reach the
door before him, but he beat me to it. He pulled the door open and took in the
large, well muscled figure standing on my porch. He wasn’t as tall as Kyden but
he still stood at six foot and had a thicker build.

           
I hadn’t seen Shane since the day he showed up at my apartment in Portland and
once again I was struck by just how much he resembled our father. Same squared
jaw, hooked nose and close cropped haircut. His eyes were the only real
difference between him and our Dad. He has his mother’s blue eyes. In fact, all
of my siblings got their eye color from their moms. None of us have the same
mom. Shane was the oldest at twenty four, then me, followed by Cathryn, just a
year younger and Ryan who was eighteen. Of all of us I was the only child to
inherit my Dad’s unusual eye color. I hated it.

           
“Who’s this?” Hostility poured from Kyden’s mouth. He didn’t even bother to
address Shane himself.

           
“This is Shane.” I let that soak in for a moment before I finished.
“My brother.”
His shoulders, which had stiffened, noticeably
relaxed. “Shane, this is Kyden.” My brother stuck out his hand and Kyden took
it. During their brief exchange, there was a moment when they locked eyes that
I saw some macho battle of wills taking place.
Guys!

           
“Shane is going to stay with me the
rest of the night, so you’re officially off the hook.” I informed Kyden, and he
looked less than pleased.

           
“Nobody said anything about him being here. Chris told me I was supposed to
stay until he comes over in the morning.”

           
“Yeah, well, that’s because nobody bothered to check with me before making
those decisions. Thanks for being here, but you can go now.” Kyden wasn’t the
least bit happy about being dismissed. I just had to hope he wouldn’t
immediately inform Bas or Chris of the change in plans. I wanted a little more
time to figure out how to explain Shane’s presence and convince Bas not to kill
him.

           
Until last month, things between Shane and I were akin to the relationship
between North and South Korea. In this depiction my father would be cast as the
evil dictator and each of my siblings played the part of puppet oh so well.
Suffice to say Bas had swooped in on many occasions to come between them and me,
especially Shane. Often it had resulted in one or the both of them bloody and
bruised. Everything changed when he tracked me down in Portland, well at least
everything between the two of us. I wasn’t the only one to make life altering
decisions in the last three years.

           
“So why exactly did I need to rush over here and rescue you?” Shane asked after
Kyden was gone.

           
“It was either that or you’d have to hire a lawyer to get me off on murder,
because if I was stuck with him one more hour I would’ve killed him.”

           
“
Mmhmm
, I’m sure that’s what you would’ve done.” He
said mockingly. I responded by shooting him a dirty look. “What’s the matter
sis? You seem a little flustered.” I groaned. I had traded one smug jerk for
another. At least I didn’t have to worry about this one destroying my sense of
morals and self-respect.

           
Shane followed me into the living room and helped himself to the remaining
snacks. I flipped the TV back on and we both fell asleep watching the latest Marvel
film. I was sprawled out on the couch with my feet across his lap and it was
after one in the morning when I was startled awake by a surprisingly loud and
unfamiliar ringtone. I looked over to see Shane passed out with his head tipped
back and his mouth partially open.

           
“Shane, your phone.”
I nudged him with my foot so he
would wake up and answer it.

           
“
S’not
me.”
He mumbled
groggily, then shifted his body to rest his head on the arm of the couch and
went back to sleep. I realized that he was right. The noise was coming from the
coffee table where my phone was sitting. I reached for it and found that it was
indeed my phone
blaring
the words to
Animals
by
Nine Inch Nails, but that wasn’t one of my ringtones.

           
When I looked at the caller ID that popped up on the screen
it all made sense.
Kyden must have set the ringtone when he entered his
number.

           
“Hello?” My voice was heavy with sleep and irritation.

           
“Princess, please fucking
tell
me you’re okay.” His
voice was verging on panic.

           
“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” I was confused as to why he was checking up on
me in the middle of the night, and then realization hit me. He must’ve talked
to Bas or Chris.

           
“We’ve been calling and texting you for over half an hour and you haven’t
responded.” I pulled the phone away from my face and saw that I had eight
unread text messages and twelve missed calls.

           
“You talked to Bas?”

           
“Chris called him after he got home from his date and I explained why I wasn’t
with you. What’s going on Princess?” Just then I heard the sound of a car door
slamming followed by footsteps hammering across the porch. I hung up the phone,
swung my legs down and shook Shane. He sat up just as I heard a key turning in
the lock.

           
“I had hoped to save this until morning but Bas is here.” As soon as the words
left my mouth he appeared in the living room, ready to rip someone’s head off.
He halted as he took in the two of us on the couch. His gaze swept over me,
checking to make sure I was in one piece and then when he was satisfied he
narrowed his eyes on Shane.

           
“What’s going on Jazz?” Bas demanded
without looking away from my brother.

           
“It’s okay. This is my fault. I should have talked to you earlier, but there’s
still so much I’m processing and I didn’t know how to explain it all to you.”

           
“Well you can start with why Connor’s best friend is sitting in your living
room and how come I’m not beating the shit out of him for it.”

           
“He’s not here to cause any trouble or hurt me, Bas. Things are different now.”

           
“Are they now?” He scoffed. Clearly he wasn’t buying it, and honestly I
couldn’t say that I blamed him. I was just as skeptical when it had been Shane
standing in front of me, trying to convince me to trust him. Ultimately he had,
and I knew Bas would come around once he heard the full story too.

           
Before I could go into further explanation another set of car doors slammed
outside and we were joined by Chris and Kyden looking just as distressed as
bas. “Jeez, was it really necessary to bring the whole damn cavalry Bas?”

           
“I told you Princess, you weren’t answering your phone.”

           
“We were worried Tink.” Just as Bas had done, Chris fixed a glare on Shane,
trying to take in the situation. “The three of us were already on the way when
you finally answered, and then you hung up and we didn’t know what was going
on.”

           
“Well everything is fine. I’m fine, he’s fine, so you can all go home.” I knew
the likelihood of any of them cooperating was low.

           
“I’m still waiting for you to tell me why my fist isn’t in his face, Jazz.” I
tried to think of a way to make him understand without revealing too much in
front of the one person in the room who knew nothing about this part of my
past. I really wanted to keep it that way. “Like I said, things are different.
Shane is different. We’ve been talking lately and we sorted through a lot. He’s
helped me to see some stuff from a different perspective and we’ve gotten to a
place where I trust him Bas.” I meant it. Getting here hadn’t been easy for
either of us, but after a lot of apologies and tears, I had been willing to
give him a chance at being in my life. He gave me some very good reasons to,
one I especially couldn’t ignore.

           
Bas and Chris would always be my brothers, but the steps Shane and I had taken
towards building a relationship, brought a sliver of peace to the part of my
soul that had always dwelt on feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt, because
I believed something had to be innately wrong with me if my own family couldn’t
love me. Shane and I still had a long way to go in just getting to know one
another, but I was excited about having a blood relative who would be there for
me. I hadn’t felt that since my mom died.

           
“You trust him? I’m sure that’s exactly what he wants, so he can set you up for
his buddy, just like before.” Bas bit out, and up until that point Shane had
been sitting there quietly.

           
“I didn’t fucking have anything to do with that.” Shane snapped as he flung
himself up from the couch. Bas squared his shoulders and pressed forward. Both
Kyden and Chris shifted their stances, ready to step in if the situation
escalated.

           
“Why should I believe you? How many times did you let him near her?” Bas took
another step closer, every word laced with indignation. “How many times did you
leave her alone with him? You practically served her up on a platter.” I stood
up to put my hand on Bas’ arm, but he shook me off without as much as a glance.
I looked pleadingly at Chris to do something but I could tell he was siding
with his brother. I forced myself to look over at Kyden. I didn’t want him
hearing any of this. I could see the tension in his jaw and the fury in his
eyes. It was obvious he was drawing his own conclusions from the bits of
information being laid out.

           
“I don’t care what you think. Yes he was my friend, but I didn’t know what he
had planned, that he was going to . . . I mean I knew he was an asshole, but I
just didn’t . . .” He had trouble putting into words what had haunted my
nightmares for years.

           
“Your own father -”

           
“STOP!”
I screamed
,
I
couldn’t let Bas finish that sentence. Kyden couldn’t know my shame at being
betrayed by my flesh and blood. Everyone’s eyes darted to me, and with a
pleading look I tried to make Bas understand. “Please don’t do this here.” His
eyes flitted to Kyden and he seemed to realize what I was asking.

           
“Fine.
The three of us will go upstairs. You two,” he
said, addressing Kyden and Chris.
“Can wait down here.”
Neither one looked pleased about being excluded but they didn’t protest. I
turned and led the way up to my room where we would have more privacy, as long
as it didn’t escalate into another shouting match.

           
I took a seat on the edge of my bed but both guys remained standing. They were
quiet, allowing me the opportunity to speak first.

           
“Bas, I know this is hard to accept. I had the same doubts at first, but after
you hear what he has to say, you’ll realize he’s not trying to trick me or hurt
me.”

           
“
Hmph
, we’ll see.” His tone made it quite clear that
he doubted there was anything Shane could say to convince him. He laced his
words with as much disdain as he could when he addressed him. “So let’s hear
it, tell me all about how you’ve changed.”

           
“You actually played a part in it.”
Bas looked shocked for a second before he covered it up with cool indifference.
“You may not believe me, but even though I was a dick to Jaxyn, I never
actually wanted her hurt. I didn’t find out what happened until months after.”
Bas gave him a doubtful look. “I’m telling you the truth. I found out the day
you showed up at the house after Jaxyn had already split.”

           
Hearing him repeat the story for Bas flashed me back to the day I came out of
my apartment and found Shane standing on the stoop outside

           
“I was hoping if I stood out here long enough you would show. I couldn’t
work up the nerve to knock on your door.” What was he doing here? Was he here
for my father, to try and take me back? Oh God, please don’t let Connor be with
him. It’d been almost three years, why now? “I can tell you’re not happy to see
me, and I don’t blame you. I just want to say what I came here to say and then
if you still want me gone, I’ll go. Just please hear me out, it’s taken me a
long time to track you down.” I snorted.

           
“Don’t try to play this like Dad hasn’t known where I’ve been this whole time.
I’m not delusional enough to think that he couldn’t find me with just one phone
call.”

           
“You’re right, but since I haven’t spoken to our father in over two years it
was a little bit harder for me.”

           
“What?”I couldn’t mask my surprise.