Finding Fiona (14 page)

“
It shouldn’t be. It should be
mine.”

Troy threw his hands up. “What do you want me
to do, huh? Just tell the police we duplicated you six months ago,
and that’s why they buried Elizabeth Normans?”

“
I want you to help instead of
sitting around and making snide remarks. We have to do
something.”

“
What don’t you understand, Fiona?”
Troy leaned forward in his chair, pounding a fist into his palm.
“This is your life. There’s not enough evidence to convince the
police to arrest the Alarias.”

Fiona was about to yell at him–what, she
wasn’t sure–but James cut in. “Maybe there is,” he said. “We should
go to them again. I will. I’ll tell them they were following us and
that they were at Hannah’s house.”

“
They threatened to put a
restraining order on you, James,” Troy said, shaking his
head.

“
Fiona’s right, though. We have to
do something.”

Fiona gave him a grateful smile. “I know we
can’t tell the police about the replication device… but maybe if we
got the Alarias to confess…”

“
How would we do that?” Sarah
asked.

“
Maybe one of us can go talk to
them and bring a tape recorder or something.”

“
It is the twenty-first century,
you know,” James said. “There are better alternatives to tape
recorders.”

Fiona shrugged and waved a hand, half-smiling.
“Fine, whatever can be hidden easily.”

Sarah leaned toward James, putting her hand on
her hip. “I could go talk to them.”

Fiona didn’t want Sarah to be the one to go.
Maybe it was Sarah’s reluctance to talk about the Remus project, or
maybe something shallower like how Fiona felt slightly intimidated
by her. She glanced at James. “It might make more sense if James or
Keith went,” she said.

“
Why?” Sarah asked as she narrowed
her eyes.

“
Since I was closer with them,”
Fiona said.

Sarah looked down at the table, furrowing her
brow. “You really don’t remember much.”

No, she didn’t remember, why did people keep
forgetting the whole long-term amnesia thing? But Fiona still felt
as though she needed to take back her words. She fiddled with the
journal. “I’m just going off of what I wrote in the
journal.”

“
Right.” Sarah stepped back from
the desk.

After a moment of silence, James said, “I’ll
go. I’ll talk to the Alarias.”

Keith stood up, looking at his watch. “I could
pick up a microphone for an mp3 player on my way to work. You just
hook it up and start recording. They’re cheap and easy to
use.”

Fiona’s shoulders sagged as she realized
they’d have to wait until tomorrow. It was almost dark, and she
didn’t want James showing up at anybody’s house. “I wish we would
have thought about this earlier.”

“
It’s Sunday,” Keith said with a
shrug. “They probably would have been at home, anyways.”

“
Tomorrow, then,” James said,
getting to his feet.

“
Well, I should go,” Sarah said.
“Let me know what you decide to do.”

“
I’ll walk you to your car,” Keith
said as he stood. Sarah glanced at him, and Fiona saw a shy look
creep onto her face.

The two walked to the door, and Sarah looked
at Fiona over her shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

Fiona smiled tightly as they left. Hannah
mumbled something. Fiona noticed she had her face buried in her
hands; she moved over and touched Hannah’s shoulder. Hannah jumped,
looking up at Fiona. “Oh, god… I have to get back to work
eventually, Fiona.”

Fiona frowned, crouching down. “I
know.”

“
I don’t think you should go back
to Boston yet,” Troy said. “Think about it, they were sitting
outside of your house and–”

Hannah held up her hand, and, surprisingly,
Troy fell silent. She turned to Fiona. “I can’t stay here forever.
I’ll stay here tomorrow, then I’m going to go home.”

“
But Hannah–” Fiona
began.

“
I already called the police in
Boston and told them there was a car sitting outside of my house,”
Hannah said. “What else can I do?”

“
You should stay here,” Troy said
quietly.

Hannah ignored him, keeping her eyes on Fiona.
“Is that okay with you?”

“
Just don’t decide until tomorrow
night,” Fiona said. “We’ll figure something out before then.” She
squeezed Hannah’s hand, smiling faintly. She wanted to keep Hannah
safe. She was like a mother to Fiona, and if anything happened to
her, she didn’t know what she’d do. Maybe James going wouldn’t be
enough to deter them.

Hannah stood up. “Those baked potatoes should
be ready now.”

Dinner was quiet at first, everyone
in his or her own thoughts. They soon started to discuss what James
would say. After some argument, they decided he’d bring in the
article in the
Boston Herald.
Troy didn’t like exposing Hannah, but Hannah said
it was okay, they obviously had already seen it because they’d been
at her house. Fiona had a feeling she was acting braver than she
felt.

Troy kept saying they’d deny everything. For
once, Fiona agreed with him. Why would they admit anything to
James?

Troy met Fiona’s eyes. “Maybe you should just…
start over. We could get you somewhere far away from the
Alarias.”

“
I want my life back,” Fiona said
quietly.

“
Oh, the life you can’t even
remember?”

Fiona slammed her fork down and stood up. “The
life you kept from me,” she muttered as she walked into the kitchen
with her plate.

“
I was trying to protect you!” Troy
called after her.

Fiona shook her head as she went to the guest
room.

“
The Alarias would’ve just dragged
you back to that research lab. They killed your parents for this
thing!”

She ignored his excuses, closing the door
behind her and collapsing on the bed. She wasn’t going anywhere. It
might’ve been easy for Troy to make up some name and live some fake
life, but she was staying right here in New York.

And yet, she knew that if she couldn’t prove
the Alarias had started the fire and killed her parents, she would
live her life in fear of them. She let out a breath. She had to go
see them. She couldn’t put it off any longer.

* * *

Chapter Nine

Fiona lay in her bed in the guest room,
waiting for sleep to come. Her mind raced, and she couldn’t stop
the thoughts from running past and being replaced by more. She
thought of Sarah, wondering what kind of friendship they had. She
replayed her conversation with Keith and James, trying to memorize
each little fact about her former life.

More than that, she tried to piece together a
plan for the next morning. Where would she go? What would she
say?

When she turned to look at the alarm clock, it
was midnight. She’d been lying here for an hour, but it’d felt like
three. With a sigh, she rolled out of bed. She quietly stepped past
Hannah into the hall. A light was on in the kitchen. She paused at
the top of the steps, wondering if she could brave them in the
dark. Instead, she turned to the living room and found James lying
on the couch engrossed in a book.

He glanced up when he saw her at the end of
the couch. “Hey,” he said softly.

“
I can’t sleep.”

James sat up, pulled his blankets back, and
motioned for her to sit down. He set his book on the coffee table.
Dan Brown. Fiona raised her eyebrows as she sat down.

“
It’s my form of
escape,” he said. “Not that you could judge me with
The Rule of Four.
”

Fiona smiled. “Maybe I should read, too. Are
there any books around here?”

“
A few in your old room, but a lot
of them were destroyed in the fire.”

“
I might go in there.”

James glanced toward her old room. “Walter’s
sleeping on the floor.”

“
Oh…” She pulled her legs up until
her knees met her chest. She crossed her arms on them and rested
her chin. With a sideways glance, she asked, “What if Troy’s right?
What if we never figure out what happened? What if I have to worry
about them forever?”

James frowned, leaning toward her. “Fiona…
look, we’re going to do all we can. If it doesn’t work out… if you
don’t want to keep trying, then yeah, maybe Troy’s right. We
shouldn’t stay here. We could run away to Florida.”

Fiona thought of the pictures of them in
Florida. She remembered one on Keith’s computer of the two of them
at the beach. “It’d be nice there,” she said, the ghost of a smile
on her face.

“
But we won’t go until you’re
ready. I’ll stick with you, no matter what.”

She reached out and touched his hand, which
lay on his lap. “Thanks.”

He took her hand in both of his, playing with
her fingers. “Sometimes I still can’t believe you’re here.” He
pushed on the callous on her middle finger, formed from holding a
pencil.

“
Me, neither. Two weeks ago, I had
no idea who I was, and the only real person in my life was Hannah.”
Fiona paused. “And Troy, I guess.”

James frowned, his eyes still on her hand. He
traced the lines on her palm with his fingertip. “I want to
memorize every inch of you.” He met her eyes and chuckled
sheepishly. “I sound like a freak.”

Fiona smiled. “No… you sound like you found
somebody who’s been missing for a long time.”

“
Too long,” James said
quietly.

“
What if you never found
me?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know… maybe Walter
would have told me eventually.”

Fiona scoffed. “I doubt it. He would have kept
me trapped forever if he could have.”

James hesitated. “I understand it, a little
bit. Him sheltering you. Ignorance is bliss, right?”

“
No. How can you–”

“
I only said a little bit. Lying
wasn’t right. But I guess I get why he did it. To keep you
safe.”

“
I was miserable.”

“
I know… I was, too. That’s
probably what it comes down to. I’m too selfish to do something
like that.” He put their palms together, their arms hovering in the
air. Her fingertips met his top knuckles. “I want you to remember
me. I want something of what we used to have.”

She slowly took her hand away and tucked it
under her opposite arm. “Do you think I’ll ever
remember?”

“
I hope so,” James
whispered.

They fell into silence. After a few moments,
Fiona said, “I’m going to go try to sleep.”

“
All right.” James held up the Dan
Brown book. “You want to read this?”

Fiona shook her head. “No, thanks.”

“
Goodnight.”

“
Goodnight, James.”

* * *

When she woke up, she tried to keep a handle
on all the things she’d been dreaming of. She pulled out her
journal and wrote down all she could remember.

Richard–my dad?–making blueberry
pancakes. Fiona, my mom, doing my hair for prom. More dreams about
the fire. I was screaming, coughing, running to the stairs. As soon
as I got to the bottom, that same person grabbed me. Florida–I
remember swimming at the beach, playing chicken with the others,
the sand, the sunburn the next day.

She closed her eyes, reliving the fuzzy
memories. She could almost sense the ache of a sunburn on her back.
She could feel her body swaying back and forth as she floated on
the waves. She could see her dad’s protective expression as he
watched Fiona and James holding hands as they came out of the
water. She thought of her mom’s reflection as she curled Fiona’s
hair with a thoughtful look on her face. The lines in her forehead
disappeared when she smiled.

Fiona didn’t get out of bed for a few minutes,
holding onto the memories as though they may fade like the memory
of crashing the van. It was months before she recalled that memory,
and then only because she’d read her journal.

Faint voices came from downstairs, and Fiona
realized that’s what had woken her up. She glanced at her cell
phone. It wasn’t even six yet, the time she’d set her alarm
for.

She walked into the living room. James was
asleep on the couch. A bit of dawn light shone through the window,
lighting up his peaceful expression. His arm was thrown up over his
head, and the blankets were only covering half of his body. The
raised voices of Hannah and Troy downstairs hadn’t stirred
him.

She went to the balcony. “Is everything all
right?”

Hannah looked up at her, startled. Her eyes
were red. “No, nothing’s all right. I’m sorry, Fiona, I can’t stay
here with him.”

Fiona’s grip tightened on the banister. “What
are you talking about?”

“
I need to go,” Hannah said with a
sob. She was dressed, her bag over her shoulder. “I have to go.
I’ll call you later.” She started going for the
backdoor.