Finding Jordie: Things aren't always what they seem. (The Love Lies Bleeding Series Book 1) (28 page)

“We can talk about it after we get home.” His voice was quiet.

As upset as I was, my belly reacted with a familiar dance of happiness to his words.
Home
. I liked that. A lot. “Nathan—”

“Jordan, let’s just do this where we are alone, please?” He looked down at me and scowled as he retrieved my bag from the overhead compartment. I was so caught up in my major fuck-up that I hadn’t even noticed that it was time to get off the plane.

“Hood up, sunglasses on,” he said when we reached the end of the ramp.

“I’m inside and it isn’t dark,” I snapped.

“You’ll want your sunglasses, Jordie. The flashes will hurt your eyes and your hood helps block the flash from your peripheral vision. It can get very disorientating.” He proceeded to put my sunglasses on me and tugged my hood up over my head. He took my hand and led me off the ramp. There weren’t as many paps as there’d been in L.A. but there were quite a few and some fans as well. Ignoring everyone, he stayed close behind Frank and literally dragged me behind him. I stumbled a few times because a) I couldn’t see very well, and b) my equilibrium was a little off from flying. My ears still felt clogged. We got into the SUV waiting for us at the curb.

Still not a word out of Nathan’s mouth, except for his little speech on the ramp. That was it for me. If he was going to be mad at me for snooping when I wasn’t then I was going to be mad at him for withholding information from me.
That’s right, buddy. Two can play this game. He should’ve told me what Frank suspected, and as insane as it sounded, I would marry him, too. Yesterday.
I let out a small laugh at my thoughts.
Maniac. Nut job. Insane. I’d marry him. In a heartbeat.
Then Emma would
really
get the wrong idea about love and marriage and all that. But would she though? I mean, why would she? We were in love, we got married, we stayed together. Just like Nathan’s parents had.

“Do you want to stop in the bar before we go in? Also, what would you like for dinner? I’ll call and order it,” Nathan said dryly, not bothering to look my way as we pulled up to my place.

“Um, yes, and I don’t care, order whatever. I’m not hungry.” I opened the truck door and hopped out.

“Wait for Frank, please.” He finally looked at me and grabbed my hand.

“I’m a big girl, Nathan.” I put my sunglasses on, flipped my hood up, and slammed the door. Flashes were coming from every angle. I gave a small smile, buried my hands in my sweater pockets, and kept my head down as I made my way to the bar. Once I was inside I could see Rachel and Amber were busy behind the bar and Isobel was taking orders on the other side of the room.

“Rachel! Rachel!” I screamed and waved my arms. The place was packed.

“Biotch!” she screamed back and waved me over.

As soon as I made it behind the bar she threw her arms around me and squeezed tight.

“I missed you, skank ho!” she said playfully. “What’s wrong?” Rachel missed nothing when it came to reading me.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” I didn’t want to have this conversation screaming over loud music and unwelcome ears. “Tomorrow we’ll talk,” I yelled and she nodded.

“Hollerrr.” She yanked out two beers from the ice bay and gave me an air kiss.

I let out a small laugh. Rachel always could make me feel better. “Oh!” I spun around quickly. “I want to know all about your new roommate!”

Her mouth opened, but then she shut it and nodded with a huge grin on her face.

I DIDN’T HAVE MY
keys on me so I had to buzz in when I got back to my place, Charles right behind me. I heard the beep for the alarm followed by the click for the door and opened it and stomped up the steps slowly. I was tired, annoyed, and hungry by then. I walked into the apartment and Nathan locked the door behind me and turned the alarm back on.

“Seriously, do we need it on all day and night? It’s such a pain in the ass.” I tossed my sunglasses and smokes on the table. He said nothing. So this was pissy Nathan—he gave the silent treatment. Well, whatever worked for him was fine by me.

“I’m going to bed,” I announced as I threw my sweater over my arm and headed up to the bedroom.

“I ordered pizza. It’ll be delivered in about forty-five minutes. You need to eat,” Nathan called up to me.

“Oh, you’ve decided you want to speak to me now? Well, thank you,” I snapped as I reached the top step.

“Jordie, come back down, please,” I heard him say from the living room.

“Not hungry, goodnight. I love you.” I said it loud enough so he could hear me as I walked into the bathroom. I needed a shower. I felt like a Class A dirt fest after traveling all day, and hopefully it would relax me a bit.

While the steam began to fill up the room I undressed and tossed my clothes in a pile behind the bathroom door. I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment. I wondered how long he would stay mad at me. Was he having second thoughts about being with me now since I was some horrific privacy invader? I sighed and stepped into the shower. It felt so good. I stood with my back to the door, hands on the tile, while my body soaked in the warmth under the cascade of water. It was a bit hotter than I normally preferred it but I could feel the tension being washed away. I heard the shower door click open and felt the cooler air mix with the steam.

“Close the door, please. I’m freezing,” I said.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel him against my behind.

“Seriously, babe? You won’t talk to me, but you want to fuck me?” I turned around, furious. It was pretty obvious by the expression on his face that I had
really
pissed him off.

“I have never nor will I ever
fuck
you, Jordan. Let’s get that straight right now.” He pursed his lips and squinted. “Second, I can’t help that this is the reaction I have when I see you. I love you, you make me crazy.” He looked down at himself.

“Yeah, I know that feeling all too well.” I slid my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. “You’ll
never fuck me
?”
I asked mischievously.

I could feel him looking down at me.

“You have a freaky side, don’t you?”

I turned my chin up and smirked. “Possibly.”

He smiled my smile but I had to take action before he turned my insides into mush.

“But right now I need to wash up before any fuckery happens and
before
the hot water runs out.” I grabbed the soap and lathered it between my hands.

I quickly washed my hair, and he took over when I began to wash my body. I returned the favor when he finished. After we were done I went over to Nathan’s open suitcase and pulled out a t-shirt and pair of boxers and slipped into them before he came out of the bathroom. I was so over the frilly crap and just wanted to sleep in something cotton again. When he finally came out of the bathroom he stopped dead in his tracks. His expression changed from surprised to so effin’ sexy that it sent my pulse racing and I could feel it
everywhere
throughout my body.

“You know, Jordan, had I known you’d look this damned sexy in my clothes I wouldn’t have bothered with the
frilly stuff
, as you say. Not that the frilly stuff doesn’t look absolutely enticing on you, but this...
this is unbearable
.”
He came to me, slid his hand to my behind, and pulled me so close his excitement dug against my hip.
“But first we eat. You haven’t had very much today, and well, I’ve heard make-up sex is pretty fun.” His words pulled me out of my thoughts as he winked and released me. I searched his face while he spoke, I could hear him say that Frank would bring the pizza up when it got here, but I wasn’t listening.

“I’d marry you, too.” There it was again, the infamous word vomit. Instantly my hand flew over my mouth because I’d even shocked myself with that one. It was the truth, though. I would. I wanted to marry this man. “What have you done to me?” I searched in his eyes.

What I was searching for exactly I didn’t know. What I did know was the sexy playful banter, the feelings he brought out of me, or maybe just the fact it felt like gravity had pulled us together sent my emotions into overdrive and I wanted to be his, forever. It was more than lust. It was more than anything I’d ever felt in my thirty-one years. With small sadness I realized that what I felt for Nathan I’d never felt for my husband, but that fraction of sadness faded as I saw the elation in Nathan’s eyes. His lips turned up just a bit into a devilish grin, and he ran his fingers through my hair, and grabbed it at the nape of my neck just so.

Holy shit, was I even breathing?

“I have no words how I feel for you, Nathan. I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone this way.”

“We’re right for each other, perfect balance. I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else but you,” he whispered while he nipped at my ear.

“Fuck food.” I jumped up, wrapped my legs around him, and kissed him hard. Harder and more passionately then I ever had. I felt ravenous, primal, and absolutely stripped of all insecurities. His hands were all over me and his long fingers explored my body. I unwrapped myself from around him and dropped his towel to the floor as he yanked my shirt off over my head in one quick motion. I tugged at my shorts and dropped them to the floor as his mouth took over mine. I trapped his bottom lip between my teeth and gently bit down. He groaned when I pulled away slowly. I ran my hands up his chest and when I reached his shoulders I pushed him down onto the bed. I climbed on top of him, locked my fingers with his, and pinned him down. I felt his entire body tighten and he pushed up against me as I went for his neck.

“Stay still. You’ll get your turn,” I breathed in his ear.

He swallowed hard, his breathing accelerated, the vein in his neck pulsating against my lips and tongue.

“As if I’d ever say no to you.” He groaned and tightened his grip around my fingers.

An hour and forty-five minutes later we lay there sprawled across one another as we gasped for air.

“I love you,” he huffed out before kissing my shoulder.

“I love you, too.” I turned my face in his direction. “Nathan... I’m sorry, but... we just fucked.”

We both busted out laughing.

“Yeah, you got me there, beautiful.” He turned to me.

“Okay, I need to eat.” I hopped out of bed, redressing in his boxers and t-shirt.

“Are you really going to prance around in my shit? Did you not see what it does to me?” He picked up a pair of basketball shorts that had fallen out of his suitcase when we knocked it on to the floor.

“You’ll be all right, for now.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“You’re so lucky I’m starving.” He narrowed his eyes at me and nodded meaningfully as we reached the kitchen.

“So, are we going to discuss why you were so upset with me?” I prompted. “I swear I wasn’t snooping. I really was curious about the laptop itself.”

“I didn’t think you were snooping, Jordie, and I wouldn’t have given a shit if you were. I have nothing to hide from you. Yes, I was embarrassed about what I said to my father about marriage.” He opened the fridge and took out a beer.

I hadn’t realized it but I guess I looked like I was about to cry because he put the beer down on the counter and took my hands.

“No, no, I wasn’t embarrassed because I said I wanted to and I really didn’t or anything like that. Shit. I was embarrassed because you saw that I had said I wanted to. I want more than anything for you to be my wife. I was just embarrassed because I didn’t know what you thought about me feeling that way, or if the thought had never crossed your mind how foolish I’d feel. You follow?” He bent his knees so he was nose to nose with me at eye level.

“Yes, I follow.” I gave a slight nod, unsure of what to say.

“But you took away any awkwardness I had about that situation.”

I wasn’t prepared for that conversation yet. I had blurted something out in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t regret what I said, but I knew it was too soon. I had no doubts I would marry him, I just needed the time to wrap my head around everything that had happened. A month ago I was content with being terminally single raising my kid, and now marriage was being brought up? I needed to get off this track and quick.